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Lemniscate Blue posted:+2 Flail of Mutually Assured Destruction I played a dwarf with a chain flail in an old D&D game, and I convinced the DM to let me add trophies of the enemies I killed to the flail. Our party killed a couple giant cobras and I added their teeth to the weapon, only to roll a critical failure on an attack and get the teeth stuck in my own face and die.
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Aug 17, 2023 16:47
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Soul Dentist posted:I played a dwarf with a chain flail in an old D&D game, and I convinced the DM to let me add trophies of the enemies I killed to the flail. Our party killed a couple giant cobras and I added their teeth to the weapon, only to roll a critical failure on an attack and get the teeth stuck in my own face and die. I like that you're taking responsibility for your death when the DM was clearly waiting for a chance to kill you.
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Aug 17, 2023 16:52
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Data Graham posted:Same and I've never seen any reason to think otherwise. I, too, have played the Crimson Court DLC for Darkest Dungeon.
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Aug 17, 2023 16:55
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"I attempt to parry with my screwdriver" "sure, roll a dex check"
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Aug 17, 2023 17:17
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Lobok posted:I like that you're taking responsibility for your death when the DM was clearly waiting for a chance to kill you. That's all DMs.
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Aug 17, 2023 17:18
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Lobok posted:I like that you're taking responsibility for your death when the DM was clearly waiting for a chance to kill you. Look, the point of D&D is to thwart the DM. If they're planning to kill my character, it's my duty to kill my character first.
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Aug 17, 2023 17:19
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The first vampire to explicitly have fangs was Varney the Vampire (published 1845-1847). Before that there is curiously little mention made to the teeth of vampires. No matter if they're literary, folkloric, and even in alleged real life cases. The original Balkan vampires more frequently fed through the chest than throat leaving blue marks rather than puncture or bite marks. This makes sense since it was a variation of the Mare/Old Hag( what we would now call Sleep Paralysis) as they'd sorta squat on their victim's chest as they slept. Albanian vampires were the exception as they were said to drink from the soles of their victim's feed. Likewise bats are not associated with vampires before the 19th century as the species wasn't described by any European source until 1810 and thus there wouldnt've been an association between bats and blood in the minds of eastern European peasants before that.  
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Aug 17, 2023 17:38
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I mean as far as I'm concerned,   
Data Graham has a new favorite as of 17:54 on Aug 17, 2023 |
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Aug 17, 2023 17:51
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FreudianSlippers posted:The first vampire to explicitly have fangs was Varney the Vampire (published 1845-1847). 
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Aug 17, 2023 17:53
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FreudianSlippers posted:The first vampire to explicitly have fangs was Varney the Vampire (published 1845-1847). Tarantino-rear end vampires smdh
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Aug 17, 2023 17:54
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The sheer variety of evil beings in folklore feeding on the living's vitality in some way is amazing, basically a story vampire can be absolutely anything. Which makes it sad how much of the literature is just fading photocopies of Nosferatu or Dracula.
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Aug 17, 2023 18:22
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dr_rat posted:in some vampire media the victims have a large chunk of the neck torn out, and there's plenty that have shown pretty bad scaring, so in those ones at least they fangs seem more of just an easy way to tear the neck so it just bleeds a lot. w EDIT: It was! It's not written very well, though. This could be multiple openings per fang! 
Metaline has a new favorite as of 18:40 on Aug 17, 2023 |
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Aug 17, 2023 18:33
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By popular demand posted:The sheer variety of evil beings in folklore feeding on the living's vitality in some way is amazing, basically a story vampire can be absolutely anything. I had as a kid a series of little booklets I got from a children's horror magazine I think and one was on vampires obviously. There was supposed to be one that was absolutely tiny and I think rode a cricket that burrowed into you
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Aug 17, 2023 18:35
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I like the old one where the lady is a completely ordinary human by day, as night falls she's a skull faced horror that ages people as she feeds. And the one where the vampire is some sort of artificial construct or cyborg that can only be discovered by certain types of light. both are short stories too, which means they don't drag.
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Aug 17, 2023 18:41
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Vampires aren't real so there's no reason why every vampire can't have straw teeth including the ones that rip your carotid apart entirely. Except Bunnicula. Bunnicula is real.
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Aug 17, 2023 18:42
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ARE YOU DENYING DUCKULA YOU HEATHAN
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Aug 17, 2023 18:46
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By popular demand posted:The sheer variety of evil beings in folklore feeding on the living's vitality in some way is amazing, basically a story vampire can be absolutely anything. Part of the Dracula mania is that Bram Stoker made a process error when submitting the US copyright to the book. He submitted the paperwork and ONE copy of the work, instead of the required TWO copies. It fell into public domain in the US almost immediately which made it a very attractive (read: cheap) subject for the early film industry.
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Aug 17, 2023 18:48
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This is amazing
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Aug 17, 2023 18:49
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canyoneer posted:Part of the Dracula mania is that Bram Stoker made a process error when submitting the US copyright to the book. He submitted the paperwork and ONE copy of the work, instead of the required TWO copies. It fell into public domain in the US almost immediately which made it a very attractive (read: cheap) subject for the early film industry. George Romero and co. made a similar mistake with Night Of The Living Dead which probably made it spread like wildfire.
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Aug 17, 2023 18:59
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Some pre-Dracula/Varney/Ruthven/Carmilla variations of vampires I remember reading about: -Flying boneless sack of blood. Spends the first period of its existence floating around houses while invisible causing objects to fall off shelves and things to go bump in the night. Doesn't become malignant until the latter stages of its brief undead existence. -A sort of shadow formed out of the blood of a murder victim. Stands locked in place in the exact spot the blood was spilled. Calls out the name of the killer in the night. Can only be killed with the same type of weapon as was used to kill the original victim. -Bulgarian vampire that loves wrestling. Usually created when a person just really doesn't want to die and is stubborn and willful enough for it to work. Sometimes said to eat poop when blood is in short supply. -Vampire pumpkins. They mostly just roll around and make strange sounds and can't really harm anyone. Probably not good to eat.
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Aug 17, 2023 19:02
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Re: vamp chat https://plus.maths.org/sites/plus.maths.org/files/articles/2010/grime/circle_3.png E: me too dumb to image leech The Killing Jelq has a new favorite as of 19:44 on Aug 17, 2023 |
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Aug 17, 2023 19:42
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blah. blah blah
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Aug 17, 2023 20:13
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Data Graham posted:I mean as far as I'm concerned, Glad I wasn't the only one that immediately thought of this comic
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Aug 17, 2023 20:18
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Blue Footed Booby posted:Why do vampire bats? To punch the hole they lap the blood out of! If clitorises are for show how come I've never seen one?
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Aug 17, 2023 20:28
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Inceltown posted:If clitorises are for show how come I've never seen one? They automatically retract when dangerous perverts are about.
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Aug 17, 2023 20:29
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Aug 17, 2023 20:31
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Blue Footed Booby posted:They automatically retract when dangerous perverts are about. any particular reason why you're calling this goon a dangerous pervert
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Aug 17, 2023 20:56
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TSR once wrote an article on different vampire types for an article in Dragon Magazine, and the only one I remember is one that used their fingernails to slice open their victim.
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Aug 17, 2023 21:15
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Metaline posted:I read a vampire novel like the tweet in which the vampires' fangs are hollow and they use them as straws. It is was absolutely ridiculous. I think it lol vampires with hollow bones. It would explain how they could fly, but also it would mean they would break their bones all the drat time! 90% of the time a vampire chased you it would be on crutches. People would only get bitten by vampires because they intentionally let themselves get bit because they feel sorry for them.
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Aug 17, 2023 21:33
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Their primary source of nutrition would be inattentive rehab nurses.
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Aug 17, 2023 21:35
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I like that old bit about Vampires that if one chases you, you have to spill some rice on the floor and the vampire is compelled to stop and count every rice corn.
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Aug 17, 2023 21:43
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Grendels Dad posted:I like that old bit about Vampires that if one chases you, you have to spill some rice on the floor and the vampire is compelled to stop and count every rice corn. That's ridiculous. No vampire would be compelled to count these estimated 664,723 grains of rice you have so haphazardly strewn about the floor! Now if you'll excuse me I want to check if my estimation is correct. One, two, three, four.... BigHead has a new favorite as of 21:57 on Aug 17, 2023 |
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Aug 17, 2023 21:49
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BigHead posted:That's ridiculous. No vampire would be compelled to count these estimated 664,723 grains of rice you have so haphazardly strewn about the floor! That's slightly less than 2 cubic feet of rice. A hell of a lot to spill!
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Aug 17, 2023 21:52
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Grendels Dad posted:I like that old bit about Vampires that if one chases you, you have to spill some rice on the floor and the vampire is compelled to stop and count every rice corn. Actually that is about people with OCD. It's an easy mistake, though. In similar vein, in Finnish folklore werewolves are people who have suffered of hunger for a long time. They will then appear outside your house and the way to cure them is to throw a piece of bread from your window.
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Aug 17, 2023 21:55
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Grendels Dad posted:I like that old bit about Vampires that if one chases you, you have to spill some rice on the floor and the vampire is compelled to stop and count every rice corn. I think you're confusing vampires with Dustin Hoffman. An easy mistake, many people make it.
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Aug 17, 2023 21:56
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What do you do if two Dustin Hoffmanns are chasing you at the same time then smart guy
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Aug 17, 2023 21:57
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You play Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium on your phone, and they will both curl up and die from the shame of it.
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Aug 17, 2023 22:01
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:any particular reason why you're calling this goon a dangerous pervert fun
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Aug 17, 2023 22:08
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Kheldarn posted:TSR once wrote an article on different vampire types for an article in Dragon Magazine, and the only one I remember is one that used their fingernails to slice open their victim. 
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Aug 17, 2023 22:15
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Scratch Monkey posted:blah. blah blah bout to feed a man for a day
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Aug 17, 2023 22:34
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