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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:What in the loving gently caress? You can use it to have sex with anyone you want. Starfleet probably considered all these problems, but decided fixing them would dampen the sex-having. This factor even overrode Barclay's fear of technology, which was so strong he wouldn't even use the transporter, which tried to murder people way less often.
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Jun 3, 2014 01:11
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Mister Adequate posted:It'd just be Duke Nukem turned up to 11. Guns, explosions, tits attached to utterly vapid and mindless babes. Civilization would be in trouble for a few weeks but then the women would get things organized and take charge and let us men just live in our ridiculous fantasy worlds while they got poo poo done. Just letting everyone know that this thread exists: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3514513. That's all.
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Jun 3, 2014 01:29
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Inspector Hound posted:You can use it to have sex with anyone you want. Starfleet probably considered all these problems, but decided fixing them would dampen the sex-having. This factor even overrode Barclay's fear of technology, which was so strong he wouldn't even use the transporter, which tried to murder people way less often. You could put in fully functional safety features, but the women would be 3% less attractive. I wonder what a bunch of engineers would pick.
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Jun 3, 2014 01:58
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:What's annoying is that all you should have to do is stop pumping antimatter. That's it. Stop pumping antimatter and there's no more reaction. The failure mode could be that your matter and anti-matter pumps have failed and won't stop pumping or you're getting too much anti-matter and containment is going to be overwhelmed. I would imagine pogo oscillations and turbopump cavitation with anti-matter would be a hilariously bad thing Pogo oscillation is one of my favorite terms because it sounds funny until it kills everyone
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Jun 3, 2014 02:05
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It's surprising that with the holodeck being as it is, none of the crew ever bothered to live out a fantasy of being able to use magic or superpowers. Not even in Star Trek do people regularly go around flaunting their flying abilities or flame powers like it's downtown Metropolis. Basically, what I'm saying is that if I had a holodeck I'd use it to play DCU Online.
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Jun 3, 2014 03:27
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I know that I've complained about the casting before, but Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ on a Jumped up Hay Chariot, what on earth made them think that they could cast Lt. Reginald "Broccoli" One Trick Pony on the Diverse and Whale Including Council of the Evil Delphic Expanse? 
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Jun 3, 2014 04:07
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Zesty Mordant posted:In the future, people are probably trying to get married to their weird porno fetish sims.  Oh, Geordi-san...
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Jun 3, 2014 05:11
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DrSunshine posted:It's surprising that with the holodeck being as it is, none of the crew ever bothered to live out a fantasy of being able to use magic or superpowers. Not even in Star Trek do people regularly go around flaunting their flying abilities or flame powers like it's downtown Metropolis. Yeah honestly I think the only real realistic use of the holodeck we saw was Bashir being James Bond.
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Jun 3, 2014 05:14
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Bicyclops posted:I know that I've complained about the casting before, but Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ on a Jumped up Hay Chariot, what on earth made them think that they could cast Lt. Reginald "Broccoli" One Trick Pony on the Diverse and Whale Including Council of the Evil Delphic Expanse? You have lost me, utterly and deeply.
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Jun 3, 2014 05:20
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:You have lost me, utterly and deeply. Yeah I don't even know what the gently caress.
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Jun 3, 2014 05:21
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MikeJF posted:Yeah honestly I think the only real realistic use of the holodeck we saw was Bashir being James Bond. O'Brien and Bashir in the Battle of Britain is pretty much what I'd do. See the problem is that people with holodecks have lame Federation outlooks on everything, so they're going to do lame stuff instead of role play as some sort of super-villain that makes Darkseid look like a pussy
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Jun 3, 2014 05:33
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Fister Roboto posted:
Leah Brahms-chan is so tsundere. Ugh, I feel dirty for having typed that.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:16
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It's implied pretty heavily that Quark's holosuites were mostly used for interactive porn. Including Rom having to clean them.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:20
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Considering that things in the holodeck are capable of physically interacting with things from outside the holodeck, why would anyone need to clean them? Couldn't you just have programs to clean the holodeck?
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Jun 3, 2014 07:26
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Considering that things in the holodeck are capable of physically interacting with things from outside the holodeck, why would anyone need to clean them? Couldn't you just have programs to clean the holodeck? That uses power, and power means latinum! Use your brother to clean up the Klingon jizz, that's much more economical.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:29
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DoctorWhat posted:Use your brother to clean up the Klingon jizz, that's much more economical. 270th Rule of Acquisition.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:37
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Immediately after the discussion of constant holodeck malfunctions that threaten to vaporize the user or misalign the deadly forcefields that give the holograms their illusion of mass and texture, everyone agrees that the most popular use of said device would be to interface one's tender, delicate sex organs with it. I arrived at the same conclusion.
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Jun 3, 2014 08:41
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Holograms will shred yo' genitals something fierce.
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Jun 3, 2014 09:24
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FuturePastNow posted:It's implied pretty heavily that Quark's holosuites were mostly used for interactive porn. Including Rom having to clean them. Implied? The first thing Zek did when he went to DS9 was use Quark's first-edition copy of Vulcan Love Slave. And then of course Enterprise had to ruin it by having T'Pol pretend to be a Vulcan love slave to the Ferengi.
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Jun 3, 2014 09:27
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Considering that things in the holodeck are capable of physically interacting with things from outside the holodeck, why would anyone need to clean them? Couldn't you just have programs to clean the holodeck? Vic Fontaine: Jizz Mopper. Sash! posted:O'Brien and Bashir in the Battle of Britain is pretty much what I'd do. Their Alamo simulation seemed pretty realistic too. It seems like the kind of ludicrous hardcore sim more than a few wargamer types would try to keep finding a way to win in some kind of more heroic JFK Reloaded of the future. I wonder how many unseen Federation FPS Holosims are about killing borg, the future version of endless desert warfare games. MikeJF posted:To be fair the only ship with a hosed up core ejector was the Enterprise-D. The Galaxy Class must have had a design flaw. The E and Voyager both popped theirs fine - like four times in Voyager's case. Other than frying Sisko out of time once, did the Defiant's warp core ever even screw up a single time? Every time it was in danger it seemed like it was the crew causing it on purpose as a self-destruct. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 09:49 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 09:38
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But as we saw with Neelix and his holographic lungs, they can just as easily replace organs as shred them! Of course, now I'm picturing this as a feature, not a bug. Pirate this holosuite program and the tolerances might be slightly off. Contact the official publisher's supportnet and they'll offer you a fully featured medical anatomy program, provided that your latinum can be verified via subspace credit check. Imagine that Bareil episode, except Rom's hacked-together system loses its connection to the DRM servers, and now it's a race against time where they try to find a program that they can afford with their awful Bajoran currency exchange rate. Bashir knows that cloned organs won't be ready quickly enough, so Sisko puts pressure on Quark by threatening to hand him over to the galactic copyright tribunal unless he sets things right.
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Jun 3, 2014 09:51
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Blazing Ownager posted:Vic Fontaine: Jizz Mopper. The guy who lived on the bottom of Voyager in Elite Force made his own Borg holodeck shoot-em-up if that's canon enough for you. I think the Defiant's engines got sabotaged a couple times but it never just broke.
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Jun 3, 2014 09:54
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I want to pretend that like in the real world, there's a few competing non-Holodeck/holosuite simulated reality environments. Not in Starfleet? No credits for even getting into a holodeck? There are still options. We've got a full body wetsuit you climb into like Lawnmower man that simulates the visual and tactile sensations of a holodeck experience. No credits for that? Well, we have a dream machine that puts you on a pre-programmed VR trip while you sleep, any sort of dream experience you want from the privacy of your home. No credits for that? Here's some dangerous brainwashing goggles we've totally hacked if you like puzzle games... Oh, something cheaper... Here's a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book.
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Jun 3, 2014 10:13
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JediTalentAgent posted:I want to pretend that like in the real world, there's a few competing non-Holodeck/holosuite simulated reality environments. Not in Starfleet? No credits for even getting into a holodeck? I'm surprised we never really saw a character that lives in a holodeck. I can think of literally no better apartment than that. I don't even mean some crazy simulation 24/7, I just mean.. what's the difference between a couch and a holocouch, except the holocouch you can move, replace, or change at a whim?
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Jun 3, 2014 10:20
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JediTalentAgent posted:I want to pretend that like in the real world, there's a few competing non-Holodeck/holosuite simulated reality environments. Not in Starfleet? No credits for even getting into a holodeck? They had a pre-programmed VR trip thingy on that one Starfleet ship Voyager ran into in the Delta Quadrant that was using aliens to power its warpdrive.. I can't remember the name of it right now.
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Jun 3, 2014 10:24
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Blazing Ownager posted:Their Alamo simulation seemed pretty realistic too. It seems like the kind of ludicrous hardcore sim more than a few wargamer types would try to keep finding a way to win in some kind of more heroic JFK Reloaded of the future. Not to mention Bashir's Battle of Thermopylae program. I'd run that program. Except I'd model it on 300. And I'd remove the persians. Okay we're back to holosex.
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Jun 3, 2014 10:26
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Blazing Ownager posted:I wonder how many unseen Federation FPS Holosims are about killing borg, the future version of endless desert warfare games. You just know there were like a billion bridge sims about "What if there was a Sovereign-class at the Battle of Wolf 359".
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Jun 3, 2014 11:17
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The hell with holodecks. There are REAL TOILETS and REAL BATHROOMS on Earth. And janitors have to clean those toilets/bathrooms each day. Federation janitors. Who clean up piss and poo poo for all of Earth. For FREE. To "better themselves and the human race". Somehow. Nice utopia, Roddenberry. 
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Jun 3, 2014 12:04
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MikeJF posted:Yeah honestly I think the only real realistic use of the holodeck we saw was Bashir being James Bond.
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Jun 3, 2014 12:31
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Crosscontaminant posted:The holodeck probably has limited capacity for giving you abilities you don't have. If you want it to simulate shooting gouts of flame from your fingertip, how do you indicate to the holodeck you want to use it without involuntarily toasting things when you just want to give someone directions to the cinema? Julian Bashir, Secret Agent worked precisely because he didn't have to pretend anything - he already HAD superhuman awareness, dexterity and reflexes. To be fair, though, for something like James Bond the holodeck can partially fake it for even a regular person by making your guns and champagne corks aim better and your flirts more effective and your enemies louder and deafer.
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Jun 3, 2014 12:42
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Gonz posted:The hell with holodecks. There are REAL TOILETS and REAL BATHROOMS on Earth. And janitors have to clean those toilets/bathrooms each day. Poop and piss are automatically transported into the sun. Then they transport a bit of the sun into the toilet for sanitation. DONE.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:30
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I've always assumed that there are lots of janitorbots that are programmed to never be seen by people.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:35
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Gonz posted:The hell with holodecks. There are REAL TOILETS and REAL BATHROOMS on Earth. And janitors have to clean those toilets/bathrooms each day. Well, if genetic engineering is outlawed, you gotta have something for Ricky, your simple-minded cousin, to do with his time. Can't bag groceries forever.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:43
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No, Star Trek is a humanocentric future where robots are strange and frightening things, unlike our current world where loving everything is automated and robots clean the floors of hospitals.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:44
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eriktown posted:You just know there were like a billion bridge sims about "What if there was a Sovereign-class at the Battle of Wolf 359". That was always the weird part about Picard's tension over letting kids on the bridge. Just hoke up a simulation of the bridge in the holodeck, let 'em run around in there all they want! Gau posted:No, Star Trek is a humanocentric future where robots are strange and frightening things, unlike our current world where loving everything is automated and robots clean the floors of hospitals. Robots would have looked like dogshit on television in the late 80s. For gently caress sake they couldn't even get a futuristic electric wheelchair right even after spending ten thousand dollars on it! The ~exo-comps~ were pretty drat hokey as-is. Also Riker says the ship cleans itself.
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Jun 3, 2014 16:01
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Who needs robotic cleaners when you can just transport the dirt away on a molecular level and re-constitute it into food or furniture or whatever?
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Jun 3, 2014 16:06
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:Robots would have looked like dogshit on television in the late 80s. For gently caress sake they couldn't even get a futuristic electric wheelchair right even after spending ten thousand dollars on it! The ~exo-comps~ were pretty drat hokey as-is. I dunno, I reckon they could've pulled off a prop Roomba in the 80s. quote:Also Riker says the ship cleans itself. But the ship cleaning itself would basically mean integrated robotics. MikeJF fucked around with this message at 16:23 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 16:06
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I'm reminded of the two janitors from Babylon 5, who don't even know what the hell their machinery does. Are they buffing the floor? Fixing microfractures in the structure? What the hell do these things do?
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Jun 3, 2014 16:08
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MikeJF posted:But the ship cleaning itself would basically mean integrated robotics. Well, the ship is basically one big robot... or a gigantic aggregation of smaller robots... 
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Jun 3, 2014 16:13
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:That was always the weird part about Picard's tension over letting kids on the bridge. Just hoke up a simulation of the bridge in the holodeck, let 'em run around in there all they want! Until the computer takes it literally and creates a working copy of the bridge in the holodeck. Since the holodeck is a simulation run inside the computer, any commands sent from that bridge get executed before commands from the actual bridge. So the kids end up blowing up the Enterprise because the computer is just as goony as data.
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Jun 3, 2014 16:26
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