|
More of this: Less of this: Colonel Cancer posted:Superheroes comics that aren't trying to be subversive are fash propaganda as a rule. satanic splash-back posted:Yes because advocating violence is good and cool and will definitely lead to good things. Yaldabaoth posted:The ironic thing is "Punching a dude" is the only way to deal with people like comic fans and publishers who want to impose their own sick sense of morality on the rest of the world, because their brains are so rotted by absolutism that they can't be reasoned with anymore.
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 00:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 15:21 |
|
|
what if batman smoked weed
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 02:08
|
|
|
Oh Don Piano posted:what if batman smoked weed
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 02:35
|
|
|
Oh Don Piano posted:what if batman smoked weed Kevin Smith made a whole career asking hard hitting questions like these
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 02:44
|
|
|
Honestly if Batman was a nutter using his vast fortune to focus solely on beating up criminals instead of actually improving the city, that would be all the explanation you need for why it's getting worse.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 02:46
|
|
|
Comics do seem to indicate that Bruce/Wayne Industries constantly dumps a bunch of money into helping Gotham outside of Batman stuff and it's still just inviting worse supervillains, corruption, and crime.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 02:54
|
|
|
Animal-Mother posted:"Batman solves Gotham's affordable housing crisis" wouldn't sell comics because the casuals would find it too weird and the nerds would complain it's woke comic-gate 2.0. And Hollywood would have no intention of optioning the story for a movie. Nah I disagree, in any setting with a Justice League batman always winds up going on adventures that have much more far reaching scope than simple crime fighting. Batman solving basic street crime in Gotham using smart philanthropy aligns perfectly well with him going on planetary-scale adventures and outwitting literal gods that want to destroy the world.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 03:04
|
|
|
JediTalentAgent posted:Comics do seem to indicate that Bruce/Wayne Industries constantly dumps a bunch of money into helping Gotham outside of Batman stuff and it's still just inviting worse supervillains, corruption, and crime. They should dial that back and turn Batman into a guy who lets the city rot because he's too busy punching a clown in the face.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 03:07
|
|
|
Alfred is embezzling money that he uses to just barely keep the city from plummeting into total chaos by funding a bare minimum of public services, then Bruce attends another GOP fundraiser where he demands that the mayor cut taxes
QuarkJets fucked around with this message at 05:15 on Sep 19, 2022 |
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 04:51
|
|
|
syntaxfunction posted:I should dress like a bat to punish these wrongdoers. I think it's the guy who dresses up like Robin Hood who's supposed to be punching right wing people. Or maybe he just says things like "I am very liberal in my politics!" while he punches the same people Batman punches (when Batman isn't using them). One of the two.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 05:15
|
|
|
I have an old Batman comic from the 90s where the city is slammed with super marijuana or something and at the end of the story Jim Gordon notes to Batman something like, "You know, other than shoplifting snacks and public intox and DUI stuff, and the hospitals getting slammed by people being paranoid and or falling over, it was pretty peaceful. Violent crimes and major thefts dropped to almost nothing. Makes you think that this stuff shouldn't be illegal, doesn't it..." Batman's totally like, "Nope, keep it illegal."
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 05:26
|
|
|
Batman Shat his own pants
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 07:31
|
|
|
Bruce Wayne refuses to get vaccinated. Constantly goes on Fox News and tells everyone his parents died from a shot. Gets banned from Twitter for spreading misinformation. Batman heavily promotes vaccination and vaccinates perps while they're unconscious, because he knows its the best way to protect himself and others. Also, it keeps people from figuring out he's secretly Bruce Wayne.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 08:25
|
|
|
Wrong. The reason the bottom part of Batman's mask is missing is so he can walk into private businesses and insist they can't kick him out because he's technically wearing a mask and knows ninjutsu.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 08:39
|
|
|
Bruce Wayne shows up on talk shows just to spread outlandish conspiracy theories about Batman. He also uses his appearances to suggest private Waynerock Security could do the job of Batman AND the police for a fraction of the cost either side is likely paying and get better results. Getting rid of the police and the Batman and allowing a private sector security to do the job will always be better, cheaper, and provide better accountability.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 08:50
|
|
|
Wait until the readers of the Daily Punctilio hear about this!
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 11:46
|
|
|
*wipes the grime and clown blood off* wait a second! That "t" is actually a "d"! It was Badman all along!
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 11:56
|
|
|
I just think he should stop loving Robin.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 12:51
|
|
|
an old co-worker friend and I came up with: "Commissioner Gordon who's too stupid to live and can't even say 'Batman' correctly" and "Always gruff voiced Batman who basically just says "Oh my God, Gordon!" in response to whatever stupid poo poo he's said/done" "Bratbat! Check it out!" *sleds directly into wall* Batman: "Oh my god Gordon!"
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 13:02
|
|
|
Batman's exactly as monomaniacally crazy as any of his regular villains, because the lovely city he lives in tends to gently caress people up like they're all Travis Bickle. Bruce is just one of the lucky ones where his mental illness manifests in a more socially acceptable way than "Gacy-esque murder clown." And he knows it, too. Why do you think he sends them all to Arkham instead of just vigilante-murdering them? He wants to believe there's some hope of recovery for them, and therefore himself. This also explains why he's always getting together with Catwoman, he knows he can never have a stable relationship with a normal person, and at this point he's just glad one of the costumed nutjobs he knows isn't murderer crazy for a change.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 15:27
|
|
|
Batman lynched a mentally challenged guy back in the 30s, and that's on top of all the manslaughters. He's got more manslaughters under his belt than Joker got boners, Gordon must be working overtime hushing them up.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 15:54
|
|
|
batman is an anagram of bantam. U ever think about that?
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 16:12
|
|
|
batman arrives on the scene of a dispute between rail workers and pinkertons that is starting to turn violent. who is batman going to side with? you know the answer and what it says about batman fans.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 16:15
|
|
|
The fact that Batman is a rich white man should be a red flag the size of an Imax screen before you even know anything else about him. It's also a miracle that Superman isn't a complete psycho too despite growing up in Kansas.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 16:18
|
|
|
Bad Purchase posted:batman arrives on the scene of a dispute between rail workers and pinkertons that is starting to turn violent. batan could solve homelessness in Gotham but he bought a bunch of stupid grappling hook-based gadgets instead
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 16:21
|
|
|
batman grew up with the same experiences as any POC, parentless orphan child
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 16:21
|
|
|
What is up with the spikes on his gloves? I watched a lot of Batman as a kid and it always seemed silly to have spikes, but never use them.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 21:29
|
|
|
Those aren't spikes, they're ingenious bat pussy repellents
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 22:08
|
|
|
i just realized that the op meant type "patents"
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 22:14
|
|
|
Brother Tadger posted:Kevin Smith made a whole career asking hard hitting questions like these 
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 23:36
|
|
|
Blartman: Begins. The story of how the mild mannered mall cop put on the mask and became the blart.
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 23:47
|
|
|
one of the more recent times DC was rebooted, it was cuz flash got drunk and ran faster than causality to go back in time and prevent his mother's death, which fucks everything up (including bruce and his mom being the ones killed in the alley and thomas wayne being a psychotic murderous batman as mentioned upthread). so flash fucks everything up again by going back in time and stopping himself from stopping his mother's murder, indirectly being the one to kill her batman doesn't have that kind of power. he did get flung back to caveman times and have to live as an immortal back until the present using some kind of magic space wheelchair, though, iirc
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2022 23:56
|
|
|
Rockman Reserve posted:one of the more recent times DC was rebooted, it was cuz flash got drunk and ran faster than causality to go back in time and prevent his mother's death, which fucks everything up (including bruce and his mom being the ones killed in the alley and thomas wayne being a psychotic murderous batman as mentioned upthread). so flash fucks everything up again by going back in time and stopping himself from stopping his mother's murder, indirectly being the one to kill her The whole thing was a set up to recreate that "Legends of Batman" toyline from the 90s but in a desperate attempt to make it more "mature" so the "normies" wouldn't laugh at it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 00:00
|
|
|
When everyone knows Batman isn't an urban legend, but some dude in a costume with high-tech gadgets, just sticking to that shtick seems kind of useless. "Ain't 'chu heard? They say that 'da Bat flies 'da streets at night! Ain't none of us safe!" "He's a guy. He's just somewhere between normal guy and a slasher movie boogieman. Just... How is it that social media isn't blowing up everytime his car is flying down the streets of this city!? There shouldn't be a way that someone isn't blasting his direction and location all over Twitter every single night so we know to scatter before he gets here. Speaking of which, how can his car drive on the streets of this city without stop and go and getting stuck in traffic?!" "Well, that Bruce Wayne guy, people say he's some rich selfish entitled rich white prick, but I dunno. Well, anyways, I think it's because he spent like millions of dollars improving the mass transit and the bicycle paths in the city. The Luthor News Network had a story about how Gotham is now the best bike and mass transit city in America, so the city actually has somethin' like only 25% of 'the motorized street traffic as comparable cities. That's an accomplishment, because the LNN ain't never givin' Gotham a good review on anything. They're always suckin' Metropolis' dick." "Gotham... City? This is a 'good place to live'? How? Have you been looking around at this place? It's not safe! I mean, look at us, for example: We're about to rob a bank at 2AM dressed as anime characters. We're as dangerous as it comes. It breeds psychos like us!" "Yeah, but durin' the day, the city's be-a-utiful. That's why I'm still here. That rich bastard paid a bunch of money to clean out the harbor, and the skies are pretty clear since we got less smog now. He even tore down all the old shopping malls to turn into affordable housing estates. I hear he's gonna be convertin' the old Gotham Motor Plant into, get this, a 'Gotham Hydroponics Plants Plant'. Lot's of jobs coming in thanks to this Wayne guy." "No, Bruce Wayne is the biggest crook of them all! He's going to profit off all that! Don't you see!? He's actually worse than the Batman who violates our civil rights because Batman's just a guy, but Bruce Wayne is a member of the establishment who will get rich off the average person! At least Batman is just some lunatic who gets his kicks beating up people because he thinks he's saving the world with two-fisted justice, he's no better than the criminals he fights, and I have to admit, I reluctantly respect him for that as a fellow criminal. It'd be hypocritical for me to begrudge him that when we ourselves parlay and socialize with pimps, whores, thieves, and murders without judging them. Bruce Wayne, however, is actively destroying the world through capitalism and hiding behind the illusion of grand works of benevolence and charity that ultimately will only enrich his own coffers!"
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 05:51
|
|
|
That's it! We must convince Batman to kill Bruce Wayne. Brilliant thinking, henchman
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 07:19
|
|
|
What if instead of killing his own parents batman was going to kill everyone else parents. But because he's batman, so no one could stop him. HE DID IT 35 MINUTES AGO! makes ya think. lol.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 07:49
|
|
|
Rockman Reserve posted:batman doesn't have that kind of power. he did get flung back to caveman times and have to live as an immortal back until the present using some kind of magic space wheelchair, though, iirc Crazy how relatable superhero comics can be.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 09:42
|
|
|
Why do the Justice League bring Batman along when they are fighting space gods? Do you you think Batman feels a little awkward in those situations? His whole shtick is punching muggers in the face. But all of his friends are doing this now, so he has to come along, do his best, and just hope that, next time, they'll be back to street crime, or will need someone human-level intimidated. Any time it all escalates to space gods and alien invasions, he just kind of has to tag along to fly the ship. Maybe he gets to have a punch up with some minor minion the other ones would've just slapped away while mowing down a dozen more, or maybe he gets to, uhhhh, survive and everyone will act like that's a shock. Even if we accept that he can beat absolutely any other superhero if you give him enough time to prepare and study them, the space gods aren't going to give him that time time. And he doesn't have anything in his utility belt to counter them, unless you count the thing he can use to call Superman. He's never the one who solves those situations.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 12:32
|
|
|
Do you think Batman has a contingency plan on how to shoot the parents of each justice league member?
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 12:35
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 15:21 |
|
|
Space god repellent spray is a thing you know
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2022 13:46
|
|