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My 10 month old boy's sleep has gotten worse and worse the past two months, and it's gotten to a point where he wants up 6+ times each night. This, plus he only sleeps around 30 minutes 3 times a day is driving us crazy. On top of it, he has cerebral palsy affecting his hands and hips, so he can't sit and play, and we have to entertain him all day, so we're getting real exhausted. We'd really like to sleep train him in some way before he starts in daycare in mid-september, but we don't know how to start and follow through. We just tried the method where he gets put down while awake, and we leave the room for longer and longer, but after 15 minutes he was howling so hard it sounded like he would throw up and choke on it. We have bad sleep habits because of his CP, so we're used to having a cloth over his eyes, and rock him to sleep with white noise in a dark room. He's gotten more control over his arms, so he's begun fighting the cloth and pulling it down, and then he just lays there smiling at us like a little cute bastard. We do have a bedtime routine with changing into pyjamas, having a bottle and reading a book, though.
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Aug 6, 2019 18:02
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 11:35 |
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My daughter played teeball in the Spring and I thought it was pretty excellent. Very laid back but still introducing and reinforcing structure. Plus when kids are on defense, watching them all abandon their "positions" to chase after a ball looks exactly like kittens chasing a laser pointer.
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Aug 6, 2019 21:29
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Boz0r posted:My 10 month old boy's sleep has gotten worse and worse the past two months, and it's gotten to a point where he wants up 6+ times each night. This, plus he only sleeps around 30 minutes 3 times a day is driving us crazy. On top of it, he has cerebral palsy affecting his hands and hips, so he can't sit and play, and we have to entertain him all day, so we're getting real exhausted. My 9 month old is a horrible napper. She doesn’t nap for more than 30 min either. But she’s at daycare 5 days a week so it’s not my problem. Seems like an awful attitude to have BUT she is a fantastic night sleeper (10-12 hours with little to no wake ups). Pediatrician says it’s fine because she’s getting so much sleep at night. We put a Nested Bean sleep sack on her every night. I wouldn’t be able to live without it. Seriously give it a try. If she does wake up, she just grumps for a few seconds then goes back to sleep. If it doesn’t work in the suggested time frame you can return it. Also you didn’t mention what his bedtime and wake up times are. Maybe bedtime is too late and he’s overtired? My daughter demands a 7 pm bedtime. If we have something going on and get home late she’s extremely hard to put down and will wake frequently because she is overtired. We have no life outside this house because we are bathed and jammied at 6:45 pm.
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Aug 7, 2019 01:23
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have any of you ever done the banana hand trick and how effective is it, both at holding the bottle in place and comforting a fussy sleeper?
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Aug 7, 2019 01:32
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Sarah posted:We have no life outside this house because we are bathed and jammied at 6:45 pm. Same. We vacationed at my in-laws house and had a party with a bunch of friends/relatives around well into the evening but my husband and I did the whole bedtime routine in the middle of it. Bath, stories, feeding, including me getting into the tub with baby as I always do. I just put my party clothes on again right after. Bedtime routine = sacrosanct. She sleeps like a champ though so it's worth it.
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Aug 7, 2019 02:03
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Sarah posted:My 9 month old is a horrible napper. She doesn’t nap for more than 30 min either. But she’s at daycare 5 days a week so it’s not my problem. Seems like an awful attitude to have BUT she is a fantastic night sleeper (10-12 hours with little to no wake ups). Pediatrician says it’s fine because she’s getting so much sleep at night. We got one of these a few days ago, but it hasn't really made any difference. His bedtime is around 6:30-7:00 PM and he wants up at around 7:00.
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Aug 7, 2019 10:00
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Boz0r posted:We got one of these a few days ago, but it hasn't really made any difference. His bedtime is around 6:30-7:00 PM and he wants up at around 7:00. Don’t give up on it yet. Keep using it. Might take a while for it to have an effect.
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Aug 7, 2019 14:08
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They look like they are in a TMNT suit...too cute. We use zippadee zips that I get second hand on Facebook. Our kid likes to rub and grab at her face when she's falling asleep and if I let her fingernails go a little too long she isn't going to be scraping up her face and eyeballs. We did Ferber style sleep training at the recommendation of our ped and it helped us a ton with nighttime sleep. There are "gentler" sleep training methods you could try, but I'm not familiar with the details (sleep lady shuffle, pick up/put down). Have you talked to your ped about your issues, especially considering the potential complications with CP? marchantia fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Aug 7, 2019 |
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Aug 7, 2019 16:30
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Jeez, last day in daycare for our boys today, next week they'll be in preschool! They grow up so fast.
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Aug 9, 2019 07:40
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Yeah we had first day of Kindergarten for my daughter yesterday. I don't even know what the gently caress to think. I thought I'd be all tears, but we also have a newborn and I'm just running on the fumiest of fumes at the moment. Which brings me to this question now that I think about it - our newest is 7 weeks old and definitely has some gas/digestive problems. Like he's always squirming and screaming until he shits/farts/burps/whatever. And it's all day because he basically cluster feeds all day. We've taken him to the doctor and everything *seems* fine in terms of big picture stuff. He's definitely gaining weight (12 lbs at 7 weeks lol), poops and pees regularly and nothing in the poop/pee to alarm the pediatrician. She suggested it *could* be an allergy to something my wife is eating but that there usually would be symptoms that showed up when they tested the poop. Just to see she's basically cut everything dairy and soy out of her diet to see (no good results just yet). Gas drops don't really help for some reason and we just started probiotics (at our ped's request) two days ago so hopefully that helps. She also thinks it might be over-producing/consumption of milk that might be causing the problem. Anybody have any advice/similar stories? It's driving my wife mad. He absolutely HAS to be held by her every second of the day except late at night when he finally deep sleeps. He feeds constantly and is also squirming/crying constantly. It's been tough. He's basically done it since he's been born.
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Aug 9, 2019 14:07
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It sounds like normal baby getting used to having a digestive system stuff?
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Aug 9, 2019 15:47
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sheri posted:It sounds like normal baby getting used to having a digestive system stuff? I don't know the doctor didn't tend to think it was really normal either (but didn't seem overly alarmed of course). I mean he's ALWAYS squirming and screaming. Like... 90% of the time. He's clearly in pain and has been doing it since birth. Maybe it is normal, I don't know but we certainly didn't have anything like it with our first.
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Aug 9, 2019 16:22
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It could be reflux. Did the doc talk about that? That can cause a lot of discomfort and babies sometimes want to eat constantly to try to sooth the discomfort.
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Aug 9, 2019 16:35
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I want to preface this by saying I am really, really not the judging type. Nor do I encourage it at all. I’m very accepting of how others choose to parent and how any particular day can be their (or my own) worst day. But gently caress. This mother on this flight with us today was something else. And I get it. I really do. I have no idea what her circumstances were or what challenges she faced today. And I know what it takes to fly with small kids. Been there, done that mostly successfully. But for most of the flight, she was knocked out. At times completely hanging all over the person next to her. And all the while, her maybe 15 month old was sitting in her lap. As credit to her as a mother, anytime her child began to cry, she awoke and tried to calm her girl down. But as soon as her child wasn’t crying, she just passed out. Everyone around this mother and daughter were just in a constant state of anxiety. There were several times the baby was perched precariously in the mother’s lap (and did fall once). It’s just hard. I bit my lip the entire time but it’s hard. I take my responsibilities to my son so seriously. It’s made even worse for my wife and I since we probably can’t have another child (and we’d want to girl if we could). I couldn’t imagine being that absent minded (I’m not sure what to call it). Then again, I have no idea what this mother had or is dealing with. Just the way we all (everyone around her had, at some point, needed to hand back something that dropped) had to really shake this woman out of unconsciousness made us all really uneasy. Maybe I’m out of line. Maybe I just need to chill. Maybe I’ve overstepped. Just hug your kids a little tighter today, just because.
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Aug 9, 2019 16:51
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sheri posted:It could be reflux. Did the doc talk about that? She said it didn't seem like it was reflux at all either, but possibly (this is me not the doc) it's presenting a little differently. The constantly eating to soothe would make sense.
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Aug 9, 2019 17:09
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True story: I fell asleep with a 2 year old in my lap last night while the 4 year old was in gymnastics. It was only about a 20 minutes, but I really hope no one else in the waiting/viewing area noticed.
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Aug 9, 2019 17:09
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BonoMan posted:Yeah we had first day of Kindergarten for my daughter yesterday. I don't even know what the gently caress to think. My son was garbage at dealing with my letdown so he ate lots of tiny meals nonstop because he couldn't sit and enjoy one feeding. Lots of screaming while farting and general misery. Wasn't really gently caress all we could do except wait for him to outgrow it. It's bullshit babies are such garbage at letting out farts until theyre older. I'd try to unlatch and let the initial letdown into a towel, lots of burping, gas drops, bicycle kicks, warm baths, stomach massages. They made me feel like I was at least trying and probably did help a little, but overall I don't think there was a lot of fart crying reduction.
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Aug 9, 2019 17:41
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Does the baby make a clicking noise with their tongue while eating? That can be a sign that letdown is coming too fast and they’re losing suction and swallowing air. Trying to feed them as upright as possible or in a side lying position with mom and baby on their sides can help, or releasing the latch and letting the spray go into a towel or a haakaa, then relatching can help too. If there is a lactation consultant you could see, they can take a look at the latch and see if there are any problems. Many hospitals offer lactation support for free. Regarding being judgy, don’t feel bad about it. As a parent you’re kind of always on the lookout for kids even if they aren’t yours. I get judgy of my best friend’s parenting sometimes. She’s got a 19 month old boy who is absolutely wild and she doesn’t do anything to corral him or stop the behaviors. We went out to eat once and he was walking on the table and standing in the high chair because she lets him do it at home, and he fell head first on to the hardwood floor. The entire restaurant got really quiet and were staring as he screamed bloody murder, but she just sat there, didn’t take him outside or anything, while he screamed. Her rationale is that kids cry, and people should deal with it. He’s constantly screaming, too. Happy or sad or anything, it’s screaming. She’s been kicked out of three places now because of his screaming, but she hasn’t done anything to try to teach soft/indoor voices yet, or teach what quiet is. I love her, and I love her kid, but doing stuff in public with him present is super embarrassing. I know toddlers can be a lot to handle, and he might not grasp the idea of quiet yet, but she lets him do whatever he wants and jokes about him being a free range kid. Our hanging out now is either just the two of us, or us with the kids someplace outside where he can scream and run wild all he wants and it’s not quite so ear piercing. That turned into a venting session, sorry.
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Aug 9, 2019 19:10
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Koivunen posted:Does the baby make a clicking noise with their tongue while eating? That can be a sign that letdown is coming too fast and they’re losing suction and swallowing air. Trying to feed them as upright as possible or in a side lying position with mom and baby on their sides can help, or releasing the latch and letting the spray go into a towel or a haakaa, then relatching can help too. If there is a lactation consultant you could see, they can take a look at the latch and see if there are any problems. Many hospitals offer lactation support for free. Nah that's poo poo. She just doesn't want to be the bad guy. Discipline your drat kids* *With words and a reduction in privileges and poo poo like that. Don't hit.
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Aug 9, 2019 19:41
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Thwomp posted:I want to preface this by saying I am really, really not the judging type. Nor do I encourage it at all. I’m very accepting of how others choose to parent and how any particular day can be their (or my own) worst day. To me this sounds like she is exhausted like gently caress and running on fumes. Like she couldn't keep awake even if she wanted to.
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Aug 10, 2019 06:10
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His Divine Shadow posted:To me this sounds like she is exhausted like gently caress and running on fumes. Like she couldn't keep awake even if she wanted to. Yeah that's the vibe I'm getting as well. Not so much lovely parent as physically unable to function.
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Aug 10, 2019 06:18
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Speaking of exhausting kids, visiting my parents summer cottage since my dad is turning 67 and one of them threw one of the cats in the sea. We took them with us in the car. And then during dinner my mom screams for help and comes running out the door with a paper towel holder. On fire. One of kids found a lighter...
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Aug 10, 2019 15:41
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Koivunen posted:Does the baby make a clicking noise with their tongue while eating? That can be a sign that letdown is coming too fast and they’re losing suction and swallowing air. Trying to feed them as upright as possible or in a side lying position with mom and baby on their sides can help, or releasing the latch and letting the spray go into a towel or a haakaa, then relatching can help too. If there is a lactation consultant you could see, they can take a look at the latch and see if there are any problems. Many hospitals offer lactation support for free. Yeah we're thinking it might actually be the letdown issue so we're pumping before doing a full feed to let some of it out (as well as get a bottle supply that I can use to help feed so she doesn't go crazy). And turns out the pediatrician set us up with a lactation specialist so we're going Monday!
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Aug 10, 2019 16:09
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His Divine Shadow posted:one of them threw one of the cats in the sea. Say more.. were the cats ok?
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Aug 10, 2019 16:25
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Heners_UK posted:Say more.. were the cats ok? Oh yeah it just waded back up, very shallow beach
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Aug 10, 2019 16:37
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My little baby is now a toddler! I know other people on here have babies with milk allergies. This cake recipe came out great: https://www.noracooks.com/vegan-chocolate-cake/ I didn't use that frosting, but one that was of similar ingredients, just vanilla. I didn't like it. All the vegan butters are salted so the frosting came out too salty. I'd try to find something different next time. I also did 1.5x for 2 9" pans and a small smash cake. It was still fluffy and moist, but it didn't raise very much. You can see in the pic how thin the layer is.
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Aug 11, 2019 00:23
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His Divine Shadow posted:To me this sounds like she is exhausted like gently caress and running on fumes. Like she couldn't keep awake even if she wanted to. ... or she's terrified of flying and took a pill before the flight. Which would be a terribly irresponsible thing to do, especially without explaining it to anyone else.
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Aug 11, 2019 17:33
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BonoMan posted:
This sounds similar to what we went though, just we had endless vomiting as well. It turned it to be a milk allergy combined with acid reflux, we switched to alimemtum and all of our problems went away overnight. My wife couldn't breastfeed so it was easy to just try random formula until we found something that worked. Acid reflux will be accompanied by grunting, coughing, vomiting, poo poo like that, so that doesn't sound like it. I'm convinced gas drops dont do poo poo. We tried that too but it didn't do anything.
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Aug 11, 2019 22:21
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Took all three kids (5f, 2x2m) camping this weekend along with other couple friends who have kids the same age as ours. Everyone had a blast and it was so much easier than our trip to the same state park last year. All the kids listened and stayed in our adjoining campsites or in the woods right around them. I even got to sleep by myself in an awesome hammock I got as a gift a couple of years ago. Definitely proud of the oldest, she handled grabbing the lantern and walking down to the bathroom all by herself in the middle of the night. Early bedtimes for everyone tonight!
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Aug 12, 2019 00:06
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His Divine Shadow posted:To me this sounds like she is exhausted like gently caress and running on fumes. Like she couldn't keep awake even if she wanted to. Our son was born with low birth weight, so was on a strict feeding regime. I can remember some nights in the first few weeks where we both woke up confused as hell and running on autopilot, probably quite similar to this lady.
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Aug 12, 2019 10:06
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We're on vacation. My dad takes our 3yo daughter to the bathroom, so we can continue to watch our 1yo son in the pool. Some rear end in a top hat in the bathroom says in disgust to his friend as he walks out, "I can't believe he'd bring his daughter into the men's restroom." Good for my dad in looking young enough to have a little daughter, but gently caress that guy in the bathroom. 
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Aug 12, 2019 13:02
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Good-Natured Filth posted:We're on vacation. My dad takes our 3yo daughter to the bathroom, so we can continue to watch our 1yo son in the pool. Some rear end in a top hat in the bathroom says in disgust to his friend as he walks out, "I can't believe he'd bring his daughter into the men's restroom." Where the gently caress is he supposed to take her? My daughter is four and if the family bathroom isn't free (or doesn't exist) we're going to use the "boy potty" because she's not going in the lady's room alone.
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Aug 12, 2019 13:18
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Good-Natured Filth posted:"I can't believe he'd bring his daughter into the men's restroom.": gently caress this idiot. If common sense, good judgement (that is to say, well applied) and maturity escapes him to this extent, then there was no way your Dad could change this idiot's attitude in the moment.
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Aug 12, 2019 14:56
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Good-Natured Filth posted:We're on vacation. My dad takes our 3yo daughter to the bathroom, so we can continue to watch our 1yo son in the pool. Some rear end in a top hat in the bathroom says in disgust to his friend as he walks out, "I can't believe he'd bring his daughter into the men's restroom." Ah ha ha ha. Either that guy has never had kids or he just never took them anywhere by himself. Also, family bathrooms are never free, I'm convinced they're just locked doors with nothing on the other side.
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Aug 12, 2019 15:09
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:She's a toddler, so the concept of "dangerous" isn't really something she's going to comprehend. I suspect part of what she's doing is enjoying the fact that you're reacting to her, and every time she escalates you do the same. In my experience (supported by research that my preschool teaching wife shared), there are two things that work well in this situation. Beer4TheBeerGod posted:He doesn't want to go to sleep and he knows he can manipulate you into delaying it as long as possible. My daughter is only 4 but we have established a routine and if she were to do the things your son is doing the consequence is that she would lose stories. Normally we read two per night, but that's a privilege. Taking things away isn't "being mean" it's being a parent. So I've been taking your advice into practice as much as I can, but I've quoted it in full here because:
I was wondering if there was anything more I could read on the matter, or indeed you could post, generally so I can get a better understanding on exactly how to do it etc. This leads to another question. I've started using a "naughty corner" concept. Generally if she's been told to stop something, for example, throwing soil from a houseplant on the carpet, but repeats it, I'll take her out of the room, stop anything distracting (e.g. quiet house) and sit her in the naughty corner for 1 or 2 minutes. I'll stand at the other end of the hall not looking at her (although I can see her in the corner of my eye), being quiet myself and not talking to her. If she gets up I'll gently sit her back down in the corner and say that she cannot leave as she's in the naughty corner. After the time has elapsed in full (e.g. 1 minute uninterrupted, but judgement applied) then I'll say she can get up, tell her again why she had to sit there and that she should say sorry to me/Mum and that we love her. I suppose my question is, am I doing that correctly and fairly?
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Aug 12, 2019 17:35
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Breast feeding and the fussy infant update. My wife went to the lactation specialist and she suspects, as y'all did, that it's an over production problem and that he's getting the thin watery foremilk but NOT getting the fatty milk because he gets too full (but never really actually sated) on the foremilk. So she recommended massaging the boob before feeding, and then block feeding on a single boob for like 6 hour blocks then switching to the other boob. And no pumping at all, but instead just letting the non-feeding-boob to drain into a Haakaa. I'm sure I got some of that wrong, but the idea is that the foremilk apparently wreaks havoc on the digestive system so we should see some improvement soon.
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Aug 12, 2019 17:59
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Heners_UK posted:So I've been taking your advice into practice as much as I can, but I've quoted it in full here because: I haven't found naughty corners or timeouts to be a useful concept for a toddler. They don't really understand why they're being made to sit, and rote repeating it doesn't really make an impact (source: my second kid (2yo) is a menace with high language skills and it doesn't work for him nor did it for his older sister). What DOES help is giving the impact of what the behavior is. If it's hitting, we do a big theatric show of crying and saying how we got hurt- "Asher hit me and it hurt my arm and I am SO SAD and scared of Asher's hands!!" If he's standing in his high chair, I ask him to sit down, "Because I'm worried you're going to fall and get a BIG BONK on your head and cry a lot because it hurts you." Usually that gets a startled OH and he sits down. He might stand again 5 minutes later, but it's because he forgot the conversation we just had, not because he's being naughty or disobedient. To use one of your examples: "You can't play with the house plant because you will hurt it and make it very sick and sad." and then redirect to an activity they CAN do that meets the need, whether it's making a mess they are allowed to make, or digging somewhere they can dig, or whatever. I DO use the concept with my 5 year old, but usually when either I or she need a few minutes away from each other to cool down after an incident. Then afterwards we hug and talk about what happened and what else we could do.
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Aug 12, 2019 18:59
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cailleask posted:I haven't found naughty corners or timeouts to be a useful concept for a toddler. They don't really understand why they're being made to sit, and rote repeating it doesn't really make an impact (source: my second kid (2yo) is a menace with high language skills and it doesn't work for him nor did it for his older sister). Likewise, when my son was 2-ish we had 'the pillow' that we put on the floor and made him sit on it while we told him what he did wrong (best as we could at that age). Now at almost 7 - he has to sit in a 'cool down' when he's done something terrifically bad. After he sits for a bit, we talk about what he did wrong in calm tones. Definitely working my way up to time outs worked for us - tough to enforce that when they are super little. 1up posted:My daughter played teeball in the Spring and I thought it was pretty excellent. Very laid back but still introducing and reinforcing structure. Tee ball is hilarious. It's a mash-up of MMA and baseball when the ball gets hit. Agent Burt Macklin fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Aug 13, 2019 |
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Aug 12, 2019 21:18
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cailleask posted:I haven't found naughty corners or timeouts to be a useful concept for a toddler. They don't really understand why they're being made to sit, and rote repeating it doesn't really make an impact (source: my second kid (2yo) is a menace with high language skills and it doesn't work for him nor did it for his older sister). Quoting this because it's one of the best summaries of correct timeout usage I've seen in this thread. Consider what a timeout was from the beginning, before Supernanny: A sports team captain or coach calls a timeout when the team has lost their balance and are in danger of losing the game. The aim is to let the situation cool down, gather the team, maybe give some advice, get a mental "reset" so the players are in the right frame of mind again. Timeouts for kids can be used the same way if done correctly. They are for defusing the situation, not for punishing anyone. A "parent timeout" can also be used if you struggle with your own temper and feel you are in danger of losing it: You tell the kid you'll be back, lock yourself in the bathroom or go and stand in the yard or whatever, for a minute. So much better than yelling at a kid (or, god forbid, hitting them). Edit: Additionally, your approach about "acting it out" when they hit you sounds like exactly the Inuit approach to discipline that I posted about months ago: Hippie Hedgehog posted:Hey so I read this interesting thing. [...] Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Aug 13, 2019 |
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Aug 13, 2019 19:21
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Any of you who are part-time daycare or no daycare—thoughts on going from full to part-time? We are considering doing this partially to save money as our finances are barely holding on, but that means two days a week I’m not running my business in favor of keeping our son and taking him to do activities. I’m mainly asking about development, learning, and socialization, though. He’s learning things at daycare we don’t have the time or mental wherewithal to teach him, or things we don’t even know to teach him, and we think that’s great—but, will there be a marked difference losing two days of learning there? Will he be starving for socialization? He’s already made friends at daycare. I know tons of people who don’t send to daycare and their kids are totally fine and awesome so that’s not my issue, just want to make sure we aren’t taking anything from him that will be valuable if we do this. He seems to do very well on the weekends and is generally a lot happier in the afternoons when he hasn’t been at daycare all day or when we pick him up before 3pm.
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Aug 15, 2019 01:54
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