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I'm the assistant GM trying to talk the pissed-off sous out of quitting. I know if I turn around I'll catch one of the pissed-off line guys wiping a booger or something worse on your food and have to fire him, but we're already slammed and the last thing I need tonight is to be down two cooks, so I keep my focus on the sous. I know he worked a double, and it's thirty minutes before closing, and this 30-top didn't even make a reservation, but work with me man. A beer gets him calmed back down and on the line, so I slip over to the dishpit and take a hit off my vape. I offer it to Hector, my one happy employee, you'd have to kill his own child in front of him to make him stop smiling. He shakes his head, smiles more, scrubs the plates harder, and says something in Spanish - I no hablo much espaniol, but I understand "no", "jefe", and "gracias" and I remind myself to buy this badass dishwasher a beer too before he heads home. Then the loving waitress, Kimberlynn, ruins everything. "The 30-top is complaining about the medium-rares still being pink in the middle, all fifteen of them. They want to speak to the manager." I step into the dining room as the entire kitchen erupts into wrath and fury.
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Jun 10, 2019 10:57
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Parent #1: Sorry but little Timmy puked in the ball pit Parent #2: Sorry but little Tammy peed in the ball pit Parent #3: Sorry but little Tommy pooped in the ball pit Parent #4: Sorry but little Lemmy bled in the ball pit Parent #5: Sorry but little Emmy lost her heroin needle in the ball pit Parent #6: Sorry but little Cammy also pooped in the ball pit Person responsible for cleaning the ball pit: Hey that's OK, no problemo! 
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Jun 10, 2019 11:17
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Would it be possible for the kitchen to whip up the box of double cheesy mac hamburger helper I brought?
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Jun 10, 2019 11:20
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Egg Drop soup cascades out of the sides of the clumsy plastic Chinese Food soup spoon.
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Jun 10, 2019 11:22
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No, LISTEN PLEASE! My son, Christopher, will be eating a hot dog with NOTHING on it. Fries on the side. My other son, Wistopher, will be eating hot dog with KETCHUP on it. No fries on the side, but can we get those to go? For Christopher to have later. Also I'll take 3 long island iced teas, I've earned it! Wait one second, DAD ARE YOU PAYING FOR EVERTYHING? Oh. Can you change that order? Forget the hot dogs and the fries. My kids will just eat some of the spinach and artichoke dip we got for everyone. But can you get them some crayons to draw? Also do you have paper? Yes I still want the long island iced teas.
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Jun 10, 2019 13:45
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I'm the foodrunner on his first night on the job trying to get a piece of that sweet, sweet gratuity included by schlepping piping hot plates that have just come out of the wood fire oven so the server can go smoke. I get second degree burns on both hands and arms while the family tries to remember who ordered one of the 4 Penne Rustica's that are slowly searing their way through my flesh. I make a mental note to double up on towels next trip. Server tosses me a dollar at the end of the night while I'm cleaning up the biological disaster area that is the party table. Miserable Maid posted:Yeah, it's standard practice for a while. This was me. But it was young and stupid and it was my first job and I didn't know any better. I left after 6 months to work at an optical retailer with significantly better pay, and slightly less bodily fluid cleanup involved. Jay_Zombie fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Jun 11, 2019 |
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Jun 11, 2019 20:05
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If your tips don't add up to minimum wage the employer is obligated to make up the difference. At least in non-hellcountries.
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Jun 12, 2019 01:14
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*shows up 20 minutes early* *huffs loudly and repeatedly* 'The point of a reservation is that everything will be ready when you arrive!' 
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Jun 12, 2019 01:18
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*Drags everyone to the really bad Chinese buffet* "Sure everything is cold and covered in stale peanut grease and the beef is 99% fat and the noodles are mush, but it's so much food for the value!"
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Jun 12, 2019 01:24
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is convinced the 18 year old waitress wants me based on three 20 second conversations we have to have so she could do her job.
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Jun 12, 2019 04:10
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I live I Australia where tilling is basically nonexistent unless it's putting change in the jar at a coffee shop counter and when American tourists try to tip at a high end restaurant they are politely rebuffed as out wait staff are paid by the hour.
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Jun 12, 2019 04:17
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Someone drops a salad on my head
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Jun 12, 2019 06:31
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Colonel Cancer posted:Serving and bar tending attracts losers of all calibers friendo. Including Congresswomen!
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Jun 12, 2019 10:13
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orders a gently caress tonne of drinks, most of us end up drunk and conveniently forget to pay for most of them while we split the bill 25 different ways
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Jun 12, 2019 12:11
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Bill! It's been what 12 years? Still sober I assume? No, your drinking again? Oh no I don't want one, you got two for yourself? I think I left the stove on. Mike, Bill is drinking again, yes we need to get out of here before he causes a scene. Hurry he's singing Danny Boy and the appetizers aren't even out yet!
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Jun 12, 2019 12:20
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Can we get a bunch of appetizers for the whole table here? What? Oh I don't know, can we get some wings or potato skins? You don't have potato skins? What? Sorry, it's very loud my children are yelling! Yeah fine bring us 2 dozen wings and some of those meatballs. And some garlic bread, can you do that? Can you split that up evenly between everyone at the table? Guys I think I ordered too many appetizers.
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Jun 12, 2019 15:01
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Including Congresswomen! 
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Jun 12, 2019 15:07
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*passes bread basket* 'What's this green stuff?' 'Chimichurri. The waitress just told us.' *passes bread basket* 'What's this green stuff?' 'Chimichurri. The waitress just told us.' *passes bread basket* 'What's this green stuff?' 'Chimichurri. The waitress just loving told us!' *bread basket keeps getting passed, same question asked by each person that didn't listen to the waitress*
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Jun 12, 2019 15:08
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LadyPictureShow posted:*passes bread basket* Can I get some of that wasabi?
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Jun 12, 2019 16:43
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Gridlocked posted:I live I Australia where tilling is basically nonexistent unless it's putting change in the jar at a coffee shop counter and when American tourists try to tip at a high end restaurant they are politely rebuffed as out wait staff are paid by the hour. This always blows me away. I get it, tipping isn't a custom here and you make decent hourly, but unless it's an immediately-fireable offense for some idiotic reason, why would you ever turn down extra money for a job done well? Doubly so in countries with slumping economies. I just ate a loving awesome 5-course meal with drinks throughout and it was $40 for 2 people, just take the $50, I know you don't tip here, it's fine.
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Jun 12, 2019 16:57
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Snow Cone Capone posted:This always blows me away. I get it, tipping isn't a custom here and you make decent hourly, but unless it's an immediately-fireable offense for some idiotic reason, why would you ever turn down extra money for a job done well? Because that's what Americans do and no one wants to be one of those assholes.
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Jun 12, 2019 17:12
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Arrhythmia posted:Because that's what Americans do and no one wants to be one of those assholes. They tip in many other countries too  e: also I'm not sure how accepting free money from a dumb American is some sort of act of defiance against them, if anything it's a double-own because these "lol these dummies don't even know we already make a living wage" Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Jun 12, 2019 |
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Jun 12, 2019 17:25
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What is a "car... car-nigh-tas?" Is that right? Is that like a taco? Oh, it's slow cooked pork? Like pulled pork? Not too spicy? I'll have that then, that doesn't sound too ethnic at all. This isn't like a BBQ pulled pork sandwich at all! And it is spicy! Goddamnit, I'm going to have heartburn all goddamn night because some illegals in the back don't know how to do a proper barbecue. No Martha I don't care if people can hear me! And these chips are awful, for as much as we're paying you'd think they could at least pull out the name brand Tostitos party scoops.
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Jun 12, 2019 17:48
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*brings in 20 Costco pizzas in*
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Jun 12, 2019 18:19
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LadyPictureShow posted:*passes bread basket* This guacamole is loving terrible
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Jun 12, 2019 18:24
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Hi yes let me get the Steak and Potatoes combo, but instead of the baked potato can I get tater tots, and instead of the steak can I get a burger?
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Jun 12, 2019 18:26
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Super Waffle posted:Hi yes let me get the Steak and Potatoes combo, but instead of the baked potato can I get tater tots, and instead of the steak can I get a burger? Can you cook that super rare for me? Steak Tartare? Gross I'm not eating raw meat
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Jun 12, 2019 18:30
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Who What Now posted:What is a "car... car-nigh-tas?" Is that right? Is that like a taco? Oh, it's slow cooked pork? Like pulled pork? Not too spicy? I'll have that then, that doesn't sound too ethnic at all. Is this the crossover episode with the boomer thread?
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Jun 12, 2019 18:30
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oh yeah we're going to this chinese all you can eat buffet the place is great *place is just a front for money laundering* *food is terrible and sanitation is disgusting, kitchen filled with mice poo poo* see I told you this place was great!
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Jun 12, 2019 18:32
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Do it ironically posted:oh yeah we're going to this chinese all you can eat buffet the place is great *has a 50% coupon for one person, unbeknownst to the rest of the family*
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Jun 12, 2019 18:33
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*Reservation for 15ish having a birthday party turns into 30 people coming in randomly over the course of 2 hours* *person that only orders a $5 beer and side of fries gets pissed they’re auto gratted $1.50* *rest of the party is annoyed that the 20 some checks they decided to split isn’t ready the second they’re ready to leave and it takes about 30 minutes to split and process that many cards because none of them have loving cash for their $9 bill*
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Jun 12, 2019 20:19
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Icochet posted:Parent #1: Sorry but little Timmy puked in the ball pit lol like those were ever cleaned.
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Jun 12, 2019 22:33
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:lol like those were ever cleaned. you mean you're not supposed to be able to just stick the balls together to make shapes?
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Jun 12, 2019 22:34
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Snow Cone Capone posted:you mean you're not supposed to be able to just stick the balls together to make shapes? I just think it was a monumental mistake to not design those things such that they can be easily pressure washed, with grated drains in the bottom, but knowing kids some measles-carrying snotnosed mewling bezoar would find a way to climb down it and die by choking on their own terror puke so *shrug* they dont let me design play spaces.
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Jun 12, 2019 22:37
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Icochet posted:Parent #1: Sorry but little Timmy puked in the ball pit PHIZ KALIFA posted:lol like those were ever cleaned. The balls. It's where pee is stored.
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Jun 12, 2019 23:06
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Snow Cone Capone posted:This always blows me away. I get it, tipping isn't a custom here and you make decent hourly, but unless it's an immediately-fireable offense for some idiotic reason, why would you ever turn down extra money for a job done well? That's not the stupid bit. The stupid bit is the US lets restaurants pay sub-minimum wage and the server has to get the extra money to make her full pay. In other countries it's treated as a optional bonus for your server, not an unstated mandatory requirement. And don't say "the company has to compensate if they don't get enough tips." They do for one or two paychecks, until they can fire the server for substandard performance, evidence is "If they were at standard performance they would make enough on their tips". I've seen it in action. rndmnmbr fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Jun 13, 2019 |
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Jun 13, 2019 02:10
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rndmnmbr posted:That's not the stupid bit. The stupid bit is the US lets restaurants pay sub-minimum wage and the server has to get the extra money to make her full pay. In other countries it's treated as a optional bonus for your server, not an unstated mandatory requirement. Yes that's also bad but not at all what I was talking about.
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Jun 13, 2019 02:21
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*farts loudly during the only three seconds of silence of the entire evening*
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Jun 13, 2019 02:28
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Discovers through an lost unseen uncle that your cousin became a singer and changed her name to Katy Perry. Spends rest of evening figuring out best way to get home and clear computer search history.
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Jun 13, 2019 04:23
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Really?
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Jun 13, 2019 14:13
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