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The loopholes people come up with to abide by the "rules" is just nuts, and kind of insulting to your "all knowing" god to think that you're pulling a fast one on him. At one point we looked in to offering some "Halal" investing options in our company 401k, and the vast majority of the funds are just hilariously usurious in many ways but they avoid technically paying "interest" and it's a captive audience I guess so they seem to persist. Guinness fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Feb 15, 2018 |
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Feb 15, 2018 21:59
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The term is Sophistry.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:01
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Islamic finance is working under the assumption that God is all knowing and all powerful, but not that good at basic math or logic. It just as ridiculous when Jews figure out some gadget to answer a phone on a Saturday or Christians only have anal before marriage.
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Feb 16, 2018 00:08
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Rules-lawyering God is a tradition that stretches back thousands of years
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Feb 16, 2018 00:18
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brugroffil posted:Rules-lawyering God is a tradition that stretches back thousands of years Yet the Bible specifically addresses white lies. Rules-lawying God reserves your place in hell (so you can have as much anal as you want).
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Feb 16, 2018 00:31
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Eh the idea of an all-powerful all-wise being whose mind and existence lie outside of space and time, who created the vast reaches of the universe in all its glorious complexity and all life on earth in its strange and beautiful and horrifying diversity, and who is in small-minded pettiness primarily concerned with what day you push an elevator button and which hole a penis goes in and when isn't any more absurd than proposing that same being could be tricked by automating an elevator or buying indulgences. You're already believing that God is obsessed with what side dishes you have with your meat, is it really any sillier to believe that God won't notice if you get up and walk to a different table to eat your ice cream and call it a different meal? You're already proposing a god who is fine with cheese and fine with burgers but gets His panties in a wad with a cheeseburger, He can't get any dumber, might as well make Him unobservant and easily duped too.
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Feb 16, 2018 00:33
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BWM: Don't piss off your banker. So I shut down one of my client's accounts today because he's a total rear end in a top hat. Totally ended his relationship with our firm and he walked out of my branch with a cashier's check for ~$200k and change with a confused look on his face like he couldn't believe someone would treat him like that. He's gonna get another fun surprise when he finds out the month we've been spending on a refi for his mortgage is now thrown in the garbage and he'll have to start over at another institution. Pro tip: Don't call a teller "that black bitch behind the glass" when you're pissed off that I won't commit fraud because you had people sign a document (who aren't even present) before you showed up for me to notarize. loving idiot.
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Feb 16, 2018 00:38
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How to draw money away from essential oils buyers
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Feb 16, 2018 00:52
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Solice Kirsk posted:BWM: Don't piss off your banker. That's some efficient service. When I got angry with my bank I demanded they close all my accounts and they wasted a lot of time doing it. Keep up the good work and hopefully your former customer fails to refinance their house.
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Feb 16, 2018 01:23
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Yeah, things move quickly when a bank isn't trying to keep your business. And he'll be just fine, unfortunately. I'm looking forward to reading the scathing complaint he's probably going to send. Gonna be my first!
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Feb 16, 2018 01:41
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MLMs are still the absolute worst. 
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Feb 16, 2018 02:17
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The local Klan probably has a credit union so there's probably refinancing available. You have a pretty solid response to the complaint, it's not like management can support racism without throwing themselves under the bus.
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Feb 16, 2018 02:19
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Youth Decay posted:MLMs are still the absolute worst. What are probationers
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Feb 16, 2018 02:27
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brugroffil posted:Rules-lawyering God is a tradition that stretches back thousands of years https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruv There is nothing the chosen people love more than feeling like they're tricking the Almighty
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Feb 16, 2018 02:33
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Drunk Tomato posted:What are probationers people for whom you are their probation officer
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Feb 16, 2018 02:33
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Oh my god can you imagine being required to buy and use essential oils as a condition of your probation? I bet if it hasn't happened yet it will soon.
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Feb 16, 2018 02:51
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Spokes posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruv It's actually a legit part of talmudic stuff tho Unlike in Christianity or Islam
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Feb 16, 2018 02:57
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bob dobbs is dead posted:It's actually a legit part of talmudic stuff tho Muslims have thier own system of rules lawyering and I don't see how it differs meaningfully from what Jews have going on. Christians have baaically thrown the rules out the window depending on denomination.
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Feb 16, 2018 03:34
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therobit posted:Muslims have thier own system of rules lawyering and I don't see how it differs meaningfully from what Jews have going on. Christians have baaically thrown the rules out the window depending on denomination. They do however have a very bad tendency to bring back old rules they threw out when it's convenient.
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Feb 16, 2018 04:03
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BattleMoose posted:They do however have a very bad tendency to bring back old rules they threw out when it's convenient. Said everyone ever, unfortunately.  When in doubt, assume everyone's going to hell and that they're acting accordingly.
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Feb 16, 2018 04:16
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Solice Kirsk posted:Schwab eh? Let's just say I've taken a call about the exact situation he's had for a financial institution and upon research, that was the answer.
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Feb 16, 2018 04:25
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http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/former-anz-boss-tracey-lee-cook-sentenced-over-300k-scam/news-story/b40a62ee77d472f77dace89dd7950ec6quote:On Thursday, a judge called her “greedy” and lashed her for taking advantage of her plum $200,000-a-year position. It heard her household brought in an annual income of $500,000. quote:A MOTHER-OF-TWO who used her plum job at ANZ bank — and her power over junior employees — to steal more than $300,000 cried in court as she was jailed. This is such a beautiful combination of being very BWL and BWM. Household income 500k+ so she steals 300k+ from her employer and gets jailed.
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Feb 16, 2018 05:28
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Solice Kirsk posted:BWM: Don't piss off your banker. Lol owned
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Feb 16, 2018 05:30
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Came across this in the schad thread and figured you'd get a kick out of it.
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Feb 16, 2018 05:32
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BattleMoose posted:http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/former-anz-boss-tracey-lee-cook-sentenced-over-300k-scam/news-story/b40a62ee77d472f77dace89dd7950ec6 It's no wonder the Federal Government has been forced to act to find out what's really going on in the Australian banking sector. I'm wondering if fraud will be uncovered in the New Zealand branches too. With a household income of $500k how could they not already be living an exceptional lifestyle. There's no good reason to put effort into stealing money with that pay.
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Feb 16, 2018 05:52
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Devian666 posted:It's no wonder the Federal Government has been forced to act to find out what's really going on in the Australian banking sector. I'm wondering if fraud will be uncovered in the New Zealand branches too. The really weird thing about money is you never have enough of it.
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Feb 16, 2018 06:00
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BattleMoose posted:http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/former-anz-boss-tracey-lee-cook-sentenced-over-300k-scam/news-story/b40a62ee77d472f77dace89dd7950ec6 I’m amazed they actually locked her up. In America we reserve prison for people who steal <10k or so.
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Feb 16, 2018 06:37
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The Butcher posted:I like how like half of these are targeted at the Chinese. Like any decent status-fearing Chinese person would get silver over gold.
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Feb 16, 2018 07:06
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BattleMoose posted:http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/former-anz-boss-tracey-lee-cook-sentenced-over-300k-scam/news-story/b40a62ee77d472f77dace89dd7950ec6 Eh, for 2 years in minimum security, I'd consider being "paid" $300,000 pretty reasonable.
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Feb 16, 2018 07:54
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Sic Semper Goon posted:Eh, for 2 years in minimum security, I'd consider being "paid" $300,000 pretty reasonable. australian minimum security and australian 300k, to be fair (i have no idea what the implications of either of those things are)
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Feb 16, 2018 08:10
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Spokes posted:australian minimum security and australian 300k, to be fair Absolute cakewalk, according to a criminal prick son of a former neighbour and definitely more than I could otherwise "earn" in two years.
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Feb 16, 2018 08:18
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I assume Australia has restitution.
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Feb 16, 2018 08:36
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Blinkman987 posted:I assume Australia has restitution. "Aww, jeez, mate, I spent it all on heroin, and there's no way I buried a sack of cash out in the bush." Seriously, a banker that doesn't know how to hide cash? Come off it. EDIT: In this case, I think it's likely that she stole the money to pay off her twenty maxed out credit cards, 125% mortgage, a fleet of SUVs purchased on credit and ways of over-extending credit and plainly wasting money that I can't even imagine. Sic Semper Goon fucked around with this message at 08:51 on Feb 16, 2018 |
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Feb 16, 2018 08:39
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VitalSigns posted:Eh the idea of an all-powerful all-wise being whose mind and existence lie outside of space and time, who created the vast reaches of the universe in all its glorious complexity and all life on earth in its strange and beautiful and horrifying diversity, and who is in small-minded pettiness primarily concerned with what day you push an elevator button and which hole a penis goes in and when isn't any more absurd than proposing that same being could be tricked by automating an elevator or buying indulgences. Obligatory: 
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Feb 16, 2018 08:59
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Sic Semper Goon posted:"Aww, jeez, mate, I spent it all on heroin, and there's no way I buried a sack of cash out in the bush." Courts can garnish your wages in the US.
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Feb 16, 2018 09:11
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Dillbag posted:Obligatory: Put another pic on the end that's "your mom"
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Feb 16, 2018 10:57
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Devian666 posted:It's no wonder the Federal Government has been forced to act to find out what's really going on in the Australian banking sector. I'm wondering if fraud will be uncovered in the New Zealand branches too.
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Feb 16, 2018 12:02
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Sic Semper Goon posted:Eh, for 2 years in minimum security, I'd consider being "paid" $300,000 pretty reasonable. White collar crime is never punished with hard time. The real punishment is restitution and her career is now wiped out. She couldn’t afford her lifestyle on a 200k salary and now she’ll be lucky to make 30k. Maybe her husband will support her now. Maybe she’ll get divorce papers delivered to her in prison. Her life is going to suck going forward.
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Feb 16, 2018 13:32
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Krispy Wafer posted:White collar crime is never punished with hard time. The real punishment is restitution and her career is now wiped out. She couldn’t afford her lifestyle on a 200k salary and now she’ll be lucky to make 30k. She'll be a financial analyst on Fox News before she's even out of her prison jump suit.
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Feb 16, 2018 13:49
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Blinkman987 posted:Courts can garnish your wages in the US. The great news is that after being convicted of embezzlement and/or other related felonies there's no way you will get a job where you'll make enough wages to garnish
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Feb 16, 2018 14:15
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