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DupaDupa
May 21, 2009

I'm Samurai Mike
I stop 'em cold.

Chichevache posted:

Allen was doing great against D'Brickashaw. Got tons of pressure and was actually beating him on some plays.

Then you realize that he sold out on the pass so hard that the runningback didn't ever need to try and avoid Allen, since he did a great job of taking himself out of plays.

Allen said he's coached to crash down first and then help with the run second. So far thats translated into tons of hurries but against a depleted secondary that doesn't really mean much. :v:

At least it makes the reads for linebackers a bit easier I guess.

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C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
While I'm pretty sure the Lions are the better team, last time they played the Jets they lost in part off of a missed Suh PAT so I'm taking nothing for granted this Sunday. Someone help me figure out how to feel going in to it.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

Lee Harvey Oswald posted:

Goddamn, are the Packers ever gonna get to play at home?

Uh, they just beat the Jets in Lambeau last week? I mean, are you actually watching the games or...?

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

Lee Harvey Oswald posted:

Goddamn, are the Packers ever gonna get to play at home?

I'd rather they didn't, because they make I-43 so crowded that it's at a standstill and makes going to the store a loving nightmare. Please move Lambeau to Madison.

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013



C-Euro posted:

While I'm pretty sure the Lions are the better team, last time they played the Jets they lost in part off of a missed Suh PAT so I'm taking nothing for granted this Sunday. Someone help me figure out how to feel going in to it.

The last time they played it was 2010 and the Jets were a significantly better team back then. They had Revis in his prime to shut down Calvin Johnson, and now they have converted strong safety Antonio Allen. The Jets offense hasn't been able to finish drives against anybody this season despite going up against three putrid defenses. The Jets had a short week to prepare. You should be feeling pretty confident that this will be a win.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

DupaDupa posted:

Allen said he's coached to crash down first and then help with the run second. So far thats translated into tons of hurries but against a depleted secondary that doesn't really mean much. :v:

At least it makes the reads for linebackers a bit easier I guess.

Alright. I wasn't sure how much of it was scheme and how much was DE diva behavior. (gonna make that a thing now)

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

No Butt Stuff posted:

Someone enshrine this post forever, so we can have it as proof forever.

The Chiefs will lose and that poor bastard is going to have to find out how right Parm is the hard way.

#downwithtinyhands

HappyHelmet
Apr 9, 2003

Hail to the king baby!
Grimey Drawer
No matchups for Seattle this week, but I will say that early bye weeks need to go away. The earliest bye week for a team should be week 7. It's such bullshit that some teams get stuck having there bye week this early in the season.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

commy gun posted:

The Chiefs will lose and that poor bastard is going to have to find out how right Parm is the hard way.

#downwithtinyhands

thnx 4 da support in this trying time

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer
I'm not ready to live in a world where Parm does not openly, irrationally, and unapologetically hate Alex Smith. Go Patriots.

windshipper
Jun 19, 2006

Dr. Whet Faartz would like to know if this smells funny to you?

commy gun posted:

The Chiefs will lose and that poor bastard is going to have to find out how right Parm is the hard way.

#downwithtinyhands

And I will document every single moment of it. :getin:

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Chilichimp posted:

I'm not ready to live in a world where Parm does not openly, irrationally, and unapologetically hate Alex Smith. Go Patriots.

I will still hate him, I will just do it quietly

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

sword_man.gif posted:

I think the Falcons will beat Minnesota but what the gently caress do I know considering I expected falcons-bucs to be close.

The Vik's have some inherent weaknesses coming into this game. Most notably, their franchise player is a loving pile of human garbage and has been sidelined indefinitely.

The second is both a weakness and a strength: they are starting a rookie QB in his very first game. It's a weakness for obvious reasons, but why is it a strength? He's replacing Matt Cassel, a known quantity who has likely already hit his 8-foot ceiling.

The Falcons are significantly banged up on offense. In bizarre turn of events, Julio Jones is the only receiver that isn't banged up. Roddy White, Harry Douglas, and Devin Hester were all sidelined for practice on Monday. Antone Smith, our speedy back with real potential to take it to the house at any time from anywhere on the field, has an injured hamstring.

Jake Matthews triumphant return from an ankle injury proved two things. One, with him on the left, this team has the kind of offense that can hang 50 points on an opponent; and two, Gabe Carimi has turned a corner in his storied bullshit career and has become a serviceable tackle against average opposition.

I'm not blind, I saw the fits that the Vik's were putting Brees through last week, so there is concern that Matt Ryan will also become somewhat nullified due to being suplexed 8 yards behind the line of scrimmage. I'm excited for the match-up and hoping for a road win. Like it or not, this depleted Vikings team is the kind of contest that good teams win.

Vikings fans: Atlanta's D is bad, ya'll. Expect your fresh-young QB to look decent out there.

FooF
Mar 26, 2010
Titans @ Colts

I don't think Luck & Co. will have a field day like they had against the Jags but the Titans aren't that good. Locker is hurt (who'da thunk it) and the Colts might get the Football Jesus Experience. If Whitehurst starts, the anemic Titans offense will only be worse. Defensively, the Titans aren't bad but the Colts have been surprisingly successful on the ground and Luck is still Luck. The Titans secondary has some pretty weak links and the Colts are stacked at receiver. I believe TY Hilton is OK after an ankle injury and rookie Donte Moncrief showed promise in his absence against the Jags.

Yet, for all the advantages they have on paper, the Colts have rarely blown the Titans out. Even dominant teams during the Peyton-era found ways to lose to Tennessee (RIP Rob Bironas and your 60-yard game-winning FG). My biggest fear as a Colts fan is a Pep Hamilton "GROUND N' POUND" gameplan that is way to conservative considering the match-up advantages the Colts have in the passing game. I expect this to be a bit closer than it should be but the Colts still win.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

I don't think it is possible in one million universes that the eagles win at Santa Clara on Sunday. Cross continent after a tough division game with multiple important injuries. The Niners are fighting for their season and Vernon Davis is playing? This is a lock Santa Clara victory.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


euphronius posted:

I don't think it is possible in one million universes that the eagles win at Santa Clara on Sunday. Cross continent after a tough division game with multiple important injuries. The Niners are fighting for their season and Vernon Davis is playing? This is a lock Santa Clara victory.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
The Chargers are beat up and a lot of players aren't practicing and a lot of guys are hurt.

They will beat the Jaguars by 20.

Slate Action
Feb 13, 2012

by exmarx

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

The Chargers are beat up and a lot of players aren't practicing and a lot of guys are hurt.

They will beat the Jaguars by 20.

Prepare to be Bortled.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

FooF posted:

Titans @ Colts

I don't think Luck & Co. will have a field day like they had against the Jags but the Titans aren't that good. Locker is hurt (who'da thunk it) and the Colts might get the Football Jesus Experience. If Whitehurst starts, the anemic Titans offense will only be worse. Defensively, the Titans aren't bad but the Colts have been surprisingly successful on the ground and Luck is still Luck. The Titans secondary has some pretty weak links and the Colts are stacked at receiver. I believe TY Hilton is OK after an ankle injury and rookie Donte Moncrief showed promise in his absence against the Jags.

Yet, for all the advantages they have on paper, the Colts have rarely blown the Titans out. Even dominant teams during the Peyton-era found ways to lose to Tennessee (RIP Rob Bironas and your 60-yard game-winning FG). My biggest fear as a Colts fan is a Pep Hamilton "GROUND N' POUND" gameplan that is way to conservative considering the match-up advantages the Colts have in the passing game. I expect this to be a bit closer than it should be but the Colts still win.

I wouldn't call the colt wr stacked but the titans are on the path to mariota so colts will win. And yes RIP Rob Bironas you were one of the best

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Slate Action posted:

Prepare to be Bortled.

He's going to bortle at least three passes right to Charger defensive backs

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE
As Bart Scott would say,
CAN'T WAIT
for Bills vs. Texans.

Main reason is I love Ryan Fitzpatrick.

He has a great self-aware sense of humor too.

Fitzpatrick on what happened against Giants

quote:

You've all seen it before. It was me forcing the ball, making bad decisions
Oh Fitzpatrick you loveable rapscallion who can stay mad atcha?


also on seeing so many No. 14 jerseys in Bills stands.

quote:

Support for me has really grown in the last year!

Fitzpatrick rules.
Texans fans I realize he's a total fuckup.
But you'll be surprised how much you'll miss him when he's gone. :(

latinotwink1997
Jan 2, 2008

Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!


pasaluki posted:

As Bart Scott would say,
CAN'T WAIT
for Bills vs. Texans.

Main reason is I love Ryan Fitzpatrick.

He has a great self-aware sense of humor too.

Fitzpatrick on what happened against Giants

Oh Fitzpatrick you loveable rapscallion who can stay mad atcha?


also on seeing so many No. 14 jerseys in Bills stands.


Fitzpatrick rules.
Texans fans I realize he's a total fuckup.
But you'll be surprised how much you'll miss him when he's gone. :(

I just liked how he pitched his wife and kid(s) out of the house so half the team could stay over and practice for like a month or something.

Pork Chops Aplenty
Jan 11, 2008

Chilichimp posted:

I'm not ready to live in a world where Parm does not openly, irrationally, and unapologetically hate Alex Smith. Go Patriots.

Next on the toxx list: kawalimus

This week's prediction: I'm somewhat confident that for once the browns don't lose in heartbreaking fashion as time expires....

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

He's going to bortle at least three passes right to Charger defensive backs

I will chortle
When the Chargers are Bortled
And Ross withdraws like a turtle
Glancing at the forums through his porthole (?:shrug:)

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

I Own Soulz posted:

I just liked how he pitched his wife and kid(s) out of the house so half the team could stay over and practice for like a month or something.

And yet is romantic enough to be the only QB to wear his wedding ring when he's playing.
Truly a man for all seasons.

Toaster Beef
Jan 23, 2007

that's not nature's way

Chichevache posted:

I will chortle
When the Chargers are Bortled
And Ross withdraws like a turtle
Glancing at the forums through his porthole (?:shrug:)

The Chargers weren't ready for Bortles
Who proved they were nothing but mortals
But the AFC West
Is pathetic at best
So they'll pick it apart like a morsel

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
Ross's mom won't get to see Bortles
Cuz she can't afford the stadiums whore tolls
She spent all day at work
Giving lots of guys jerks
But it would pay better if she just used her holes
:tipshat:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Toaster Beef
Jan 23, 2007

that's not nature's way
Roses are brown
Violets are brown
Everything is brown now
Because you covered it in poo poo

Ramadu
Aug 25, 2004

2015 NFL MVP


Chichevache posted:

Ross's mom won't get to see Bortles
Cuz she can't afford the stadiums whore tolls
She spent all day at work
Giving lots of guys jerks
But it would pay better if she just used her holes
:tipshat:

Rude

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Yeah that's kind of hosed up

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
Problematic.

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

Toaster Beef posted:

Roses are brown
Violets are brown
Everything is brown now
Because you covered it in poo poo

You are on a roll today sir

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

PUSSY MASTER 007 posted:

Next on the toxx list: kawalimus

This week's prediction: I'm somewhat confident that for once the browns don't lose in heartbreaking fashion as time expires....

i just realized that every single the browns game thus far this season has hinged on a last second field goal

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

Chilichimp posted:

The Vik's have some inherent weaknesses coming into this game. Most notably, their franchise player is a loving pile of human garbage and has been sidelined indefinitely.

The second is both a weakness and a strength: they are starting a rookie QB in his very first game. It's a weakness for obvious reasons, but why is it a strength? He's replacing Matt Cassel, a known quantity who has likely already hit his 8-foot ceiling.

The Falcons are significantly banged up on offense. In bizarre turn of events, Julio Jones is the only receiver that isn't banged up. Roddy White, Harry Douglas, and Devin Hester were all sidelined for practice on Monday. Antone Smith, our speedy back with real potential to take it to the house at any time from anywhere on the field, has an injured hamstring.

Jake Matthews triumphant return from an ankle injury proved two things. One, with him on the left, this team has the kind of offense that can hang 50 points on an opponent; and two, Gabe Carimi has turned a corner in his storied bullshit career and has become a serviceable tackle against average opposition.

I'm not blind, I saw the fits that the Vik's were putting Brees through last week, so there is concern that Matt Ryan will also become somewhat nullified due to being suplexed 8 yards behind the line of scrimmage. I'm excited for the match-up and hoping for a road win. Like it or not, this depleted Vikings team is the kind of contest that good teams win.

Vikings fans: Atlanta's D is bad, ya'll. Expect your fresh-young QB to look decent out there.

I think the Vikings will get better, just not right now. They have to get Mckinnon going, get the defense sorted out and deal with some of the other non headline injuries. The team has been unfocused and prone to game changing mistakes. It takes to to find out whose going to play well and who ends up being addition by subtraction.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
Kirk Cousins is way more handsome than Eli Manning.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


FeedingHam2Cats posted:

i just realized that every single the browns game thus far this season has hinged on a last second field goal

Worth it because now another team knows the shame of having Cundiff

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
Eli has never had much difficulty beating QBs more handsome than him

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Febreeze posted:

Eli has never had much difficulty beating QBs more handsome than him

He can't beat :manning:

Josh Lyman
May 24, 2009


How are the Falcons only -2.5 against the Vikings?

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Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Josh Lyman posted:

How are the Falcons only -2.5 against the Vikings?

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