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Captain Hygiene posted:But what else are you gonna hide all the extra money under until you clean it? Do NOT hide your dirty money under your products, or anywhere in the public part of your store. This is important.
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Oct 5, 2020 21:04
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BonHair posted:ITT goons suck at laundering money. I don't follow the logic. Mattresses are big ticket items that are hard to track past sale, but are still cheap enough to plausibly be bought with cash, and have huge profit margins at the high end.
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Oct 5, 2020 21:05
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I don't see how anyone would buy a mattress work cash, but I haven't used cash at all for at least a year, so... I guess the haggling could be used smartly if there's since slight fudging if receipts. Like giving a good price, but writing it up in the records as full price, with the difference made from dirty money. Eh, I'm not really good at this.
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Oct 5, 2020 21:12
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Ratoslov posted:please explain this, this sounds fascinating. Going off memory here, but from what I recall it's something like this. The inhabited parts of Finland are actually eastern Sweden. The forests and tundra that make up the rest of the land that we see on a map are actually the Arctic Ocean, which Japan and Russia use to conduct illegal whaling. This is also why the Finnish language sounds like a combination of Russian and Japanese.
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Oct 5, 2020 21:36
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I'd assumed the Mattress Firm thing was a joke due to (a) Them buying up every other mattress retailer in sight, (b) The sheer number of their stores (do you really need 3 separate stores at one intersection, as is present in my city) , and (c) The fact that people rarely actually need to buy a new mattress, so how are all those stores still paying concerns?
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Oct 5, 2020 21:50
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someone told me epstein did kill himself and now i believe the earth is flat
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Oct 5, 2020 23:06
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"Finland's not real" is just a 4chan shitpost
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Oct 5, 2020 23:19
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There's a 50/50 chance you don't exist.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:21
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Captain Hygiene posted:There's a 50/50 chance you don't exist. I keep talling that to myself every time I go to sleep yet I always wake up.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:23
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I met a Finnish person once, I conclude Finland does exist
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Oct 5, 2020 23:32
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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PittTheElder posted:I met a Finnish person once, I conclude Finland does exist You know you have to discard the outliers, don't you?
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Oct 5, 2020 23:34
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PittTheElder posted:I met a Finnish person once Or so you think
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Oct 5, 2020 23:49
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PittTheElder posted:I met a Finnish person once, I conclude Finland does exist Looks like this theory's......Finnished 
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Oct 5, 2020 23:59
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BonHair posted:ITT goons suck at laundering money. I know there's one theoretical group of money laundering businesses and that's Chinese restaurants. Dirty money is used to buy ingredients and supplies and pay rent while the gross from selling food is used partially to pay off the workers' labor (mainly Chinese immigrants who are paying off the cost to come to the US) with the rest going to the criminal org running it. This may be the case for some massage parlors and nail salons as well.
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Oct 6, 2020 00:03
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When I worked at a Collectable Card Shop we had one guy who would come in every few months, buy a couple hundred dollars in mid-value cards, then go down the street and sell them within a few days. Like a year after this started the cops showed up, looked at our tapes (it was 2004 so literal tapes, they couldn't see a loving thing) and told us to call them if he ever came back, because we had deposited CRIME DOLLARS at our bank and they thought he was using us to launder money. He never came in again, but if you gotta launder a few thousand real quick and you're okay with losing a few percent, collectible reselling is certainly a way to go. By the by, nobody smart is going to potentially incriminate themselves to explain to you how they launder money on this, a public forum on the internet. That's why the explanations you're getting here are armchair experts, anyone who has sat and thought out a money laundering scheme that would actually work was probably doing it for much more illegal reasons than posting on the internet, and they have their reasons but they'd really rather not share.
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Oct 6, 2020 01:08
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If y’all want real money laundering advice, try services/rentals, not products. A bowling alley, a car wash, a strip club, that kind of thing. There’s no inventory, people plausibly pay cash, and unless the feds are already watching you, how are they going to figure out that only a quarter of your cash receipts are from people who are actually bowling? Plus now you have a bowling alley to hang out at all day when you’re not doing crime.
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Oct 6, 2020 01:44
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Hurt Whitey Maybe posted:Plus now you have a bowling alley to hang out at all day when you’re not doing crime. Niko, my cousin.
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Oct 6, 2020 01:54
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Who wants a nice fresh version It's the same thing, just on this page and not something you have to go to Twitter for. Teriyaki Hairpiece has a new favorite as of 17:13 on Oct 6, 2020 |
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Oct 6, 2020 02:22
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I'm reminded of the scene from Office Space where they end up with a big chunk of stolen money that they can't do anything with, and they've heard that the bad guys will launder money to fix this problem, but they have no idea how to do that and they're finally reduced to looking up "money laundering" in an actual dictionary to try to figure out what exactly it even is.
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Oct 6, 2020 02:28
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Plastik posted:By the by, nobody smart is going to potentially incriminate themselves to explain to you how they launder money on this, a public forum on the internet. That's why the explanations you're getting here are armchair experts, anyone who has sat and thought out a money laundering scheme that would actually work was probably doing it for much more illegal reasons than posting on the internet, and they have their reasons but they'd really rather not share. That's true, but when someone is convicted for money laundering, the details of how they did it are part of the public record. Someone here could've studied how those schemes worked. And yeah, those are the ones who were caught, but some of them weren't caught for a while.
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Oct 6, 2020 02:34
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Here's an article about money laundering via restaurants with a case example of a sushi place in Mexico https://www.eater.com/2016/9/1/12533030/money-laundering-restaurant
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Oct 6, 2020 02:59
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Byzantine posted:Niko, my cousin. Username checks out.
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Oct 6, 2020 04:06
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The version I heard was using the electronic roulette terminals in betting shops, you put like £20 on both red and black, and you're almost guaranteed to win it back and now you have a receipt saying you won the money on the betting machine.
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Oct 6, 2020 05:55
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OwlFancier posted:The version I heard was using the electronic roulette terminals in betting shops, you put like £20 on both red and black, and you're almost guaranteed to win it back and now you have a receipt saying you won the money on the betting machine. It's very smart to go to a place the feds know is used for money laundering and has cameras everywhere to drop your marked bills. No back fire there.
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Oct 6, 2020 06:21
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I think it was more for like, if you're just selling small-ish amounts of drugs and want a plausible reason for why you're carrying a fair bit of cash. But not being a drugs haver I don't know the specifics.
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Oct 6, 2020 07:12
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Here all the money laundering is done in Suntan Salons, you don't have to record how many customers you have, no on cares what you charge and you have no product overheads. If you're cutting about Edinburgh and wonder why there are quite so many tanning salons that always seem to be empty, there you go.
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Oct 6, 2020 08:26
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It’s got to be awkward to walk into a salon expecting it to be a front for prostitution only to find it’s just a front for money laundering.
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Oct 6, 2020 08:40
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Crosspostingsebzilla posted:Please enjoy this extremely cursed image Fair warning the longer you look the worse it gets.
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Oct 6, 2020 08:43
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Platystemon posted:It’s got to be awkward to walk into a salon expecting it to be a front for prostitution only to find it’s just a front for money laundering. The saunas are the fronts for prostitution.
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Oct 6, 2020 08:48
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Someone once told me in Estonia the go-to money laundering scheme for Russian businesses is to own an Estonian construction company and use the Russian money to build things with it, so the country is now dotted with abandoned and out-of-place shopping malls. I also had a colleague who once worked at a 'university' that had about five students and was very obviously a Turkish money laundering scheme. The owners decided to build a Shisha bar next to it to... I guess launder more money in a different way, or maybe just make some regular profits with the spare real estate they had, which is kind of charmingly pragmatic.
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Oct 6, 2020 09:07
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OwlFancier posted:Crossposting I love the fact there is an area labeled "fascism", and the Nazi flag is at the opposite end of the chart. Spectacular.
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Oct 6, 2020 09:46
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Platystemon posted:It’s got to be awkward to walk into a salon expecting it to be a front for prostitution only to find it’s just a front for money laundering. Depends on who they hire. In my Chinese restaurant example (the money laundering part is from my dad who supposed it, but the labor involved is something I've read in articles), the people working there are largely illegal immigrants paying off debts so they're both money laundering fronts and part of a human trafficking network. Presumably it'd be the same for something like massage parlors. Casinos are the classic one as done by the mob in Vegas, but it's also good for single occurrence laundering as was done in the Philippines after a bunch of money was stolen from the Bangladesh Bank held by the US Federal Reserve and then wired to the Philippines where it was laundered in a casino as the country had no laws about tracking suspicious money in casinos there at the time https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangladesh_Bank_robbery https://www.aljazeera.com/program/101-east/2018/5/24/hacked-the-bangladesh-bank-heist/
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Oct 6, 2020 10:04
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Memento posted:"Finland's not real" is just a 4chan shitpost But how can the Finno-Korean hyper war be real if Finland isn't real??? This is the best conspiracy chart: 
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Oct 6, 2020 10:16
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OwlFancier posted:Crossposting A lot of this strongly suggests it was made by a "foreign policy blob" Democrat, (or, more likely, someone satirizing them) particularly the inclusion of brutal theocracies who happen to be staunch US allies in the "free democracies" section. Which makes it extremely surprising that Putin/Russia are on the correct side instead of being conflated with the USSR. Nazi Germany on the left isn't suprising at all, though. Theris has a new favorite as of 10:46 on Oct 6, 2020 |
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Oct 6, 2020 10:38
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Hobnob posted:(b) The sheer number of their stores (do you really need 3 separate stores at one intersection, as is present in my city) , and (c) The fact that people rarely actually need to buy a new mattress, so how are all those stores still paying concerns? ikanreed posted:It's very smart to go to a place the feds know is used for money laundering and has cameras everywhere to drop your marked bills. No back fire there. Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:It's the same thing, just on this page and not something you have to go to Twitter for.
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Oct 6, 2020 10:44
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SerialKilldeer posted:But how can the Finno-Korean hyper war be real if Finland isn't real??? There's one of these that has all sorts of insane bullshit and at the bottom in the most horrible tier there's an entry that just reads "GOLF RUMOURS". Like, what?
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Oct 6, 2020 11:07
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Seems to be a 4chan injoke, but there are several fake explanations out there. The other good iceberg chart:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hjRvZYkAgA
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Oct 6, 2020 11:44
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How is "cardioid", something that everyone who's ever used a microphone should know, like 4 layers down on the same level as a tetrablended quasitruncated tesseact lmao edit: i guess there's a joke answer on each level
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Oct 6, 2020 12:20
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Golf rumours (use caution) shows up on this one (level 9); 
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Oct 6, 2020 15:50
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that's just a list of scps
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Oct 6, 2020 16:03
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