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rain dogs posted:I would like to play a game... of rocket leaague Jigsaw def plays mmo’s all day and maybe prototyping torture builds in garrys mod.
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Aug 29, 2021 11:27
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| # ? May 27, 2024 23:55 |
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Songbearer posted:I would like to play... a game. Henry McClaine, you've dedicated your life to catching the largest fish in your local lake, all the while neglecting the needs of your wife. Now it's time to decide what is more important: Your hobby or your loved one? You'll find the key you need to save her in the bottom of this barrel of fishing hoo- Splicer fucked around with this message at 11:58 on Aug 29, 2021 |
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Aug 29, 2021 11:54
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play with this bop it for a while or I'll shoot you in the face
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Aug 29, 2021 12:44
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Time to game a play gently caress I DID IT AGAIN
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Aug 29, 2021 13:19
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So you like to throw around ugly posts, Now you have to eat a tub of Post Its to survive, and then- wait....INTERNET posts.....poo poo
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Aug 29, 2021 13:55
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Welcome to my torture maze, where you'll spend days and even weeks navigating its many twists and turns and- yeah I did it myself, so what- why the gently caress are you talking about joists- they're fine! I eyeballed them. Huh huh well I'll have you kmow I certified myself as an inspector and designed this on MSPaint and
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Aug 29, 2021 13:59
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*long, strained exhale* gently caress, man. Motherfuckers called me up at like 2am last night to bounce a server. I don't care if I'm on call, that poo poo can be done by the guy who's ALREADY ON SITE. Yes, I have a job, how do you think I afford this hobby? I swear to god if Steve... are you loving kidding me I put in for PTO THREE WEEKS AGO. WHAT...... No, I can't come in, I'm busy..... Steve, we talked about this LAST MONTH........... No I don't know Paula's number..... Shouldn't you know how to contact Paula? .... Fine I'll join a bridge............. Hold on a sec, I gotta turn on the laptop. You know it'd be faster if you put a SSD in this thing, right? I don't know why IT has to.... fine whatever. I'll be on mute when I get on, just tell me when I'm actually needed. *long, strained exhale* I'll be back in a while, don't go killing yourself yet.
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Aug 29, 2021 14:01
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"you've spent your whole life selling hundreds of mini recorders and cassettes to a clearly dying man, giving him only the smallest bulk discount."
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Aug 29, 2021 16:51
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Ian McAvoy you have spent the last 18 months working at Taco Bell putting lettuce in tacos even when discerning customers clearly ask for just meat and cheese. Now, you will learn the true damage you have wrought. Before you is a five gallon tub of chopped iceberg lettuce infected with e. coli. If you can eat it without making GBS threads yourself to death I will administer the antidote for the delayed neurotoxin I injected you with.
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Aug 29, 2021 17:08
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You've spent your entire 40 years collecting the most obscure manga anime and the most comprehensive funko pop collection in America I just wanted to point that out your life is torture enough lol
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Aug 29, 2021 17:11
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Johnathan Artsburg you have been a licensed plumber for over 15 years, and yet in all that time you never bothered to perfect your craft, and left a dying man with a faucet that still dribbles a little bit under the P-trap. Not a lot, but enough that I- I mean he has to leave a small plastic bucket under the sink and empty it every few months. And so I will give you a chance to prove your mastery of plumbing. Before you is a leaking pipe. Inside the pipe is a cure for the delayed neurotoxin in your system. A wrench has been surgically implanted into your left butt cheek. You have one hour. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a certain tardy bus driver to go inject with delayed neurotoxin.
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Aug 29, 2021 17:14
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Cassandra Lang, for years you have sold people what they thought was delayed neurotoxin but actually it was just saline solution. I'd say that there was a trap here but we both know that's not true because I don't have any fuckin neurotoxin!
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Aug 29, 2021 17:16
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You've spent your life complaining about the heat and the neighbors wait MA?! *Mama Jigsaw voice* Jigsaw you havent called us in months you're sentenced to calling us once a week and going out ONCE with that nice girl down the street
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Aug 29, 2021 17:17
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Derrick Jefferson, I want to start out by saying this is not a race thing...
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Aug 29, 2021 17:18
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ikanreed posted:Derrick Jefferson, I want to start out by saying this is not a race thing... Lol
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Aug 29, 2021 17:24
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ikanreed posted:Derrick Jefferson, I want to start out by saying this is not a race thing...
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Aug 29, 2021 17:33
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...and in retrospect using a noose as the core of the trap was distasteful on my part and I didn't consider the histrorical implications. Again, I did not intend this to be a race thing.
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Aug 29, 2021 18:23
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Pat Billups, I counted. I kept track. Over the past 4 months, you have neglected to include the biscuit in my 3-piece combo over 10 times. Even when I explicitly remind you not to forget the biscuit, you have looked me dead in the eye at the drive through window promising it has been included. I'm sure I can't be the only customer at your Popeye's that has gone biscuitless at your hand. Sure, no one really likes them, but they are an essential part of the combo. Now, you will make up for the biscuits you have so brazenly withheld. In front of you, there is a covered platter. Inside it, you will find 10 Popeye's biscuits. You have been injected with a poison that will most certainly kill you if you do not ingest the antidote in the next 20 minutes. One of those biscuits has been laced with the antidote. The only way to be sure that you have taken the antidote is to eat all of the biscuits. I have remotely unlocked your restraints. You may begin. This is the most important test of your life. Oh, did I forget your drink? How careless of me. Don't choke.
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Aug 29, 2021 21:25
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Pat Billups, you escaped my last trap by just not eating any of the biscuits and i admit that one was on me...
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Aug 29, 2021 22:07
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It doesn't matter, man, I'm gonna die soon, I thought doing this would give me purpose after I lived through that lovely wreck, but the cancer is just gonna kill me. All of you are so stupid that dying might be just a relief at this point.
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Aug 29, 2021 22:24
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BLAMBLAMBLAM Right, lunchtime Hold my calls after lunch Tiffany, I'm going to just do health and safety plans and order some more neurotoxin, maybe we can knock off an hour early
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Aug 30, 2021 00:03
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Key--Kai--Keegh.... ugh.. really? That's how you say it? Oh for gently caress's sake-- KAIGHLEIHY. You are a basic rear end bitch. Look I was going to make you choose between your looks and online presence or your life but gently caress it no one's gonna miss another bottle blonde Alabama grad. Just, like, sit there and cry while the mask does its thing or something. No, you... *sigh* you can't get a PSL Frappe Jesus christ
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Aug 30, 2021 00:50
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Good morning, Jonathan. When you went to bed last night you were secure in the knowledge you were safe. Today. We play a game for your life-- the life you squander every night watching trashy cartoons. Before you is a Dell Optiplex. You must find a way to save the pictures in the hard drive before the disk dies. Please save everything to a USB or the cloud. If you have any extra time, please try to get me a 30 series RTX card because Best Buy loving sucks. I'm gonna go get some pizza. Uh, don't drink the Redbull on the table... no, it's not poisoned I'll just need it for lunch, thanks.
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Aug 30, 2021 00:56
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*creates a brilliant deathtrap where a pervert has to escape a room slowly filling with water by cutting off his penis with a provided knife and inserting it into a precisely-shaped hole in the ceiling and turning it like a key* *he cheeses it by taking a huge dump and filling the hole with his poo poo. The cheap sensor automatically opens the hatch and he climbs out* "gently caress!" William Bear fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Aug 30, 2021 |
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Aug 30, 2021 22:04
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"You've spent your life sitting on the couch, watching right wing TV, telling yourself that you're a pure American just fighting for his freedoms. Now you have Covid and you need to take this horse paste dewormer. You do that and I'm going to take pics and post them on your Facebook. Try not to poo poo out all your intestines at once."
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Aug 30, 2021 22:25
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Jessica DeAngelo, you have consistently invited your friends to escape room experiences only to quarterback the entire thing and never give any of your friends a chance to solve the puzzles without you getting annoyed and mean about how long they're taking. Now you must -- ok, that was the right combination but you weren't supposed -- stop it don't insert that battery into the blacklight! I'm not going to tell you the order of the code on the ceil -- oh God damnit you're already out.
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Aug 30, 2021 23:48
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Edward Weissmann, you have failed to do your part for the planet by refusing to rinse out the tins of food you feed your cats and just throwing them into the garbage instead of the recycling when you use them because it's too gross. Well, before you is a Chewy box containing sufficient meals for my 3 cats, Crabby, Diogenes, and Bumblebee for the next 12 days. You must feed, water, and clean the litter boxes of my fur babies until I return from Arub--uh... While I watch you on the cameras! If I judge you have done an acceptable job you will be allowed to leave.
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Aug 30, 2021 23:54
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Mark Johnson. You have again failed to be a better.... ....... ......... Oh poo poo man, the edibles just kicked in early. You just wanna watch some Rick and Morty or something instead of this?
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Aug 31, 2021 00:25
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Ew ew ew while I was preparing the rusty bear trap covered in poo poo I got POOP on my HANDS! Ew where’s the paper towels??
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Aug 31, 2021 00:42
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Oh no I dropped my crate full of tarantulas and they’re getting everywhere.
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Aug 31, 2021 00:43
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Edward Colton, you invite people into your home to see your model trains and participate in mutual masturbation. Afterwards you encourage people to stomp around on your train set like a monster and promise them imitation crab meat from your freezer. But you never once provided the imitation crab meat. Now you will have to make up for all those broken promises... Before you is a door and behind that door are tens of thousands of starving Christmas island crabs ready to devour anything they see. Past them is the key to the bomb-collar on your neck, bu- OH GODDAMNIT. The crabs all died. They're crabs, how did they die? Fuckin- don't, don't move. I'm coming down there. It's, just- hold on. If you hear the sounds of a gun being loaded that's perfect- shitwhereisit- perfectly normal and part of my very elaborate trap!
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Aug 31, 2021 01:17
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Peter Sampras, all your life you've been a tennis phenom. Now suck my dick. Suck it hard, suck it long.
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Aug 31, 2021 01:20
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You are safe inside that barrel for now, but when this wheel completes a full rotation, that barrel will tip over and you will have sixty seconds to race down these rickety stairs and slide down a tube to the base of a greased pole that you must climb and.....wait a minute....bathtub....descending cage......aw poo poo, I've copied Mousetrap. Ok, new plan: you will be dumped into a pit that you must climb out of within sixty seconds or you will be joined by four hippopotamuses, the most dangerous land animal on earth. These ones in particular are very ill-tempered, for I have not fed them in nearly-...dammit!
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Aug 31, 2021 01:29
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Whoops lit my fancy robe and pig mask on fire again trying to weld these drill bits to a hot dog roller.
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Aug 31, 2021 04:00
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I wa-- -o pl- a game. loving Skype, what now?
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Aug 31, 2021 04:11
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“So, WOPR, you’ve spent your entire life playing wargames…”
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Aug 31, 2021 04:55
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So, you turned in a Black child stealing a video game at walmart and got him killed. Wait, what do you mean you're glad? stop it holy gently caress you're an actual nazi *pulls trigger for game manually*
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Aug 31, 2021 05:41
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Jonathan Hess, would you like to glay a pame?
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Aug 31, 2021 05:47
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Hello, Micah. You commented on my post to tell me that I had a 'bad take'. I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to take your skin.
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Aug 31, 2021 05:56
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Applewhite posted:“So, WOPR, you’ve spent your entire life playing wargames…” "...by always playing against the local casual meta. You would bring armies made of expensive model and used NetListz while rules lawyering RAW vs RAI only when it benefited you. Now, it's time to see if you can make your ward save... Before you is a barrel of 10,000d6. One of those die contains the antidote for the very real neruotoxin I've injected you with...'
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Aug 31, 2021 06:02
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