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So, my son turned 15 yesterday, and he got Yoshi's Crafted World. It's been less than 24 hours, and I kind of hate the sound of Yoshi now. I'm letting him play a fair amount, because it was his birthday, and he had a very good first week back to school. But I sort of want to punt the Switch down the street right now.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:20
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I'm unconvinced my presence in this child's life will be at all a net positive, given the trouble i've caused me. Stay/get clean/sober, don’t take it out on your baby or Mom, or anyone really, and be around and you’re doing more than many fathers. You are beating yourself up hard, dude. It’s not parenting that is hard, it’s the toll it can take on you mentally and physically. But you gotta stop telling yourself you can’t do it or that everyone would be better off without you, because both are lies. Don’t abandon them. That would be easier on YOU, not on them. Wife and unborn babby need you. Do both you and your wife come from a background of substance abuse? Are you both clean? If you REALLY don’t think you can do this, what does your wife think? Have you talked about adopting out?
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Jul 20, 2019 15:21
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bomb posted:Learn from it and help them avoid it I don't know how to do either of that. Geisladisk posted:\ It's exhausting and it takes years and you never get enough sleep but it's not rocket surgery. right that's exactly my problem. i don't care that it's not complicated, i care that it's exhausting and inescapable. i don't think self sacrifice is noble or worthwhile. i don't understand why parents seem incapable of communicating in anything but complaints. "oh well the FIRST few weeks were an unrelenting slog but as soon as he learned out to cry and scream everything got even worse!" femcastra posted:Your kid won’t know if you’re having an existential crisis and as long as you don’t take it out on them, they’ll be fine. yes i know that, this is the part i think i'm not going to be able to handle. AngryRobotsInc posted:So, my son turned 15 yesterday, and he got Yoshi's Crafted World. It's been less than 24 hours, and I kind of hate the sound of Yoshi now. I'm letting him play a fair amount, because it was his birthday, and he had a very good first week back to school. But I sort of want to punt the Switch down the street right now. you taught the child portable electronics could be used without headphones? you mad fool.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:22
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:you taught the child portable electronics could be used without headphones? you mad fool. I normally don't mind! But this game is getting to eye twitching levels.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:26
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can you rig up your house such that when your kid starts getting annoying with the noises your home stereo system starts playing Tequila! on loop until he gets the hint edit- trap remixes of anime themes feat. The Yoshi Noise
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Jul 20, 2019 15:33
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oh god, i just realized the kid will be my age once global warming finally kills off all life on earth. WHAT is the loving POINT.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:35
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:oh god, i just realized the kid will be my age once global warming finally kills off all life on earth. WHAT is the loving POINT. I think you should consult a professional therapist. I've been there. It helps.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:42
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I'm in therapy. I have medication. I garden and volunteer and do the mindfulness bullshit. i've even started exercising, out of the rationale that i'm going to need to kick a nazi in the loving fork in order to keep this poo poo stinking sack of tantrums alive.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:45
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I'm in therapy. I have medication. I garden and volunteer and do the mindfulness bullshit. i've even started exercising, out of the rationale that i'm going to need to kick a nazi in the loving fork in order to keep this poo poo stinking sack of tantrums alive. Excellent! Glad to see you are taking all the right steps. The other thing I found that's super important is finding time to still be a couple with your spouse. It's super difficult but you guys have needs too.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:49
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Excellent! Glad to see you are taking all the right steps. The other thing I found that's super important is finding time to still be a couple with your spouse. It's super difficult but you guys have needs too. i should have probably clarified that i'm doing all of this (and date nights too) and it's not working. i'm playing by all the rules but i'm not feeling any different. like the dude upthread who said he say his baby's heartbeat and now his whole world changed? that didn't happen to me. i saw it on the sonogram machine and just felt sad.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:57
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nwin posted:That links to something really weird. Something about birth being a curse-I dunno. Sorry, fixed the link for anyone else. And yes, it is safe says my EMT husband.
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Jul 20, 2019 15:59
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I didn't care about the sonogram either. Actual kids are a lot more fun (and aggravating and exhausting etc.).
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Jul 20, 2019 16:01
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Relax, I know a couple who are legally retarded and accidentally had a baby and everyone's still fine, 15 years later. (I know, someone telling you to relax isn't exactly helpful. I don't know much about addiction problems so I'm afraid that's the best I'm gonna come up with. But it sounds like you already caught the gist of it. Stay clean, keep trying to be a good parent and you will be one.) PHIZ KALIFA posted:like the dude upthread who said he say his baby's heartbeat and now his whole world changed? Dude, that's completely normal. You're not an emotionless psychopath because you didn't feel the earth shaking. One thing I can guarantee: If you stick by this baby for a few weeks to months, you will feel emotional attachment and it will love you. Time invested will pay dividends. Edit: Oh, unless you're clinically depressed, that poo poo is pretty inhibiting for emotional attachment... Sorry if that's the case, but glad to hear you're already getting help. Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 16:07 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 16:03
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i should have probably clarified that i'm doing all of this (and date nights too) and it's not working. i'm playing by all the rules but i'm not feeling any different. like the dude upthread who said he say his baby's heartbeat and now his whole world changed? It sounds like you're depressed. To me it's a lot like being out of shape. As someone who has been both (currently less depressed but still fat and working on both), I can tell you that there are no quick fixes. There are no rules, there is no schedule, nothing magically changes everything for the better. It's just a question of progress, measured over the course of months and not days. It's about putting in the work, which you are clearly doing. How old is your kid?
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Jul 20, 2019 16:06
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Not a parent, but I sure am depressed: you might want to look into getting light therapy. I have a big fancy box that emits bright light and I read in front of it daily or I feel nothing. Especially in winter, but I have to do it in summer too or I can live that joke about being depressed on the beach.
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Jul 20, 2019 16:10
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StrixNebulosa posted:Not a parent, but I sure am depressed: you might want to look into getting light therapy. I have a big fancy box that emits bright light and I read in front of it daily or I feel nothing. Especially in winter, but I have to do it in summer too or I can live that joke about being depressed on the beach. Got a link?
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Jul 20, 2019 16:11
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i'm probably depressed in the sense that psychology has decided the reaction i'm having to THE HEAT DEATH OF ALL THINGS is depression. i'm not depressed in the sense that i stay in bed all day and cry, i'm depressed in that i'm aware that it's never, ever, ever going to be better than it is now. i don't think zoloft can fix that.StrixNebulosa posted:Not a parent, but I sure am depressed: you might want to look into getting light therapy. I have a big fancy box that emits bright light and I read in front of it daily or I feel nothing. Especially in winter, but I have to do it in summer too or I can live that joke about being depressed on the beach. i make sure to get at least 2-ish hours of direct sunlight exposure and i've got one of those fancy eco LED lights fingerblasting my eyes while i'm at my desk. y'all i have tried the simple answers and i'm still having problems. edit- like, i should probably be leading some kind of polyamorous antifascist acid cult, most of my fantasies are about dying while driving a bulldozer over ICE vans. this normie poo poo isn't for me.
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Jul 20, 2019 16:15
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i'm not depressed in the sense that i stay in bed all day and cry, i'm depressed in that i'm aware that it's never, ever, ever going to be better than it is now. i don't think zoloft can fix that. Depression isn't just lying in the bed and crying. It can be that. It can be not feeling any motivation to do things you once enjoyed. It can be thoughts of death or suicide. It can be like me, where my teeth now have to pretty much all be pulled, and I went about a month and a half without showering because I felt nothing, and even just taking care of myself was Too Much. And it can be "Things will never ever get better" thoughts. It can be a lot of things. You absolutely do sound clinically depressed, and I think you might want to discuss adjusting your medication.
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Jul 20, 2019 16:23
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Agreed that you sound depressed and should try upping your dosage or switching meds
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Jul 20, 2019 16:29
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Got a link? https://www.sunbox.com/shop/10000-lux-bright-lights/sunray-ii/ I don't have the fancy stand but that box works wonders. I also take celexa which helps, and do therapy, but weirdly enough it's the light box that's done the most for my depression.
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Jul 20, 2019 16:38
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AngryRobotsInc posted:Depression isn't just lying in the bed and crying. It can be that. It can be not feeling any motivation to do things you once enjoyed. It can be thoughts of death or suicide. It can be like me, where my teeth now have to pretty much all be pulled, and I went about a month and a half without showering because I felt nothing, and even just taking care of myself was Too Much. And it can be "Things will never ever get better" thoughts. It can be a lot of things. I don't have problems doing things I enjoy. i shower and could take better care of my teeth but i keep the house clean and cook. I am just constantly aware that we are in the midst of the winding down of all things. and i think it's cruel to bring a child into that.
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Jul 20, 2019 16:39
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i should have probably clarified that i'm doing all of this (and date nights too) and it's not working. i'm playing by all the rules but i'm not feeling any different. like the dude upthread who said he say his baby's heartbeat and now his whole world changed? As a formerly self-destructive nihilist who’s mostly dead emotionally, I get this. I wish I could say anything other than it takes time. I’m sober almost 12 years. After a while you stop noticing the effort, and the good stuff feels good. Just keep doing the work. That being said, parenthood isn’t for everyone. Have a real serious think on if you’re willing to accept the responsibility and sacrifices, and then talk to your partner about it. There’s no right answer, only a choice.
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Jul 20, 2019 16:44
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:y'all i have tried the simple answers and i'm still having problems. Getting through the lowest points of depression isn’t simple at all. Part of being depressed is thinking that things are never going to get better. I think about global warming and how the future might be terrible, everyone does to some extent. When I’m depressed, I dwell on it, and it makes me more depressed. When I’m on meds and in therapy, I think about it, but I also feel hopeful that change is coming and the future is going to be great. I also actively try to do my part to reduce my carbon footprint and participate in things to better the environment. There have been terrible things going on in this world since the beginning of time, but there have also been wonderful, amazing things going on as well. Life is hard, being a parent is hard, but life and parenthood have so many beautiful, joyful moments that make it all worth it. The good outweighs the bad, if you let it. That being said, you don’t HAVE to be a dad. If your wife wants to keep the baby, nobody is forcing you to stick around. It seems like you’ve got your mind made up and you’ve decided that parenthood is a horrible thing that you don’t want to subject yourself to, and you’re not willing to work on it to see things in a more positive light. Therapy can do wonders for that, but if you have focused on this in therapy and have truly made an effort, but you still don’t want a kid, just leave. It would be an EXTREMELY lovely thing to do to your wife and baby, but growing up without a father versus growing up with a dad who actively resents his child and life in general could be somewhat less psychologically damaging. THAT being said, right now your kid is still in the womb, and it’s really difficult to imagine what life will be like with a baby until they are actually born. Your kid is still just an idea. I was pregnant, feeling my baby kick, and it was still difficult to register that it was an actual baby, MY baby, until she was born. Even after she was born it took a couple weeks to really start feeling a bond with her. This isn’t uncommon, either. Before your kid is born, focus on trying to lessen the negativity of being a parent in your therapy sessions. Be there for your wife, but be open about how you feel, maybe she can help work through it together. Things will be drastically different when you can actually hold your baby and start to bond with it. If you stick it out with your family and you still hate being a dad, you can always take the lovely, devastating route and leave.
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Jul 20, 2019 17:16
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Koivunen posted:and you’re not willing to work on it to see things in a more positive light. i've explained what i've tried in this thread and i'm desperate to know if there's anything i missed. i don't want to leave but i'm not convinced it's actually worse than staying. edit: "if it's so bad why don't you leave" is a GREAT question and one i DO NOT HAVE an answer to, so.
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Jul 20, 2019 18:27
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I didn't really feel much when I heard the heartbeat or even felt the kicks. It wasn't until my eldest came out and cried that it really hit home. Even then, the intensity of my love for her and then her brother has grown a trillion fold since then. I will also say that I suffer from depression, which sometimes manifests as anhedonia. When this surfaces the only thing that never fails to bring me joy is my children. Not saying you are me, and it doesn't "cure" anything (there is no magic cure for depression) but I'd be surprised if, over time, your child didn't make your life better, and if you didn't rise to the challenge of being a good father. In conjunction with all the avenues of support you may make use of. Wishing you all the best, and don't shy away from continuing to use this rather excellent thread as one of said avenues. OneSizeFitsAll fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 18:28
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How much time do you spend on SA? The end-of-the-world groupthink is strong here and I find myself getting sucked in sometimes too. Go outside, the world is a beautiful place and even though it's changing (always has, always will), it'll still be around and beautiful when your kid is here. I read this entire thread when my wife and I were talking about having a kid. Well, it's happening, so I guess it'll be my turn to ask questions or just commiserate about all the bodily fluids I'm going to have to learn to deal with.
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Jul 20, 2019 18:44
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Sipher posted:How much time do you spend on SA? The end-of-the-world groupthink is strong here and I find myself getting sucked in sometimes too. Go outside, the world is a beautiful place and even though it's changing (always has, always will), it'll still be around and beautiful when your kid is here. extremely inconsistent. i've spent a lot over the past 2 days because i'm procrastinating on some Laptop Work but on other weeks i'll not show up for days. this is not the only place i am exposed to proof of the imminent apocalypse. it most definitely will not be beautiful by the time the child is old enough to appreciate it. i won't be able to complain about them spending all summer indoors because it will be literally too hot to go outside. edit- we can move away from global warming chat or trying to dissuade me from viewing the future through a framework of climate activism. i'm not sad because i see a lot of articles about bee death from the One Hojillion Moms Out Against Monsanto + Naturopathic Child Wrangling facebook coven, i'm upset because nothing has been eating my milkweed for 3 years. i'm fairly active in ecology and citizen scienec, so this is something i'm watching happen in real time, in my back yard. VVVV i get that online spaces are safe to vent in but this is something i'm getting from real life people as well. basically the entire pregnancy has been marked by the people in my life telling me that things only get worse and more complicated, as if i wasn't? aware? i am not known about town for an unwarranted cheery disposition so i just, don't understand what the gently caress people are trying to communicate here. literally someone said "you won't get much sleep before they can walk and you'll get even less once they're mobile!" as if that's some cute in joke and not a recipe for me absolutely losing my poo poo over the entire tri-county area. PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 19:01
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I wanted to address part of a previous comment about parents constantly sounding negative- a lot of parent forums/threads/online resources skew negative because people like to vent and it’s not interesting to post about ‘played a good game of peekaboo today and the baby made some noises that made my heart swell’. It’s good to have the outlet when needed, but it’s also unfortunately part of the culture to constantly complain about some aspect of child rearing with little mention of the good stuff. Not that there aren’t stressors and challenges to being a parent but honestly it’s pretty great. I was really anxious and somewhat disconnected during pregnancy, but I love my baby with a passion I didn’t know I was capable of. Sure, I’ll complain or stress at online groups, but I feel like the day to day is absolutely worth it. 
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Jul 20, 2019 19:15
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:edit: "if it's so bad why don't you leave" is a GREAT question and one i DO NOT HAVE an answer to, so. All I’m saying is, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. People are offering up good advice and your only response is “NOPE!” Was this an unexpected pregnancy? That can have a huge impact on feeling anxious and negative about becoming a parent. Everyone has some fears or doubts about being a mom or dad, it’s just something you have to power through for the benefit of your child. If you’re not up for that, the choice seems pretty clear. Just give being a parent a chance, if you’re willing. It’s impossible to know what it’s like before it happens.
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Jul 20, 2019 19:32
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:literally someone said "you won't get much sleep before they can walk and you'll get even less once they're mobile!" as if that's some cute in joke and not a recipe for me absolutely losing my poo poo over the entire tri-county area. FWIW, that last part is not true. You will most likely get adequate amounts of sleep, at least once they're mobile, because by then most babies are sleeping longer stretches. Many (like mine) will do full nights (8+ hours at a stretch) after only a few months. The fact that much of this thread is about sleep management is mostly due to the fact that those of us with sleeping babies are in bed, asleep, instead of posting.
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Jul 20, 2019 19:35
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Koivunen posted:All I’m saying is, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. People are offering up good advice and your only response is “NOPE!” hi, hello. people are suggesting things i have already done and my response is that i have already done them and found their results inadequate. if you're going to insist on making things worse pls familiarize urself with the context first kthx like, y'all, the problems assailing the world right now are not just an issue of perception. i can't positive think my way out of a record breaking heat wave and the continued insistence that there's a personal solution to systemic problems just makes me feel worse? could you maybe start from a position that the person asking for help has tried the obvious poo poo already? i know "stay hydrated and eat a salad" sounds like revolutionary advice, but. i assure you. i am eating the leafy poo poo. i am building a community of support. poo poo ain't working. Hippie Hedgehog posted:FWIW, that last part is not true. You will most likely get adequate amounts of sleep, at least once they're mobile, because by then most babies are sleeping longer stretches. Many (like mine) will do full nights (8+ hours at a stretch) after only a few months. holy poo poo! loving thank you! all i've read, ALL I'VE READ is unending streams of complaints of parents trying to one up each other with how little their child sleeps. this is the best news i've read in days. PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 19:45
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Yeah when we had our first kid everyone always makes the dumb sleep jokes but... Honestly other than some broken sleep the first few months it was no big deal. Seriously I was surprised at easy it was for me to manage.
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Jul 20, 2019 20:04
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:hi, hello. people are suggesting things i have already done and my response is that i have already done them and found their results inadequate. if you're going to insist on making things worse pls familiarize urself with the context first kthx I’m gonna summarise this a bit because the whole story is long as gently caress. I’ve just had a kid. My partner’s ex (and father to the ten year old that spends half his time with us) came around my house a month before my son was born and told me that he’d been loving my partner for five months whilst we were together, towards the start of our relationship. She confirmed this was true. He also said she’d been loving lots of people. This does not tally with her version of events. He did this to try to destroy our relationship because I’d just proposed to her. I am also an alcoholic, and prone to depression, because, like you, I think the world is a loving disgusting cesspit (I live in the UK and we seem to be a nation of morons). I was a year sober but all this poo poo broke me and I started drinking again. This was not a great last month to a pregnancy. I had to get a paternity test for me and my son so that the paranoia didn’t eat my life up. The first time I held him, my only thought was “does he look like me? Is he mine?”. The test came back that he was mine. The reason I’m writing all this out again (check towards the end of the alcohol thread in E/N for some really painful as-it-happened posting) is because my situation went from what I thought was perfect to literally my own vision of what hell would be like, and I still love my son, and I’m still trying to be the best father I can be. Also the sleep thing, I get woken up most nights but I go back to sleep again, it’s not the worst thing. It’s weirdly impossible to actually begrudge it.
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Jul 20, 2019 20:50
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i should have probably clarified that i'm doing all of this (and date nights too) and it's not working. i'm playing by all the rules but i'm not feeling any different. like the dude upthread who said he say his baby's heartbeat and now his whole world changed? I was a ball of anxiety during the pregnancy and I didn't feel anything more than "thank gently caress this ordeal (the birth) is over" when I first saw my daughter. Even the first months I barely felt much at all. I felt trapped caring for a kid I didn't even feel much more than a sense of responsibility for. Two years later and I love the poo poo out of this kid so much it doesn't make sense. The stuff I grieved so hard for losing - endless free time, freedom, all that - feels trivial and petty and inconsequential. Everything you've heard is bullshit. You don't change overnight. Most people don't get a transformative moment where the Parent Switch is flipped to "On". You'll be fine. You're feeling perfectly normal anxiety. Ride it out. Geisladisk fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 20:54
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Can we all agree that Elsa's parents were the absolute worst?
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Jul 20, 2019 21:44
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Can we all agree that Elsa's parents were the absolute worst? By not taking two ships so that if one sank they didn't both die?
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Jul 20, 2019 22:26
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:hi, hello. people are suggesting things i have already done and my response is that i have already done them and found their results inadequate. if you're going to insist on making things worse pls familiarize urself with the context first kthx You probably won’t read all of this, but it’s getting typed anyway. Is it not working because it’s not working, or because you don’t want it to? Like, depression is no joke, and tons of people have chimed in trying to help. The most important things anyone can say to you online (get therapy, this is a safe place to vent) have been said many times and you’re rebuffing them, so you seem pretty determined to remain in your mental state to the point you’re either not actually trying any of the things, or you are trying them begrudgingly but with the idea already in your head nothing will work. I’m not sure anyone here can say much of anything to you that will be beneficial to you in the context of imminent earth death, especially considering it is evidently the main cause of your depression. Like, of course still vent if that helps you, but you seem to be getting angry at some people as if attempts to help just annoy you because we aren’t actually getting your point. But, though you’ve said a lot that would seemingly indicate you don’t want to be helped or that there’s nothing we can do to help you, even giving me the impression that venting doesn’t even put a dent in your abyssal, apocalyptic depression, still you posted here, or anywhere else you may have posted, and I’m not convinced you think you’re beyond help based on that alone. I’m certainly not qualified to help beyond encouragement and empathy, but if you’re seeing a therapist that isn’t helping you, find a different one. And if you ascribe to the belief that the earth is going to get swallowed up by the sun or whatever, then am I going too far out in a limb by asserting that maybe it’s possible you can at least begin to feel like whatever short life you or any of us have left, is worth living to the fullest? Also, yeah you’re going to see a lot of crazy horror poo poo some parents like me post when we have had maybe 3 hours of sleep in the past two days, and that does happen. But what is true for one of us doesn’t ring true for everyone else and it maybe won’t be true for you. Kids don’t always stay terrible sleepers, they just tend to start out that way. It’s more of a “get ready” thing by parents who weren’t prepared for the level of sleep they aren’t getting. My son sleeps fine, or he was doing so until his 15mo sleep regression, which he’s currently experiencing. So do you want to be told it’s all roses to be a parent, and there are no bad things ever in what is overall a rewarding and wonderful experience that even the most complainy of us wouldn’t trade for the world? Or do you want to be told it’s absolute utter poo poo 24/7 with no redeeming factors? I feel like you’re wanting one thing or the other, and not considering that there’s a middle ground where something can be hard and challenging but also immensely rewarding.
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Jul 20, 2019 22:33
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life is killing me posted:You probably won’t read all of this, but it’s getting typed anyway. i'm not rebuffing them, i am asking people who haven't read my posts to read my posts before trying to help. if i seem annoyed, it's because it's annoying to have someone suggest stuff you're already doing. i don't have the wherewithal to thank people who aren't helping. if that seems rude, it's because i'm rude and standoffish as a person. i'm in therapy. that's one of the first things i said. i also take medication to help regulate my mood. i have undergone a variety of therapies, including talk therapy, CBT (lol), loving hypnosis, and basically everything short of past life regression. i grow my own vegetables, if i had the wherewithal to post my life on social media you'd probably assume i'm any other bougie rear end millenial living in the Redwall countryside, except the entire time i'm doing it i'm trying not to focus on the heartbreaking fragility of it all. this isn't just bellyaching, i'm trying to explain what i've been doing and what parts of it don't work. the meds i'm taking now help with focus and when i'm productive i feel Less Bad but that's "i did what i could to gently caress up a nazi" not "i'm content with the world and my place in it." I don't know exactly what i need to hear but i know broad solutions aren't it. my spouse and i communicate fine. hearing that sleep isn't actually all that big an issue was loving phenomenal, and is probably the only thing i've read about this entire stupid endeavor that makes me the least bit relieved. Garcon! More soothing pablum and less personal critiques of my impeccable life choices.
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Jul 20, 2019 22:50
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BonoMan posted:By not taking two ships so that if one sank they didn't both die? I was thinking about the years of emotional torture and isolation that turned two siblings against each other and made one of them so starved for attention she threw herself at literally the first available man she found. It took one of them committing suicide for Elsa to realize that love is all you need. You know, the thing parents are supposed to provide for their child. Nevermind the fact that a magical preschooler would be literally the worst kept secret in the kingdom the second or third time the staff had to replace the hardwood floors in the ballroom after Elsa made it snow indoors. Especially after most of them were fired.
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Jul 20, 2019 23:16
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i'm not rebuffing them, i am asking people who haven't read my posts to read my posts before trying to help. if i seem annoyed, it's because it's annoying to have someone suggest stuff you're already doing. i don't have the wherewithal to thank people who aren't helping. if that seems rude, it's because i'm rude and standoffish as a person. Okay, I get what you’re saying. Sleep is a big deal to those who need a lot of sleep. I thought I was good, used to no sleep in the military, then had a kid. The first few weeks actually weren’t terrible, the sleep regressions suck but they get better, but overall I’m willing to go through it again so it must not be as bad as I had thought before. If you can function on less sleep it works out better, but if you need the sleep to keep your mental state in any form of stability, well, it starts out poo poo but gets better. The horror stories, again, are people venting. It doesn’t necessarily mean that parenting is a terrible slog all of the time. If you’re worried that you’re going to be a poo poo parent at least partially because of the challenges you’ve read about that people are going through with parenting, well, as people we sometimes underestimate our resilience to hard things. If you’ve got the will to get up every morning, shower and brush your teeth at least frequently enough to keep them from rotting out your skull, you’ve got the capability to be a parent. Also, if you have a sense of humor (no offense, but I’m not able to tell if you do), kids say and do a lot of cute and funny poo poo. life is killing me fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 23:25
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