|
to actually ask a more thread relevant question that ties that in, try to edumacate myself more to you folks who are trans or participate in the community, would you consider a case like mine (where i'm definitely straight and 99.x% sure cisgendered male but think body hair is really disgusting) a gender... i was gonna say dysphoric but that's too strong a word... thing? 'cos in my mind that stops at pure personal grooming preference but now I'm sort of curious where the definition lies
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 22:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 11, 2024 16:04 |
|
|
Ciaphas posted:to actually ask a more thread relevant question that ties that in, try to edumacate myself more I'd call it a grooming preference probably. Plenty of men don't like having body hair. Only you can really know if it's actually linked to a distress at your physical gender vs just thinking hair is gross, but if I let a guy who had lasered all his hair off I'd just assume he was a lazy manscaper rather than gender queer.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 22:49
|
|
|
got me on the lazy part so yep that'll do  but thanks for clarifying. it doesn't cause me stress, it's just narsty.(edit) you're a fellow software dev iirc so you'll understand this: my creed is to be less lazy now so i can be way more lazy later Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Feb 12, 2018 |
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 22:53
|
|
|
Ciaphas posted:got me on the lazy part so yep that'll do Ya, that sounds like several guys who come into the electrolysis place I go to. You're better than that though since you've never complained that there are transgender people here. One time I was joking around with my electrologist about how she is basically doing ball torture and this guy heard it through the curtain and complained to his electrologist about it. He didn't realize she is also trans and she kicked him out and put him on a locally shared blacklist so no clinic will see him. Hair removal clinics generally try to be safe trans spaces because we're reliable long term customers and we're guaranteed to see treatment through to the end.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 22:59
|
|
|
Ciaphas posted:Yeah the tria instructions and internet advice seem to vary between waiting one week and waiting two, so I'm just checking if I have to shave every weekend and if I do, lasering afterward (my body hair is mostly slow to grow, except for my pectorals--grossssss) so essentially what they expect you to be doing is that you won't turn the power up all the way and you won't have methodically gone over the treatment area quite closely enough. as such, going over it more frequently then you'd do with a full power laser at a facility where the techs can ensure they treat the whole area makes sense, it is much more likely that you'll clear out each growth cycle as it's available to be treated, and after all you aren't paying per session so it doesn't matter that you're making the tradeoff to do treatment more frequently. and even if you do always use full power and do it very carefully, it's not like it's going to ruin or hurt anything if you go over areas "too often", so it makes sense to just adjust the instructions to attempt to cover typical use.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:06
|
|
|
what do trans men do to solve the opposite problem? i.e., what can someone do to grow a shitload of body hair?
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:11
|
|
|
Doesn't testosterone do that?
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:12
|
|
|
spankmeister posted:Doesn't testosterone do that? possibly! but i don't know this for sure. there seems to be a lot of variation in body hair among cis men. i'm not sure whether it just comes down to T-levels.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:16
|
|
|
spankmeister posted:Doesn't testosterone do that? Yes. Trans men literally just take testosterone and start winning basically. The complexity of treatment for trans women is specifically because testosterone is such potent poo poo that you have to fight the effects a million different ways.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:18
|
|
|
Helianthus Annuus posted:possibly! but i don't know this for sure. there seems to be a lot of variation in body hair among cis men. i'm not sure whether it just comes down to T-levels. It comes down to how much their body converts T into DHT and how sensitive they are to DHT basically. DHT also drives male pattern baldness. Which is to say it's basically down to genetics and you'll see similar variation among trans guys as with cis guys.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:20
|
|
|
i'm a very hairy cis man and my advice is to just not shave, I Guess. i know that stuff like using moisturizer is supposed to help the hair you have but i've never actually seen (or needed tbh) anything about how to get more bodyhair
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:22
|
|
|
same you always see body hair and baldness framed as problems to be fixed. (to be clear, it doesn't bother me at all what people have to say about it ITT.) but i'd love to meet someone who has the complete opposite attitude.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2018 23:32
|
|
|
are there trans men who specifically aim to achieve male-pattern baldness? it's distinctively male, sure, but i wouldn't say it's all that desirable like "oh man i really wish i had balls and also that when i get old they dangle down between my thighs"
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 03:12
|
|
|
Sagebrush posted:are there trans men who specifically aim to achieve male-pattern baldness? You're very confused if you think gender identity dysphoria is about trying to be desirable to some social standard. We all have our own self image to try to live up to. For some people being bald is probably the most comfortable thing for them, and matched their self image perfectly. And far as your last flippant remark, yes it is the goal of most people to age like people of their gender, and to have genitals that make them comfortable and look and feel natural. Please try to be more sensitive, that post isn't as funny as you think it is.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 03:39
|
|
|
I apologize. yes, obviously aging in the manner expected of one's gender, to the extent that the person wants to, is the goal.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 03:56
|
|
|
I think not aging or aging as slowly as is possible is the real goal.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 04:18
|
|
|
seriously, awesome cyborg bodies when, it's 2018 ffs
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 04:20
|
|
|
I'd prefer replaceable biological components, myself.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 04:29
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/AGhostlerer/status/962823123782586369
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 05:18
|
|
|
Sagebrush pmd me and made clear he saw the error of his ways. He is forgiven. I'll take this opportunity to remind straight/cis people itt that you should think before you joke. Ask yourself "who is the target of this joke? Does it trivialize the experience of queer people in some way?". Realize that you're going to see queer people joking about topics you shouldn't touch, because they are speaking from experience whereas you are a guest.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 05:21
|
|
|
Lol. Typical male to think women want bionic piston dicks and not humans who listen to and respect them. It's like the sex doll version of "well, if I got catcalled by women I'd like it".
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 05:24
|
|
|
Piston dicks AND programmed to respect you. :O
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 05:26
|
|
|
Synthbuttrange posted:Piston dicks AND programmed to respect you. :O OMG now we can finally start the matriarchy!
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 05:27
|
|
|
cis autodrag posted:Lol. Typical male to think women want bionic piston dicks and not humans who listen to and respect them.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 08:29
|
|
|
my now-sister came out to the family in a group text yesterday (none of us knew, though i had some idea). had a pretty stressful time waiting for my parents to figure out what to say in response, but in the end i think they're down with the whole concept. she explicitly said not to out her to any extended family members, so it's going to be pretty lovely having to deliberately misgender her each thanksgiving at my Ayn Rand-loving Fox News-watching grandparents house.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 10:51
|
|
|
CommunistPancake posted:my now-sister came out to the family in a group text yesterday (none of us knew, though i had some idea). had a pretty stressful time waiting for my parents to figure out what to say in response, but in the end i think they're down with the whole concept. she explicitly said not to out her to any extended family members, so it's going to be pretty lovely having to deliberately misgender her each thanksgiving at my Ayn Rand-loving Fox News-watching grandparents house. i think coördinating your own parallel thanksgiving celebration with real friends and no white nationalist family members would be a good thing to do for her
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 11:15
|
|
|
CommunistPancake posted:my now-sister came out to the family in a group text yesterday (none of us knew, though i had some idea). had a pretty stressful time waiting for my parents to figure out what to say in response, but in the end i think they're down with the whole concept. she explicitly said not to out her to any extended family members, so it's going to be pretty lovely having to deliberately misgender her each thanksgiving at my Ayn Rand-loving Fox News-watching grandparents house. there is no way to get around the name thing but if you absolutely have to go maybe using gender-neutral pronouns could go a long way to easing her stress? using things like "where are they at?" instead of the "where is she?" you want to use usually goes right over the head of other people.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 13:31
|
|
|
Helianthus Annuus posted:but i'd love to meet someone who has the complete opposite attitude. Hi there! Welcome to the bear community, where body hair is valorized. I don't have hardly any myself, just because I'm made that way, but I sure like it on other guys.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 13:35
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0AbrbD00pg
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 14:00
|
|
|
100% accurate
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 14:19
|
|
|
Shifty Pony posted:there is no way to get around the name thing but if you absolutely have to go maybe using gender-neutral pronouns could go a long way to easing her stress? using things like "where are they at?" instead of the "where is she?" you want to use usually goes right over the head of other people. or just discuss it with her beforehand in depth and do what she wants you to do so you don't put her on the spot in unexpected ways  im real fuckin' glad that we haven't seen my gun totin' trump-lovin' uncle's family since my wife started transitioning cuz he'd almost definitely make some interesting remarks about how she's suddenly visibly a cute girl
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 14:38
|
|
|
meanwhile my nearly-90 year old grandma dgaf and just thinks it's nice that i got married, thanks grandma 
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 14:40
|
|
|
ultravoices posted:100% accurate the bear puns (and also the fact that people take subcultural norms seriously) are the worst
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 15:45
|
|
|
ate all the Oreos posted:meanwhile my nearly-90 year old grandma dgaf and just thinks it's nice that i got married, thanks grandma
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 15:53
|
|
|
worst part of spiro is dehydration. and then I get dehydrated and lazy and groggy and too tired to go get water 👌
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 18:50
|
|
|
talking to surgery friend directly for the first time since the surgery (previously was talking to her husband). congratulated her on the new orifice, asked if everything's going good. recovery sucks and they put her on a bunch of medications that made her real sick but she had a positive spin of "well at least i now have a definite point i can say was the worst day of my life so now it's all uphill from here!"
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 18:55
|
|
|
ate all the Oreos posted:or just discuss it with her beforehand in depth and do what she wants you to do so you don't put her on the spot in unexpected ways oh yeah definitely, that "you" was meant as the whole family, including the sister. she definitely should be in charge and get absolute veto power over any plans, including going in the first place. sorry that I didn't make it clear thanksgiving is a long way off though, perhaps it is best not to worry about that for a while.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 19:22
|
|
|
You ever have a day where you just really need some external validation, but then get all squirrely because you can't ask for it, because then it doesn't count and so you just sort of exist and hope someone just randomly says "hey, you're a good person, and do good things"? ...Just me? Edit: just to note, I've got some good internal validation going, I just wanna hear someone else say it
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 20:41
|
|
|
Oh, you're definitely not alone there, friend. Do you have a pet?
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 20:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 11, 2024 16:04 |
|
|
No  I'd like to get a cat, but I really don't think it'd be a good idea for the cat.
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2018 20:49
|
|