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LoveMeDead posted:
I dont know what his health or age is like, but im 31 and got 500k for under $20/m. I used zander insurance http://www.zanderins.com/ and got a 20 year term.
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May 28, 2013 22:41
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I'm guessing mid 40+'s since we're talking about mid life crisis, with child who's a senior in highschool.
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May 28, 2013 22:44
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Don Lapre posted:I dont know what his health or age is like, but im 31 and got 500k for under $20/m. I used zander insurance http://www.zanderins.com/ and got a 20 year term. We are both 40. He has high blood pressure and some arthritis in his shoulder and knees, but no other health problems. He was 30ish when he got the policy so I don't know why it is so much.
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May 28, 2013 23:21
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LoveMeDead posted:What is Amazon mechanical Turk? *As in, $1/hr. You'd be using your time more effectively if you worked at McDonalds. Or made your teens work at McDonalds. Haifisch fucked around with this message at 23:24 on May 28, 2013 |
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May 28, 2013 23:22
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Here's another bit of advice: I do my PhD research at a cancer research centre, so we have access to a lot of the employee resources of the adjoining cancer treatment centre. Among the free workshops they provide is "financial literacy for healthcare workers". You may want to check at your work to see if they have something similar: mental wellness and a healthy home life are typical areas for a healthcare centre to try to support among their employees.
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May 28, 2013 23:23
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LoveMeDead posted:The rent is our estimate of what we will need to pay. We haven't been paying anything. We are going to do some cutting to our grocery budget, it has been $900 a month, so dropping it to $700 is a big cut. How much will you still owe on your current student loans once the 80% forgiveness kicks in? How much will you and your husband need to take out in student loans for him to do his 4 year course and for you to do grad school? I just wonder how realistic the plan for your husband to study full-time and work part-time for 4 years and for you to work full-time while doing post-grad study really is. Picking up extra shifts might be sustainable for the short-term, but is it really something you're going be be able to sustain long-term without falling apart? Chapter 7 does sound like a good option for you but your big problem is going to be avoiding getting yourself into another financial hole in the following years. It's not going to free up huge amounts of extra money per month and you're actively planning taking on more debt in the foreseeable future. Maybe some of those plans would be better put off until at least one of your kids has left home and your wages are supporting less people. You may like the husband yo have now, but I'm not sure that you can realistically afford for your husband to be working only part-time during some of the most expensive child-rearing years of all. Lolie fucked around with this message at 23:38 on May 28, 2013 |
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May 28, 2013 23:28
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Here's another bit of advice: I do my PhD research at a cancer research centre, so we have access to a lot of the employee resources of the adjoining cancer treatment centre. Among the free workshops they provide is "financial literacy for healthcare workers". You may want to check at your work to see if they have something similar: mental wellness and a healthy home life are typical areas for a healthcare centre to try to support among their employees. I work tonight so I'll look in to this. I work at a tiny hospital that is owned by a larger company, so there might be something. Lolie posted:How much will you still owe on your current student loans once the 80% forgiveness kicks in? How much will you and your husband need to take out in student loans for him to do his 4 year course and for you to do grad school? My loans will be completely forgiven in 15 years (12 years from now), and I'm on a income-based repayment plan. I think that after the 80% forgiveness I will owe about $3500. I can keep picking up extra shifts. I've worked 4 nights a week almost every week for the past year, with the occasional 5 nights. Four nights is easy. That gives me 8 hours of overtime a week. I usually have 3-4 hours of downtime at work, even when I have a CCU patient, and my boss has okay-ed me doing schoolwork as long as patient care doesn't suffer. My husband works evenings, so he has plenty of time to go to classes while I sleep and before work at 6pm.
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May 28, 2013 23:36
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LoveMeDead posted:The rent is our estimate of what we will need to pay. We haven't been paying anything. We are going to do some cutting to our grocery budget, it has been $900 a month, so dropping it to $700 is a big cut. For the rent: thanks for the clarification. I'd say see what you can find that's as low as possible, but I understand wanting to rent a good place and not a shithole. I don't know what the rental market is like in your area, so I'll leave that be, but best of luck in finding a nice place. Amazon mechanical Turk: http://www.mturk.com It's a place where you do little jobs online for very little pay. Usually 5-10 minutes each (sometimes much longer, but usually no more than an hour). It doesn't pay much, but if you work quickly and do a lot, it adds up. It's not enough to be a proper second job, but $50-200 a month could go a long way. There are also forums where you can find recs for good tasks that pay well and quickly (like MTurk forum and Turker Nation), and places for recs of good companies that put out jobs (like turkopticon). You may be too busy to do it, but you said your husband's working part-time, so he may have time in his schedule to do some. Even if it only pays a bill or two, or helps to cover fees for AP tests and the SATs, it's something. As for grad school, I know you don't want to put it off, but it's important to handle what's going on right now, even if it's just so you don't burn out. You don't want to have to handle work plus school plus getting your finances together. I know it's overwhelming, but take it one step at a time, tackling what needs the most attention first. Right now, you all need to get in a proper living situation. Sit down and work out the pluses and minuses of bankruptcy, including what happens short and long term if you go forward with it or not, and get more than one opinion if possible (from multiple sources, including those that'll know what will happen to the house in regards to your ownership, your ability to take out other non-educational loans, the medical bills, etc.). Put together a long term plan for you and your husband in terms of education and career. Shame about the waivers, but your kids sound like they're on the right track for preparing for college, so that's good. Like I said, best of luck to you, and just work through it all piece by piece in manageable chunks.
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May 28, 2013 23:44
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My husband is a computer engineer and if he puts his mind to it, he can design and build a board and do all the sautering bits and whatnot cause that's what he went to school for. But now he works at a company where he is making various devices and from what I understand (since most of what he talks about is beyond me) it's all about getting the boards from other companies and doing the programming to make it work. So unless your husband has a real passion for making the actual boards and chips himself, making devices do something is mostly programming. You find the company that makes the board with the features you want and write the program that makes it run with the things you want it to run with. Granted this is the perspective of an artist who tends to tune out when her husband really gets talking about it, but some of it sinks in, enough to guess that it's really his CS minor that he uses more than his CE degree. He gets a board, reads the manual and writes programs for it. Sure he can probably build the board himself, but in the real world it's cheaper and easier to pay another company to do it for you. And I'm talking esoteric stuff like small devices that connect to your TV and stream content. If your husband is thinking something like just plain desktops and servers then he definitely does not need to go through a CE degree. CS, and a focus on the programming languages that suit what he wants to do the most is probably his better bet. If he wants to go work for Intel and design the next Pentium, then CE is what he should do. But first, get your financial poo poo in order before half of your family is in college full time, that should be your biggest priority. See if he can defer for a year and find a full time job to build you guys up more of a nest egg and then when you're not living paycheck to paycheck in a leaky shack see about him going back to school. You need to start separating what you ACTUALLY need right now and what would be kinda nice to have, and I think a new degree (and the debt that goes with it) would definitely fall into the latter category.
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May 29, 2013 03:24
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What technical college is he going to?
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May 29, 2013 06:40
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Are those really the only two options? Technical school or restaurant management? There isn't a single other thing he can do that wont cause him severe anxiety and would still provide income for his family -- who desperately needs it right now?
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May 29, 2013 12:04
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Eris posted:Are those really the only two options? Technical school or restaurant management? There isn't a single other thing he can do that wont cause him severe anxiety and would still provide income for his family -- who desperately needs it right now? Seriously, even working full-time for $10/hour would get the family another 13 or 14 thousand dollars a year, which coincidentally would be enough for a house payment.
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May 29, 2013 13:04
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I'm 47 and work with computers (IT Director for a small company). I know that at my age, if I'm fired or laid off, my chances of ever reaching the level of employment I now have are absolutely zero. I'd say the chances of first time employment for someone 44 without experience are equally dismal. The IT industry is for the very young or people with years of experience who started when they were very young. The more highly specialized you get (like hardware engineering) the more true that is. My advice for someone that age looking to retrain and move up economically would be a nursing degree. Something that is in demand in a lot of geographic locations and that you can train for in a short period of time at a reasonably priced community or state college. My personal escape plan is a 2 year MSW from the local state college.
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May 29, 2013 13:51
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Please do have a long talk with him about school and what it is that he really plans to do with this degree. People are bringing up valid points here. You guys are struggling financially, it's a full-time four year program so he'll be 44 when it's over, you have two kids heading for college soon, his degree means taking on non-dischargeable debt...this fall may not be the time and this program may not be the program. If you two can't afford for him to have delays in getting a job afterward, if his work means moving somewhere you don't want to or can't afford to move, if there's a chance he'll get this degree and then end up at the same salary level or below what he used to make, he shouldn't go into this. A forty year old man with a wife and kids doesn't have the luxury of starting over to do what he loves if it means financial disaster. He needs to consider the practicalities of what a new degree will do for him career-wise, not what he wishes it would do.
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May 29, 2013 13:52
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Also, as the primary breadwinner, the person who needs life insurance isn't your husband, it's you!
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May 29, 2013 14:01
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LoveMeDead posted:It is a 4 year technical college. He doesn't like online programs (he tried something a few years ago). OK, this makes more sense but is a bit worrying. There are only a few accredited engineering schools in Tennessee and none of them are what you would call a 'technical college.' Do you mean a Vocational/Technical school with a degree/certification program? Those are quite common in the South, and are like vocation oriented community colleges. They offer an associates program or certification program, but not a BS, BE, or BS&E degree. They will label their programs as 'mechanical engineering' when they really mean 'mechanic,' 'electrical engineering' when they mean 'electrician,' etc. A 'computer engineering' program from this school where you learn to 'build computers and computer systems' sounds like a glorified A+ certification. If this is true (which it may not be, but until you can provide more pertinent information, it sounds like it is on target), then your husband will come out the other end qualified to be an 'IT guy.' He will, in all likelihood, spend very little time building computers and computer systems, as that is a tiny portion of the workload of a typical 'IT guy.' He will spend his time installing anti-virus and Office productivity software on laptops from Dell/Lenovo/HP/Apple. When they break, he will ship them back. He will keep spreadsheets of barcode inventory readouts. He will answer trouble tickets. Typically, the best he will be able to do is be a sys. admin or DBA if he studies in his spare time. I don't want to assume this is what you mean, because you could be referring to Tennessee Tech as a 'technical college.' But unless you are talking about an accredited engineering college that offers a BS, BE, or BSE, then what I described is accurate. And in the rural South or Midwest, you are looking at an entry level earnings potential of $20k-$30k ($30k-$40k in less rural areas), and an average max around $50k-$60k after many many years. Additionally the wage growth for these jobs is stagnant, as the supply of qualified people is growing faster than the industry.
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May 29, 2013 15:01
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Eris posted:Also, as the primary breadwinner, the person who needs life insurance isn't your husband, it's you! This isn't true at all. Both of them need life insurance. Even stay at home moms and dads have a monetary value in what they do.
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May 29, 2013 15:55
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LoveMeDead posted:He's going to take the advice and try contacting people. He wants to build computers and computer systems (his words). That's still pretty vague. Does he want to build certain parts of the computer or just computers? Keep in mind that building the actual hardware likely require moving to a location where that work is available. Its not something you can just do anywhere. I'm also wondering what you mean by technical college? I have a family member with a computer engineer degree, and its my understanding that the job prospects for that degree are pretty competitive, so its worrying if he's trying to skimp on education. Also, ageism is a thing in the technical fields (its rather expected that a 40-something would be in management).
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May 29, 2013 16:23
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Just reading over everything...I can see money being tight for you, but in no way should getting by -- even with a few luxuries -- be impossible. That being said, you need to make compromises. Given the age of your kids, I wouldn't worry about where they go to school too much. By that age, you get out what you put in. They also should have part time jobs, even if it's just to make enough to cover car insurance, gas, and a bit of fun money. You and hubby need to put schooling for yourselves on the backburner for now. And while it's great that he's found something he likes and doesn't stress him out, he needs more hours or something else that pays better or is full time. Given your $3380 a month figure earlier, what you say you make, and factoring in the 350 your son with SSI contributes, your husband puts in at most 400 a month towards the family finances. That's just not enough in your current situation. Rough Budget for y'all at this time: 3380 -800 rent -280 car -180 car insurance -200 utils (living in a less lovely house will help) -100 phone -600 food (yes, this is tight, but I think 150 a week is reasonable to shoot for) -100 personal supplies -25 netflix -150 clothes (Sounds high, but there are 5 of you). -200 entertainment -50 student loan -150 school stuff/camps for kids (it can move to the college funds if unused) -100 medical (co pays, prescriptions, etc.) -245 misc -200 savings Use envelopes for each category, at least until you're used to it. Yes, I'm serious.
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May 29, 2013 16:52
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Don Lapre posted:This isn't true at all. Both of them need life insurance. Even stay at home moms and dads have a monetary value in what they do. Definitely so, but with kids as old as hers? Not as much. And if you're only going to pay for one policy ...
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May 29, 2013 18:27
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Eris posted:Definitely so, but with kids as old as hers? Not as much. And if you're only going to pay for one policy ... Ohh yea, i forget the age part. Once the kids are out of the picture its not as big of a deal .
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May 29, 2013 18:37
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I'd like to point out that it's easy to not notice how much food cost is getting "wasted" to snacking. My brother will make 3-4 hotdogs, and then 2hrs later I'll see him making a tv dinner, and then not long after that he could be polishing off half a bag of chips. It was worse when he was a teenager. I've even pointed out to him, "didn't you just eat XX like an hour ago?", and his response is usually no, but then he thinks about it and remembers he did actually eat, but is hungry again. My parents would compensate by buying more, wondering where all the food went, and the increased supply in the house just meant my brother was snacking even more often. It was often gone in the same amount of time, even though there was more of it. However, if he put some in a bowl, rather than running off with the bag/box, the snack would last longer into the week. Like other people have said, not only do you need to plan out a budget, meals, and lists before shopping, but you probably also need to cut way back on snacks, or at least come up with cheaper snacks. If you can cut down on any potential mindless snacking, or cheapen it, you can save a lot of money. For example, if everyone likes yogurt, buy a big tub of it for snacking (flavored, or plain & buy fruit people can mix in), rather than personal size ones. I don't know if you have anything like this where you are, but if you can find some kind of meat store, you can probably get large amounts much cheaper than a grocery store. My husband and I spent $60 on various meat (chicken breasts, ground beef, steaks; it was a good amount), and it lasted us 3 weeks. That was with dishes containing meat several nights a week, and we probably still had room to cut down on the amount of meat we put into each dish, possibly stretching it out for a fourth week. I know you have 5 people, but you can still probably do similarly as well per person. Allergies are a tough one, but pickiness isn't. When you can't afford to be picky, that's just the way things go. People have to make more compromises than they like, but you can't give in to stuff like that when you're walking such a tight line with paying bills. Some kind of portion control with both meals and snacks would probably help lower food costs. The same can be said for personal supplies. Write out a list ahead of time, keep any eye on when things are getting low, and try to stretch things out for longer. Things like toilet paper and paper towels can be expensive, especially if people are using way more than they need. To use my brother as an example again, he'll use two paper towels every time, when he really only needs one. If you use thicker toilet paper, people don't need to use as many sheets as they will with a thinner ones (this seems to equal out since thinner ones are generally offset by being cheaper). I would sit the family down and have a meeting on this. Figure out how much toiletries/etc the household actually needs to make it through the month, and buy those things monthly instead of weekly (if you can); whatever frequent use things are generally cheaper per item to buy in a larger quantity. Have everyone make lists of what they use monthly, and use that to determine how much to buy, and make sure they know it has to last until the next shopping date for that stuff. Also, don't do multiple trips to the stores. This is why lists & planning ahead of time come in handy. Not only is it extra gas spent (unless it's on your way), but every time you go back to grab something you forgot, you're likely to walk out with extra stuff you didn't need. Even if you were going to need it eventually, the fact that you bought it early, and there's now more of it readily available at home, makes people use the current stock up faster (without care), because there isn't a lack of the product to make them think "Oh crap, this has to last me X more days. I better watch how much I use." A lot of it boils down to habit, and breaking bad portion/usage controls with every consumable. Normally, entertainment would be the first thing I'd cut down on, but you already only pay a small amount for Netflix/hulu. The internet cost seems, at least to me, like you should be able to find something cheaper. I don't know what you have, but there must be at least a couple other options to reduce the cost some (without giving up too much speed). I would stop with contributing to college funds for the time being. It's a really nice thing to do for your kids, but having a livable structure is more important at the moment. Plus, they still have time to work toward finding/getting scholarships. I don't know if you have programs down there like I did, but in addition to AP courses in high school, my school had "early admission" program. It allowed good students to take courses at the local community college during their senior year of high school (instead of going to high school). It was a cheaper rate per credit, and the classes gave college credit (of course), as well as counting toward the last few credits I needed to finish high school. And I was able to transfer those credits with me to another college after I graduated. As for the life insurance, I thought I remembered in the insurance thread that someone said not to drop it once you've got it, because the older you get, the more expensive it is to get on it. I would look into switching to a cheaper company, like someone else mentioned, before considering dropping it entirely if that's the case. I think someone mentioned this, but if the vehicle your son drive uses so much gas, you should look into getting something else. You can probably find someone willing to do an even trade, or sell it for whatever it's worth, and use the money to buy a car that's good on gas. I'm assuming it's a cheap beater, which shouldn't be too hard to find something equally cheap and much better on gas.
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May 29, 2013 18:54
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LoveMeDead posted:It is a 4 year technical college. He doesn't like online programs (he tried something a few years ago). If he's still interested in doing some kind of IT, I've heard good things about WGU's online program. I know he said he didn't like online programs but it might be worth looking into. It's done at your own pace which might be good for someone prone to anxiety. And last I looked their IT degrees also leave you with like 15 certifications. But yeah this is all assuming that he must go back to school.
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May 29, 2013 19:28
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IdeoPhanthus posted:I don't know if you have programs down there like I did, but in addition to AP courses in high school, my school had "early admission" program. It allowed good students to take courses at the local community college during their senior year of high school (instead of going to high school). It was a cheaper rate per credit, and the classes gave college credit (of course), as well as counting toward the last few credits I needed to finish high school. And I was able to transfer those credits with me to another college after I graduated. As for the life insurance, I thought I remembered in the insurance thread that someone said not to drop it once you've got it, because the older you get, the more expensive it is to get on it. I would look into switching to a cheaper company, like someone else mentioned, before considering dropping it entirely if that's the case. I know it sounds really attractive when people pitch "you could pay $90 for a credit now, or $200 for a credit later" at you, but it's not saving money if your kids spend the same amount of time in school with or without the AP credits. (Arguably the kids could just drop to part-time for a semester or two, but most financial aid programs apply to full-time students only, so it's questionable if that would save them any money.) quote:snacking
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May 29, 2013 22:29
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I agree with a lot of the advice in this thread, especially the skepticism about IT prospects for a 40-something with no background, but it distracts from the biggest point: Even without a mortgage or rent payment, they're going into the red. Snack budgets don't matter much compared to $900 in "misc." Why was buying a tent more important than saving for a security deposit, OP? I guess at least you own something more waterproof than your roof.
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May 29, 2013 22:53
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So much to reply to. We only make one trip to the store per week. At most, we will run to the local store for milk by Wednesday if we run out. We go grocery shopping every Friday. We have come up with some ideas with the kids on snacks, and they are on board with simpler things. Mostly now we don't buy pre-packaged stuff for them, except granola bars for breakfasts and some chips. We are going to cut that out and get baking supplies and oatmeal. We already get fresh fruit and veggies for snacks. Our daughter said as long as she has eggs and some sort of bread, she's good for the summer. Our 17 year old has slowed down with his eating, which is helpful. My husband is looking into more options. He is going to go to Tennessee Tech, which is a 4 year college. He knows what he wants to do, I just got "build computers" out of what he said. I don't need to understand it. He's going to talk to some people and look more into job prospects once he graduates. He's also upset that I'm getting advice from random people on the internet.  He's going to call the life insurance company tomorrow to see about getting a cheaper policy. We bought a tent because it was a good deal, and we are on staff for a local festival. Our tent was ripped and we needed a place to sleep while we were there. We go camping several times a year, so it seemed like a good investment. We already said no to our son doing a dual-enrollment class. It would have cost us $350 for the class, but would have given him credit for English I and II. However, he would be in school for the same amount of time, so it doesn't save us money. AP classes will help him get in to college. We are going tomorrow to see a house in the area that is only $650 a month. We can squeeze out the security deposit and rent in a few weeks if we have to.
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May 29, 2013 23:08
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LoveMeDead posted:My husband is looking into more options. He is going to go to Tennessee Tech, which is a 4 year college. He knows what he wants to do, I just got "build computers" out of what he said. I don't need to understand it. He's going to talk to some people and look more into job prospects once he graduates. He's also upset that I'm getting advice from random people on the internet. The guy who hides financial information from you because he doesn't want to deal with it doesn't get to be upset when you ask other people for help.
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May 30, 2013 00:05
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Briantist posted:It's been said a lot already (and archangelwar is particularly on point in this matter) but building computers, as we're interpreting it, is not a job. We're assuming he means "buy parts on newegg and make a computer" and if that's the case, there's no money in it. I'm not necessarily interpreting it that way. Even if his goal is to, for example, work at Intel, he's still going to have a ridiculously uphill battle. I hate to be that shithead nay-sayer, but the time to pursue your dreams is not when your family is deeply in the red. LoveMeDead posted:I don't need to understand it. You need to understand it. Your finances are entwine, so hubby taking on debt so he can go to school is something that absolutely concerns you. LoveMeDead posted:He's going to talk to some people and look more into job prospects once he graduates. How long until he graduates? Waiting until you graduate to think about how you're going to transition your education into a career is too late. He should already have some good idea what the prospects are like, and what the game plan is after graduation. Its one thing to be a fresh out of college 20-year old and still have gaps in your plans, its another to be a 40-year old with financial obligations. Frankly, this school thing is the most concerning part of the thread. I sympathize with your husbands desire for fulfilling work, but it doesn't sound like the appropriate time. This is coming off as Zaurg Wife version 2.
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May 30, 2013 00:19
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OP, I know this question is going to sounds a bit e/nish, but it sounds to me like you feel a huge obligation to support your husband in living his dream and that you're willing to bear almost all of the financial responsibility for the family in order to enable him to do that. You mentioned that you've only been working for the last couple of years, so I wonder if at some level you're feeling that it's "his turn" and that you "owe" it to him to support his dream whether or not you can afford to do so. You feel stressed and overwhelmed by the financial pressure you're under now - a pressure you're almost bound to revisit unless you can permanently change the habits which brought you to this place. A couple of people have mentioned zaurg, and I'd strongly urge you to read the zaurg threads. By your own admission, you're bad with managing money and your husband hides and/or ignores things. Until both of those things change, any reprieve you get by walking away from the house and/or bankruptcy will only be temporary. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3175682 On paper, you're telling us that you're already doing a lot of the "right" things, but I get the sense that the information we have is somehow incomplete and that we need a bigger picture. You posted last month's expenses but said that budget was an "exception" with regard to some of the high expenditure. Can you post budgets from the months before that, because I'm concerned that you're in a zaurg-like rut where you have "exceptional" expenses every month and probably developed a "we'd be OK but something always comes up just when we think we're getting on top of things" mentality. People have given you some great advice about how to cut your expenses, but ultimately financial stability is more about attitudes than it is about individual actions. If you're absolutely determined for your husband to do this particular course, then perhaps you should consider tying it to a financial milestone, such as when you have 6 months worth of regular expenses plus a $5000 emergency fund saved. Apart from anything else, this would give your husband an incentive to contribute more to the household financially than he is currently. Also, how is your husband planning on commuting to tech? You've mentioned that the rural area in which you live is sufficiently small that your son has to drive to school and that there aren't really any jobs your teenagers could get to earn their own spending money, so I assume your husband will have to commute a fair distance to tech, which will also affect your budget (possibly a lot). Also, it sounds like your husband is timing finishing his course with your two younger kids leaving home. While I get that kind of thinking, it's more important that he be a significant financial contributor while they're at home that after they leave (when you and he can live an absolutely spartan lifestyle if necessary, with minimal impact on others). Does your eldest child's disability payment increase as he gets older? Lolie fucked around with this message at 01:17 on May 30, 2013 |
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May 30, 2013 00:57
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ryde posted:I'm not necessarily interpreting it that way. Even if his goal is to, for example, work at Intel, he's still going to have a ridiculously uphill battle. I hate to be that shithead nay-sayer, but the time to pursue your dreams is not when your family is deeply in the red. I think they aren't really in that bad a position. A family income of ~50k in a rural area with no credit card debt means that all they need to do is stick to a realistic budget and they will be fine. Its not like other threads where people have tens of thousands on high rate credit cards which they will need to pay off over several years while living frugally. I agree though that the job prospects for her husband don't look so great. If he is in his 40's now and its a 4 year course he will be almost 50 when he graduates. He can't apply to senior roles requiring 10+ years exp because he doesn't have it, so he will apply to junior/graduate roles I guess alongside 20 year olds. That said its not like its entirely impossible someone will give him a chance at some entry level role paying $35-55k which is what he is hoping for I guess. You'd probably have to move somewhere else with more job prospects in that field too.
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May 30, 2013 01:19
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I have to admit I chuckled a bit when you said your husband bristled at you getting advice from the internet. That is, since doing this all on your own has gone so well. I think he should come on here and defend his decisions(which he is of course dead set on and won't budge.) Is he just in complete denial about the state of your finances? I want to know what he thinks happens when three members of your family all take out loans at once when you are financially insolvent. (Ignoring the potential second car of course.) Sorry if I sound harsh but you need to have a Serious Talk with him at the very least. Frankly, I'm guessing this will be hard to do effectively, which is why I suggested him posting here. Strangers can really deliver a reality check like no other.
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May 30, 2013 01:41
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Applebee123 posted:I think they aren't really in that bad a position. A family income of ~50k in a rural area with no credit card debt means that all they need to do is stick to a realistic budget and they will be fine. Its not like other threads where people have tens of thousands on high rate credit cards which they will need to pay off over several years while living frugally. At this point we don't really know their actual debt level. Chances are that they're going to owe the bank after the foreclosure auction, and they haven't yet committed to a way of addressing that debt. The OP has non-dischargeable student loans which will be largely forgiven eventually but eventually is still a long way away and the forgiveness is contingent on her continuing to meet the criteria for loan forgiveness and they're still looking at taking on more non-dischargeable debt in the near future. Yes, they can turn this around fairly easily - but only if they make the right financial choices about major things in addition to sticking to a realistic budget. We're a couple of days away from a new month, so it's the ideal time for the OP to test a new budget. Even if they're not currently paying anything for housing, she really needs to set a month's rent aside when she next gets paid so they can afford the deposit on a rental property when they find one and also so they make the mental shift necessary to survive on their new budget. OP, have you had a look at the budget thread and decided on which strategy you think might work for your family? If you're going to start sticking to a budget in June, you're going to need to choose whether you're going the envelope, jar, separate accounts, or whatever route within the next day. That means next time you go to the grocery store, you take only the amount you've budgeted with you. It means next time you purchase gas, you buy the amount you'll need for the next week (I promise you that if you fill the tank, you're going to use your entire month's budget for gas in less than a month). You're planning on starting your new financial life in a couple of days so I'd really like to hear what strategies you're going to employ to help you stick to your proposed budget. Lolie fucked around with this message at 05:02 on May 30, 2013 |
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May 30, 2013 01:50
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I'm working now, and worked last night so I haven't gotten much chance to discuss things further with my husband. We both have today off so we are going to finalize our June budget tonight. When I said I don't need to understand exactly what he wants to do, I meant that. I need to know that what he wants to do is something that he can make s living at. And I didn't mean that he was going to wait until graduation to look at job prospects, he needs till look at what the prospects will be now. I worded that badly. I do feel some obligation. He worked his rear end off at jobs he often hated so I could stay home with our kids and then go to nursing school. I love my job and want him to do something he loves.
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May 30, 2013 08:02
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Jeffrey posted:I have to admit I chuckled a bit when you said your husband bristled at you getting advice from the internet. That is, since doing this all on your own has gone so well. I think he should come on here and defend his decisions(which he is of course dead set on and won't budge.) Is he just in complete denial about the state of your finances? I want to know what he thinks happens when three members of your family all take out loans at once when you are financially insolvent. (Ignoring the potential second car of course.) Sorry if I sound harsh but you need to have a Serious Talk with him at the very least. Frankly, I'm guessing this will be hard to do effectively, which is why I suggested him posting here. Strangers can really deliver a reality check like no other. That's why I turned to the internet. None of my close friends are financially stable, so I don't think they could give great advice. He knows we are in trouble. I think he just sees that we should be doing ok and feels ok with our budget. I'm not sure I can get him to post here though. Maybe, I'll talk to him this afternoon.
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May 30, 2013 08:07
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I totally get your sense of obligation, but there also has to be some realism. Sure, you now love your job, but the job you love earns a nice wage, had a decent barrier to entry and works with your lifestyle. Your dream job wasn't ballerina or cabinet maker or video game play tester. If he was going to school for something that would obviously and easily bring in money, then you wouldn't be getting this kind of feedback. That's what we mean when we say you have to understand what he wants to do. Is this computer thing a "nurse" job, or a "ballet dancer" job. It seems like the more knowledgable goons think its on the ballet category. You guys have a lot of things that are important to you. Job happiness, higher education for kids, working at festivals, family time camping, etc. Those are all good things. But so is having a roof over your head, and financial security. You've been living above your means, for whatever reasons, for a long time now, so even though you may have felt you have sacrificed in the past -- it wasn't enough. You have a lot of catching up to do, and something has to give.
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May 30, 2013 11:55
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LoveMeDead posted:My husband is looking into more options. He is going to go to Tennessee Tech, which is a 4 year college. He knows what he wants to do, I just got "build computers" out of what he said. I don't need to understand it. He's going to talk to some people and look more into job prospects once he graduates. He's also upset that I'm getting advice from random people on the internet. OK, that is different. TTU is an accredited engineering university. Yes, it has Tech(nical) in the name, but generally 'technical school' indicates vo-tech. With that said, he actually wants to get a degree specifically in CompE. CompE is an extremely rigorous major, and he should be prepared for the fact that he may not be able to handle it along with a part time job if he expects to graduate in 4 years. Additionally I want to repeat my earlier statements about job prospects. I am not sure if his advisor is working off current statistics, but market analysts forecast very slow growth in the industry. And while I tend to not put as much stock in Agism in tech as most people do due to the Nintendo generation growing old, for a day 1 entry level position, this will absolutely be huge in a supply heavy market. Also, his coursework and his real work will include software development in some capacity. I say this as a former CompE major.
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May 30, 2013 14:40
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blackmet posted:Just reading over everything...I can see money being tight for you, but in no way should getting by -- even with a few luxuries -- be impossible. That being said, you need to make compromises. That budget is pretty close to what we are looking at. Gas isn't included it in. And we don't really need 200/month for entertainment. Our food budget is $700 for June, we spent $815 in May so I think that is a reasonable cut. We'll keep trying to cut it further. Total: 3664 Rent 800 Food 700 Car 280 Car insurance 170 Gas 400 (until we get a better car) Utilities 350 Netflix/Hulu 18 Personal care 100 Education 150 Student loan 46 Medical 100 Phone 100 Clothes 100 (reasonable, we shop at goodwill for most clothes. Just not shoes and underwear) Entertainment 150 Savings 200
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May 30, 2013 22:32
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LoveMeDead posted:Rent 800 Sorry if I'm covering old ground but I was under the impression that you didn't currently have a rent/mortgage payment. Is that right and this your estimated rent for June? If so, that combined with your $200 savings should be stuck into a savings account ASAP and you have your emergency fund. For every month that you don't have a payment keep moving that $800 + $200 into savings until you do actually move. I can't stress enough how critical it is that the money be moved out of your regular checking account so it doesn't get spent somewhere else. And make absolutely sure that money doesn't get dipped into for any reason other than when your ready to move. That way when you are finally ready to leave your current place you'll be able to write a check for the new place and it will be one less thing you'll have to worry about while working through everything else.
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May 31, 2013 01:03
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TouchyMcFeely posted:Sorry if I'm covering old ground but I was under the impression that you didn't currently have a rent/mortgage payment. Is that right and this your estimated rent for June? We are planning on putting that money straight in to savings for this month. We have probably found a place that is $650/month. My husband is most likely going to file Chapter 7, so we are saving towards the lawyer fee for that.
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May 31, 2013 01:25
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Excellent. Sounds like you're making progress on the most pressing issue. I didn't see a category for legal fees however. You should include that separately in the budget and figure out where the money is coming from to cover it. I would also rename "Savings" to "Emergency Fund" with a target of $1000. Part of the process of cleaning all this up is to have specific goals so you know where you're headed and when you've arrived. You would probably do well to take a minute or two and read up on the Baby Step process as well. I'm not a shill for Ramsey but he's the best resource I'm aware of for working towards a stable financial footing.
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May 31, 2013 03:22
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