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she didnt like jerking off? the heck is wrong with your ex
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Jul 22, 2016 19:05
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Zzulu posted:she didnt like jerking off? the heck is wrong with your ex For a long time no. But she was a scrub trying it au natural. One day I told her "go on Amazon and buy a Magic Wand" and I think I changed her life by doing so.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:07
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why jack off when she's got 3 guys waiting in the wings desperate to give her the d
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Jul 22, 2016 19:08
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Chomp8645 posted:For a long time no. But she was a scrub trying it au natural. One day I told her "go on Amazon and buy a Magic Wand" and I think I changed her life by doing so. I guess that's why she's your ex
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Jul 22, 2016 19:09
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The only sexual awakening in a woman a Goon can elicit is the discovery of satisfying self-love.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:09
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Gaunab posted:I guess that's why she's your ex No she's my ex because I broke up with her.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:10
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Gaunab posted:I [22M] have a feeling that my gf [27F] might be cheating on me. See you have to double down and say "I'd love to get to know and spend time with your family more! I can't wait to see them this weekend." Call bluffs every day
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Jul 22, 2016 19:10
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What a stupid goony power of wills. What a hill to die on. My girl with held sex and in that war of attrition, I won. What a victory goon.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:11
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Goons are renowned sexual camels.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:13
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Blacktoll posted:What a stupid goony power of wills. What a hill to die on. My girl with held sex and in that war of attrition, I won. It wasn't really like that. She saw the writing on the wall and gave up in like two days as soon as it was clear I had called her bluff and everything was back to normal.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:15
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Chomp, by no means feel the need to explain your hosed up relationship to me.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:17
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Blacktoll posted:Chomp, by no means feel the need to explain your hosed up relationship to me. Well that's an ex relationship like I said so I don't have much compunction talking abut it. Going on a date today with a girl who is obsessed with The Witcher franchise so if that leads to anything funny I will dutifully report.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:21
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Chomp8645 posted:Going on a date today with a girl who is obsessed with The Witcher franchise so if that leads to anything funny I will dutifully report. You can report it on reddit and if it's funny it will get posted here
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Jul 22, 2016 19:27
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I don't know how to use reddit the posting structure confuses me. It just looks like a collage of random posts lost in space and time.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:28
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Chomp8645 posted:Well that's an ex relationship like I said so I don't have much compunction talking abut it. You should just make rock solid eye contact in whatever place you end up going and say "your foul vagina witchcraft shall not hold sway over me sorceress" see that way you can incorporate some of your natural talent with something that she likes.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:29
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To prove your fortitude take deep, 8 second inhales of her and say that her essence has no effect on you but be sure to visibly quiver afterwards.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:37
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Hello everyone, I had a crush on this girl at work when I first saw her but then we became friends and we hang out we each other whenever possible, and she never declines any invitation (she is nice with everyone and she hangs out with a lot of people from work) so became best friends and she is now valuable to me that I put the idea of asking her out aside and threw any feelings that I had for her away. Last night we were in her place watching a game (she is a football fan) and during the break we were watching some videos on youtube and she was a little close to me that our arms touched, they are two normal things that can happen in this situation for me, it's either we keep touching as friends there is nothing to worry about, or she can move her arm normally and it's nothing, the problem is she thought that I wasn't paying attention to that and moved her arm slowly so I don't feel anything or even if I did I won't notice that she moved it. That made me so angry, given the fact that we consider ourselves friends. I wan't to know what does that mean, it might be nothing but still I can't stop thinking about it. tl;dr: me and my friend (ex-crush) were and her place watching some videos on youtube, our arm touched and she moved her arm i a slowly weird way, that made me angry and I don't know what to think.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:39
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Blacktoll posted:To prove your fortitude take deep, 8 second inhales of her and say that her essence has no effect on you but be sure to visibly quiver afterwards. this guy knows whats up.   
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Jul 22, 2016 19:39
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Hello everyone, lol she tolerates my presence and ive given up on trying to pursue her romantically because im a loser and when she doesnt reciprocate my hidden feelings i get ANGRY
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Jul 22, 2016 19:46
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That guy is going to silently pine for his colleague for a year and a half and then have a loving meltdown when she starts dating
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Jul 22, 2016 19:48
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That one is so juvenile that I have to imagine these "coworkers" are both like 16 and working retail or fast food.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:50
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Chomp8645 posted:That one is so juvenile that I have to imagine these "coworkers" are both like 16 and working retail or fast food.
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Jul 22, 2016 19:51
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I'm happy to post the titles upon request but it'd be good if they always included guesses like you have. You're in luck because this one is "My friend [27/F] did a weird thing to me [23M] when we were hanging out". 
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Jul 22, 2016 19:52
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tomstuart posted:lol The Incredible Skulk
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Jul 22, 2016 20:20
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Business Gorillas posted:The Incredible Skulk The Incredible Sulk
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Jul 22, 2016 20:23
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Hello everyone, This is kinda terrifying. Like, the sort of thing your stalker is replaying in his head to justify why he's coming through your window at 3 AM with a meat cleaver.
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Jul 22, 2016 20:31
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how hard is it to slowly move your arm as well to continue the arm contact until she accepts it or leaves? what the gently caress is wrong with people?
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Jul 22, 2016 20:47
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Gently move your arm over her throat and squeeze while placing your other over her mouth. If she can break free from your chokehold, it means she's not interested. Otherwise its fair game
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Jul 22, 2016 20:51
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dog buttz posted:how hard is it to slowly move your arm as well to continue the arm contact until she accepts it or leaves? what the gently caress is wrong with people? Can't this guy just ask her on a date or beat off in her shoes or something normal people do
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Jul 22, 2016 21:03
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Coming this summer - The Hand That Rocks the Cradle 2 My (28F) Colleague (18F) won't leave me alone and it's become too much. A couple of years ago one of my best friends (35F, we’ll call her Gemma) opened up a bakery. It took off pretty quickly and I (28F) started working for her part time (I was a SAHM beforehand). Soon after she needed to take on more staff and hired Heather (18F). I found out I was pregnant around this time and the plan was Heather would eventually take over my shifts. Heather seems nice enough, but young and a little annoying (though I was more sensitive to that since I was already pregnant and irritable). We got along fine in work but we weren’t about to be best friends outside of work or anything. She hadn’t known anyone pregnant before and was very forward in asking personal questions and being quite handsy with my bump. I should have been more clear I wasn’t comfortable with this from the start but I realised this was new to her and no hard meant by it so I let it slide. I also find out that her mum has been unwell and suffering from mental health problems. She had been sectioned just before she started working for my friend and had on going issues. Obviously this had been and was still very hard on Heather and her family, and having suffered with mental health problems myself, albeit much less severe, I know how difficult it can be. Again I cut her more slack than maybe I should have because of this. As my pregnancy goes on, she starts saying how excited she is for the baby, and buying little gifts like the odd sleepsuit. I told her that it’s very sweet, but she really didn't need to buy us anything (second child, we have plenty) but she doesn't stop. Bit by bit I find her behaviour a little odd, she keeps buying us more things, buying things for my toddler, texting me increasingly often and trying to invite herself round to my house. I figure she just wants to be friends but just going about it a little oddly. I gently make it clear I am tired, have a 2yo and I'm not about to invite her back for dinner after work. I also decide at this point to outright tell her to stop buying things. A few weeks later is my son's 3rd birthday and I was talking to Gemma in work that we we're going to get him a bike for his birthday and he's really excited. That evening I get a text from Heather saying she wants to get him a scooter for his birthday and sends me a link to one. I text back saying "please don't buy him a scooter, his main present is going to be a bike and you don't need to buy him anything at all" I get no reply, which is odd considering how text happy she is, but think no more about it. Then 2 days later she turns up at my house with the scooter with a balloon tied to it and hands it straight to my son. I can't exactly take it back off him and I was really angry she had ignored me. I told her not to do anything like that again and offered to pay for the scooter as I'm not comfortable with her spending so much money on my kids. A few weeks later I finish work before the baby comes and figured I won’t have to deal with her as much and things will fizzle out. However as soon as I finish I'm being bombarded with texts (around 10 a day) to which I'm replying to, at most, 1 or 2 if at all. She's asking to come round constantly and I keep making excuses why not. Eventually I give in to keep the peace and because I've run out of excuses and she turns up at my house with her new puppy?! She said she thought it would be nice for my son to play with him. I'm days off having a baby in the baking hot sun with a bloody puppy running around, eating my furniture and pissing in my house. I said soon after she arrived that I was going out so she couldn't stay long and she said that her dad had dropped her while he nipped to an appointment and would be back to pick her up in 20mins. He finally came back 3 hours later. 3 hours. She has her own car so I swear she'd planned it this way knowing all along she'd be here for hours. I was so cross after this I just stopped replying to her and a week later my baby was born so I forgot all about it. I let Gemma know straight away with her being my best friend but I didn't bother telling Heather. Gemma let her know at work a couple of days later and said that my husband and I will want some space for a couple of weeks. Heather said "it thought she'd had the baby, I drove past the other day and saw her husband's car was there". I live in a cul-de-sac! She said the first time she came to my house she had never been to our estate before so it’s not like she'd have been driving by for any reasons other than to come to my house. It didn’t feel right. Then despite Gemma saying to give us space, she ups her daily texts to 15-20 a day. I didn’t even reply for the first week but they didn’t slow. I sent her the odd short, polite reply in the next few weeks but they still kept up at the same amount. She has also started buying personalised gifts (blankets, clothes etc.) for both my kids so she can’t return them and I can’t really donate them either. She’s turned up uninvited, she’s left stuff on my doorstep. It’s just way too much. There’s more examples but this has already gotten too long I’ve found out her mum has been sectioned again so this may be why she’s reacting this way, and obviously I empathise with that, but it’s not on that its impacting my life so much. I don’t feel like I can go into work to visit my friends/colleagues with my baby because she’ll be there. I really don’t know what to do here because I don’t want to upset her in what is obviously a difficult time and I also definitely don’t want this to impact Gemma’s business, she does have to keep on working with her everyday after all.
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Jul 22, 2016 21:09
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It's really hard to tell if the person in that story is a mostly normal 18-20 year old girl who texts you a thousand times per day and she is overreacting or if she's an obsessive stalker.
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Jul 22, 2016 21:12
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Hello everyone, Haha yeah I remember 7th grade, man those were some confusing times-- Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I'm happy to post the titles upon request but it'd be good if they always included guesses like you have. You're in luck because this one is "My friend [27/F] did a weird thing to me [23M] when we were hanging out". 
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Jul 22, 2016 21:56
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Khorne posted:It's really hard to tell if the person in that story is a mostly normal 18-20 year old girl who texts you a thousand times per day and she is overreacting or if she's an obsessive stalker. It's such a boring non event story too. Honestly it reads like a ~pat-me-on-the-back I'm pregnant, and I'm so interesting I have a stalker~ story. I mean we've all been there, boring.
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Jul 22, 2016 22:20
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the arm toucher guy is legit the most frightening of those posts so far, as in not making me sad but afraid for that poor woman's actual life
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Jul 22, 2016 22:32
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some goon better watch out, his girlfriend is getting annoyed I [22F] do not share my boyfriend's [26M] interests and I'm tired of hearing about them all the time. quote:I feel like the biggest bitch ever and the worst girlfriend. My boyfriend Derrek is my best friend, but we don’t share all of the same interests. Granted, I don’t have many. I like to read, drink, work out from time to time, watch serial killer documentaries, and volunteer. He likes comic books, video games, and complex tabletop board games. He also watches a lot of YouTubers who play video and tabletop games. I’ve never been interested in video games aside from a select few as a kid growing up, and can’t get into comic books. I’ve never been particularly…smart, so I don’t play his tabletop games with him. I’ve tried in the past, but games are generally just so hard for me to understand and get the hang of that I get super self-conscious and have no fun at all.
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Jul 22, 2016 22:46
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going to post this one too since it's interesting I [32 M] think my wife [31 F] of 7 years, is cheating on me with my brother [28 M]. quote:I was with my wife 6 years before we got married in 2009. It was pretty cut and paste, we both had jobs, had our house, no kids, a couple of dogs, etc…nothing extraordinary, but we were happy regardless.
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Jul 22, 2016 22:49
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Gaunab posted:some goon better watch out, his girlfriend is getting annoyed Tell him to stop talking about his hobbies that you don't share a mutual interest in. How has he not picked up on his gf not liking this stuff and that he shouldn't be talking about it. God drat. And what's with all that dumb modern hippie "I feel unsupportive" garbage language in that post. Being not supportive is telling him to stop the hobby or shaming him for it. Telling him to stop talking about poo poo you don't care about constantly has nothing to do with being supportive or unsupportive. What is it with these posts and giant rants about an inability to set a simple boundary. I guess she'd be a jerk if she went into a rage at the slightest mention of the hobby if something actually interesting happened, like Jimmy got real mad and flipped a table, but it sounds like he's just talking to a girl shaped wall about nerd stuff and wasting both of their time. Khorne fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Jul 22, 2016 |
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Jul 22, 2016 23:02
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some of these people barely know eachother how did they even end up together? Did they trip over eachother and accidentally enter a relationship
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Jul 22, 2016 23:05
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There was some dark times in my youth, and I so desperately wanted a relationship to "balance" myself or some nonsense. I'm so loving grateful I was left single during it because I know for sure I would have been living through/posting a thread like one of those. Most of those threads make totally isolated depression look healthy in comparison to be honest.
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Jul 22, 2016 23:14
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darkhand posted:There was some dark times in my youth, and I so desperately wanted a relationship to "balance" myself or some nonsense. I'm so loving grateful I was left single during it because I know for sure I would have been living through/posting a thread like one of those. Most of those threads make totally isolated depression look healthy in comparison to be honest.
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Jul 23, 2016 00:06
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