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facebook jihad posted:Gay Rock Goon: speaking as someone who likes the Rock and wants to at least give your story the potential of being true: I don't really see what the rock did to make you so angry at him. Yeah he probably threatened a lawsuit if your dad wanted to out him publicly, but that would be a real dick thing for your dad to do. Tbf their dad is really into dick things
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Oct 9, 2017 03:12
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Bobby Digital posted:Tbf their dad is really into dick things  Also, an ex-gf of mine went down on him once, so he isn't all the way gay, obviously. e: I realise that comes across like whoever has that standup bit about people like David Bowie and poo poo sleeping with dudes because they've already hosed all the females and now they're just conquering something else. Not the intention at all. This happened after an interview for a magazine, so I guess it would make for a really good beard for him? The Rabbi T. White fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Oct 9, 2017 |
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Oct 9, 2017 08:26
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The world makes a lot more sense when you accept the Kinsey Scale might explain a lot of things, and most of our categorisations of sexuality exist as conveniences without necessarily accurately reflecting reality.
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Oct 9, 2017 10:22
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to all those who confess, may god bless you, and take to heart your flourishing in the glorious horizon of his kingdom; inescapable duck etc
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Oct 9, 2017 10:57
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Hey, don't drag me into whatever the hell you're on about
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Oct 9, 2017 11:30
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Pick posted:gently caress off jon pop or whichever loving woman-hating rape lover you are. get bent. I honestly thought it was you, and someone had bought you a name change or something until I saw this reply to the post.
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Oct 9, 2017 12:46
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quote:For the past 15 years, I've been having an affair with my best friend's wife. They have three children and two of them I'm sure is mine and she agrees. She is really good in bed and probably the best sex I've ever had was when I was with her. Well, she is pregnant with another child and it is likely mine. The timing doesn't even come close to working because my best friend was on a business trip for several weeks when she would have conceived. Honestly dude if you've been at this for 15 years I think you kinda deserve whatever comes next  quote:I literally thought lowtax was going to draw us space ships. I would have donated the money anyways because I do love the forums, but I genuinely feel disappointed and a little cheated. Like, I understand the "lol Star Citizen is never going to deliver" parallel part of the joke and I didn't even expect it to be a good spaceship he spent more than 10 seconds on. It was just a simple thing. Wait he never drew the spaceships??? Yeah that's a rip
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Oct 9, 2017 13:29
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I will draw the spaceship for you anon guy
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Oct 9, 2017 13:57
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The law keeps most people from acting on their urges. If there was no system in place to enforce consequences (either by the government or other citizens), society would devolve and many people who in the current world would otherwise never think of robbing a bank or killing someone would do it. Not everyone, and I'd like to think I'd be among that group that wouldn't, but they would quickly be killed off by the people who wouldn't cling to their morals if there was no reason to.  Pedophiles, unlike buff dudes, are fearless, rugged individualists who have no fear of the lawWhat happens if you get a buff pedophile? blarzgh posted:I honestly thought it was you, and someone had bought you a name change or something until I saw this reply to the post. a shameful Pick.
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Oct 9, 2017 15:13
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Spaceship goon: When some of us saw Lowtax in Chicago and brought this up he said he would draw us a spaceship right then. No one had any writing utensils so someone found some dental floss (I don't know why we couldn't find a pencil but someone had dental floss on them) and he Piccassoed a spaceship on someone with the dental floss. When I'm not phone posting I'll post the pictures. Alternatively you can go to the last page here, https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3834939, and the pictures should be around.
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Oct 9, 2017 17:25
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limp_cheese posted:Spaceship goon: When some of us saw Lowtax in Chicago and brought this up he said he would draw us a spaceship right then. No one had any writing utensils so someone found some dental floss (I don't know why we couldn't find a pencil but someone had dental floss on them) and he Piccassoed a spaceship on someone with the dental floss. When I'm not phone posting I'll post the pictures. looks like a lot of fun man, cool
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Oct 9, 2017 18:57
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Just move in with the wife poo poo. Shes already good sexin, youre probably her kids dad. Take at least a little responsibility. hosed up to give him tapes though, its clear that this is what she wanted
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Oct 9, 2017 19:14
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loquacius posted:Honestly dude if you've been at this for 15 years I think you kinda deserve whatever comes next At least the sex was good, loser.
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Oct 9, 2017 19:29
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Jastiger posted:Just move in with the wife poo poo. Shes already good sexin, youre probably her kids dad. Take at least a little responsibility. hosed up to give him tapes though, its clear that this is what she wanted
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Oct 9, 2017 22:25
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Martman posted:but then the sex would be boring because he wouldn't be getting away with something bad Yeah the confessor is kind of a piece of poo poo and should probably seek Jesus
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Oct 9, 2017 22:33
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facebook jihad posted:Yeah the confessor is kind of a piece of poo poo and should probably seek Jesus Is jesus good in bed
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Oct 9, 2017 22:36
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got any sevens posted:Is jesus good in bed He aways has wine handy.
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Oct 9, 2017 22:48
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Not really, it takes him three days to rise
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Oct 9, 2017 22:56
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fruit on the bottom posted:Not really, it takes him three days to rise
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Oct 9, 2017 23:09
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He's got like five extra holes, if you're kinky.
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Oct 9, 2017 23:15
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But he's hung like this *holds arms straight out to either side*
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Oct 9, 2017 23:17
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I cant even come up with a funny name for 15 year goon, you are the true hero. You got another dude to pay to raise and pay for your children. Keep it up move to another neighborhood and start the cycle again. You can do it!
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Oct 9, 2017 23:56
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How do you continue to refer to someone as your 'Best Friend' when you are systematically addicted to disrespecting him, his marriage and your friendship? Ive definitely helped people ruin their relationships by cheating, but I've never acted like I was still their buddy afterwards.
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Oct 10, 2017 00:00
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Martman posted:but then the sex would be boring because he wouldn't be getting away with something bad I guess thats true.
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Oct 10, 2017 03:32
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Bust Rodd posted:How do you continue to refer to someone as your 'Best Friend' when you are systematically addicted to disrespecting him, his marriage and your friendship? Yeah that's the hosed up part for me. My best friend is like a brother to me, his girls have never and will never even register to me as anything but that, his girl, which automatically prevents any attraction. If you seriously even consider your best friend's wife a possible lay then there is something really wrong with you and your concept of friendship.
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Oct 10, 2017 06:45
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quote:When I was a teenager, I was an awkward goon, especially around girls. So my parents set me up on a date with my former babysitter. At the end of the date, she took me to her apartment and took my virginity. Turns out my parents paid her to do that. I was 17 and she was 23. When I confronted my parents, they got angry and told me that they didn't want their only son to be a loser and then they proceeded to box up my video games and threw them in the trash. They said I should be dating girls instead. The day I turned 18, I got the gently caress out of their and haven't talked to them since (I'm 33 now). The only reason why I thought of it now is that the babysitter was on my Facebook recommended list of people to add as a friend and saw that she has a normal middle class life with three children. My parents are both dead. I'm having some trouble with the idea that they thought you losing your virginity to someone your parents paid to do it is the kind of thing that would make you feel like less of a loser, but I guess some people are broken enough for that. Glad both you and she have moved on  quote:I'm close to 40, been working the same job for over 15 years in a small shop doing professional-type things. We're all a pretty close knit group with an age range of mid 20s-50s. We all have dinner a couple times a month, have drinks, know each other's families, etc. This has been a really good deal and I've been very happy there. Maybe you could talk to him yourself? like, you don't have to be too hostile or he'll just get spiteful, but you could probably suggest gently that maybe talking this much about your interests to people who do not share them is not socially the best idea (which is true)
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Oct 10, 2017 13:59
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That bombshell at the end of the first one though
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Oct 10, 2017 14:52
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First goon, while what they did was pretty gross/weird (also illegal), I don't see why that is "sever as soon as I'm 18" level. As hosed up as it was they were trying to help you, although if they had done the video game thing earlier maybe they wouldn't have had to pay someone to be your hooker. Second goon, he'll probably run out of stories eventually. If he starts recycling them just gently remind him he already told you that. Don't escalate things unless you want to risk your job for a chance at having more enjoyable conversations at work. The being around your kids comment is a pretty big overreaction too, depending on how you mean. If you mean you're worried they'll start watching the show - who cares? They are kids, they are the intended audience. If you are trying to imply he's a pedophile, that is pretty unwarranted though if the only concerning thing about him is what show he watches.
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Oct 10, 2017 14:56
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Just tell him you really don't care about Brony stuff and if he'd mind talking about anything else
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Oct 10, 2017 15:02
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loquacius posted:#JustBronyProblems We had a guy at our office who, thank god, wasn't into anything like My Little Pony, but had the same problem with fitting in. He could not compute that the circle of yes-persons he had delicately cultivated his entire life were not representative of the population at large, and that they were really just other socially-awkward stand-ins for his social pact of unconditional acceptance. Everyone thought he was annoying, everyone thought his hobbies and personal life were stupid and uninteresting, no one could stand him, but try as we might to explain it, it never got through to him - its like he was living in a space helmet where he could only hear himself talk, and the rest of the world sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. I'm loving blunt, ok? I did not mince words with this guy - "Dude, you need to listen to people, and reign in this weird behavior. Its not endearing, its annoying. You're not listening to what our bosses are telling you, you're just cherry-picking and twisting things so you hear what you want to hear." It never got through to him. Eventually you'll find out that Brony Man's failure to relate to people is not just a by-product of his stunted social skills, but in fact is a lack of ability to interact with the world at large. His work product and office complexion will suffer for it, he'll fail to take instruction and learn correctly, and he'll get canned.
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Oct 10, 2017 15:05
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second goon i'm with you on this obviously you guys would understand the details but sometimes being too accommodating of wacky others can sink the goddamn ship. There's no loving way I would hire a brony. I'll never have kids but I wouldn't want this kinda guy around them either. like is he a brony-brony, or just a brony? The fact he never shuts the gently caress up about it is a pretty big red flag for me. I mean, the whole goddamn thing is a red flag. It's a show for little kids. Apparently you have a semi professional job.
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Oct 10, 2017 15:05
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Imagine having "wants to bang a cartoon horse" as your dominant personality trait.
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Oct 10, 2017 15:20
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Fandoms are generally insufferable, but when they're going so far as to identify themselves to others in public by the name they've made up for themselves they're basically irredeemable like, there's "I watch Dr Who sometimes", that's bad enough, but then there's "I'd just like everyone at my new employee orientation to know that I am a Whovian and these are my favorite ships and I'd like everyone to know about some Internet drama I was in on the message-boards last night and here is a picture of me dressed up as the sixty-seventh Doctor in my living room" where you start to wonder whether you should call the dang cops (and Dr Who isn't even explicitly a children's show like MLP is)
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Oct 10, 2017 15:21
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loquacius posted:I'm having some trouble with the idea that they thought you losing your virginity to someone your parents paid to do it is the kind of thing that would make you feel like less of a loser, but I guess some people are broken enough for that. Glad both you and she have moved on
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Oct 10, 2017 15:32
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loquacius posted:Fandoms are generally insufferable, but when they're going so far as to identify themselves to others in public by the name they've made up for themselves they're basically irredeemable I remember seeing a grown-rear end man a few months back, dressed in a full Liverpool Football Club strip. The shirt, the shorts, even the knee-length socks, walking along the beach with his girlfriend/wife who was dressed like a non-brain damaged person. Replace 'Dr. Who' with a particular sport or sports team and you're pretty much into the same territory imo.
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Oct 10, 2017 15:40
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Imagine being from a country where soccer is considered a sport.
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Oct 10, 2017 15:48
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ALFbrot posted:So we get an update on the parents, and we get an update on the babysitter, but not an update on the confessor? Did throwing away the video games work? Did you plunge into a life of clunge? Its a better than zero chance that if he's posting anonymous confessions on this forum, things aren't going well.
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Oct 10, 2017 15:50
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Theophany posted:I remember seeing a grown-rear end man a few months back, dressed in a full Liverpool Football Club strip. The shirt, the shorts, even the knee-length socks, walking along the beach with his girlfriend/wife who was dressed like a non-brain damaged person. Same but Yankees uniform on a plane to Hawaii. It was their honeymoon apparently. Good job marrying a mental toddler
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Oct 10, 2017 15:51
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ALFbrot posted:So we get an update on the parents, and we get an update on the babysitter, but not an update on the confessor? Did throwing away the video games work? Did you plunge into a life of clunge? My question is did he kill his parents?
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Oct 10, 2017 16:27
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Why not bring the Brony stuff up to management? If you have and they don't see a problem with it, and everyone else doesn't have a problem with it, then maybe it's just something you're gonna have to deal with. And by "deal with" I mean just deal with him as little as possible and don't invite him out to after work stuff. It's OK for you not to like someone you work with.
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Oct 10, 2017 16:43
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