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scavy131 posted:Voting for Dipshit if the votes are still open. His map gets to show off at least one of the new features from AW2, Cannons. Votes are still open, I was going to close them Friday. I think a week is good enough - and to be fair, Dipshit's winning by a landslide rn.
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Dec 18, 2019 19:38
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Paul.Power posted:
As a further note on that, you will find Lash to be one of the more frustrating CO's to fight in Fog of War; because you want to hide units in forests (or failing that, a city), that makes her units doing that that little bit more punchy, and if you accidentally stumble into, say, an MD tank in a forest, you can probably kiss whatever unit found it goodby unless it's tough or you have a followup ready to go. Even then and in general though, her passive makes her units harder to peel off of cities; she gets a 30% offense boost by being on there, and that gets doubled (along with the defense bonus) if you're unfortunate enough to get Prime Tactics'd. That right, she gets 6 stars on cities, and 8 when on mountains/HQ when that power is active. In general, the 'harder' the terrain, the better she is. The 1-movement cost add-on just makes it that much worse, and she is shockingly capable of throwing enemy units into disarray. Do note that because her offensive boosts are predicated on the actual defense stars the unit has, her air units see absolutely no benefits from her powers at all, and her naval units see very little, although a battleship in port is not something you want to have to approach without a sub on hand. She got nerfed in AWDS, down to 5% offense for each terrain star, which should tell you exactly how dangerous of a CO she can be: the 'if everybody is OP nobody is' balancing still saw her take a hit Speaking of AWDS, in that game Sonja basically hard-counters Lash; Sonja's passive removes 1 defense star from the opponent, and her powers removes 1 and 2 extra stars on top of that.
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Dec 21, 2019 06:40
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Interview 5 - “The Black Cannon” (Or, “The Only Thing Better Than One Medium Tank”) Welcome back, Commander my dude. Let's get on with it. Dips- Andy's mission is up next.  Go on, call him Dipshit already. This cannon was invented by Lash. It's the first of its kind.  And here I thought Flak was already a lab experiment. The quest to try and turn an ape into something resembling a human. I think it's safe to say, looking at how intelligent Flak is, that particular experiment was a failure.  Oh, wow, I totally forgot there were other Black Hole COs. I guess they're the ones invading the other countries? Give him a moment. Flak struggles with words that are more than six letters long. He almost seems... I dunno. A bit childlike? I think "Dipshit's Time" is the absolute worst mission name yet. Last campaign we had cool poo poo, like "Wings of Victory!" and "Enigma". What the gently caress is "Dipshit's Time"? You really do refuse to call him by his name, don't you? He doesn't deserve it. Anyway. Carter keeps Nell apprised of the situation.  Pretty loving bleak, Dipshit, there's a huge fuckoff cannon over there. That thing is inconveniently massive. It's not that big. It takes up nine tiles. It's nine times as big as an entire city or five medium tanks. That's the kind of thing I'd describe as "inconveniently massive". ...Did you miss a bit of dialogue somewhere in that? Maybe. Yes. Shut up. ...Snrk. Heheheh, Dipshit, that's the most exploitable sentence you've ever said. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID My dude! Would you please focus on the battle at hand? Aw, c'mon, that was funny. ...I mean, you're her current, uh, man, right? Yeah? ...So if she's never seen one that big before, you must be rather tiny in compari- Don't finish that sentence. Heh.  I mean, I'm always in favour of using Max rather than Dipshit. The map is called "Andy's Time", to be fair. I don't think we're going to be Max for this one. OK, I know you said no breaking the fourth wall, but come on, that was as close as you can possibly get. That was rather on the nose, wasn't it? Ooh, Dipshit getting hurt, sign me up! Nell has a lot of faith. She put her faith in you, after all. Heeeeey, I'm a great commander! "Like healing all of his lovely units for a couple of..." Aren't you going to finish the joke? ...Nah. If I'm honest, his CO power isn't that bad. It's just... him as a person that actively pisses me off.  I'm surprised Nell's letting him get away with this. I'm quite certain she outranks Max. Oh my god just let him start the map already We're almost there. The map's about to begin. There aren't many units deployed, but I'll list the total deployments that we'll see in this map.CARL Age: 21 Personality: Immensely creepy character. Proficiencies: Anti-Air, Mech, Infantry ARTHUR Age: 24 Personality: No indoor voice. Proficiencies: Mech, Infantry, Recon Ah, Carl and Arthur. Yeah, I remember these guys. Alright, so who's what for this map?TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS Dave, Infantry Alfonse, Infantry Arthur, Infantry Carl, Infantry Fleur, Transport Copter Michael, APC Von Panzer, Tank Fliss, Tank Ingo, Tank Selena, Medium Tank Fred, Medium Tank   I swear these were the exact lines from that Rivals! map that I totally ignored last campaign. Well, Andy's yet to learn what deploying is, so evidently he wasn't listening in that map either.  Dipshit, for the love of god, please start remembering some of the things that Nell tells you. Please.  Nell continues talking about bases for a while, so I'll skip it. oh thank god So, yes, there's much more freedom in this map. That makes Andy's job harder, since he has to decide what's best to deploy. And as we know, he can't make a sensible decision. He's literally incapable. If that's what you believe, this map may surprise you. Hm. Well, the enemy forces are completely nonexistent - Orange Star have the monetary advantage. Well-spotted. With efficient movement, they can take that northern base and completely prevent any more Black Hole soldiers from appearing within a few days. Alfonse hops up into Fleur's transport copter, nodding at the beautiful pilot as he does. "Hey, Fleur. Let's get over to the base over there and capture it before the enemy get their hands on it!" "Right! I'll take flight immediately!" Fleur replies.  Alfonse's hair flutters in the breeze as the transport copter takes off. He eyes the monolithic cannon in the distance and feels a shiver creep down his spine. "What the hell kind of monster needs a cannon like that..?" he whispers. "War is changing."  Dave and Michael are deployed next - they'll also be making their way north to capture the nearby cities. Makes perfect sense to me. Alright, now let's see what this gigantic lad is capable of. I'm not sure a cannon constitutes a 'lad', my dude. I'm not sure you constitute a 'lad'. Besides...  See, Lash? This is what you get for making the most inconveniently big cannon in the world. I suppose Flak's job was merely to protect the cannon as it lays waste to the countryside.  And by "take charge of the battle", Flak apparently meant "deploy a single infantry". Great work, Flak. We're not quite out of the woods yet when it comes to Nell saying words, by the way. I mean, I'm not too mad about this one. I've never a weapon like this before, so some advice would actually be useful. Black Hole are the least imaginative people ever. Why not call it the Todeskanone or something? I didn't know you knew German. Eh, Von Panzer taught me a little during our last campaign together. Mostly words to do with guns and war, though. Dude's a mercenary, after all. I wonder what constitutes a massive range? Battleships hit like, 6 maximum, I think. More than that, perhaps? It does have quite a crippling weakness, though. I'm sorry, it only fires once every two days and hits the strongest unit, singular? Unless it literally kills the unit in question, which I doubt, because not even Meteor Strike did that, this is the largest waste of money I've ever seen. Except for that time that you bought like eleven medium tanks. I said a WASTE. Eleven medium tanks is a wise investment, not a waste. Anyway, Dave loads into Michael, bound north. It's not hard to see why. Approaching the cannon from the front would definitely be suicidal. "Alright, folks," Dave says as Michael drops him off further up the battlefield. "Looks like we're the anti-cannon task force for this mission. We're waiting on intel from the gal upstairs, and once we have that, we move in. For now, we secure the area." "Got it." Alfonse replies.  "Hey everyone!" shouts Arthur in his usual loud tone. Dave winces. "Arthur. Carl. Glad to have you with us - you heading north?" "Yes..." Carl replies, trying hard to sound normal. "I will be fighting with you. And not tasting the blood." "That's, uh, great, Carl." Alfonse says. "Right, let's get the troops ready. Backup's coming later, so let's make sure to open the way for them!"  Alfonse gets dropped off at the base on the island, not too far from the Black Cannon. That is quite imposing. So what kind of range does it have? 10? What the loving gently caress It's quite monstrous. And Fleur's copter is right in the cannon's path. I can't even blame Dipshit for that one. I wouldn't have expected it to have such a massive firing range... no wonder he didn't approach from the front. My god.  Does this thing one-shot units, by the way? Because Fleur's kinda...  ...Ruin?  No. Half HP? That's... that's worse than Meteor Strike! Though I suppose it does attack once every two days. And I can only guaran-loving-tee that we'll see versions in the lategame that can attack every day. Well, we'll find out. For now, though, the infantry goes for a nearby property. Alright, what's next? If she says it's the big-rear end door on the cannon, I'm going to cry. You may want to prepare some tissues. Siiiiiiiiigh. Also, ninety-nine loving HP. That's quite beefy. I wonder how defensive it is? You'll be unsurprised to hear that medium tanks cut through that HP quite easily. Either way, the mission is to destroy the cannon. Yeah, that's a new one. I've never had a battle like this before. Let's see how it goes. That's what she said. Pfft. Told you it was funny. Anyway, yes, the map. So... Alfonse begins capturing the base. Understandable - that base is right next to the cannon, and with medium tanks' 5 movement, if you wanna get heavy firepower to the cannon quickly, that's the easiest place to do it.  Dave and Arthur also start to capture their properties. Orange Star needs a lot of money if they want medium tanks. And Carl heads north with Michael. I see - and who's the new tank? It's none other than Von Panzer. ...Black Hole certainly have a turn, it's just... Dudes capturing things? Yeah. Pretty much that. Back to the interesting stuff, then. Hardly interesting. Just Arthur capturing something. And then Dave capturing something. And then- Don't tell me - Alfonse capturing something? It is indeed Alfonse capturing something. Fliss gets deployed too, and as usual, she is terrified to death of everything. The Black Hole troops are slowly multiplying, too. Dipshit needs to capture that base ASAP. Indeed - if they keep getting properties, they'll soon be able to afford some more dangerous troops. Some of them, though, just want to prevent the approach. Not bad, Dipshit. He put Michael in front of Dave on purpose, so the infantry wouldn't weaken Dave. Not bad. Those more dangerous troops might be coming out soon, too. Flak deploys a mech. ...When I said dangerous, I meant, like, rockets or tanks. But sure. A mech.  Then... um, give me a second. Are those cue cards? They help me formulate sentences in the way you taught me... give me a second.  Von Panzer is offended by the Black Hole infantry's mere existence and decides to fix it. With bullets. Yeah, there we go! Nice! I could have almost said that myself. Looks like Dave's gonna finish the job. And finish it he does. Your troops really are a crack team at this point, you know. Oh, I know. I'm very proud of them all. Carl, Arthur and Fliss head up to back up the troops. "Any more backup coming, Von Panzer?" Dave asks, readying his guns. "Indeed! More on the way!" Von Panzer replies. "Um, hello..." murmurs Fliss into the transceiver. "I'll do my best. But I don't know if I can help out..." "That's not true." says Alfonse to himself. Fleur turns to him, surprised. "I'm coming too!" Ingo says. "I'll be on my way shortly!"  Alfonse makes a start on the nearby property by the base. He really likes his little island, apparently.  The enemy continue to capture property. They're beginning to spread quite a ways now. There's only four of them. Dave could trounce them on his own, let alone with tank support.  Ah, nice. Hm? By starting the capture on an odd-numbered day, he's able to capture it in two days without fearing the cannon. Sure, it'll hit him this turn, but he's already captured the property, so it's fine. Let's just skip through this a little. Fliss fires on this infantry. Von Panzer, meanwhile... ...Attacks the troop on the base. I see. Next turn, Dipshit's gonna take out whatever gets spawned on the base, then drop an infantry off, right? And Dave does some more capturing. How much money does Orange Star even need? That's a question only Nell and the higher-ups can answer. In the meantime, Arthur finishes off the weakened infantry. This map really doesn't seem that hard. One base, and no pre-deployed units besides the cannon? I believe Black Hole were overly confident in their cannon. The rest of the troops advance, meanwhile, ready to put a stop to that base's deployments. And poor Alfonse is going to eat a cannon to the face. A huge explosion rips through the area as a gigantic shell explodes across the island. Fleur, well above the wreckage in her transport copter, leans out in terror. "Alfonse?! Alfonse!"  "...So that's the power of the Black Cannon, huh?" Alfonse grunts, pulling himself to his feet. "Not the worst pain I've ever felt, honestly. I'm fine, Fleur; let's just get out of range before it fires again!"  And the enemy infantry have noticed Dave's existence, foolishly attempting to try and put it to an end. Awfully bold of them to assume Dave is capable of dying. Wow, that was a horrible trade-off. All that for two damage? It wasn't very ideal, was it? Alright, so today's Operation Kill Dude On Base Then Capture Base? ...Oh, it was you. What? When I was researching Orange Star's old files, I found several details of operations with incredibly stupid names. I realise now that you named them. Hey, Operation Stand On HQ And Don't loving Die was a classic. Heh. My favourite was Operation HQ Road Trip. Uh, anyway, I'm supposed to be interviewing you. Right, next, Alfonse climbs into Fleur, safely out of the cannon's range. And then, the moment I'm sure you've been waiting for... "Hey, everyone! Sorry for the delay!" Selena says, as a medium tank trundles out of the base on the island. "Thanks for keeping the enemy at bay - I'll handle the cannon. Tank crews, make your way to me in the next few days once you've stamped out the enemy!" Yesssssssssssss. Speaking of stamping out the enemy, Von Panzer makes a start on the infantry. Infantry really are deceptively tanky sometimes. Unfortunately, Fliss is also present. She was able to finish the foe off. And then, the... sigh. The second part of 'Operation Kill Dude On Base Then Capture Base' went into action. Heheh. Told you, they're good operation names. Sure. Either way, Michael drops Carl off on the base - Flak now has no way of deploying troops. And even the troops he does have deployed won't last long. Arthur heads for the nearest enemy infantry. ...I was about to say that they massively overestimated how good their cannon would be, but to be fair, Dipshit is the kind of idiot who would have taken the southern path around. I don't know if it's humanly possible to underestimate Dipshit. Very true. Dave's damage, meanwhile, prevents him from capturing this in a single turn.  Dave's going to get shot again, too. OK, that was a little worse. Dave needs protecting, stat. The mech goes for Von Panzer. You already know he won't kill him in a single hit, since nothing can kill Von Panzer in a single blow, but... Sheesh. It was quite a powerful blow, coming from a mech. Still, Flak's turn is over - he doesn't have many troops left, after all. So what's the rest of this map, just making a beeline for the cannon? Pretty much. There's still a little more cleanup first though. Dave captures his property at last. And then our boy Ingo comes along. I think he's Lucy's boy, really, but yes, Ingo does an absurd amount of damage to this hapless infantry. Arthur finishes. Blam! This map is so stupid. "Flak, you have the biggest cannon ever to guard the southern route, and one base to guard the entire northern route with. The enemy gets more pre-deployed units, more bases, and more starting money than you. Good luck!" Even for what effectively counts as a tutorial, it's quite an easy battle. Carl begins capturing the base, mostly to add insult to Flak's injury. Fliss, meanwhile, snags another kill. She's on a roll, wow. Selena heads north, ready to take on the Black Cannon. That's the most badass sentence you've ever said, Ruin. And then a second medium tank is deployed - it's Fred. As I've always said, the only thing better than one medium tank is more than one medium tank. It's Flak's turn. thanks flak Oh, Carl finally got that base. I guess the infantry may as well capture stuff, since they're likely to be quite useless against the cannon itself. Quite so. Selena moves towards the cannon - she stays just out of range, though. The rest of the troops make their way over there. Flak may as well just retreat now. I don't feel like he's the type. Either way, next we attack the cannon, right? I wanna see this. As I said, medium tanks do quite well against these things. Selena lands a mighty blow. Sheesh, no kidding. I suppose what you attack the cannon with is left in range, but that's why we brought Fred along too. ...Ah, I bet indirect units work well against these cannons. The cannon opens fire. "Nobody break formation or panic! I'm alright. That was a big hit... time to switch out - Fred, get ready!" "A hero's always ready to take centre stage! Just say when!" Fred replies, revving up his medium tank and turning the gigantic treads towards the nearby cannon.  Oh god, just end it. Put Flak and Lash out of their stupid, stupid misery. Alright, but let's have one last capture for the road. This cannon wasn't as defensive as I was expecting. Just two medium tank attacks, and...  Boom. So, yes, Dipshit won.  Your name is Dipshit, we all know it. Dammit, I just called him that a moment ago. You're a bad influence, my dude. Thank you.  Not wanting to know Andy's name and concerned about unit losses... he's practically you at this point, my dude. OK, I'm way more handsome than that. Don't you think, Ruin? I'm not sure that professionally, I'm allowed to answer that. Oh, Max cared the whole time. Wild.  Where the hell was it close, Max? Were you watching the same battle as everyone else? Max wasn't here because he was concerned. He was going to step in once Dipshit failed. Oh, I see. I mean, having a backup plan is always good. But dick move, Max. Nell gave you orders.  Oh, and this is where Carter was. God drat it, Carter, you need to actually be in these battles.  What the hell is happening here.  This reads like a loving scene from Friends or something. Let's just agree that this whole situation was completely farcical and move on. And then Dipshit just comes out with this? Christ. He really is dense. Nell really needs a holiday. Honestly, yeah, she does. So, yes, there's your introduction to the new weapons of war that Black Hole are using. Not that threatening, honestly. There'll be more. But for now, we're almost through the first portion of my story.  Ah, Max's mission next? Interesting. I hope it's called "Max's Time". Yes, yes, jokes aside - it's time for your side of the story. ...I suppose there's no holding it back any longer. I'll tell you about... that.*** Part 5 Additional
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Dec 27, 2019 18:01
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Not entirely sure why you didn't just build a couple of artillery and bomb the cannon from distance; were they not yet available in this mission? Better storytelling device this way, perhaps.
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Dec 27, 2019 19:46
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JustJeff88 posted:Not entirely sure why you didn't just build a couple of artillery and bomb the cannon from distance; were they not yet available in this mission? Uh, mostly because getting a few artillery over there seemed slower than two medium tanks. They were available, though, probably should've used them.
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Dec 27, 2019 20:01
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If you captured that property closest to the cannon you could have probably gotten a rocket out and in range easily enough, but at that point you have more than enough firepower to deal with the cannon. Also Black Hole why can't the cannon turn that's not a good design at all and why is the weak point in the front help my brain hurts.
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Dec 27, 2019 20:36
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Honestly I wouldn’t put it past Andy to forget what artillery are, so this works.
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Dec 27, 2019 20:42
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Artillery would have been cheaper and safer, in that they could have attacked the black cannon weak spot from the side without standing in the cannon's firing range. But it was still well handled, even if Selena took a shell to the face. Can't complain with a perfect S-Rank! For future reference, all Black Hole weak spots have 99HP and have the same defences as a medium tank on a road - so a medium tank will knock off 55HP, an artillery will knock off 45HP and so on. quote:"Like healing all of his lovely units for a couple of..." We didn't get to see it in this battle because of Flak having bugger all in the way of units, but Andy's had something of a boost in this game: Hyper Repair is still his regular CO Power, but his Super CO Power is Hyper Upgrade, which heals 5HP to all units, as well as giving them +1 move and a firepower boost. It's a pretty nice thing to have in your back pocket. Not far left for the Orange Star part of Campaign! Although speaking of which... for the next mission with Max, make sure you capture the neutral city near your start point. For... reasons. Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Dec 27, 2019 |
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Dec 27, 2019 20:54
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I apologise for the picking of the nits; it's simply hard-coded in me in AW games to avoid damage whenever possible and to never get in front of those huge buggers. CP's strategy *was* probably faster.
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Dec 27, 2019 20:59
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Goddammit, Andy forgot how to deploy units since the last game. You know, maybe Nell just keeps him around so she always has someone she can tutorialize to...
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Dec 27, 2019 21:07
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I'm pretty sure Black Cannons can't KO units, either. They just set them to 1 HP...
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Dec 27, 2019 21:17
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Quackles posted:I'm pretty sure Black Cannons can't KO units, either. They just set them to 1 HP...
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Dec 27, 2019 21:22
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Paul.Power posted:Artillery would have been cheaper and safer, in that they could have attacked the black cannon weak spot from the side without standing in the cannon's firing range. But it was still well handled, even if Selena took a shell to the face. Can't complain with a perfect S-Rank! Yeah, artillery would have worked perfectly well, it just genuinely didn't occur to me to use them. And thank you, I'll bear that in mind! Paul.Power posted:We didn't get to see it in this battle because of Flak having bugger all in the way of units, but Andy's had something of a boost in this game: Hyper Repair is still his regular CO Power, but his Super CO Power is Hyper Upgrade, which heals 5HP to all units, as well as giving them +1 move and a firepower boost. It's a pretty nice thing to have in your back pocket. drat, +1 move and half a heal is really solid, actually. Good to bear in mind! Ah, would those reasons be something to do with the new toy? I recall WaveLightning777 mentioning something about it to me a little while ago... JustJeff88 posted:I apologise for the picking of the nits; it's simply hard-coded in me in AW games to avoid damage whenever possible and to never get in front of those huge buggers. CP's strategy *was* probably faster. Oh, don't worry about it! I think it's safe to say that you guys are half the reason I'm even getting through these games at all. werbear posted:Goddammit, Andy forgot how to deploy units since the last game. You know, that makes a weird kinda sense, actually. Nell does love tutorialising. Quackles posted:I'm pretty sure Black Cannons can't KO units, either. They just set them to 1 HP... Paul.Power posted:Yep. Still a problem in that a 1HP unit is nigh-on useless and the damage doesn't go into your CO meter or anything, but from a perspective of going for minimal unit deaths it's good to know. Yeah, I wasn't risking a death on testing that out, so thanks for letting me know. That knowledge will come in handy in the future, I'm sure!
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Dec 27, 2019 21:42
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Paul.Power posted:Yep. Still a problem in that a 1HP unit is nigh-on useless and the damage doesn't go into your CO meter or anything, but from a perspective of going for minimal unit deaths it's good to know. True. And you can still use them to block a chokepoint against a single unit, or join with another unit.
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Dec 27, 2019 21:42
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cosmicPostman posted:Ah, would those reasons be something to do with the new toy? I recall WaveLightning777 mentioning something about it to me a little while ago... 
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Dec 27, 2019 21:57
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Interview 6 - “Sami’s Secret Agenda” (Or, “Mother loving Planes”) Welcome back, Commander. Fair warning - horrible sight incoming. oh jesus gently caress They're going to talk for a bit. I wanted to ask a few questions - you say Nell proposed? That's right. So Nell proposes, then almost immediately, you disappear for a year? And the only public showing was Dudecon? Why? Why? Because I said yes. My dude, I'm not following you. Alright, you want my alibi? I was with Celestrian for a whole year. I decided that I wanted to spend my life with Nell. But I didn't want to divide my time between the world of Advance Wars and all the different my dudes in the omniverse. Remember, I said that I was some sort of leader. I recall. But I wanted to turn my back on all that, and forget my past, and just forge a new life with Nell in Wars World. But someone has to arrange Dudecon, and lead the my dudes, and that could no longer be me. ...Ah. Celestrian was your protege. Yeah. I spent a year teaching him the ins and outs of organising Dudecon and all that, with the intention of returning in time for the wedding, which is... pretty soon, actually. I see. That makes sense. One last year off before the wedding, and so Dudecon was effectively your stag night. Yeah, though I didn't vocalise that. Persona is quite forward about how much he admires me. If he'd found out that I'd picked Celestrian to replace me instead of him, it would have ruined the night. So I kept quiet. I'll accept this for now. It fits in with what else I know - but you'd best continue telling me about the events of the night. You might have seen something that incriminates the real killer. But... if I'm honest, I was never confident that it was you. Ruin... ...Let's continue. It's completely allowed, surely? Sturm was basically doing that. He had a personal vendetta against the entire world. Flak really is quite similar to Max. They're both built like refrigerators, I suppose. "Who cares about rules? Except the rule that me and the enemy always take turns in battle, because that's rooted in the very fabric of our existence."  On second glance, all of these mission names sound like you named them. Oh, come on, my mission names would be way funnier than this. Hm. Small map, lots of planes, this isn't great. Admittedly, four loving anti-airs and missiles are probably a bit overkill. My main concern is that bro copter there. Oh? Let's let everyone talk before I explain. A Flak attack, you might say. A FLAK ATTACK, YOU MIGHT SAY. This is most definitely an air assault. And not a particularly friendly one. I've been led to believe that bombers and fighter jets are somewhat strong. Yeah, that's an understatement... Sami has also recognised the threat. I'm not sure why she's here though. This is Max's mission, after all. You all use the same troops or at least that's how LPAW1 was written, stop ruining the illusion, Sami No kidding. A mech on a mountain only barely survives a bomber. This is certainly not going to be a fun map. With how small the battlefield is, though, it may well be a short map. Max has the exact right amount of confidence for somebody with four anti-airs. Oh, speaking of, I should give you the rundown of this map, shouldn't I?GORDON Age: 22 Personality: Freelance photography expert. Proficiencies: Recon, Anti-Air, Missiles HARVEY Age: 29 Personality: Avid bug collector. Proficiencies: Transport Copter, Battle Copter, Bomber TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS Dave, Infantry Alfonse, Mech Fleur, Transport Copter Von Panzer, Battle Copter Harvey, Battle Copter Fliss, Anti-Air Carl, Anti-Air Lloyd, Anti-Air Gordon, Anti-Air Fred, Rockets Carter, Missiles  Oh, I see. Sami's taking over Nell's role as the person who drowns us in tutorials. I'm not sure this map needs much tutorialisation, but they certainly like to be thorough. "Planes are overpowered, always have missiles and anti-airs on hand." That's all they need to say. Are planes overpowered? Yeah, of course! No movement penalties, huge movement, and irresponsibly high attack power. Between them, fighters and bombers cover almost every kind of threat in the game, and do enough damage to those threats to either outright kill, or completely neuter, whatever it is. It was bombers and fighters that won me the final battle against Sturm, honestly. Well, that and a million medium tanks. Goodness.  Maps where bombers and fighters have overlapping range are the most annoying. Bombers can't fire on planes, and fighters can't fire on vehicles, so you can counter them easily but just having planes in a bomber's range, or vehicles in a fighter's range. Except when their range overlaps. Exactly. "Hi, guys! Pleasure to rejoin you all." Gordon says, manning an anti-air alongside his comrades. "Welcome back, Herr Gordon." replies Von Panzer. "It is good to have you back." "Indeed it is! Looks like we need a heavy anti-air presence, so everyone better be ready for this!" Lloyd announces. In the middle of the anti-air deployments, Carter is manning the missiles, staring at the oncoming planes in the sky. He gulps. "I'll do my best too. I... I defer to your judgement, everyone." Dave's eyes widen, and he turns to look at Alfonse. "Looks like my little rant actually got through to the kid a bit." "We'll have to talk to him after the battle." Alfonse replies. "For now, though, let's just focus on getting through this safely."  Gosh, colour me surprised. Can't we skip this, Ruin? Are you not enthused by all the conversations? I like character development as much as the next guy, but it is painfully clear that this is just exposition. And I already know it. I suppose Max has mentioned his love of direct combat a few times. When you say "a few", you mean "constantly", right? Of course, my dude.  GOSH THAT'S INTERESTING SAMI Alright, let's just get on with the battle. What was your concern with the bro cop- uh, battle copter? It's in the middle of the battlefield, right next to that fighter. Ordinarily, to protect planes from fighters, you surround them with vehicles. But you can't do that here - it doesn't have the movement to get all the way to safety, and anything that blocks the fighter will be in range of that first bomber. How very astute. Oh, god, he's still talking. Why do they always talk?  Says you, my dude, who never shuts up. Yeah, but everything I say is witty or important! This is neither.  Well, the soldiers seem more than happy to listen to Max. Though I suppose they're all a bunch of meatheads when you get right down to it. Except Rin and Lucy. ...Except Rin and Lucy. And Fliss, come to think of it. God, this army has so many sweet and adorable girls. I wonder why the hell most of them even signed up to go to war? Regardless, the map begins properly now. Carter opens up the offence by targeting that rather poorly-placed battle copter. Instantly reduced to dust. Missiles are, for the most part, an incredibly good solution to planes and copters. There's a sense of desperation about the movement here - I think Harvey, fleeing south, is well aware that this is not going to end well. The other anti-airs are trying their best to get into position for a counterattack though. And Alfonse begins capturing another useless property. Useless, hm? Wait and see, my dude. Harvey heads south, meanwhile. I am REALLY not liking his chances. The soldiers arrange themselves like so, waiting for the planes to begin their assault. Oh god oh god oh god  Aha... I see! This is a tutorial map, after all, so that dialogue suggests that the bombers and fighters aren't going to attack. There was a map like this in my last campaign, where it seemed to be impossible to do without getting murderfucked by planes, but then they all blow up because they're low on fuel. Phew. For a minute I was worried. ...Uh, yes, sure. Just a tutorial... Flak really doesn't seem to be good at following orders that are more complicated than "crush". To be fair, having no soldiers trained to use them is a valid argument. Oh god Ruin is he about to tutorialise RUIN Maybe. What? That's not even right! For gently caress's sake, Nell might talk my ear off, but at least the information she gives is loving accurate. We'll skip the rest of it for the sake of your sanity. Now then, the map. Wait, no. Where's the dialogue about not using the bombers and fighters? I'm sorry, Commander. God drat it, Max, I leave for ONE year and you let this kind of poo poo happen. "Mayday! Going down!" yells Harvey as his copter begins to explode under fighter jet fire. The ground units look up in horror. "Harvey!" screams Fleur, but the copter begins the horrible descent downwards, spiralling out of the sky. A shaky message comes through just before impact. "Set all my bugs free, and uh, apologise to my mother. And to all of you, I'm so sorr-" The explosion is loud, but the silence right after it is far more deafening. Fliss and Carter, the newcomers, are especially thrown, staring at the wreckage, unable to vocalise the strange pit in their stomachs. Fear? Sorrow? Or something in between?  The rest of the planes advance. "Alright." says a voice over the transceiver. Everyone looks around, but it soon becomes clear who's speaking as Dave faces the planes descending upon the battlefield. "These bastards never seem to learn that we don't take kindly to one of our own being killed. Everyone on the field right now, I want you to remind them, as painfully as possible. Shoot every last one of 'em out of the loving sky!" "Way ahead of you!" shouts Lloyd. "Lads, prepare a nice volley of anti-air rounds!" "Yes... I will not let them take any more lives today." Carl hisses. "Harvey treated me with kindness." Fliss is rooted to the spot, but she stammers into the transceiver. "I'll... I... I'll do my b-best... to fight. They..." "You can do this, Fliss." says Carter, seemingly quite calm. "Hold nothing back." "R-right!" Dave sighs. "I wish my dude were here. He wouldn't have let this happen..."  Fred opens fire on the tank coming down. I don't even know why they bothered with this one tank. It's clear that the focus of this battle is, you know, the air units. And sheesh, even with Max's indirects being terrible, he was still in range and still did loads of damage. Nice job, tank. Carter, meanwhile, prepares to open the assault on the planes. There's a hell of a lot of them, that's for sure. I'm not sure the anti-airs are in range to kill them all, either. This could be awkward. Either way, Carter hits one of them with missiles so hard that it stops existing out of embarrassment. GAH what is with this game and text just popping up when I least expect it?! Ruin, what the hell is this about? I'll let Sami explain. It'll be more expedient. what. what? Commander, just pay attention and stop saying "what" to everything. Sorry, I just have no idea what this is about. I don't recall anything about secret enemy labs. Well, they exist. "Black Hole Labs! Now developing EVEN BIGGER TANKS!" Actually, you're... not far off. What was that? Nothing. And Green Earth, Max, don't forget. There's only four countries, how did you forget one? As usual, Sami is the most sensible character in the room when Nell's not around. Why would Black Hole leave maps to their labs in the cities of their enemy's countries? Why are their labs in their enemy's countries? I think this is one of those things you're just not supposed to think about.  Oh god does that mean we just unlocked another map.  ...We just unlocked another map. Hee hee. Secret labs aside, there's still plenty of planes around. Lloyd opens fire first, on the nearest bomber. Well, it IS the biggest threat to the ground units. Not any longer, though. This also grants access to Max's CO Power. Ooh, I always like hitting things harder, that's always been WHEN THE gently caress DID IT INCREASE MOVEMENT This isn't even the most ridiculous CO Power. No, but it's really strong, holy poo poo. I assume it gets used? What kind of CO would Max be if he didn't immediately use his power upon getting it? MAAAAAXIMUUUUUUM FORCEEEEEEEEPS ...Maximum Forceps? It's an old joke. Well, anyway, this gives Fliss enough movement to come over here, and enough attack power to completely destroy it. All in all, a good use of the power. I'll say. That is a hell of a buff. And that's only the tiny CO Power! Carl, meanwhile, decides to go for the fighter jet. And so he should! That rear end in a top hat killed Harvey! Carl, your revenge would have been more effective if you'd actually killed it. Goddamn, for anti-air units, they are terrible at one-shotting air units. The other bro cop- battle copter, Von Panzer, decides that he wants some hot copter-on-copter action. Pfft, alright, that got a laugh out of me. You're an awful influence, you know that? Oh, I know. The final anti-air, Gordon, also attacks. Holy poo poo, an anti-air attacked a copter in its range. I can't believe this. How shocking. It won, anyway. Unsurprisingly. Well, that went pretty well, everything's been pretty much destroyed. I mean, we did so much damage in funds, it's ridiculou- Commander? You've gone white. If there's anything I've learned about doing poo poo-tons of damage to bombers in one turn, it's to expect a max-strength CO power the next turn. Very good, Commander. It is, indeed, time for Flak's power. Ah gently caress. The barbaric blow is not to be feared. Hey, they might be on 1 HP, but they can still- oh never mind  The trend of Black Hole SCOPs being ineffectual continues. Yeah, wow, this is kind of embarrassing. The tank didn't even attack Alfonse? Huh. Indeed. And Flak hasn't learnt anything, because he leaves some infantry in range of Fred. It takes a special kind of crapout to leave units in range of units that have reduced range. Ooh, crapout, that's a good word. I heard it a lot from my superiors when I was training to join the Omniversal Police. Alfonse, now done with finding the secret lab map, turns his attention to his other favourite thing to do besides capturing. Destroying tanks like a boss. Dave would be proud. Speaking of Dave, he's range to finish off that luckless infantry. All that's left is those planes, all on 1 HP and completely ineffectual. I think this battle's pretty much over. Indeed. Carter's missiles are a swift and deadly answer to the question "what murders the hell out of planes?" See, now you're really getting into the flow of telling this story. It's actually sort of fun. Lloyd doesn't need telling twice to destroy the nearest plane. Four anti-airs really was overkill. And that's Carl taking out the last one? Ah, I was right. Nice job, Carl. The battle's done! Indeed. It was a swift victory once the planes moved into the army's range. HARVEY DIED, MAX Sami also seems to realise that it's the troops who might be in more disarray. But Max seems to have a curious blind spot for the tragic death of an Orange Star soldier. God drat it. "My SCOP is next to useless when everything I have is on 1 HP!" Would that not be the case for every CO besides, say, Dipshit? ...Well, yeah, I guess. See, some people might read that as an ominous silence, but to me, it just looks like Flak's brain is buffering. Please god, give it up, Flak. I want to fight someone else. In that case, the rest of this campaign is going to sorely disappoint.  Max has apparently never heard the old adage of "lose the battle, win the war". Black Hole are the most ineffectual invaders ever. Admittedly, I have a horrible theory... A theory? Sorry, I'll tell you about that in a second. Girlfriend? Either Flak doesn't know about Sami's crush on Eagle or he's just trying to goad them.  If he was trying to goad them, it's working. I suppose so. Anyway, right, my theory. Go on. What's the difference between this campaign and the last one? Well, I'm not too familiar with the last one, but I'm led to understand that there are more enemy COs and more powerful weaponry this time around. Yeah, but what's the biggest, most noticeable difference? Why would Sturm choose to attack at that very point in time? He can mobilise his army in six months, easy. So why did he wait eighteen months before attacking Wars World again? ...I'm not quite seeing it. Why would he wait so long..? Come on, you're a detective. Think like a tactician, they're very similar thought processes. What's his motive? What went wrong last time? ...You. Yeah. Sturm curbstomped the combined forces of Orange Star, Blue Moon and Green Earth last time. It was only thanks to my expert strategies that we won the day. And if Sturm can mobilise his army in six months... perhaps that explains why exactly six months after I vanished... ...he invaded. Oh my god. There's my horrible theory. They know I can beat them; so they invaded whilst I was away. My disappearance is the direct cause of this campaign. Commander... But I don't think I need to worry. Seems like these guys have been taking tips from me, and I have every confidence that they'll win this campaign. Well, actually, they- Hey, no spoilers. I'll find out how it all ends eventually. For now, let's keep going in chronological order. Right you are, my dude. Well, chronologically, I believe it's about your turn to tell me more about the events of Dudecon. Ah, right. Where was I..?*** Part 6 Additional cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Jan 11, 2020 |
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Jan 10, 2020 14:20
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Bombers technically are indirect combat units. Just...vertically, rather than horizontally.
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Jan 10, 2020 14:43
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Harvey, nooo! He had so much to live for! Too bad a death-less campaign is stopped here completely because of this mission lay-out. But they clearly want to show you how dangerous fighters are - and it's still too early for you to have anything that can survive a fighter attack like a bomber or another fighter. So a sad little bro copter had to die to cram more tutorial into this three turn tutorial mission.
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Jan 10, 2020 21:31
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Harvey lived as he died, loving bugs 
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Jan 10, 2020 22:25
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werbear posted:But they clearly want to show you how dangerous fighters are - and it's still too early for you to have anything that can survive a fighter attack like a bomber or another fighter. So a sad little bro copter had to die to cram more tutorial into this three turn tutorial mission. At least they're getting better with the tutorializing. More show, less text.
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Jan 10, 2020 23:07
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Quackles posted:At least they're getting better with the tutorializing. More show, less text. Olaf going first  cosmicPostman posted:Oh god does that mean we just unlocked another map Courage! Next mission is the last tutorial-heavy mission, then it's the "boss" of the Orange Star section of campaign and then after that the real AW2 will open up. And for that matter... cosmicPostman posted:Please god, give it up, Flak. I want to fight someone else. ... there's only four more missions left in the campaign where you fight Flak at all! He's kind of demoted to lackey following his soon-to-be-failed invasion of Orange Star. Paul.Power fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Jan 11, 2020 |
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Jan 11, 2020 07:38
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Paul.Power posted:... there's only four more missions left in the campaign where you fight Flak at all! He's kind of demoted to lackey following his soon-to-be-failed invasion of Orange Star. Which is, incidentally, probably the most sensible moment of plot in the entire game.
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Jan 11, 2020 17:56
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SoundwaveAU posted:Bombers technically are indirect combat units. Just...vertically, rather than horizontally. I guesssssss. I assume this is a dodgy translation thing? I seem to remember this example being mentioned back in AW1 in somebody's comment. werbear posted:Harvey, nooo! He had so much to live for! Yeah, it was pretty rough. To be fair, I probably wasn't going to manage a deathless campaign anyway - but hey, lesson learned about fighters. They're still very strong and very annoying. Slaan posted:Harvey lived as he died, loving bugs I'm sorry, Harvey. Sometimes these things just happen. Quackles posted:At least they're getting better with the tutorializing. More show, less text. I must admit, this tutorial has been long, but it's also had a) more plot than Olaf going "I'll win next time" and b) more challenging maps that teach the same lessons. I mean, they're not hard maps, but the first game's tutorial practically held your hand turn-by-turn. Paul.Power posted:To be fair, AW1 had the perfect show-don't-tell for how strong fighters and bombers can be. I'm still bitter. It's a good job I hadn't named any of those dudes. Paul.Power posted:Courage! Next mission is the last tutorial-heavy mission, then it's the "boss" of the Orange Star section of campaign and then after that the real AW2 will open up. And for that matter... JustJeff88 posted:Which is, incidentally, probably the most sensible moment of plot in the entire game. Well, well. I'm down with less Flak, and hey, almost at the end of the tutorial. Good times all round! Also, is that a sly reference to the fact that this game's plot is also going to be completely batshit?
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Jan 12, 2020 10:18
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cosmicPostman posted:Also, is that a sly reference to the fact that this game's plot is also going to be completely batshit? :popcorn: It's not that high on the batshit scale but I fear my batshit-o-meter calibration might have been thrown out of wack with the type of media I consume.
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Jan 12, 2020 10:29
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Yeah, Dual Strike is more Batshit insane than AW2, but it's definitely more insane than AW1. For the better, though.
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Jan 12, 2020 11:53
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Honestly I like the AW2 plot in a lot of ways, there's some nice character moments in individual missions and I like the way the generic soldiers get a voice. I just generally really like the mission design in this game though, and that probably bleeds through into my perception of the characterisation a bit. The new COs are also a lot of fun on the whole. Sturm's plan is very unsubtle this time round though (heck, it's just straight-up "invade everywhere at once") and there's some weird memory-holing in terms of some of the details of AW1's characters.
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Jan 12, 2020 12:29
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I'm going to say it again, CP... you should not waste one more drop of brain power considering a "no deaths from here on out" run. You're writing some brilliant snark and the whole LP is either light-hearted banter between the named troops or endless, bottomless snark by the narrators. There is some seriousness, but it's not the featured tone of the story that you are telling and I think that a no more deaths run would drive you mad with frustration and work at cross purposes with a story that you are trying to tell. There is a trilogy of LPs (name withheld because I am about to spoil) on the archives of some very aged RPGs. In the third chapter, one of the PCs is killed off. The player creates all of the PCs anyway, so it's not a narrative thing, and the game has no permadeath even if the player couldn't reload at any moment. That series was gritty and tense, though, and the death was genuinely sad and made us miss the character. I don't think that you could, nor should, have something like that in a game where people are saying "dipshit" as much as possible. I'm not saying that you couldn't, but it would be very hard to make work for your audience and make your life much harder. Paul.Power posted:Honestly I like the AW2 plot in a lot of ways, there's some nice character moments in individual missions and I like the way the generic soldiers get a voice. I just generally really like the mission design in this game though, and that probably bleeds through into my perception of the characterisation a bit. The new COs are also a lot of fun on the whole. The mission design is much better in this game, as it should be in a sequel. AW2 is not my favourite of the series, but it's the one I would recommend to people who wanted to try AW games in general.
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Jan 12, 2020 17:18
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JustJeff88 posted:There is a trilogy of LPs (name withheld because I am about to spoil) on the archives of some very aged RPGs.
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Jan 12, 2020 17:40
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Omobono posted::popcorn: Das Panzer posted:Yeah, Dual Strike is more Batshit insane than AW2, but it's definitely more insane than AW1. For the better, though. Well, sounds like it's gonna be a fun ride. Count me in! Paul.Power posted:Honestly I like the AW2 plot in a lot of ways, there's some nice character moments in individual missions and I like the way the generic soldiers get a voice. I just generally really like the mission design in this game though, and that probably bleeds through into my perception of the characterisation a bit. The new COs are also a lot of fun on the whole. I haven't seen much of the new COs but I am very intrigued to meet them and see how they fit into the other characters' relationships. With my somewhat-limited experience of the game so far, though, I'm definitely enjoying it more than AW1. Not that AW1 is a bad game by any stretch, but this one definitely takes it up a level. JustJeff88 posted:I'm going to say it again, CP... you should not waste one more drop of brain power considering a "no deaths from here on out" run. You're writing some brilliant snark and the whole LP is either light-hearted banter between the named troops or endless, bottomless snark by the narrators. There is some seriousness, but it's not the featured tone of the story that you are telling and I think that a no more deaths run would drive you mad with frustration and work at cross purposes with a story that you are trying to tell. Mm, I don't intend to do a full deathless run after the stress of Final Battle last time. That was a hell of a thing. So long as the "main" characters survive (which will become easier since in in the other countries we only know like 1 or 2 characters), I'll be satisfied. I must admit I've been struggling to balance out the snark with the more serious aspects of, you know, people loving dying, and I think I'll stick with what I've got so far - that is to say, everyone's kinda sad when a death happens, but like, not completely miserable to the point of spoiling the mood. Which can happen provided everyone that dies in future isn't a "main" character. I appreciate feedback like this, since it lets me know what aspects of the LP are working or aren't, and so far, seems like everyone's down for my dude and Ruin riding the Sarcasm Express until the very end.
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Jan 12, 2020 18:04
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Omobono posted:Color me interested from the description. Could I have the name under spoiler bar, please? I sent you a PM
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Jan 12, 2020 21:36
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See, I'm of a somewhat inverse opinion compared to Jeff here; I'm not gonna say "STRESS YOURSELF OUT OVER IT", god no pulling off a one-casualty-final-battle is gonna go down in LP history and all, but at the same time, definitely try without stressing yourself, at least on any missions Orange Star shows up in since, you know, they have the just-about-everyone-we-care-about thing going for them. Plus, I'll admit I've found it intriguing to see a game that was built with the expectations of your units dying semi-regularly being turned into Fire Emblem, in the sense of every unit has a name and a face, and when they die, that death sticks, with a small handful of exceptions that tell death to piss off. This is why I'm looking forward to Yellow Comet, knowing who will rejoin the team there. It's been a unique twist to observe, and while I don't have any expectation of that remaining a sticking point/focus, I do hope you try to keep deaths to a minimum.
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Jan 13, 2020 00:31
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Personally I'm looking forward to Yellow Comet because of The greatest old man in existence reasons.
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Jan 13, 2020 00:44
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Das Panzer posted:Personally I'm looking forward to Yellow Comet because of The greatest old man in existence reasons. Sensei is gonna be great, both because he's awesome, but his CO powers are gonna test cosmicPostman's willingness to name units to its limits
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Jan 13, 2020 09:00
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Oh absolutely. I think Sensei and Javier from DS caused me the most grief when I first met them. Then I found out you could kind of chump the latter's mission and just felt a bit silly.
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Jan 13, 2020 15:23
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Interview 7 - “Battle On The Bridge” (Or, “Well, We Couldn’t Escape Fog Of War Forever…”) Alright, what's on the schedule for today? I... same thing as always. Telling you about the exploits of Orange Star. Today, the Orange Star forces mount an assault on the hidden Black Hole lab. Fun times. That either reads as "Lord Flak, it's the Orange Star Army", or he's addressing both Flak and the Orange Star Army. I'd like to imagine it's the latter, if only because that's more entertaining. Stupidly enough, they had a map. What do you mean, maybe a map? Who made this map and left it in Orange Star? Why is there an enemy lab in Orange Star anyway? It's probably best not to think about it too hard.  Timed mission? Timed mission. Oh, 10 days isn't that ba- You just had to say it. God drat it. This better be a small map. What does it matter to you? You're not the one doing it. No, but Dipshit is, and Dipshit is useless. I can't argue with that. OH YOU'RE loving KIDDING ME. You've encountered this type of fog before? I made a meme to summarise how I feel right now. ...When and how did you make this? You're handcuffed and sat at a desk. I mean, it's in Fog of War, so actually, it might be a neutral lab and we would never know. Ah yes, these new weapon designs. Is it more big cannons? Sort of, actually. But more on that later. Oh, please tell me we switch to Sami instead. No such luck. We get Dipshit for this map. Oh, cry me a river, Sami. You only need like four dudes to just T-Copter over there and capture the lab. To be fair, a guerrilla mission was Sami's original intention. Nell, you're ruining our fun. Now we have to watch Dipshit do this map. He seems quite taken with the power of friendship. I've never understood it myself. You don't have friends? I have my sister, Misery. I need no-one else. ...pfft. I bet Misery has friends. Because- Don't. Misery loves- I am well within my right to tase you. Misery loves company! God drat it. Can we get on with the map? Ah, yes, the riveting conversation of Nell trying to explain to a child what Fog of War is. What a map, Ruin. I thought you'd appreciate a refresher on Fog of War. You haven't encountered it in quite a while. Ruin, almost half of my last campaign was Fog of War. I have seen enough Fog of War to last me a god damned lifetime. Not fond, I take it? Just tell me who's deployed today. Ah, yes. Thank you for the reminder. No new allies, today, but here are the deployments.TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS Dave, Infantry Carter, Mech Michael, APC Fliss, Tank Selena, Medium Tank Lucy, Artillery Fred, Rockets Carl, Anti-Air Von Panzer, Recon  Alright, Nell was blessedly brief in this map, so that's- FUCKIN- You have an amusing habit of speaking too soon. Welp, this is taking me back to my very first Fog of War map. ...Fond memories? Oh, absolutely not.  Sigh. She goes on for a while, huh. When does she not, my dude?  I think a Nell tutorial coupled with Dipshit's ridiculous statements is like, maximum annoyance for me. Nell stop validating him He's not that wrong, in his defence. When was the last time you got murdered with rockets that were in a forest you couldn't see whilst playing hide and seek? Alright, I'll spare you the rest of the unimportant Fog of War conversation. In order to scout out the area around, Carter heads onto a nearby mountain. Selena rolls up to the nearby infantry, but doesn't attack. I'd probably have gone to attack it, but an infantry in range of a medium tank on day 1? There's definitely some horrible rockets somewhere. That's what Dipshit's trying to avoid, right? Well, since Dipshit has  Whoa, Von Panzer just found a whole enemy squadron. Unfortunately, I do believe that infantry is in range of Carl. Indeed, and we all know what anti-airs do to infantry. Leave them on 1 HP. Aw, c'mon, that's practically a kill. Dave is going to be the one assaulting the lab once Selena clears the way, so he hops into Michael to prepare to move. This artillery has some incredibly poor judgement, meanwhile, by sitting directly in range of both Lucy and Fred. Sheesh, Fred. Give them a chance. It's an aggressive first turn, besides Selena. But with enemies this close to the HQ on such a small map, I suppose aggression is the only option. Mm, that's true. Going first is a massive advantage, so eradicating as much of the enemy forces on the first day is pretty vital to success most of the time. Anyway, Lucy finishes with ease. This does mean that neither she nor Fred can move, though. I feel like a medium tank and a tank are strong enough. Artillery and rockets support would be kind of overkill. Speaking of a tank, Fliss blocks up the other part of the mountain range, leaving no access point for the enemy forces. A recon isn't the best wall in the world, though. Well, it's Flak's turn - let's see if he has a tank in the fog.  Flak's nervous. These must be important plans. Apparently they take 7 whole days to destroy, so yes, they're likely very detailed. The enemy recon has discovered... another recon. He's failed to notice that our recon is Von Panzer, though. Indeed. Recons hit like infants. OK, now Flak's just being a copycat. Recon vs recon and anti-air vs anti-air? At least most mirror matches don't do very much damage. I'd call it a blessing. True, at least it wasn't tanks. Six days left. Pfft. I could do this map in five days, so even Dipshit should be able to do this in the time limit. This better be useful.  I'd argue that was quite useful. This is my favourite kind of Fog of War: the kind where Sami just tells you where all the bullshit units are. He's gonna advance the w- Don't. I've had enough godawful jokes for one interview. But he said advance and we're playing Advance Wa- AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I told you I had a taser. aaaaaaaaaaa Oh, stop moaning. That was the lowest setting. Fog of War sure does slow things down. Which is why maps where there's Fog of War and a time limit are complete nonsense. I think we can both agree that seven days on a map this small is a very generous limit.  ...Admittedly, I don't think being a frontline defensive unit is what recons are supposed to do. Then again, it is Von Panzer. I have quite a bit of experience in Fog of War. Though I suppose Dipshit doesn't... were there any Fog of War maps that I used him in last time? Why are you asking me? I wasn't there. The only thing worse than Nell monologuing at you is Nell monologuing at you and not telling you everything. I thought it was Nell tutorialising plus Dipshit making stupid comments? Touché.  It's reefs. Oh, I so called it. Actually, that is handy advice. I forgot to check the reefs in my very first Fog of War map, so getting explicit advice to do that is useful. Every anecdote you tell me about your past campaign suggests more and more that you're lying about being the best tactician in Wars World. Anyway, Selena goes to attack that infantry now that it's not on defensive terrain. It should come as no surprise that she reduced the poor thing to paste. Fliss is gonna shoot something! Indeed, she goes to finish off the anti-air. And, of course... 1 HP again? Why does nobody kill anything on this map? Well, with the anti-air at 1 HP, it's virtually useless, which allows Carl to go for the recon instead. Ah, I see - it's weak enough so that Von Panzer can finish it now. Nice. ...Yes, that was the plan. Oh my god I just want to see something die. Don't we all. Regardless, Michael follows behind Selena, ready to strike out into the enemy base. Already at the HQ, pretty much. You're right, this is a short map. That ranged unit up north didn't even matter! Who in their right mind would take the long way round when there's a single bridge guarded by a single infantry right here? Is that not exactly the kind of thing that Dipshit would do? Amazing point. Carry on. As expected, all the 1 HP units try to flee, but... don't get far. The APC, meanwhile, flees into a nearby forest. "I'll be hidden here! It's not like they saw me come in here! A perfect hiding place!" Flak's troops are... not the brightest. Probably because they all take after him. Man, why can't every Fog of War map be like this? I love this. More helpful information, for sure. I mean, not really. It's a Fog of War map - of COURSE there's a ranged unit in range of the enemy HQ. It's rockets, in the second forest down. I- what- how on earth did you know that? Simple matter of strategic deduction. That infantry on the city was intended to be bait - so we can guess that the ranged unit in question is in range of that infantry. The only ranged units that can do that are rockets, and the only places it could be are the first or second forest down. Go on. There's four cities plus the HQ. If you want to make sure nothing gets captured, you want your ranged unit to be in range of all of them at the same time - if the rockets are in the first forest down, then their 5 range won't cover the very bottom-left city. Therefore, it's rockets, in the second forest down. Dipshit ended up putting the APC between the two forests because he wasn't sure which one was which. Still, you were right. That's quite impressive, my dude. I swear, I am actually good at strategy sometimes. And now the rockets have been revealed, it's not long before Selena sets upon them with a bazooka. Bazooka is a funny word. Hey, did you- no, never mind. I need to focus. Wait, no, go on! We can chat, we've got time. Fred targets his rockets on a helpless enemy who will most definitely not survive. All right, then. Keep your secrets. The annoying thing about 1 HP units is having them still alive. The satisfying thing about 1 HP units is completely destroying them with unnecessary force.  With little else to do but wait, Von Panzer heads north to find that other ranged unit, whilst Carter discovers that the reef contains a lander. Aw, just a poor little lander in a lake. Why did they even put it there? What was the purpose? Fliss continues the cleanup detail by targeting the anti-air. A unit on 1 HP is so weak that this may as well be called a mercy killing. El gasp! There was an APC in the forest the whole time! Thanks for discovering that dangerous threat, Carl. Your sarcasm levels have reached a record high. Lucy does prepare to destroy him, though. Again, mostly just for something to do. She does it really well, though, it must be said. Quite. You never know when more threats come out of the fog, so keeping on top of these foes is never a bad idea, even if they seem harmless. The infantry is still alive, but mostly useless, so it's time to move on. Unless there's more murderers in the fog, I think we've reached the "enemy does nothing" phase of the map. You'd be quite right. It's Dipshit's turn again. Oh, Lucy is so ready to take the lunch money of this nerdy APC. I don't know what your high school experience was like, but I don't remember my bullies having several artillery shells when they were taking my lunch money. You got bullied? But you're like, terrifying. ...Well, I didn't, really. My sister did. You, uh, wanna talk about that? Nope. Fliss decides to engage this useless infantry. She hits him with the incredible power of the foregone conclusion. And Dave does what he does second-best: capturing properties. What does he do best? Slaying tanks. The rockets fled to a city to heal, but they did not flee even remotely far enough. You're in Selena's sights, rocket man. That's not gonna end well for you. Indeed, she tells him to piss off, and obligingly, he does, by exploding. Von Panzer's still looking around for that artillery, but really, the map is now done. All that remains is the formality of actually capturing the lab. I wonder if you have to capture the lab to get the plans? Like, does the map end differently if you rout the enemy instead? ...Well, they captured it, so I can't say for sure. Anyway, Von Panzer found it. It was an artillery. That's... why was that there? Why would you ever need to go that way when there's nothing of use over there? I don't know, my dude. Anyway, Dave captured the enemy lab. In only five days, too. I will begrudgingly admit that Dipshit did OK this time. I've not heard you throw a fit about the Black Hole infantrymen in a while, you know. I'm getting used to these things, but I still hate them. Oh, man, poo poo's getting real. Is the next map a big one? It's the final one - of the Orange Star portion of the campaign, anyway. What do you mean "portion of the campaign"? I told you, Commander, that I searched all of Wars World for you. (I needn't have bothered, since you were swanning about in another universe training Celestrian, but whatever.) That search led me to be involved in the conflicts of other countries, too. Oh, fun. Well, let's hope that Orange Star's last battle went alright! Now do we find out what was in those plans? ...Heh. I wouldn't say "difficult conditions". Mostly "horribly unfair conditions". Develop what. Neotanks, my dude. Neotanks. I NEED TO SEE THE STRONK TONKS. You will, just be patient.  I'll agree there. I want that in every Fog of War map from now on. "Hey, Sami here! There's a bomber in the fog here and a fighter over here, so don't leave anything in range. Bye!" That'd be just perfect...  Two? Max exists, Nell, and he's arguably the best of the bunch. Sami has her strengths too, though. Orange Star seem to enjoy celebrating their victories rather than, you know, pressing the advantage. I mean, in their defence, I don't think it's a proper party-esque celebration. Just more a quiet get-toge- ...OK, never mind. Another day, another victory. I think that's one thing you and Dipshit can agree on. ...Yeah. I gotta see what they do. I must know what power they hold. It's a shame Tina and Wilbert aren't here. Tina would have LOVED a Neotank, by the sounds of it. Indeed. Anyway, the next map is the final battle of Orange Star, and any one of the three COs could have been chosen for the mission. Please, please, just don't be Dipshit... (You know who to vote for, audience.) OK, back to my side of the story, anyway.*** Part 7 Additional
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Jan 24, 2020 15:22
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Neotanks... They look silly and are hella expensive - but they finally justify Medium Tanks being called "medium". Max should take them for a spin.
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Jan 24, 2020 16:24
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It's a new tank. It goes without saying that Max gets to use it.
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Jan 24, 2020 17:39
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quote:Aw, just a poor little lander in a lake. Why did they even put it there? What was the purpose? Max is a solid choice here.
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Jan 24, 2020 18:31
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I am surprised you can get Neotanks before Black Hole shows them off.
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Jan 24, 2020 19:34
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werbear posted:Neotanks... They look silly and are hella expensive - but they finally justify Medium Tanks being called "medium". This is sound logic. seconded
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Jan 24, 2020 21:17
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