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Jerry Mumphrey posted:if you donated to my campaign i'll stir ur coffee with it I'm the Lawyer that will be handling all of the lawsuits resulting from burns.
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Apr 7, 2016 20:01
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:if you donated to my campaign i'll stir ur coffee with it I'll start the SuparPAC. Free the Bepis
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Apr 7, 2016 20:03
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Butts More butts, not fewer. Weather Control It's about high time we have outdoor air conditioners, dammit! I'm sick of getting swamp rear end when it's slightly warm outside People Control I think we should have a weaponized space system that helps decrease traffic deaths by identifying problem drivers in real time when they're on the road and summarily execute people when safe to do so for poor driving skills. Churches Get rid of that lady with the bad singing voice, is everyone deaf or something? She can't sing in key, at least I think it's a key problem, her singing voice is so bizarre it's hard to tell why it's so horrible. Schools "Public Education" has been a joke since its inception during the industrial revolution, let's call it what it really is: social and psychological engineering. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing! Once we acknowledge this ruse for what it really is we can unlock the true potential of social engineering. Also we need to replace the way college entrance exams work. For one, they should be based on performance in a Scrabble tournament, it will keep out some of the foreigners who cheat. Foreign words are not allowed in scrabble unless they enter English usage in their own right! Fascists Who needs em? Exterminate all the brutes! Maybe we can get FEMA involved? Television Will be abolished because it is not Islamic Drugs Mandatory, it's the only way we can fight the scourge of Shariah Law Guns Guns should only be allowed for stupid people. The more time you spend around guns, the more likely someone you know is gonna find that gun and pop your rear end for doing something stupid, so I think gun policy can be a great population control method. Global Warming It's not hot today, check and mate liberals  Consumer Rights Everyone has the right to access tuberculosis bacteria if that is their lifestyle choice Tort reform Everyone knows the sachertort is the best tort, but I bet if the government put a little effort into it we could reform the sachertort model into a better tort
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Apr 7, 2016 21:09
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* Education. The School of Hard Knocks! Pain is the best teacher, so all schools will be filled with hot oven ranges, mousetraps, and payday loan vendors. * Military. I will work to come to a bilateral disarmament agreement with Russia, which will involve burying our combined nuclear stockpiles deep inside of the Moon and detonating them, at last destroying mankind's most ancient and deadly foe before it has a chance to escape into the reaches of deep space. * Mandatory Federal Service. Dead malls and big box stores across the country will be bought up and fitted with giant treadmills hooked up to generators. Citizens wishing to receive a Volunteer Power Generation and Weight Loss Tax Credit will be able to run on the mill for allotted periods of time, burning calories AND making our great nation energy independent in a sustainable, environmentally friendly way! * Healthcare: See Mandatory Federal Service. * Environment: See Mandatory Federal Service. Also,
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Apr 7, 2016 21:19
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=i will declare myself Wold Emperor. -All militaries disloyal to the newly formed Terran Empire will be deemed criminal and destroyed. -a world parliament will be formed, with instantaneous recall and adequate representation for every population. -all boarders will be removed =a world wide minimum income of 15,000 credits per year will be instituted for every person on the globe. =all companies that employ more than 100 individuals will be nationalized under the world Empire, with profits going towards the colonization of the solar system
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Apr 7, 2016 21:19
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Draw up fair and reasonable housework roster and attach it to the fridge with a magnet.
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Apr 7, 2016 21:52
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swift and decisive action to finally eliminate those New Conglomerate and Vanu terrorist scum.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:00
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I'd probably burn every copy of Starship Troopers so people will quit suggesting mandatory service as a panacea.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:02
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Blowjobs for all.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:14
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I'd probably burn every copy of Starship Troopers so people will quit suggesting mandatory service as a panacea. As a liberal alternative to candidate Nigmaetcetera's proposal, I suggest making viewing of the movie treatment of Starship Troopers mandatory. The pain of suffering through it will be a more effective deterrent than attempting to destroy the book itself ANIME IS BLOOD fucked around with this message at 22:36 on Apr 7, 2016 |
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Apr 7, 2016 22:29
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:if elected president, eveyr morning i will come to the house of each citizen and make them omelettes with vegetables and cheese if you can make a decent omelet with mushrooms and capers you have my vote
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Apr 7, 2016 22:34
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Education: More funding for American wizardry. Funding for basic wizardry testing and "leg-up" programs in every highschool. A wizard college that's competitive on the world stage. Where do capable American wizards go? They go to England. They go to Russia. They go to Oz up in Canada. Some of them come back, but some of them do not. Some of them stay over there because they have more wizards and more wizard careers, and that is unacceptable. We need to keep them here. Not because we're forcing them, but because here should be the best, the best place for their education. We need better wizards, and we need more wizards, and we need them yesterday. Military: Wizards. Wizards, wizards, and more wizards. And if that's not enough, a secretary of the treasury who'll breathe fire on our enemies from the sky. I am in communication with my future secretary of the treasury and will use magic to summon him as my first act as president. Healthcare: Druids. Controversial but necessary. Green magic is the way of the future, and we can't afford to be second best. Foreign policy: The Secretary of the Treasury will burn and loot our enemies. Once he is free, I cannot stop him. I do not wish to stop him. But I will never lie about it. There will be no foreign contractors, no backroom deals. He will burn, and he will loot, and all the treasure will go into our national reserve. And yes, he is more powerful than his three-headed cousin from Russia. Economy: A return to the gold standard. For obvious reasons.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:37
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I'd probably burn every copy of Starship Troopers so people will quit suggesting mandatory service as a panacea. you must really like the US getting into unnecessary wars
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Apr 7, 2016 22:42
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mdm posted:you must really like the US getting into unnecessary wars No I want to close all overseas military bases and retreat into pre-WWII style military isolationism.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:47
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Abortions for some, miniature American flags for the rest.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:47
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- marry all SJWs with all MRAs, force them to bone at least 3 times a week for 1 year, maybe that way they will finally shut the gently caress up and leave us normal people alone. - nuke all muslim countries, but maybe start with only the Saudis and wait like 2 years to see if poo poo doesn't improve enough. I'd hate having to nuke the lebanese, their girls are hella cute - any internet argument that goes on for longer than 2 days ends with all the involved parties having to either say "I'm a dumb loving idiot" in a public place, loud and clear, or fight to the death in the arena.
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Apr 7, 2016 23:17
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I'd probably burn every copy of Starship Troopers so people will quit suggesting mandatory service as a panacea. Starship Troopers was an all volunteer service, dammit! Get it right!
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Apr 7, 2016 23:27
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wasp coffee enemas for all
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Apr 7, 2016 23:29
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WitchFetish posted:- marry all SJWs with all MRAs, force them to bone at least 3 times a week for 1 year, maybe that way they will finally shut the gently caress up and leave us normal people alone. i think this plan will have long term negative consequence for the species, it's like the opposite if Eugenics
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Apr 7, 2016 23:37
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Rutibex posted:i think this plan will have long term negative consequence for the species, it's like the opposite if Eugenics they will be secretly sterilized.
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Apr 7, 2016 23:41
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dog buttz posted:I will colonize the moon. Moontown will be used for military, scientific, and civilian purposes.  is that you?
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Apr 7, 2016 23:51
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If I was president, I would enact the Corporation Tulpa Act. Corporations will be forced to manifest into a physical mortal form, and can only exist as long as the Tulpa is alive. Corporations are people. Literally. Vote for me.
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Apr 7, 2016 23:59
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If elected President of these United States it is my solemn vow to passionately kiss every head of state I meet on the lips, thus ensuring ever closer ties between us and our many trading partners.
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Apr 8, 2016 00:30
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a tofurkey in every pot and two segways in every garage
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Apr 8, 2016 00:37
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Apr 9, 2016 03:24
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