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sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

https://twitter.com/Lj_era8/status/1485695643507175433

Please go away AB

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Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Lmao oh this is such an awful idea

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

Spoeank posted:

decided to make something exceptionally cursed today



The Packers going from a mildly washed up fraud to an almost completely washed up fraud would be great news for the North.

surf rock
Aug 12, 2007

We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.
It just struck me how utterly hosed most of the AFC is.

It feels inevitable that that conference will be won by some mixture of Mahomes, Allen, Burrow, and Herbert for the next decade. Maybe Lamar Jackson will get back there or Trevor Lawrence will level up or some rookie in the next five years will dazzle us all, but it's a goddamn gauntlet to get to the Super Bowl from the AFC side.

Good loving luck if you go to the Broncos, Rodgers, you moron.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Dude has never watched a ravens game and is star loving at this point lol

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

surf rock posted:

It just struck me how utterly hosed most of the AFC is.

It feels inevitable that that conference will be won by some mixture of Mahomes, Allen, Burrow, and Herbert for the next decade. Maybe Lamar Jackson will get back there or Trevor Lawrence will level up or some rookie in the next five years will dazzle us all, but it's a goddamn gauntlet to get to the Super Bowl from the AFC side.

Good loving luck if you go to the Broncos, Rodgers, you moron.

Mac JOwns will show you. He’ll show you all.

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling

The 4th time Lamar sails a pass over a wide open AB he’s gonna start stripping on the field otra vez

Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020

surf rock posted:

It just struck me how utterly hosed most of the AFC is.

It feels inevitable that that conference will be won by some mixture of Mahomes, Allen, Burrow, and Herbert for the next decade. Maybe Lamar Jackson will get back there or Trevor Lawrence will level up or some rookie in the next five years will dazzle us all, but it's a goddamn gauntlet to get to the Super Bowl from the AFC side.

Good loving luck if you go to the Broncos, Rodgers, you moron.

To add onto that; the rest of the afc is even more hosed than your list initially makes it seem. Because each of the afc divisions have a super star quarterback (assuming Lawrence pans out).

It’d be one thing if they were all clustered in the same division or two. But no, the 5* elite young qbs are perfectly spread across the afc.

Other teams are hosed and we can safely predict 4 of the 7 afc playoff teams.

*assuming, again, that Lawrence pans out

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Ornery and Hornery posted:

To add onto that; the rest of the afc is even more hosed than your list initially makes it seem. Because each of the afc divisions have a super star quarterback (assuming Lawrence pans out).

It’d be one thing if they were all clustered in the same division or two. But no, the 5* elite young qbs are perfectly spread across the afc.

*assuming, again, that Lawrence pans out

The AFC West has Mahomes and Herbert and Carr is still above average too

MrLogan
Feb 4, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!

surf rock posted:

It just struck me how utterly hosed most of the AFC is.

It feels inevitable that that conference will be won by some mixture of Mahomes, Allen, Burrow, and Herbert for the next decade. Maybe Lamar Jackson will get back there or Trevor Lawrence will level up or some rookie in the next five years will dazzle us all, but it's a goddamn gauntlet to get to the Super Bowl from the AFC side.

Good loving luck if you go to the Broncos, Rodgers, you moron.

Raiders have been been right there with these teams/winning when they play them (except the Chiefs games this year).

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
I think Josh Allen’s tank like frame and insane running ability make him the premier QB, as much as I hate to say it. Mahomes is right there too at the top and is becoming a better scrambler ever season but watching Allen injure defenders trying to tackle him is something else

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Josh Allen is cardio Ben.

Chucktesla
Jul 13, 2014

I think the only way the chargers can pass the Chiefs for any extended period of time at this point is if they have a couple bad drafts mixed with 2017 saints-level drafting by LA. That and for Kelce to retire. And Tyreek to lose a step. And for Reid to retire. And mahomes to look like midseason mahomes for the rest of his career. Chargers might have a shot then

Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020

It rules because Josh Allen has this baby face while trucking through nfl defenders

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Ornery and Hornery posted:

It rules because Josh Allen has this baby face while trucking through nfl defenders

I noticed at some point his resting face is a slightly confused look and I can never unsee it again.

This makes it worse as a probable long term rival, now I think of him as this adorable puppy who has no real idea what's going on but just demolishes everything in front of him.

surf rock
Aug 12, 2007

We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.

MrLogan posted:

Raiders have been been right there with these teams/winning when they play them (except the Chiefs games this year).

Like, I won't rule out a team going on a miracle run or getting carried by a world-beater defense or a couple of the guys I mentioned getting injured and opening up a window of opportunity, but it's just hard to watch last night's game and think that Carr's gonna get you through those two to the Super Bowl.

Ornery and Hornery posted:

Other teams are hosed and we can safely predict 4 of the 7 afc playoff teams.

Right, that's what I'm thinking. Other teams will make it to the playoffs, but the odds of making it to the other side are just brutal.

Pron on VHS posted:

I think Josh Allen’s tank like frame and insane running ability make him the premier QB, as much as I hate to say it. Mahomes is right there too at the top and is becoming a better scrambler ever season but watching Allen injure defenders trying to tackle him is something else

The one thing that worries me about Allen is wear and tear. I think he might have a Cam Newton-like trajectory. I hope not, but I could see the next year or two being his peak and then a decline as he loses a couple of steps. I think he's a better passer though, so he'll still be above-average, just not completely gamebreaking like he is now.

------------------

My top 10 QBs in the league from a dynasty perspective with their age as of the start of next season:

1.) Patrick Mahomes (AFC - 26)
2.) Josh Allen (AFC - 26)
3.) Justin Herbert (AFC - 24)
4.) Joe Burrow (AFC - 25)
5.) Kyler Murray (NFC - 25)
6.) Lamar Jackson (AFC - 25)
7.) Dak Prescott (NFC - 29)
8.) Matt Stafford (NFC - 34)
9.) Derek Carr (AFC - 31)
10.) Russel Wilson (NFC - 33)

Could Lawrence (AFC), Mac Jones (AFC), or Justin Fields (NFC) make that list? Sure. Could future rookies make the list? Sure. Could 26-year-old Deshaun Watson come back and make the AFC glut even worse? Sure.

But thinking about the next decade, five of the top six killers are in the AFC, and the oldest one will be 36 at the start of the 2032 season, whereas presumably three of the four NFC guys will be retired (and I doubt Kyler lives to see 35). Goddamn.

surf rock fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Jan 24, 2022

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

Chucktesla posted:

I think the only way the chargers can pass the Chiefs for any extended period of time at this point is if they have a couple bad drafts mixed with 2017 saints-level drafting by LA. That and for Kelce to retire. And Tyreek to lose a step. And for Reid to retire. And mahomes to look like midseason mahomes for the rest of his career. Chargers might have a shot then

The only thing the chargers really need at this point to be competitive is a few pieces on the front seven imo.

Chucktesla
Jul 13, 2014

Eifert Posting posted:

The only thing the chargers really need at this point to be competitive is a few pieces on the front seven imo.

After last night I think you need like five good corners as well

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Just lol at all you summer child teams who haven’t been living under the iron fist of a single (cheating) QB who wins everything for 20 years.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
This might be my bias speaking but I don't think the chiefs are complete enough to have like a Patriots style dynasty. So many more things can go wrong if you're just trying to outscore people versus having a genuinely good defense like the Pats almost always did.

Woozie66
Sep 8, 2009

I'll wait for the next era

Diva Cupcake posted:

Just lol at all you summer child teams who haven’t been living under the iron fist of a single (cheating) QB who wins everything for 20 years.

Honestly it was always comforting to me that I knew the Pats would put a stop to the Steelers and other AFC teams I didn't like.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Eifert Posting posted:

This might be my bias speaking but I don't think the chiefs are complete enough to have like a Patriots style dynasty. So many more things can go wrong if you're just trying to outscore people versus having a genuinely good defense like the Pats almost always did.

That's so much more fixable in a relatively short time, if things break well, than trying to get an offense like that put together.

surf rock
Aug 12, 2007

We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.

Diva Cupcake posted:

Just lol at all you summer child teams who haven’t been living under the iron fist of a single (cheating) QB who wins everything for 20 years.

As a viewer (and a fan of an NFC team), I'm honestly delighted because I think we'll get to watch absolute banger matchups in the playoffs like last night for years to come. It's so much better than watching the horribly grim Patriots Death March of the past 20 years. But at least during that timeframe you could kind of delude yourself as an AFC fan into thinking, "Well, maybe Peyton or Roethlisberger will take them out, and then we can squeeze by if they have a bad game" or something like that. Now it's an insane multi-game gauntlet if you don't have one of these miracle QBs.

Admittedly, the Raiders and Ravens were the only teams to do it until Mahomes showed up.

surf rock fucked around with this message at 22:14 on Jan 24, 2022

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Chiefs kind of remind me of the aughts Colts. Exceptional offense well schemed, stud pass rushers, rest of the defense hot and cold.


SilvergunSuperman posted:

That's so much more fixable in a relatively short time, if things break well, than trying to get an offense like that put together.

That's fair, It's very true that -both good and bad- defenses are much more transient than offenses.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
The chiefs have a better qb and hc than the colts ever had which matters a lot

Cimber
Feb 3, 2014
Probably the best week of football i can remember in a long time.

Bonus points for Brady having madface at the end of the game.

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
It's nice that the Brady vs. Cupp MVP debate was settled once and for all yesterday.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

The Puppy Bowl posted:

It's nice that the Brady vs. Cupp MVP debate was settled once and for all yesterday.

I mean, we all know who is actually winning it right? The result which makes literally no one happy.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Metapod posted:

The chiefs have a better qb and hc than the colts ever had which matters a lot

The Colts had a much worse division

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I mean, we all know who is actually winning it right? The result which makes literally no one happy.

I mean after what happened on Saturday, and how when they announce it we're just gonna get all those insulting nicknames hurled at him again... It kind of makes me happy.

Dude torched his legacy and like yeah he's good, but he did jack squat against an okay 49ers squad while Brady was leading a giant comeback that just fell short and Mahomes and Allen were doing that. It's just funny that he gets an MVP now.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

a neat cape posted:

The Colts had a much worse division

Eh the broncos and raiders are never making any noise as long as the top stays the same and the chargers will put up as much as a fight the titans did during the Peyton years

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Grittybeard posted:

He scored a touchdown this year. I note because I'd totally forgotten that. 5 receptions for 32 yards on the year. He was pretty much invisible but active most of the year, they tried working him in as the third receiver there for a while but every other option was just better.

I don't think he can get separation anymore so he's just a big body which is sad considering what could have been if he didn't throw his career away.

He can't get separation AND he can't win contested catches which makes him useless and Pringle is better.

YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

SilvergunSuperman posted:

That's so much more fixable in a relatively short time, if things break well, than trying to get an offense like that put together.

Fielding a consistently good defense is much harder than a consistently good offense. Defensive performance varies a lot year to year.

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you

YOLOsubmarine posted:

Fielding a consistently good defense is much harder than a consistently good offense. Defensive performance varies a lot year to year.

You can only win on the back of a top level defense for about 3-4 years at a time because guys get old/slow/injured. Players are just so fast now that once your guys start losing a step it's all downhill

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
nom nom nom nom

The Fall of Aaron Rodgers

quote:

Many people were happier to see him lose this weekend than Tom Brady.

The ultimate indictment.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
https://twitter.com/bengalsgoated/status/1485454932035710984?s=21

Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020

YOLOsubmarine posted:

Fielding a consistently good defense is much harder than a consistently good offense. Defensive performance varies a lot year to year.

Fielding a consistently good defense is much harder than a consistently good offense, assuming that the team already has a great QB.

Apples McGrind
Oct 13, 2013

Did anyone post this yet? cause lol https://twitter.com/darrenrovell/status/1485314361312915456

Grip it and rip it
Apr 28, 2020

Everyone talking about taxes on Twitter is wrong

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CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
He also got a signing bonus in cash which is also very funny

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