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JewKiller 3000
Nov 28, 2006

by Lowtax
i like the grocery store op. it's good. i go there almost every day. i usually buy some beer and some bread. if i've run out of meat and cheese then i buy those too. i find the whole experience quite pleasant, frankly

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COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Is this like, Amazon funded market research?

Use the self checkout and stop being such a twat OP

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I like Wegman's because occasionally I make a yakatori marinade for beef skewers and that requires sake and you're not gonna find that poo poo in the local food lion or even most of the local liquor stores yet I can always find it at Wegman's.. Motherfucking yakitori skewers rule man. I had a welder I know make a steel trough for putting coals in and my friends and I just sit on the porch roasting them motherfuckers and getting drunk. Also they have some cheeses that're aged like 16-24 months.

Toilet Shoes
Aug 22, 2016

by Lowtax
You know what the best part of the supermarket is?

Going on a Wednesday at 10 am and getting hit on constantly by all the bored house wives that are just waiting for a bit of attention.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Toilet Shoes posted:

You know what the best part of the supermarket is?

Going on a Wednesday at 10 am and getting hit on constantly by all the bored house wives that are just waiting for a bit of attention.

This except they're divorced and it's 1:00A at the bar.

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
My grocery store is covered in image of this lady:



and it's like stop it you are not that happy about your armful of peppers

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
There's also this guy who frequently holds up different things but bud I am guessing you don't shop at a place called Food Basics with your gigantic teeth and perfect symmetry

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

angerbeet posted:

There's also this guy who frequently holds up different things but bud I am guessing you don't shop at a place called Food Basics with your gigantic teeth and perfect symmetry



The Rib Kid grin.

Skypie
Sep 28, 2008
Maybe those people are just really content with their lives and she knows she's gonna make some bangin stuffed peppers soon

i like that
May 22, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
Grocery Store Goons

Toilet Shoes
Aug 22, 2016

by Lowtax

Honky Dong Country posted:

This except they're divorced and it's 1:00A at the bar.

Sure, I've bagged my share of 40+ year olds.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

I want to visit a cult market. They look so attractive...teeth, and...skin.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

angerbeet posted:

There's also this guy who frequently holds up different things but bud I am guessing you don't shop at a place called Food Basics with your gigantic teeth and perfect symmetry





I don't know dick about Photoshop so have a lovely MSPaint.

Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Jun 22, 2017

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy

Honky Dong Country posted:



I don't know dick about Photoshop so have a lovely MSPaint.

lmao

Total Party Kill
Aug 25, 2005

i was once asked to leave a grocery store for 'causing a scene' but they really shouldn't have made that doritos display so wobbly otherwise it wouldn't have collapsed that easily. they didnt even let me buy the bag i was trying to reach.

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
I'm glad that you suffer, OP

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Three-Phase posted:

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA... PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE...

I had that stupid drat thing go off twice in a row once. It's like all the major retailers bought from the exact same company and all their self-checkouts suck. It still beats the alternative of getting in line behind:

  • Person with a completely full cart
  • Person with a bag full of a hundred coupons
  • Person who insists on letting their toddler put all the items on the conveyor belt, do the credit card reader, and frankly anything other than sit in the cart and keep quiet
  • Person with a bag full of a hundred coupons who argues with the cashier about which items are accepted and which aren't
  • Person who initiates long, personal conversation with the cashier
  • Combinations of the above

When there's fifteen regular checkouts, fifty customers, and three lines are open while a sleepy teenage floor manager listlessly calls for team members to come up to the front... if they feel like it.

i too, shop at safeway

except 1 line is open, not 3

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
have you ever heard the saying "you're not in traffic, you are traffic"?

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I refuse to use self checkout because I'm a lazy sack of poo poo and they pay their cashiers and bag boys from the money I'm spending on their products so I'll be damned if I'm gonna do all the store's checkout labor for them. :colbert:

Blockade
Oct 22, 2008

The Publix nearby delivers and they usually show up in about 30 minutes which is way better than Amazon.

Their stores are nice too and they always have good stuff. They also gave a special needs cousin of mine a job that's decent enough for her to live on her own and pay her bills.

Sorry all goons that do not have Publix

Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000

mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers
I go to the grocery store 3 or 4 times a week 'cause I like to get fresh stuff and cook often, plus I drink too much and need to constantly keep beer in stock.

I enjoy the grocery store but it might help that it's HEB, the best grocery store.

Jesus Christ fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Jun 22, 2017

Trojan.exe
Feb 22, 2011

I never said I was a role model
Being anorexic has the nice perk of not having to deal with the grocery store all that often. Try it sometime, you may find it to your liking.

Les Os
Mar 29, 2010

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

COMRADES posted:

Is this like, Amazon funded market research?

Use the self checkout and stop being such a twat OP

best part of self checkout is there's like 20 people with carts full of groceries and I just walk to an open regular checkout with my handbasket and am done in a minute. It's straight up a joke among regular employees at my local winco, the dumbest people with full carts invariably clog the self checkout while people with like a dozen necessities just go through the regular line and get on with their day.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
wtf is wrong with you op? going to the grocery store is the best part of the week! shopping and thinking about all of the tasty things you plan to eat is fun and calming

Toilet Shoes
Aug 22, 2016

by Lowtax

Rutibex posted:

wtf is wrong with you op? going to the grocery store is the best part of the week! shopping and thinking about all of the tasty things you plan to eat is fun and calming

I'm going to take this person shopping with me.

bloom
Feb 25, 2017

by sebmojo
Going to the grocery store is no biggie really. Sorry about your depression op.

Number_6
Jul 23, 2006

BAN ALL GAS GUZZLERS

(except for mine)
Pillbug
Last Sunday I went shopping at HEB and the store was out of stock for like 5 of the 12 items on my list. I almost went full postal.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THE PEPPER JACK FLAVOR CHEEZ-ITS, TIME TO DIE MOTHERFUCKERS
YOU HAVE 7 OTHER poo poo FLAVORS BUT NOT THE ONE GOOD ONE
WHY DO YOU EVEN STOCK ANY OTHER KIND

they were also out of Simply Lemonade, and the kind of Snyders Olde Tyme pretzels I like

Number_6 fucked around with this message at 07:53 on Jun 22, 2017

B.H. Facials
May 9, 2011

"Getting teased is part of growing up. It's no big deal. Just tell yourself, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a .44 Magnum will tear that bully a new asshole!'"
I've spoiled myself by generally going to the grocery store at 11 o'clock at night. If I do go during the day I'm like, "Where'd all these assholes come from?"

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
I like to go in the early morning, so I can get first crack at the old breads cart. some times they have cheese buns on there

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
I too enjoy trips to the foods library.

meet girls at the store
Nov 4, 2002
Just lol if you don't just do all of your food shopping at Costco instead, and pick up a $1.50 all beef hot dog and fountain drink WITH refill while you're there

Commie NedFlanders
Mar 8, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

meet girls at the store posted:

Just lol if you don't just do all of your food shopping at Costco instead, and pick up a $1.50 all beef hot dog and fountain drink WITH refill while you're there

There's lots of poo poo you can't get at Costco.

Toilet Shoes
Aug 22, 2016

by Lowtax

Panamaniac posted:

I too enjoy trips to the foods library.

I don't think this poo poo could be better expressed then this.

Buller
Nov 6, 2010
I like grocery store :)

Such a cozy feel and sometimes you find new stuff you can try to eat.

Les Os
Mar 29, 2010
I went to an heb that had a coffee machine in it

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
I'm the old guy sitting in his truck for what seems like hours at a time in the parking lot. The engine isn't on.

SuperSlacker
Mar 11, 2007

What's the deal with grocery stores?

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There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

OP you're probably going to die of a heart attack/stroke some day if all of these little inconsequential things piss you off so much. Your stress levels must be through the roof.

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