Vaping MEGATHREAD - old man yells at icloud - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Vaping MEGATHREAD - old man yells at icloud

«‹›773 »

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

you mean "steve, extremely"

# ? Aug 23, 2016 16:50

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# ? May 24, 2024 02:39

Jenny Agutter: Mar 18, 2009

Ghost Farts posted:

How long will it take for The Verge to like dongle? 2 days
Will dongle be a success? Yes
Total Apple dongle sales: 500 bn USD
Total Samsung dongle phones over the next two years: 3000
Total deaths of people who starved while waiting for the new iPhone 7 Plus Pro: 15 dead
Will this cause waiting Apple users to leave the lines? No
Will dongle come in rosegold? No
Will Apple introduce a dongle to attach two dongles to one dongle?: Yes
Will Apple introduce dongle as "incredible, awesome, amazing"? Yes
Will the media refer to the introduction of dongle as "donglegate"? No
-If yes; will Apple retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Tim sacrifice Jonny (make him introduce dongle/move him to sales)? No
Will LG subsequently introduce a donglephone that supports 8 dongles simultaneously? Yes
Will Google do anything silly like try for modular dongles? Yes
Will a fake dongle cause a series of fires? Yes
How long will the dongle trend persist? ~15 years
Will Steve Jobs rise from the dead to prevent dongle?No
In the long run, will dongle be good or bad for the world? Good

We have to look at what those user casualties are- just because they're likely doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities:

1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a truck while fiddling for dongle.

2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house catches fire due to a fake dongle.

OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since Apple doesn't make a habit of targetting poors who walk or buy fake accessories, they're very small in number!

3) An Android user working at a hackerspace gets electrocuted when he plugs a dongle into an electrical outlet.

4) A Chinese preparing a shipment of fake dongles sold on Aliexpress is killed when the shipment explodes.

5) A non-certified tech repairing an iPhone 7 Pro Plus is killed when a dongle shorts.

6) A YouTuber bleeds to death from a paper cut while unboxing dongle.

7) A techbro chokes to death on a dongle that fell into his Soylent without him noticing.

etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of dipshit poors and idiots supporting non-Apple approved solutions that aren't exactly "innocent" and whose death would rightly please Apple. I'm an Apple user who jailbroke his iPhone and work for a ridesharing but for goldfishes startup, but I acknowledge I'm also a tremendous idiot hellfucker because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of user casualties will not be innocent.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:01

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

hobbesmaster posted:

apple is releasing 3 new phones?! lets randomly speculate instead of thinking it might be:
iphone 7se
iphone 7
iphone 7plus

iphone 7
iphone 7+
Iphone 7 pro with apple ipencil

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:13

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

donglehouse

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:19

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

will the apple ipencil iphone edition require its own dongle or will it be a dongle itself?

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:20

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

the Apple pencil will charge from the bottom of the phone and while it's plugged in you will be able to use it as a selfie stick

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:23

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

truly amazing. incredible.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:24

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

e: wrong thread, oops

# ? Aug 23, 2016 17:26

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

but the charging port will be on the side of the pencil so it'll stick out at a weird angle

they'll call it a feature. 'now it stands up so you can consume video content'

# ? Aug 23, 2016 18:06

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

why don't they make the whole phone out of the dongle? :jerry:

# ? Aug 23, 2016 18:18

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

flakeloaf posted:

but the charging port will be on the side of the pencil so it'll stick out at a weird angle

they'll call it a feature. 'now it stands up so you can consume video content'

Lol. "Consume content"

# ? Aug 23, 2016 18:19

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

Ghost Farts posted:

How long will it take for The Verge to like dongle? 2 days
Will dongle be a success? Yes
Total Apple dongle sales: 500 bn USD
Total Samsung dongle phones over the next two years: 3000
Total deaths of people who starved while waiting for the new iPhone 7 Plus Pro: 15 dead
Will this cause waiting Apple users to leave the lines? No
Will dongle come in rosegold? No
Will Apple introduce a dongle to attach two dongles to one dongle?: Yes
Will Apple introduce dongle as "incredible, awesome, amazing"? Yes
Will the media refer to the introduction of dongle as "donglegate"? No
-If yes; will Apple retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Tim sacrifice Jonny (make him introduce dongle/move him to sales)? No
Will LG subsequently introduce a donglephone that supports 8 dongles simultaneously? Yes
Will Google do anything silly like try for modular dongles? Yes
Will a fake dongle cause a series of fires? Yes
How long will the dongle trend persist? ~15 years
Will Steve Jobs rise from the dead to prevent dongle?No
In the long run, will dongle be good or bad for the world? Good

We have to look at what those user casualties are- just because they're likely doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities:

1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a truck while fiddling for dongle.

2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house catches fire due to a fake dongle.

OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since Apple doesn't make a habit of targetting poors who walk or buy fake accessories, they're very small in number!

3) An Android user working at a hackerspace gets electrocuted when he plugs a dongle into an electrical outlet.

4) A Chinese preparing a shipment of fake dongles sold on Aliexpress is killed when the shipment explodes.

5) A non-certified tech repairing an iPhone 7 Pro Plus is killed when a dongle shorts.

6) A YouTuber bleeds to death from a paper cut while unboxing dongle.

7) A techbro chokes to death on a dongle that fell into his Soylent without him noticing.

etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of dipshit poors and idiots supporting non-Apple approved solutions that aren't exactly "innocent" and whose death would rightly please Apple. I'm an Apple user who jailbroke his iPhone and work for a ridesharing but for goldfishes startup, but I acknowledge I'm also a tremendous idiot hellfucker because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of user casualties will not be innocent.

holy poo poo this is beautiful

# ? Aug 23, 2016 18:22

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

when did people start "consuming" content instead of watching, listening, reading, etc.?

or is this just the obvious outgrowth of media all being made for babies by babies

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:05

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

http://www.macrumors.com/2016/08/23/iphone-6-6-plus-affected-by-touch-disease/

As the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus approach their second birthday, a growing number of users are suffering from what appears to be a latent manufacturing issue that presents as a gray flickering bar at the top of the screen and a display that's unresponsive or less responsive to touch. In a new blog post and video, repair site iFixit says a number of third-party repair outlets have seen iPhone 6 and 6 Plus models affected by the bug, which appears to be very common. STS Telecom owner Jason Villmer says he sees faulty iPhone 6 and 6 Plus models multiple times a week, while another repair tech in Louisiana sees up to 100 iPhone 6 and 6 Plus devices that don't respond well to touch.

iFixit is calling the problem "Touch Disease," and says Apple appears to be aware of the issue based on dozens of complaints on Apple's support forum, but isn't "doing anything about it." Multiple people who brought their iPhones to Apple Stores were told that Apple doesn't recognize it as an issue and nothing could be done as their iPhones were out of warranty.

Putting pressure on the display of an affected iPhone or twisting the device appears to reverse the issue for a short period, but the gray bar returns and touch functionality grows worse and worse until the touchscreen stops functioning all together.

Replacing the display doesn't work as the problem is said to be caused by the touchscreen controller chips soldered to the logic board of the phone, and it's possible the damage is caused by the same structural design flaw that caused the major "Bendgate" controversy.

In both the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, the Touch IC chips connect to the logic board via an array of itty-bitty solder balls--"like a plate resting on marbles," Jessa explains. Over time, as the phone flexes or twists slightly during normal use, those solder balls crack and start to lose contact with the board. "At first, there may be no defect at all. Later you might notice that the screen is sometimes unresponsive, but it is quick to come back with a hard reset," Jessa explains. "As the crack deepens into a full separation of the chip-board bond, the periods of no touch function become more frequent."

According to iFixit, the only way to fix the problem is to replace the iPhone, replace the logic board, or replace the Touch ICs on the logic board, something Apple's in-house repair staff is not able to do. iFixit recommends users who are experiencing early symptoms of Touch Disease - an intermittently non-functional touch screen or hints of a gray bar - get their iPhones replaced outright if they're still under warranty.

For those without a warranty, iFixit suggests taking an affected iPhone 6 or 6 Plus to an electronics repair shop able to replace the chips. Apple doesn't approve of third-party repairs, but it may be the only solution until the problem is officially acknowledged by the company.

iphone 6 breaks with normal use

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:05

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Endless Mike posted:

when did people start "consuming" content instead of watching, listening, reading, etc.?

or is this just the obvious outgrowth of media all being made for babies by babies

i think it happened when people started ~engaging with brands~ and marketers started really pushing social networks as a "document your life! all your friends want to know what popular brands you consume!" thing. they just pick up the marketing vernacular.

triple sulk posted:

iphone 6 breaks with normal use

everything eventually breaks with normal use. i'm not all that surprised that some elements of the iphone are wearing out after 2 years of bouncing around in people's pockets.

the real travesty is that apple makes the poo poo impossible to repair. reattaching a loose internal cable should be a 15 minute job.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:09

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

someone in dyp mentioned consuming youtube and it really upset me for some reason

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:22

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

gonna go to the museum, consume some content, then go to the movies, consume some content, have a conversation, consume some content, check Facebook, consume some content, call my mom, consume some content, see the sunset, consume some content

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:28

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Endless Mike posted:

someone in dyp mentioned consuming youtube and it really upset me for some reason

It's an outgrowth of being fat and eating everything

Also, one of the defining points of "consume" is that the thing that is consumed is used up / destroyed. So they're dumb and wrong. It's just another "utilize": a 25 cent word that adds nothing and is used to sound smarter

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:30

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

You consume a cheeseburger. You consume your solder when you're soldering. You don't fuckin consume tv

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:31

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Citizen Tayne posted:

It's an outgrowth of being fat and eating everything

Also, one of the defining points of "consume" is that the thing that is consumed is used up / destroyed. So they're dumb and wrong. It's just another "utilize": a 25 cent word that adds nothing and is used to sound smarter

you wanna see people utilizing utilize when they should be using use, read some military writing sometime

when the first page starts with FORWARD centered in 24 point font you know you're in for good times

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:32

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Driving consumes fuel, and slowly consumes your vehicle via wear and tear. You don't consume music while you're doing it, though.

God I hate the way they use that fuckin word

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:32

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

triple sulk posted:

http://www.macrumors.com/2016/08/23/iphone-6-6-plus-affected-by-touch-disease/

As the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus approach their second birthday, a growing number of users are suffering from what appears to be a latent manufacturing issue that presents as a gray flickering bar at the top of the screen and a display that's unresponsive or less responsive to touch. In a new blog post and video, repair site iFixit says a number of third-party repair outlets have seen iPhone 6 and 6 Plus models affected by the bug, which appears to be very common. STS Telecom owner Jason Villmer says he sees faulty iPhone 6 and 6 Plus models multiple times a week, while another repair tech in Louisiana sees up to 100 iPhone 6 and 6 Plus devices that don't respond well to touch.

iFixit is calling the problem "Touch Disease," and says Apple appears to be aware of the issue based on dozens of complaints on Apple's support forum, but isn't "doing anything about it." Multiple people who brought their iPhones to Apple Stores were told that Apple doesn't recognize it as an issue and nothing could be done as their iPhones were out of warranty.

Putting pressure on the display of an affected iPhone or twisting the device appears to reverse the issue for a short period, but the gray bar returns and touch functionality grows worse and worse until the touchscreen stops functioning all together.

Replacing the display doesn't work as the problem is said to be caused by the touchscreen controller chips soldered to the logic board of the phone, and it's possible the damage is caused by the same structural design flaw that caused the major "Bendgate" controversy.

In both the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, the Touch IC chips connect to the logic board via an array of itty-bitty solder balls--"like a plate resting on marbles," Jessa explains. Over time, as the phone flexes or twists slightly during normal use, those solder balls crack and start to lose contact with the board. "At first, there may be no defect at all. Later you might notice that the screen is sometimes unresponsive, but it is quick to come back with a hard reset," Jessa explains. "As the crack deepens into a full separation of the chip-board bond, the periods of no touch function become more frequent."

According to iFixit, the only way to fix the problem is to replace the iPhone, replace the logic board, or replace the Touch ICs on the logic board, something Apple's in-house repair staff is not able to do. iFixit recommends users who are experiencing early symptoms of Touch Disease - an intermittently non-functional touch screen or hints of a gray bar - get their iPhones replaced outright if they're still under warranty.

For those without a warranty, iFixit suggests taking an affected iPhone 6 or 6 Plus to an electronics repair shop able to replace the chips. Apple doesn't approve of third-party repairs, but it may be the only solution until the problem is officially acknowledged by the company.

iphone 6 breaks with normal use

wow hard hitting analysis over the use of bgas in consumer electronics

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:32

Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

my friend's N6 has screen burn-in and the "U" in "NEXUS" fell off and it's not even 2 years old

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:38

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

the opposite of "consume" is "create." the ipad is a content consumption device, while the Microsoft Surface Pro is a content creation device.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:54

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

flakeloaf posted:

you wanna see people utilizing utilize when they should be using use, read some military writing sometime

when the first page starts with FORWARD centered in 24 point font you know you're in for good times

uuungh i work with people that say utilize all the time and i don't know how to make them stop, or how to stop my involuntary flinching when they say it

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:59

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

Sagebrush posted:

i think it happened when people started ~engaging with brands~ and marketers started really pushing social networks as a "document your life! all your friends want to know what popular brands you consume!" thing. they just pick up the marketing vernacular.

everything eventually breaks with normal use. i'm not all that surprised that some elements of the iphone are wearing out after 2 years of bouncing around in people's pockets.

the real travesty is that apple makes the poo poo impossible to repair. reattaching a loose internal cable should be a 15 minute job.

if you aren't buying a new apple phone every 2 years then steve's ghost gets upset

# ? Aug 23, 2016 19:59

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

triple sulk posted:

http://www.macrumors.com/2016/08/23/iphone-6-6-plus-affected-by-touch-disease/

As the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus approach their second birthday, a growing number of users are suffering from what appears to be a latent manufacturing issue that presents as a gray flickering bar at the top of the screen and a display that's unresponsive or less responsive to touch. In a new blog post and video, repair site iFixit says a number of third-party repair outlets have seen iPhone 6 and 6 Plus models affected by the bug, which appears to be very common. STS Telecom owner Jason Villmer says he sees faulty iPhone 6 and 6 Plus models multiple times a week, while another repair tech in Louisiana sees up to 100 iPhone 6 and 6 Plus devices that don't respond well to touch.

iFixit is calling the problem "Touch Disease," and says Apple appears to be aware of the issue based on dozens of complaints on Apple's support forum, but isn't "doing anything about it." Multiple people who brought their iPhones to Apple Stores were told that Apple doesn't recognize it as an issue and nothing could be done as their iPhones were out of warranty.

Putting pressure on the display of an affected iPhone or twisting the device appears to reverse the issue for a short period, but the gray bar returns and touch functionality grows worse and worse until the touchscreen stops functioning all together.

Replacing the display doesn't work as the problem is said to be caused by the touchscreen controller chips soldered to the logic board of the phone, and it's possible the damage is caused by the same structural design flaw that caused the major "Bendgate" controversy.

In both the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, the Touch IC chips connect to the logic board via an array of itty-bitty solder balls--"like a plate resting on marbles," Jessa explains. Over time, as the phone flexes or twists slightly during normal use, those solder balls crack and start to lose contact with the board. "At first, there may be no defect at all. Later you might notice that the screen is sometimes unresponsive, but it is quick to come back with a hard reset," Jessa explains. "As the crack deepens into a full separation of the chip-board bond, the periods of no touch function become more frequent."

According to iFixit, the only way to fix the problem is to replace the iPhone, replace the logic board, or replace the Touch ICs on the logic board, something Apple's in-house repair staff is not able to do. iFixit recommends users who are experiencing early symptoms of Touch Disease - an intermittently non-functional touch screen or hints of a gray bar - get their iPhones replaced outright if they're still under warranty.

For those without a warranty, iFixit suggests taking an affected iPhone 6 or 6 Plus to an electronics repair shop able to replace the chips. Apple doesn't approve of third-party repairs, but it may be the only solution until the problem is officially acknowledged by the company.

iphone 6 breaks with normal use

sounds like because of how the iphone 6 bends with normal use the screen is coming apart over time.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:25

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

Citizen Tayne posted:

You consume a cheeseburger. You consume your solder when you're soldering. You don't fuckin consume tv

you consume content since its no longer new to you after consumption and thus new content must be created for you to consume

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:27

atomicthumbs: Dec 26, 2010; We're in the business of extending man's senses.

Citizen Tayne posted:

Timb? More like Tomb Cook, because he's killing Apple.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:34

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

you wouldn't consume a car

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:36

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

i would if it was made of chocolate

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:42

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

AWWNAW posted:

uuungh i work with people that say utilize all the time and i don't know how to make them stop, or how to stop my involuntary flinching when they say it

"utilize" is particularly useless because it's just a reduplication of an existing word

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:49

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Shaggar posted:

you consume content since its no longer new to you after consumption and thus new content must be created for you to consume

Nope. The content remains for other people to use.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 20:50

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

I just consumed a pizza. I am content with this content. #blessed

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:03

poty: Jun 21, 2008; 虹はどこで終わるのですか？あなたの魂の中で、または地平線で?

PleasureKevin posted:

couple problems:

[*] apple keyboard and mice area all wireless by default. if they don't release the Bluetooth headphones in-box, that's pretty stingey.
[*] if they'd released it with a super-thin redesign, it would be more justifiable. they could say "we couldn't fit the headphone jack". but this is the same model from last year so that narrative isn't possible.
[*] steve jobs is gone and he's the one that could have explained this better in a keynote. tim will probably gloss over it.

steve would be all like "only 5% of people use an after-market headphone. why would we keep something like that around for only 5% of people? when we killed the floppy drive, way more people were still using that. this is the oldest piece of legacy hardware in the phone. and we license Lightning to anyone that wants to use it." etc

apple will include lightning headphones because they dont want to hear 10 million idiots whining about the battery life of their headphones on the buildup to christmas

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:21

poty: Jun 21, 2008; 虹はどこで終わるのですか？あなたの魂の中で、または地平線で?

i secretly hope this years iphone is a bit poo poo because i just bought an se after i read the rumors about the new design coming only next year

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:30

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

poty posted:

i secretly hope this years iphone is a bit poo poo because i just bought an se after i read the rumors about the new design coming only next year

I don't care much about any new designs, the SE will work just fine until it dies.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:32

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

I hope it has a front camera bump

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:32

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

i walk several miles a day with my black iphone 5 in my pocket. it's still really good

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:46

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# ? May 24, 2024 02:39

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

maybe the iPhone is getting progressively worse each year because Tim is worrying that people are hanging on to their good phones for too long

# ? Aug 23, 2016 21:55

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