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my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:Lizards don't have a penis Yeah they do and in any case dinosaurs are birds.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:07
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scrubs season six posted:Yeah they do and in any case dinosaurs are birds. no but birds are dinosaurs
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Jul 20, 2017 18:29
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I dont get why the guy peeping him in the first place didnt get in any trouble cause he saw him too. I guess he was smart foisting that job off on the idiot kid.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:36
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why was noah allowed to get wasted and take off his clothes anyways
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Jul 20, 2017 18:37
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EX250 Type R posted:why was noah allowed to get wasted and take off his clothes anyways Not like there was much to do back then
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Jul 20, 2017 18:38
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Imo there are many noah legends from this time and if you peice it together he was likely a real guy but a notorious peice of poo poo. Like one of the biggest assholes in history. He went country to country in a big rear end boat taking loans and sailing away. He raped that kid dudes.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:38
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What if the curse of ham turned him..... WHITE???!?! Service on Sunday present your priest with the real gospel.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:42
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Noah was the OG Florida Man
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Jul 20, 2017 18:43
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I wonder if my Pastor has ever read the book of Noah next time he lectures me for being an alcoholic I'll have to present him this evidence that even people in the Bible drink
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Jul 20, 2017 18:45
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Ein cooler Typ posted:I wonder if my Pastor has ever read the book of Noah There isn't a Book of Noah.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:48
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Christian scholars excuse him as a drunk cause theres no fresh water, but that means like everyone is in agreement noah was drunk 24/7.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:49
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And lol i guess ol ham was too..
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Jul 20, 2017 18:49
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The passage just relays the facts of what happened in this case and doesn't really editorialize, nor does God speak on the matter. The text does not necessarily condone Noah's actions or indicate whether his curse on Ham is justified.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:52
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I just realized that if you divide the ages listed for these dudes in the bible by approximate moons per year you get a number that makes sense age wise. So Noah having his sons at 500 could in fact mean early 40s and maybe they just were all on the spectrum and he had trouble coping
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Jul 20, 2017 18:53
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EX250 Type R posted:I just realized that if you divide the ages listed for these dudes in the bible by approximate moons per year you get a number that makes sense age wise. So Noah having his sons at 500 could in fact mean early 40s and maybe they just were all on the spectrum and he had trouble coping Yeah but there are some guys who it says had a kid at 70 and then lived to be 900, which would make them like 5 years old when their first kid was born if you go by that logic.
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Jul 20, 2017 18:57
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General Dog posted:Yeah but there are some guys who it says had a kid at 70 and then lived to be 900, which would make them like 5 years old when their first kid was born if you go by that logic. ur right the bible makes way more sense
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Jul 20, 2017 18:58
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children still have children as early as what, 8? and thats in 2017 with laws and poo poo
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Jul 20, 2017 18:59
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EX250 Type R posted:I just realized that if you divide the ages listed for these dudes in the bible by approximate moons per year you get a number that makes sense age wise. So Noah having his sons at 500 could in fact mean early 40s and maybe they just were all on the spectrum and he had trouble coping Whoah we got a real Martin Luther here. You should nail this thesis to the door of your local church.
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Jul 20, 2017 19:05
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You know i dont think there was a punishment for raping a boy. Maybe there was, the punishment for raping a girl at the time was you had to marry her.
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Jul 20, 2017 19:08
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DogonCrook posted:You know i dont think there was a punishment for raping a boy. Maybe there was, the punishment for raping a girl at the time was you had to marry her. The punishment is death.
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Jul 20, 2017 19:11
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If you think about it bill cosby would have surely been mentioned in the bible if he were alive at this time as the guy with 50 wives.
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Jul 20, 2017 19:12
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People just lived longer because everything took longer in the old days. With the wonders of human progress by about 2674 the average human lifespan will be about two weeks.
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Jul 20, 2017 19:14
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1500quidporsche posted:Whoah we got a real Martin Luther here. You should nail this thesis to the door of your local church. i'll write it on a brick and nail it to your face
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Jul 20, 2017 19:17
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being a raging alcoholic was probably the only way to deal with god loving everything up for no reason
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Jul 20, 2017 19:18
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Jose posted:being a raging alcoholic was probably the only way to deal with god loving everything up for no reason People were being Bad. And they were even loving angels and making uberpeople and god was sick of it. Sad!
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Jul 20, 2017 19:22
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EX250 Type R posted:Noah was the OG Florida Man
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Jul 20, 2017 23:55
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See I always thought it just meant he saw Noah's junk. God: oops, you accidentally saw your father penis, hellfire and damnation for you Because, y'know, old testament God was exactly that petty and loving ridiculous. God of love my rear end.
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Jul 20, 2017 23:58
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