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CPL593H posted:Imagine you're playing a game with thousands of unwritten rules no one has explained to you and the consequences of breaking those rules are social ostracization, ridicule, and generally being treated like you're an rear end in a top hat for existing. And then on top of that you don't know when you've even done anything wrong and are always confused at the varying levels of hostility you experience from all the people around you. And sometimes when they're aware you don't know how to play this game.
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Jun 19, 2022 03:46
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I get why people think "Pride" stuff is dumb or in cases of certain events/orgs harmful.. but there is genuine value in having our sense of who we are in the culture at large... "Rain Man" being the average person's conception of what an autistic person is like does nobody any good. I had no sense of what an autistic person was until I realized I was one, and it would have genuinely made a world of difference if I'd been able to learn that sense of self as a child. It sucks growing up hating parts of yourself as "defective" or "broken" and unlearning things certainly isn't any easier the older you get.
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Jun 19, 2022 04:02
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A Stupid Baby posted:I get why people think "Pride" stuff is dumb or in cases of certain events/orgs harmful.. but there is genuine value in having our sense of who we are in the culture at large... "Rain Man" being the average person's conception of what an autistic person is like does nobody any good. I had no sense of what an autistic person was until I realized I was one, and it would have genuinely made a world of difference if I'd been able to learn that sense of self as a child. It sucks growing up hating parts of yourself as "defective" or "broken" and unlearning things certainly isn't any easier the older you get. Yeah but on the other hand you dodged ABA. Times are still real loving dire for autism treatments but at least "just punish the child until they're quiet" isn't officially recommended as much anymore.
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Jun 19, 2022 04:30
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there's a two-year waiting list for assessment here lol People are so confusing. I don't struggle like some do in regular interaction but the minute social groups get even slightly complicated it's like everyone else is reading eighteen more layers than I am, and I never know until suddenly it blows up in my face because someone is super upset that I didn't say X thing correctly or that I said Y thing, which obviously meant I hate them and everyone else agrees that's what it meant, and like, what? what? since when?! I think it's different in women, how it expresses itself, but maybe not. I dunno I'm just tired of people.
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Jun 19, 2022 04:41
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hey just so you guys know I really struggle with social interactions, so I hope none of you thought I was being rude all those times I told you to suck my loving dick
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Jun 19, 2022 04:50
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CPL593H posted:Imagine you're playing a game with thousands of unwritten rules no one has explained to you and the consequences of breaking those rules are social ostracization, ridicule, and generally being treated like you're an rear end in a top hat for existing. And then on top of that you don't know when you've even done anything wrong and are always confused at the varying levels of hostility you experience from all the people around you. And sometimes when they're aware you don't know how to play this game. Man that hit hard to read 
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Jun 19, 2022 04:59
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I miss the days where you could just pound some weird nerd and push him into a locker, now you're beating up a neurodivergent guy with a social condition and that's just no fun
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Jun 19, 2022 05:01
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STABASS posted:hey just so you guys know I really struggle with social interactions, so I hope none of you thought I was being rude all those times I told you to suck my loving dick I can't tell from your intonation if you want your dick sucked ironically or unironically so I'm too embarrassed about potentially sucking it for the wrong reason. 
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Jun 19, 2022 05:02
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Bodyholes posted:Man that hit hard to read Remember, regarding this "game"- the rules are made up and the points don't matter 
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Jun 19, 2022 05:03
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Caesar Saladin posted:I miss the days where you could just be some weird nerd, now you're being a neurodivergent guy with a social condition and that's just no fun
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Jun 19, 2022 05:03
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STABASS posted:hey just so you guys know I really struggle with social interactions, so I hope none of you thought I was being rude all those times I told you to suck my loving dick No worries. How big is it?
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Jun 19, 2022 06:40
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I. M. Gei posted:
So not Autism Speaks, lol. A Stupid Baby posted:I get why people think "Pride" stuff is dumb or in cases of certain events/orgs harmful.. but there is genuine value in having our sense of who we are in the culture at large... "Rain Man" being the average person's conception of what an autistic person is like does nobody any good. I had no sense of what an autistic person was until I realized I was one, and it would have genuinely made a world of difference if I'd been able to learn that sense of self as a child. It sucks growing up hating parts of yourself as "defective" or "broken" and unlearning things certainly isn't any easier the older you get. I agree with this, and I certainly don't hide this aspect of myself. I just think a "pride day" is dumb and not really how I prefer to be visible something about it rubs me the wrong way. Aside from all the dumb co-opting by big business of LGBTQ Pride Month I like the idea behind it though I do find it exhausting and a bit condescending for that reason. They're both significant parts of my identity but there's only one I celebrate instead of just making it visible. endlessmonotony posted:Yeah but on the other hand you dodged ABA. Look up The Judge Rotenberg Center and Matthew Israel if you want to be extremely angry. Cliff notes:  They abuse autistic children as "treatment", most infamously with a device they have to wear that electrocutes them. People have been fighting them on this for decades and somehow it remains legal. The name of this place comes from a judge who was a big help in making all this possible. A friend of mine is a therapist who worked in a mental health clinic and when they'd get people from the JRC they had to outright be deprogrammed because of how they thought it was appropriate to deal with patients. She got one guy fired because he was screaming obscenities at a child and was about to punch him in the face. They straight up use techniques that most people would find unacceptable to train a dog. There's one famous piece of footage leaked from in there where a very young child was tied down to a board and repeatedly shocked while he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I do not recommend searching that out. Burt needless to say there are numerous horror stories coming out of there from former "patients".  STABASS posted:hey just so you guys know I really struggle with social interactions, so I hope none of you thought I was being rude all those times I told you to suck my loving dick PM me.
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Jun 19, 2022 06:54
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It was created by an autism advocacy group run by people with autism.
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I watched the accountant. It was a good movie but seemed like bullshit. What about deaf ppl that don't want their kids to have cochlear implants because they think it will harm their culture if their kids can hear? I hope that's very uncommon. What do you think?
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Jun 19, 2022 06:57
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This thread is quite interesting, sincere thank you to the posters with autism who are contributing. e: what's your opinion on modern positive reinforcement ABA and BCBA and stuff like that? Laopooh fucked around with this message at 07:37 on Jun 19, 2022 |
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Jun 19, 2022 07:32
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It’s not that bad having my brand of autism I just don’t talk to people outside of work and at work only discuss work related things so I don’t risk saying something dumb off the cuff. Bing bong simple
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Jun 19, 2022 07:59
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Laopooh posted:This thread is quite interesting, sincere thank you to the posters with autism who are contributing. Ban 'em. Imprison the people who ever used them, forever. No exceptions.
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Jun 19, 2022 08:07
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Laopooh posted:This thread is quite interesting, sincere thank you to the posters with autism who are contributing. I never knew about these things because all my therapists have sucked. My most recent seemed incredibly clueless about anything having to do with autism which was one of many reasons I decided to stop seeing him. I guess I should look into these things. Thanks for mentioning it. hatty posted:It’s not that bad having my brand of autism I just don’t talk to people outside of work and at work only discuss work related things so I don’t risk saying something dumb off the cuff. Bing bong simple lol, at the last place I worked a bunch of my coworkers got this brilliant idea that they should go to this nearby bar after work in Fridays and the drama got increasingly worse each week. People invited me a bunch of times and I was like "Definitely not.". So anyway one Monday when I came in there was an unusual amount of quiet and all these people giving one another these dirty stares. A few things happened from what people told me here and there. But I guess the worst of it is these two guys got into a huge argument because one of them is gay and the other is some kind of bible thumper. That was the end of the Friday get togethers. Imagine wanting to spend time with your loving coworkers outside of work.
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Jun 19, 2022 08:10
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CPL593H posted:I never knew about these things because all my therapists have sucked. My most recent seemed incredibly clueless about anything having to do with autism which was one of many reasons I decided to stop seeing him. I guess I should look into these things. Thanks for mentioning it. You should look into them. Then avoid them incredibly hard. Then call out anyone advocating for them.
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Jun 19, 2022 08:18
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You're not training a dog. You need to get through to the autistic kid and explain how they have to observe themselves and others to do anything useful. Modifying behavior the way those utter fuckers do is immoral, unethical, and useless.
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Jun 19, 2022 08:22
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CPL593H posted:lol, at the last place I worked a bunch of my coworkers got this brilliant idea that they should go to this nearby bar after work in Fridays and the drama got increasingly worse each week. People invited me a bunch of times and I was like "Definitely not.". So anyway one Monday when I came in there was an unusual amount of quiet and all these people giving one another these dirty stares. A few things happened from what people told me here and there. But I guess the worst of it is these two guys got into a huge argument because one of them is gay and the other is some kind of bible thumper. That was the end of the Friday get togethers. Imagine wanting to spend time with your loving coworkers outside of work. It’s strange, sometimes I can get a good flow going and people think I’m funny and charming but I have no idea what I do or how I’m funny. Maybe I’m only entertaining to drunk people?
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Jun 19, 2022 08:23
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hatty posted:It’s strange, sometimes I can get a good flow going and people think I’m funny and charming but I have no idea what I do or how I’m funny. Maybe I’m only entertaining to drunk people? Watch out that's how you get people brewing mead. And then turning into beekeepers to fuel their new addiction.
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Jun 19, 2022 08:24
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Wendigee posted:What about deaf ppl that don't want their kids to have cochlear implants because they think it will harm their culture if their kids can hear?  I AM SUMMONED This is in fact distressingly common, though in my (limited) experience it can also be that the parents want their child to make the decision for themselves rather than being implanted at a young age. Which turns into something of a Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't scenario; the earlier the child is implanted the more time their brain has to adapt to the audio signal, but toddlers and >5 year olds don't really understand what's going on enough to really make what you'd call an informed decision about it. Which isn't to say that there aren't capital-D Deaf types who rage against the very existence of cochlear implants, they absolutely are real, but I have no experience with them.
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Jun 19, 2022 08:44
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Or as I call it, "pride day"
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Jun 19, 2022 08:50
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Grr, any ABA mention still makes me angry. What a wretched group of monsters. And no, it's not better. They're still irredeemable, every last one defending that loving practice. No exceptions, no compromises. They're the bitcoiners of autism care. But it does highlight a very important related point. A lot of effort goes into preventing and interrupting autistic meltdowns. And that's always the wrong play. Trying to control autistic behavior, rather than teaching self-assessment skills, is doomed to fail due to the effects of alexithymia. Autistic people don't actually have worse emotional control, they have worse emotional awareness, and that does reflect in autistic people being unaware of their own body language and emotional state. Once you teach the emotional awareness skills, emotional management works as well as any other child, though adjusting the process for autistic children does take quite a lot of knowledge. Something related applies to autistic adults too. Being able to remember your meltdowns and the ridiculous rants it sometimes causes is extremely helpful. Analyzing what you're screaming about reveals the emotional state at play, and identifying that emotional state has been incredibly helpful for tracking what I'm actually upset about, and that way figure out what problems I need to solve. (But my brain injury makes that a bit more complicated because my brain sometimes just overwrites my emotional state due to my CSF balance. Yeah, turns out your brain going "WE DYING" really shits on your mood.) Ignoring meltdowns is like ignoring pain. Sometimes you need pharmaceutical tools, but you should absolutely know the source before that. And if things are changing, there's a source condition that's changing. Though there's a reason I yell "symptom journal" nearly as much as I yell "electric toothbrush".
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Jun 19, 2022 08:52
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hatty posted:It’s strange, sometimes I can get a good flow going and people think I’m funny and charming but I have no idea what I do or how I’m funny. Maybe I’m only entertaining to drunk people? Do you watch standup? Years of comedy central summer reruns taught me how to perform jokes. That's manual body language (hands and face for me), timing of the delivery, engaging the audience's attention, and tailoring details to the crowd. I gave an improvised speech about our D&D game at my friends' wedding and sold it by acting as normie whitebread and confident as possible. Putting myself out there reminded me that they'd helped out a neurodivergent neighbor by inviting him to our weekly game, and I segued the light anecdote into complimenting them on it. Used my outsider position as a neutral observer that can be trusted to see reality Even if you don't enjoy comedy, it's a practicable skill that could upgrade your general interaction outcomes with normies and help you discover what thoughts bring you happiness. The funny friend is allowed to be weird and say awkward things if they make people laugh. My ADHD meant I was going to be talking no matter what, so I learned how to deliver in a fun way That said, when you do lose control in an emotional emergency etc then these tools can sharpen your self-defense into retaliation. You can deeply insult someone quickly if you know how to deliver a dunk on them. Like learning martial arts and then picking a bar fight. I'm trying to ride out & repair a fuckup like that with a friend's partner who refused to stop criticizing me no matter how friendly I made the relationship. Can't ever measure up and it's always your fault for "not trying" or "not caring" or "ignoring" this thing out of our control
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Jun 19, 2022 09:04
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I was also drunkish when arguing, and I can heartedly recommend switching to pot over booze if you feel the need to get out of your head. Lots more joking and laughing, less anger and crying. The alcohol prevented me from disengaging, even when I had stopped talking to close my eyes and state that this was a terrible decision and I didn't want to fight. I still acted because it was emotionally satisfying, so thanks alcohol for the inhibition ...rear end in a top hat
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Jun 19, 2022 09:08
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I have never once in my life felt that my ASD was anything but a curse.
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Jun 19, 2022 09:09
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I. M. Gei posted:lol that some idiot decided to stick "autistic pride day" right in the middle of LGBTQ+ Pride Month cuz they couldn't be bothered to think of a better date for it Everyone on this forum is either autistic or lgbt so this should be something awful day too frankly.
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Jun 19, 2022 12:28
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'or'?
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Jun 19, 2022 12:35
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Every day i watch documentaries about trains, hoping the next one will be when i finally catch the tism. My shelves are full of books and in my basement i have a giant $50000 model railway that i built over the course of decades. Alas i have been living a lie this whole time
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Jun 19, 2022 12:51
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:Everyone on this forum is either autistic or lgbt so this should be something awful day too frankly. 
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Jun 19, 2022 14:05
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The Wicked ZOGA posted:'or'? I don't have ASD but I do feel extremely called out by that post. Time to be a cis straight person and become the exception.
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Jun 19, 2022 14:42
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Analytic Engine posted:Do you watch standup? It’s an embarrassing fact but to get through Middle and High School I watched a ton of Seinfeld, Andy Griffith, and Cheers and imitated some of the conversation flow and body languages to try to freeze up less during group projects and such and it kinda worked. It didn’t help me much for personal conversations but I got pretty good at bouncing off people in relaxed settings where I’m not the entire focus
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Jun 19, 2022 15:23
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don't forget all the "autistic people crave structure!"  poo poo, which for employers translates to "Hire them, and exploit the poo poo out of them even harder than neurotypicals because they either don't know they're being hosed over, can't fight back socially, or both"If you're a tryhard introvert, autism or no, in the eyes of a social predator you are basically a steak on legs. It really sucks that the skills needed to lobby and advocate for ourselves tend to be the ones we're not good at.
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Jun 19, 2022 15:45
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What if mdma was a treatment for autisms that would be tight
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Jun 19, 2022 16:56
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Ronwayne posted:don't forget all the "autistic people crave structure!" Proud to say I have been a total disappointment to everyone who has ever employed me 
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Jun 19, 2022 16:57
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SCheeseman posted:I have never once in my life felt that my ASD was anything but a curse. Are you good at video games, Math, programming, trivia, or anything else that normies have trouble? I am lucky to have natural potential at all of those, and years of hyperfocus built the skills. People give me some slack for my weirdness, but it doesn't prevent middle managers from trying to exploit me and certainly didn't save me when my ex-boss and once friend was angrily exhausted with my shortcomings. Dude did *not* want to meet me halfway or inspire any kind of motivation, it was 100% "demanding personal responsibility" and "frustration over my disobedience". Luckily I could see through his intelligent normie ego, deflect his hurtful words, and joke about his code and rear end in a top hat personality with someone in my field who couldn't put up with his bullshit for five weeks before quitting (1.5 years for me). I made her laugh because nobody would or could criticize him like me. lol I once suggested he be "more autistic" about his variable naming patterns; dude is sloppy in a way ASD can't ignore and boring to the extent that ADHD can't engage
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Jun 19, 2022 17:07
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Pride is still a sin OP
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Jun 19, 2022 17:14
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dr.acula posted:Pride is still a sin OP I learned that by watching Fullmetal Alchemist
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Jun 19, 2022 17:20
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My experience might be different because I barely even knew what "autism" was until my 30s when everything clicked and I got the diagnosis. I always thought I was just a weird sensitive nerdy kid, and anyway, life is probably this hard for everyone else. Right?
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Jun 19, 2022 17:23
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