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I legitmately thought you were trying to promote a lovely local-to-midwest pizza chain's rectangle pie as the wake-up call to PYF pizza argument deadlock. I don't even know anymore
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:51 |
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# ? Jun 13, 2024 04:51 |
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DekeThornton posted:When Italians stop living of benefits from us here in Northern Europe and learn how to run a functioning society I might start to pay attention to how they prepare warm sandwiches, until then they can gently caress right off. death .cab for qt posted:I legitmately thought you were trying to promote a lovely local-to-midwest pizza chain's rectangle pie as the wake-up call to PYF pizza argument deadlock.
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:57 |
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death .cab for qt posted:Alright fuckers, prepare your anuses. This is going to rock. Your. World. There isn't nearly enough fake cheese on that.
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# ? May 5, 2015 14:01 |
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When I go to our local pizza place that makes Official Italian Pizza I always order the pizza Margherita, one of the Approved Pizzas from the Pizza Rules so meticulously outlined upthread. But I ask them to add black olives, so I guess I'm a Pizza Criminal.
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# ? May 5, 2015 14:15 |
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Just gonna leave this here.
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# ? May 5, 2015 14:15 |
I was gonna say something about French Bread Pizza, but
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# ? May 5, 2015 14:58 |
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Data Graham posted:Sure, four cheese is fine, it's imaginative and takes some effort. But I just keep seeing guys in the office get a big floppy "plain" slice from the heatlamp shops and munch on it with a rapturous expression going "oh my god that's so fuckin good". This is Langos. It is just dough. This is just dough and tomato sauce. This is dough, tomato sauce and cheese.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:07 |
That's fine, but none of those are "pizza". I'm really the only person who is bothered by this, aren't I.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:12 |
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That last one is pizza though. It's the most basic form, just the base ingredients, I don't know why you have this weird hangup over it. Basic pizza can be good or bad. Crazy artisanal pizzas can be good or bad. Just because it's expensive and hip doesn't make it good, nor does being cheap and affordable. Jesus. ACES CURE PLANES has a new favorite as of 15:17 on May 5, 2015 |
# ? May 5, 2015 15:15 |
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GrandMaster posted:Yes there are, and they are there for good reason you damned heathens.. e: But I would destroy this greasy cheese wedge, too: Simply Simon posted:
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:15 |
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Data Graham posted:That's fine, but none of those are "pizza". If it really helps, I was at a fair the other day where every single stand had Langos, but only plain, fried dough. Not a single drop of sour cream or garlic topping or Nutella or whatever else you can put on those delicious things in sight. That was weird to me and I didn't get any, but until now I didn't go onto the internet to scream how every Austrian is a loving weirdo for liking their Langos plain.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:17 |
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:20 |
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Data Graham posted:That's fine, but none of those are "pizza". Sometimes you just crave the simple things, or nostalgic things, or plain bland-ish things. That giant floppy triangle looks super good to me right now, and I think I might get a NY slice for lunch!
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:23 |
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How to make a genuine New York pizza: http://www.varasanos.com/pizzarecipe.htmquote:On most ovens the electronics won't let you go above 500F, about 300 degrees short of what is needed. (Try baking cookies at 75 instead of 375 and see how it goes). The heat is needed to quickly char the crust before it has a chance to dry out and turn into a biscuit. At this temp the pizza takes 2 - 3 min to cook (a diff of only 25F can change the cook time by 50%). It is charred, yet soft. At 500F it takes 20 minutes to get only blond in color and any more time in the oven and it will dry out. I've cook good pizzas at temps under 725F, but never a great one. The cabinet of most ovens is obviously designed for serious heat because the cleaning cycle will top out at over 975 which is the max reading on my Raytec digital infrared thermometer. The outside of the cabinet doesn't even get up to 85F when the oven is at 800 inside. So I clipped off the lock using garden shears so I could run it on the cleaning cycle. I pushed a piece of aluminum foil into the door latch (the door light switch) so that electronics don't think I've broken some rule by opening the door when it thinks it's locked.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:44 |
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pookel posted:How to make a genuine New York pizza: Huh. And here I was thinking the secret was to dump a bunch of grease onto a store-brand thin crust pizza.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:47 |
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Hey, bub. This is the anti food porn thread. Get that smut out of here. beato posted:Just gonna leave this here. Now, that's more like it.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:57 |
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pookel posted:How to make a genuine New York pizza: http://www.varasanos.com/pizzarecipe.htm This works really well up until you open the oven door, accidentally get a drop of sauce on the glass, and shatter it. quote:I make sure that I cover any oven glass loosely with 2 layers of foil because it will shatter if a drop of sauce gets on it. With the foil it's fine. I make sure the foil is loose. If it's fitted to the glass, it will transfer heat too quickly and the glass is still in jeopardy. Another problem is that once the cleaning cycle starts, it just pumps heat into the oven and I can't reduce the temp. If I get a late start (my guests are late or my dough needs another 30 minutes to rise), I can't just shut off the oven and then start it up again in 15 minutes. Once I cancel the cleaning cycle, I can't start it up again until the oven cools below 500F (at least on my Kitchen Aid oven). Therefore I have to wait and cycle back around. It's like an hour ordeal. But I have worked around these issues and I now have enough experience that I can pretty much control my temperature. I can cool the stone, for example, by placing a metal sheet pan on it for a minute or so. It will absorb a tremendous amount of heat very quickly. I never do this with Teflon which releases unseen toxic chemicals over 600F. I Remove this pan with the peel, rather than with oven mitts to prevent burns. Occasionally I also place something in the door jam, like a meat mallet, for a few minutes to let heat out. I'm sure you can get really good thin-crust pizza doing this (and believe me, I love a good thin-crust pizza), but it doesn't seem worth the risk.
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# ? May 5, 2015 16:42 |
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Jesus Christ you pizza goons, just calmthefuckdown. My only contribution to pizzachat is that Chicago Deep Dish, while glorious, is not pizza. Chicago thin crust, however, is highly underrated and some of the best pizza I've ever had. The Anti-Food portion of this post: Probably qualifies as pizza, probably does not qualify as food.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:06 |
I thought bacon everything, Doritos, and Mtn Dew were all supposed to be jokes.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:14 |
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QuelleFuck posted:Probably qualifies as pizza, probably does not qualify as food. Little Caesar's square pizza is baked in a high-sided pan. They just put pieces of bacon between the pan and the dough before they bake it; it's really not the huge culinary abomination you think it is
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:16 |
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I sprinkle a bit of black lava salt on my pizza before I put on the sauce, how many metric Hitlers does that make me?
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:17 |
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Efexeye posted:Little Caesar's square pizza is baked in a high-sided pan. They just put pieces of bacon between the pan and the dough before they bake it; it's really not the huge culinary abomination you think it is I've eaten Little Caesars. I'm pretty sure most of their ingredients are classed as "[food] product" rather than actual food.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:20 |
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Shut up about pizza. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flurg%C3%B6nder
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:20 |
Decrepus posted:I thought bacon everything, Doritos, and Mtn Dew were all supposed to be jokes. Much like the people who consume those foods, they are jokes.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:20 |
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QuelleFuck posted:I've eaten Little Caesars. I'm pretty sure most of their ingredients are classed as "[food] product" rather than actual food. Yeah, well, you know, it's... chain pizza? That loving tuna fish monstrosity was waaaaay worse than LC's bacon wrapped hot and ready.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:22 |
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Data Graham posted:I mean geez, can I interest you in a peanut butter sandwich too? Hold the jelly, yes of course. You say this like as though a peanut-butter sandwich is a weird thing no one would eat.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:24 |
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Post Your Favorite (or Request) > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Shut up about pizza
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:26 |
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pookel posted:The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Post Your Favorite (or Request) > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Shut up about pizza Not an empty quote.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:32 |
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Zopotantor posted:Shut up about pizza. I read this whole thread and that is the worst plate of food I have ever seen.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:50 |
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Zopotantor posted:Shut up about pizza. That's broth of some sort and not water... right?
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:53 |
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AnonSpore posted:That's broth of some sort and not water... right? I can't make it out; there should normally not be any liquid, and the noodles should be mixed with breadcrumbs browned in butter. This one, well, it is the anti food-porn thread...
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# ? May 5, 2015 18:15 |
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DJ Fuckboy Supreme has a new favorite as of 19:13 on May 5, 2015 |
# ? May 5, 2015 19:11 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3c27ZyV_oI
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# ? May 5, 2015 19:27 |
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Funnel cake, whipped cream, some kind of jam? Would.
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# ? May 5, 2015 19:28 |
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pizza
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# ? May 5, 2015 19:30 |
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This would be even better if at the end of the montage the result was a perfect and appetizing dessert. Like this one from the 80s https://youtu.be/iiScW2cQT1M
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# ? May 5, 2015 20:06 |
I used to like HowTo Basic a lot, but then it kind of veered into "this is actually a fetish, isn't it" territory and got creepy.
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# ? May 5, 2015 20:29 |
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Chard posted:I used to like HowTo Basic a lot, but then it kind of veered into "this is actually a fetish, isn't it" territory and got creepy. Yeah. I liked it better when it was vaguely unsettling because he didn't talk and the violence was less predictable. Also, the jump cuts are new and disorienting, and not in a good way. I liked it better when it was less... produced. OH GOD. Am I a hipster now?
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# ? May 5, 2015 21:30 |
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In Rio the Janeiro I was served a chocolate and icecream pizza. It was good.
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# ? May 5, 2015 21:42 |
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# ? Jun 13, 2024 04:51 |
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Treatza Pizza ain't no new thang
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# ? May 5, 2015 21:50 |