|
Devils Affricate posted:Typically you won't get the job, that's how it goes. It's really not the end of the world. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer not to work for a company that does this. Me too man, me too. ... but you gotta have some flexibility in your beliefs. Hail satan.
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2018 23:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 26, 2024 14:01 |
|
|
client posted:a friend of mine is a stevedore and had to get tested for some reason when a crane hit his truck. he passed by smuggling in clean piss that his dad (also a stevedore) got him. A lot of companies do drug tests on anyone involved in any kind of workplace incident, because if nothing else it's an easy out for them to dodge any kind of workman's comp if you happen to fail. Devils Affricate posted:Typically you won't get the job, that's how it goes. It's really not the end of the world. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer not to work for a company that does this. I mean, most people would prefer not to have to work for a living at all and get paid simply to be the fantastic superstars that are themselves, but sadly that's not how the real world works. Making the best of one of several lovely choices is the life a lot of folks live.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 13:42
|
|
|
For my work we have an annual drug screen, and for some reason two years ago the room they had us use didn't have an actual toilet, so I filled the sample cup 100% to the tippy top, then pissed the rest into a different non sample cup that was in the room. I said "Sorry, man!" And the lady working there looked so sad, but just kinda said "it happens  "
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 14:02
|
|
|
Malcolm Excellent posted:For my work we have an annual drug screen, and for some reason two years ago the room they had us use didn't have an actual toilet, so I filled the sample cup 100% to the tippy top, then pissed the rest into a different non sample cup that was in the room. I said "Sorry, man!" And the lady working there looked so sad, but just kinda said "it happens lol
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 14:26
|
|
|
They only needed one sample cup. I would have finished pissing on the wall and then floor. I mean I wouldn't feel inclined filling another sample. If they want my extra piss they can drink it off the floor.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 15:32
|
|
|
Sponge Baathist posted:They only needed one sample cup. I would have finished pissing on the wall and then floor. I mean I wouldn't feel inclined filling another sample. If they want my extra piss they can drink it off the floor. Usually the place has a urinal or a toilet for excess, this place didn't. I don't know if they thought I could just tie it off midstream or what, but I'm sure mine was the only extra cup of pee that sample lady had to deal with that day.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 15:44
|
|
|
My last job required a drug test. The problem was that I worked from 10pm to 7am and they sent out notifications to go in for drug testing at 10am and required that they were done by the end of the business day. It required careful explaining to HR that you could not do surprise drug testing on someone who wasn't on site when they sent out notifications.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 16:38
|
|
|
Last time I was drug tested, I was working for local government and for admission to nursing school. I can understand getting drug tested before being a 911 operator and before going to do clinical hours in hospitals where you will be passing meds. I still think that drug testing is fundamentally unlawful search and seizure, and is a tool of systematic control by the powers that be.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 17:51
|
|
|
I've cheated on most of my drug tests for jobs. But aerobic exercise and lotsa cranberry juice let me pass one in less then 7 days one time.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 19:21
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:Typically you won't get the job, that's how it goes. It's really not the end of the world. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer not to work for a company that does this. I envy your unrealistic world view and I'm glad you're in any kind of position where you can actually follow through with that but, unfortunately, thats just not going to fly with most companies and people who prefer not to be homeless.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 19:36
|
|
|
I tested positive for hydrocodone, oxymorphone and diazepam(Valium) on a test for workman’s comp. Of course they didn’t bother asking what medications I was on. So when they called to let me know, I could hear their delight deflate as I read off my prescription info. Pricks. On the plus side, I was openly high as gently caress at work for months. And my coworkers liked that they could explain why I was always in a great mood all the time.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 19:42
|
|
|
Ardemia posted:I still think that drug testing is fundamentally unlawful search and seizure, and is a tool of systematic control by the powers that be. It's bullshit yeah. Especially for weed.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 23:00
|
|
|
SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:what happened to the first dillon failed screening
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 23:06
|
|
|
AbusePuppy posted:I mean, most people would prefer not to have to work for a living at all and get paid simply to be the fantastic superstars that are themselves, but sadly that's not how the real world works. Making the best of one of several lovely choices is the life a lot of folks live. see I disagree with this not doing anything is as soul destroying as having a bad job. I think most people, or maybe just me, would like to do useful work that they enjoy and not ablate their identities in terrible hell work.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 23:16
|
|
|
1gnoirents posted:I envy your unrealistic world view and I'm glad you're in any kind of position where you can actually follow through with that but, unfortunately, thats just not going to fly with most companies and people who prefer not to be homeless. OP already has a job. In this position, yes you can pick and choose. If you're in a situation where you're straight up facing homelessness as an alternative then sure piss in the cup but that's not what we're talking about here.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2018 23:31
|
|
|
Those cleansing drinks are just creatine monohydrate, vitamin b complex, and loving koolaid. Go to a goddamn GNC and buy a lifetime supply of creatine and vitamin b for drug tests for $20. It beat military drug tests for me over a decade ago, multiple times. Dilution is the solution to the pollution. Unless it's GC/MS, then lol.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 01:46
|
|
|
I had a similar story earlier this year, OP. I took a poo poo ton of vitamins the day and night before, and the morning of. Ended up drinking 3L of water that morning before the test. Woke up, slammed something like a litre. Over the next two hours I drank a litre and a half more and pissing a bunch. Once my piss was almost clear I tapered the water intake. On the way to the test I slammed a neon yellow powerade. I had to piss really, really bad right after, like so much so I wasn't going to make it through the test without pissing my pants. Stopped at a McDonalds, had the best piss of my life and drank a bit more water to make up for the lost piss. Worked like a charm. My piss was yellow enough to not look suspect in the testing cup and it also turned the blue toilet water green.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 02:41
|
|
|
Last job I talked about nootropic stacks and microdosing during the interview so lol at drug tests
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 02:52
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:OP already has a job. In this position, yes you can pick and choose. I'm looking for another job to gently caress over my work's upper management and to quickly pay out my large hoard of vacation time that i never get to use. In this case, the indignity of having to piss in a cup like a child is dwarfed by my desire to spite my current employer as much as possible. Also the new place is closer to my apartment and has full cubicles and free coffee.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 03:14
|
|
|
My piss is clean atm. You want me to mail you some?
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 03:19
|
|
|
Too late brosephus. We all just gotta sit back and wait until I fail. I'll email the hr lady tomorrow and bring it up nonchalantly. I am thinking something like "WAS MY PISS SALTY ENOUGH TO BE ACCEPTED INTO YOUR EMPLOY" or "So did i piss hot or wut"
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 03:21
|
|
|
SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:I'm looking for another job to gently caress over my work's upper management and to quickly pay out my large hoard of vacation time that i never get to use. In this case, the indignity of having to piss in a cup like a child is dwarfed by my desire to spite my current employer as much as possible. At my last job my vacation time was pretty much maxed out and for like six months I couldn't accrue more time so I had to take "sick" days if I ever wanted to see any of it. They never let me take time off because I was "too vital" but when their IPO failed to draw any investors my whole team got laid off and I never saw any money for the time I had banked. I had to keep calling their HR department to even get my final paycheck sent to me.   So yeah, take a vacation and look for a new job at the same time.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 03:55
|
|
|
in high school they did random drug testing and they got me in senior year, they tested my hair and suspended me for two weeks
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 04:02
|
|
|
Caesar Saladin posted:in high school they did random drug testing and they got me in senior year, they tested my hair and suspended me for two weeks That's bullshit. What kind of school does that kind of poo poo unless your in sports or something?
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 04:20
|
|
|
Treser posted:That's bullshit. What kind of school does that kind of poo poo unless your in sports or something? Private schools
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 04:44
|
|
|
Caesar Saladin posted:in high school they did random drug testing and they got me in senior year, they tested my hair and suspended me for two weeks what in god's fuckin' name - SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:Private schools ahh, right.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 06:43
|
|
|
I don't have any drug screening stories because I live in the UK, and it's AFAIK completely unheard of here, and nobody would accept it because we're a low-key nation of cokeheads.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 09:13
|
|
|
1gnoirents posted:I kinda do. Dilution works. I've had plenty of standard labcorp style tests and also monthly probation office drug testing where they literally watch your dick pee. Bolded surely isn't an actual thing, right?
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 09:16
|
|
|
Spuckuk posted:Bolded surely isn't an actual thing, right? Criminal probation & Department of Transportation drug tests only
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 12:09
|
|
|
Military too. We called them Cockgazers. Every military drug test will have a cockgazer. Sometimes it's just you and the gazer, sometimes the gazer has a communal bathroom full of people to watch at once.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 12:33
|
|
|
Caesar Saladin posted:in high school they did random drug testing and they got me in senior year, they tested my hair and suspended me for two weeks drug testing in high school is lunacy but hey man free two week vacation for getting high doesn't seem too bad
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 12:35
|
|
|
holy poo poo at living in a place where your employer can force you to take a drug test. shameful stuff
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 13:07
|
|
|
Honestly, I don't give a poo poo if an experienced stoner is high at work. I don't want someone who just started smoking weed a week ago, but a daily smoker of over a decade? He'll be fine. Especially just doing menial bullshit all day.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 13:35
|
|
|
SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:I'm looking for another job to gently caress over my work's upper management and to quickly pay out my large hoard of vacation time that i never get to use. In this case, the indignity of having to piss in a cup like a child is dwarfed by my desire to spite my current employer as much as possible. good luck mother trucker
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 13:49
|
|
|
Spuckuk posted:Bolded surely isn't an actual thing, right? It is. I had a P.O. in Indiana that would literally stare at my dick while I peed. Not from far away, either. This restroom was the size of a bathroom stall so he’d literally be 2 feet from me. I did it one time and said gently caress it and moved back to Ohio.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 16:42
|
|
|
Update: I passed. Old work booted me this morning after I gave notice and is paying me out 130 hours of PTO and paying me my two weeks notice. Getting hosed up on beer now at 10 AM.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 17:12
|
|
|
Is pee not supposed to be crystal clear, because the only time I’ve ever had pee with color is when I’m sick.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 17:30
|
|
|
Just left the probe office. My first test was the 11th and a total surprise. My test on the 20th my thc was barely down, and ive been drinking water, vitamins, running, and eating good. I have poo poo kidneys though, could that be helping keep the weed levels high? Not using weed isn't having a very big effect, its got me a bit worried.
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 18:06
|
|
|
Lena Dunham posted:Criminal probation & Department of Transportation drug tests only Athletes too Happened to me E: it's like standard operating procedure for big time college athletic programs and any professional team. You get to know the pee man.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 18:25
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 26, 2024 14:01 |
|
|
One of the courier jobs I used to work drug tested but said that we could test positive for weed because we were in Colorado and it was technically legal I take the test in the testing department calls me back and tells me that I tested positive for weed expecting me to somehow be surprised but I just said yeah that sounds about right and it seems like they were disappointed I wasn't devastated I guess they don't know what the companies do with the results so they were probably confused as to why I didn't seem to give a poo poo but there you go
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2018 18:35
|
|
