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Sash! posted:*accidentally knocks over vial of Gay Bomb* Let's do this thing.
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# ? Jan 24, 2024 01:03 |
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# ? May 23, 2024 16:26 |
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Poque posted:Ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party, cuz a Liz Lemon party is MANDATORY. I love that petty smug face she makes at the end.
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# ? Jan 24, 2024 01:52 |
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Dr_Zombie_Love posted:Ooga booga big, Ooga booga strong, I’m gonna sing my Ooga Booga Song. We will build casinos on the moon!
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# ? Jan 24, 2024 16:08 |
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Yeah I know it's not a house but I live there!
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# ? Jan 24, 2024 17:42 |
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You’re gonna pour glue in the lock. That’s how my kids keep me out of the liquor cabinet.
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# ? Jan 24, 2024 23:44 |
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I'm suing Dodecacil. I'm suing you. I'm suing this baby.
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# ? Jan 26, 2024 22:39 |
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You can't sue me, I'm already being sued! Double Indemnity!
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# ? Jan 27, 2024 17:52 |
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May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and ...sleep crimes?
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# ? Jan 28, 2024 20:27 |
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I never sleep on planes. I don't wanna get "incepted."
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# ? Jan 29, 2024 02:25 |
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Picking a lock is just like riding a bike. They're both skills you need to escape the Atlanta Falcon's equipment room.
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# ? Jan 30, 2024 23:09 |
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Trying to steal candy from a vending machine? Let me show you how it's done. Cajun-style.
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# ? Jan 31, 2024 04:32 |
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Twitter today:
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# ? Jan 31, 2024 16:21 |
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Ms. Maroney, medically speaking: For your height, your weight puts you in what we call the "disgusting" range.
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# ? Jan 31, 2024 18:43 |
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How important is tooth retention?
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# ? Jan 31, 2024 18:58 |
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Poque posted:Twitter today: I found him on LinkedIn. He might as well be dead.
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# ? Jan 31, 2024 19:30 |
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The sight of these people, plus the crayons I ate earlier, make me sick.
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# ? Feb 1, 2024 00:02 |
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Oh boy, when did ol' Bob Dunston swallow all this change?!
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# ? Feb 1, 2024 00:16 |
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Are we paying the price for our hubris of science?
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# ? Feb 1, 2024 01:09 |
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'Look at my life, Jack. My father was a congressman. I was valedictorian at St. Andrew's, an olympic archer, fourth guitarist in Loverboy...as a teenager. It's almost unbelievable.' 'If it weren't all true, I'd say it doesn't even make sense.'
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# ? Feb 3, 2024 01:34 |
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Ongoing train wreck aside, I love this idea. It’s synergy.
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# ? Feb 3, 2024 03:37 |
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First of all, never bad-mouth synergy.
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# ? Feb 3, 2024 03:39 |
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This country's taken some hits lately. But when we get hit and are down, we don't stay down. We get up, and we hit back with our fists or our nunchakus. And then, when we're done hitting and we're tired, 'cause nunchaku-ing can wear a guy out, we sit down on a couch, an American couch...
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# ? Feb 3, 2024 16:21 |
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It's like I'm full of lightning!
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# ? Feb 3, 2024 18:12 |
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Fobby posted:It's like I'm full of lightning! What’s cocaine like?
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# ? Feb 5, 2024 15:04 |
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I did a lot of Coke during my Wall Street days
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# ? Feb 5, 2024 17:36 |
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who said i was immortal??
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# ? Feb 5, 2024 23:24 |
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I had dinner with Don Imus last night and he told the following joke:
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# ? Feb 6, 2024 17:10 |
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Arson Daily posted:who said i was immortal?? A friend of mine has been worried that they’ll be bringing in new page rules like age limits and age verification.
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# ? Feb 6, 2024 17:56 |
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I hope I photograph okay, because when I look into a mirror, there's just a white haze.
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# ? Feb 6, 2024 22:28 |
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Oh don't look at me like I'm a football game. When Tracy calls Betty White, she's reading Milton Greene's biography of Jimmy Carter.
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# ? Feb 8, 2024 06:41 |
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It's the yellow button, sweetie
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# ? Feb 8, 2024 06:43 |
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Isabella Rossellini was a guest job on Chopped and I kept waiting for her to tell a contestant that their cooking made her want to sit on a knife
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# ? Feb 8, 2024 06:49 |
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"I want back all the jewelry I ever bought you." "Fine." "I want the art supplies I gave you on your fortieth birthday and any subsequent art projects you made with them." "Fine." "I want all of our love letters." "Fine." "I want all of your parents' love letters." "Fine." "I want full stake in the Arby's franchise we bought outside of Telluride." "Oh, dammit Johnny, you know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar! Johnny, promise me you won't sell the Arby's." "I won't. I'm going to board it up, open all of the windows and let nature have at it."
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# ? Feb 8, 2024 06:54 |
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A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s
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# ? Feb 8, 2024 19:08 |
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"Crazyputty"?
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# ? Feb 8, 2024 21:21 |
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Food, drinks, fun - Staples! Yeah, we got that.
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# ? Feb 9, 2024 02:21 |
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potee, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... offputting.
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# ? Feb 9, 2024 07:47 |
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Daddy, can I have $50,000 to start a business where people can call in and get air quality reports from all across the United States? I'm gonna call it... American airlines.
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# ? Feb 9, 2024 22:18 |
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What are the Irish going to do about it? Write a long, meandering play about not overcoming adversity?
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# ? Feb 11, 2024 21:32 |
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# ? May 23, 2024 16:26 |
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Megan! Megan! Look at them spin around, they're so confused!
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# ? Feb 12, 2024 02:07 |