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You forgot the 's' Because it's a poo poo list.Get it? 
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Dec 23, 2016 06:29
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EugeneJ posted:op did you ask for a piece of the cake C'mon now, be reasonable. I think we all know this portly bastard ate the entire cake and almost certainly the platter it was served upon.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:31
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Eat the list, that way they wont' have the names anymore
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Dec 23, 2016 06:32
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Bro, you are going to get killed over your $100 a month in MSG habits. OMG OMG.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:33
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way too much fatshaming itt
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Dec 23, 2016 06:34
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Was it an ancient scroll? Because that would be truly mystifying.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:35
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Hide in a giant cake and send yourself to Chinese mafia HQ so you can show them you respect their culture.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:35
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Smile. You're on candid camera.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:35
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A misanthrope posted:still better than the goon flop-around-on-the-floor-and-scream style 
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Dec 23, 2016 06:40
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When it becomes time to defend yourself, just remember that even the finest suit of armor has a chink in it.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:44
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At the risk of getting probated I would say just kill you're self and prevent the unknown but it sounds like you're already working on that!
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Dec 23, 2016 06:49
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please tell me what you ordered, every day, for the last 3 years and how much it cost
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Dec 23, 2016 06:56
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I've seen this one. You gotta befriend the wonky old antiques chinese man and notice the staff of the monkey king in the back of his joint. When the triad comes to get you, haul rear end over there and grab the staff. It will transport you to gungfu land where drunken fist master Jackie Chan will almost immediately save you from the celestial warlord's troops, who notice and try to confiscate the staff. Then you gotta get the staff all the way through to the celestial warlord's palace where he has the monkey king trapped. You can't do this with just jackie chan so you'll need suspicious monk jet lee and gungfu hottie on a quest for revenge to help you out. You'll get your gungfu trained up and jet lee will argue with jackie chan a lot. Montage. Eventually youll get to the badguy place and the monkey king will help yall kick rear end all over the place. The celestial emperor will offer you a boon once it's all over and you have to take the ruby slippers option of course. Then you get back to our reality and use your stronk as gently caress gungfu and scrappy heart to just utterly annhilate those triad fools. You can even bring falcor back and let him help you beat them all up really bad. HTH.
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Dec 23, 2016 06:58
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Story is fake as poo poo: the Chinese mafia leaves secret messages via fortune cookies, not loving cakes.
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Dec 23, 2016 07:10
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OP if you're frequenting Lee Ho Fook's and tend to order the beef chow mein, the owner's nonsensical story and cold shoulder treatment are perfectly natural reactions.
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Dec 23, 2016 07:12
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The question on everyone's mind: was it the Chinese Buffet Mafia, or Congestive Heart Failure that killed OP?
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Dec 23, 2016 07:13
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butterbar posted:Op you should buy snd carry a gun from now on op please see my liberal gun thread for ideas on guns to shoot at the bad chinese people (im joking pls dont shoot any chinese people)
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Dec 23, 2016 07:15
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jesus man just go to the chinese restaurant across the street. or down the block. gently caress even a small city has like 6 or 7 places
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Dec 23, 2016 07:16
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Dec 23, 2016 07:17
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Get the list and kill everyone else on the list
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Dec 23, 2016 07:20
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Marv Hushman posted:OP if you're frequenting Lee Ho Fook's and tend to order the beef chow mein, the owner's nonsensical story and cold shoulder treatment are perfectly natural reactions. Fuckin love Zevon's Werewolves of London!
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Dec 23, 2016 07:22
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Ein cooler Typ posted:I go to my local chinese food place about 2-3 times a week, I'm pretty good friends with the owner. Yesterday I went in for lunch and the owner was acting really weird and standoffish while usually we're on pretty good terms. I asked him what was wrong and eventually he told me to "leave and never come back". I pushed him a little more while I was waiting for my order because he seemed nervous or guilty and he told me that the Chinese mafia in the area have been putting the squeeze or w/e on local businesses and to intimidate them they left a cake outside the shop overnight. Inside the cake was a scroll with a list of all the store's most frequent customers' full names and addresses, and I was near the top of the list. My professional opinion is that you need to stop making poo poo up OP.
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Dec 23, 2016 07:23
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ProfessorMurder posted:Fuckin love Zevon's Werewolves of London! Send OP lawyers guns and money
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Dec 23, 2016 07:28
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Continue eating there. Knowing there's danger involved will make the food taste so much better.
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Dec 23, 2016 07:30
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That is some weak poo poo there, my man. It wasn't even directed at you, but at the restaurant guy. It might have been a while since I got my last credible death threat, but it was a lot better than yours.
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Dec 23, 2016 07:37
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Tell them "Taiwan number one"
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Dec 23, 2016 07:59
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The most poorly fabricated chinese bullshit outside of dollar general
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Dec 23, 2016 08:01
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whoflungpoop posted:The most poorly fabricated chinese bullshit outside of dollar general lol
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Dec 23, 2016 08:05
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Crash_N_Burn posted:Tell them "Taiwan number one" What is Taiwan? Did you mean to say "Republic of China"?
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Dec 23, 2016 08:23
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The Human Crouton posted:What is Taiwan? Did you mean to say "Republic of China"? fuckin savage
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Dec 23, 2016 08:24
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Not gonna scroll through the whole thread, OP, but did anybody say "The cake is a lie", yet? Because it loving is.
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Dec 23, 2016 08:31
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The Human Crouton posted:What is Taiwan? Did you mean to say "Republic of China"? Noice
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Dec 23, 2016 08:39
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Ein cooler Typ posted:way too much fatshaming itt stop being a pudgy gently caress then fatboy
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Dec 23, 2016 09:35
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I'm sure you're getting a lot of good advice itt op but I think you should go with your instincts and buy a gun from Walmart and take some vacation time to sit up drinking while you wait for some Asian men to come visit you
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Dec 23, 2016 11:12
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op hired an asian ladyboy for a long weekend and is just laying some groundwork for an excuse in case anyone sees them entering op's house
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Dec 23, 2016 11:50
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gotta "lay low down", "hole up", with "weapon primed, lubed and cocked"
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Dec 23, 2016 11:51
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Start doing small-time jobs for a street-level thug. Eventually he'll introduce you to his boss, and you can start doing favors for him until he introduces you to HIS boss. Repeat until you're the don.
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Dec 23, 2016 11:55
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become max payne and solve this mafia problem once and for all
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Dec 23, 2016 12:01
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Hook up with the nurse who lives close to the bridge. Life-hack: Banging the nurse ensures that you don't lose your weapons when you gotta go to the hospital. Then go on a shooting spree, but make sure that you get shot in the end and not arrested, because if the cops get you, they will not only lock you up for an hour or two, but they will take all your guns as well! Hope that helped.
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Dec 23, 2016 12:04
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| # ? May 26, 2024 19:38 |
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Where exactly do you think they're finding out the names of Chinese restaurant customers? Why does this restaurant have all your information, and how did the "Chinese Mafia" get access to it? Unless you're down in their list as "Steve (enjoys Mongolian Beef)" then you're an idiot who believes dumb poo poo.
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Dec 23, 2016 12:54
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