|
use the gravitational force of my balls to cause a comet headed for earth to deviate from it's path, saving the planet and uniting humanity in an era of 100 years of world peace.
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 02:06
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 19:36 |
|
|
They don't call it a Ball Peen Hammer for nuthin'! 
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 02:15
|
|
|
I am a renowned ballsac doctor so if any goons want to know if their balls are OK just shoot me a PM with a picture and I'll be happy to let you know if anything seems wrong with them. Pro bono, of course.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 02:26
|
|
|
a nature documentary opens with a couple walking hand in hand along the beach. david attenborough describes the nature of balls, saying that there are more pairs of balls on one adult male than there are grains of sand on all the beaches on the planet. he reminds you that none of them are yours, as the ones assigned to you exist somewhere between a medical waste bin and a popular youtube gokart accident
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 02:27
|
|
|
Make a Newton's Cradle using two wrecking balls and my regular ol' balls in the middle.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 03:56
|
|
|
Something about crushing student debt,, honestly my ball's just not in it. Sorry.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 03:57
|
|
|
whoflungpoop posted:a nature documentary opens with a couple walking hand in hand along the beach. david attenborough describes the nature of balls, saying that there are more pairs of balls on one adult male than there are grains of sand on all the beaches on the planet.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 04:00
|
|
|
build a bridge out of them
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 04:23
|
|
|
Deuteronomy 23:1 posted:He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Spoiler: you're all going to hell
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 04:29
|
|
|
sneak up on my balls and scare them really bad!!!!
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 05:47
|
|
|
Depleted and ready to go to bed.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 05:50
|
|
|
the volume of my balls has increased dramatically, but their density has not, i have a special hernia that fills my balls with gases from my lower intestine
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 05:55
|
|
|
Take my balls, bathe them, massage them, caress them and pamper them.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 05:58
|
|
|
Animal-Mother posted:the volume of my balls has increased dramatically, but their density has not, i have a special hernia that fills my balls with gases from my lower intestine that's methane, you could make fire shoot out your dick with some simple DIY surgery!
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 05:59
|
|
|
Animal-Mother posted:the volume of my balls has increased dramatically, but their density has not, i have a special hernia that fills my balls with gases from my lower intestine gas giants imo
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 06:00
|
|
|
crusty posted:Spoiler: you're all going to hell I sacrifice my only balls, the embodiment of my will on this earth, so that all those with damaged balls may enter the kingdom of heaven. So long as they believe in my balls and no other saviour but my balls.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 06:04
|
|
|
I like to let my gray cat pummel and savage my inadequate, useless balls with his power rabbit-kick. Then I incinerate them in a blast furnace. My balls, I mean. Balls grow back but a good gray cat is tough to find.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 06:32
|
|
|
Put increasigly tighter rubber bands around 'em for like a few months until they slowly turn numb and black and fall off 
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 06:35
|
|
|
i have a season pass to disneyland i go there often, with a sack of quarters. i shove my balls into the penny slot of the souvenir penny flattening machines, slip in two quarters, and crank the loving handles.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 06:36
|
|
|
Tuxedo Gin posted:i have a season pass to disneyland This is pretty much perfect, I'm still laughing at the mental image. I would let you crush my balls with a croquet mallet for this, or drop an acme safe on them from the top of the Chrysler building
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 06:52
|
|
|
Please help me remove all these tires from the side of this dock, so I may use my balls as a bumper.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 07:08
|
|
|
only 15 left atm and i keep running out. there's a pokestop across the street from my house but im not getting dressed every 5 minutes
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 07:53
|
|
|
imagine four balls on the edge of my lips
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 09:10
|
|
|
i wish my balls were flattened against a labia right now
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 10:04
|
|
|
I wish my balls were flattened by a steamroller right now
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 12:54
|
|
|
Invest in my balls future and when everything is going my balls way execute my balls family and frame my balls for the murder
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 13:02
|
|
|
This is currently the best thread. Also run over my balls with a steam roller and flatten them like Wile E. Coyote.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 13:57
|
|
|
Balls for the ball throne!
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 14:23
|
|
|
Ruin my balls with rare earth magnets
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 14:25
|
|
|
whoflungpoop posted:a fun game to play is to roll a mans sack gently back and forth in your hands until he lowers his guard and then yank out a pinchful of pubes and when he yelps apologize profusely and blame it on a hangnail and proceed gently again and repeat Ladies should not handle balls ! Nobody should actually. Even when I was really into a girl I would never allow her to poke around there. Same amount of fun as someone playing with your tonsils.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 14:38
|
|
|
same i do not understand japanese ball fondling porn at all
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 14:45
|
|
|
diamond dog posted:only 15 left atm and i keep running out. there's a pokestop across the street from my house but im not getting dressed every 5 minutes update i went to the hardware store and it was swarming with pocket men but i only had 3 balls left and used them all on a ratatta in the parking lot
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 14:47
|
|
|
the joke is you are all talking about testicles but im really into the cultural phenomenon pokemon go which has an item called "pokeballs" pokeballs are used to capture pokemon but the details are vague. how they work is really an invitation to contemplate existential horrors
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 14:49
|
|
|
me, sweating as i run carefully through the obstacle course of tires filled with balls, each step squeaking like a bag of pet toys
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:02
|
|
|
diamond dog posted:the joke is you are all talking about testicles but im really into the cultural phenomenon pokemon go which has an item called "pokeballs" You go to the park to try to catch some pokemon, but every time you think you've found one it turns out to just be an augmented reality image of my balls. No one else at the park seems to be having this problem, so you try exiting the app, but your phone still just displays an image of my balls. In frustration you try turning your phone off, but still...my balls. Afraid that your phone is broken somehow, you try taking the case off to see if there is any damage. But wait a minute...you don't have a case for your phone. That is when you remember that you left your phone at home. That is when you realise that the thing you've been holding, the thing you've been trying to play pokemon go on..... it's my balls.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:10
|
|
|
A Japanese dating sim where all the girls are my balls.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:24
|
|
|
Me trying to trick Aladdin out of his magic balls: *Dressed as beggar* "New balls for old! New balls for old!"
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:30
|
|
|
My balls aren't tragic, they're comedic!
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:32
|
|
|
I want my balls to be executed in the electric chair for a crime they didn't commit while Tom hanks struggles to hold back tears
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 19:36 |
|
|
You've heard of the movie "Dodgeball"? Well get ready for "Dodgeballs!" *Rip Torn throws wrenches at my balls for 90 minutes*
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 15:37
|
|