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Hector Delgado
Sep 23, 2007

Time for shore leave!!
I think/am sure the turtles in the pond at my local Bass Pro Shop are robots but the people I went with disagree. An employee told me they were real but I think he's in on it.

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Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

run on sentience posted:

Anyway, for my own content, I sometimes think google secretly has the technology to have their devices read minds. There have just been so many times when I've received extremely specific targeted ads about something I merely thought about and never typed or spoke that I question how it could just be an algorithm or coincidence.
I was at a second hand store once, and stumbled across this weird thing that I'd never seen before, and I picked it up, turned it over, looking for any indication of what it was, couldn't find anything, put it back on the shelf, went along with my day. Never said anything, never googled anything, never took my phone out of my pocket.

Later that night, I got an ad for that product, which as it turns out, was a climbing grip training board. I can't say I believe my phone read my mind, but I've never been more at a loss as to how something happened. RFID tag on the thing maybe?

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

There's just as many serial killers now as there ever were but we've lost the cultural ability to notice them

theyve just become more efficient and kill all their victims at once now

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
This is a dumb question, but do they (or if not, why don't they) weigh out the correct quantity of pills the same way they counted tickets at Chuck E. Cheese in the '90s?

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

Just read on the news that Ivana Trump died and I feel like any scenario where he had her killed seems much more likely than any other one.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

Anne Whateley posted:

This is a dumb question, but do they (or if not, why don't they) weigh out the correct quantity of pills the same way they counted tickets at Chuck E. Cheese in the '90s?

They can/do

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
Whole earth is real and geologist know about it, but as it's just really boring and dull, so big geology covers it up and makes up stories about how the worlds full of kick rear end Molten rock and interesting stuff so people will keep giving geology grants.

Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches
All sports are worked like pro wrestling

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Borrowed Ladder posted:

All sports are worked like pro wrestling

NFL definitely tilts the scale towards playoff teams that will boost super bowl ratings.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
Pro wrestling is 100% real, they just had to tell the authorities that it's only entertainment because such a brutal sport would be illegal. This narrative was conveniently seized upon and carried for them by all the haters.

Elentor
Dec 14, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Life is already some form of punishment and I refuse to believe this is real. At best I'm in some simulator as a bored member of a higher species wanting to feel something and I made a mistake in tuning what that something is.

Nemesis Of Moles
Jul 25, 2007

mine used to be the leaded gasoline thing but that's been scientifically proven now so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LordoftheScheisse
Jan 16, 2016

Elentor posted:

Life is already some form of punishment and I refuse to believe this is real. At best I'm in some simulator as a bored member of a higher species wanting to feel something and I made a mistake in tuning what that something is.

Heaven and hell aren't real, but are just conditions of earth determined by the actions of the majority of people. The more people sinning makes it more horrible, and vice-versa.

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost
Tiny screws can actually phase through the floor if you drop them and they bounce around a bit.

Don't give me this poo poo about mathematical improbability, just admit to it and give me my tiny screws back universe spirit thing.

If you can create everything on a whim you can give me very specific tiny screws. Just make them magically appear when I'm not looking and we call it even.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Elentor posted:

Life is already some form of punishment and I refuse to believe this is real. At best I'm in some simulator as a bored member of a higher species wanting to feel something and I made a mistake in tuning what that something is.

Isn't there a religion that states that life is hell and everyone goes to heaven when they die? Maybe I misunderstood or something.

T Bowl
Feb 6, 2006

Shut up DUMMY

Hyrax Attack! posted:

NFL definitely tilts the scale towards playoff teams that will boost super bowl ratings.

This has happened in literally every major league ever

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

The Butcher posted:

Tiny screws can actually phase through the floor if you drop them and they bounce around a bit.

Don't give me this poo poo about mathematical improbability, just admit to it and give me my tiny screws back universe spirit thing.

If you can create everything on a whim you can give me very specific tiny screws. Just make them magically appear when I'm not looking and we call it even.

Your obsession with building super charged micro machines must be stopped!

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
You can get a gazillion tiny screws on Amazon for a paltry fee and I bet you aren't even talking about tiny screws you're talking about tiny bolts

e: also just get a strong magnet and tape it to a stick

Computer viking
May 30, 2011
Now with less breakage.

YeahTubaMike posted:

Isn't there a religion that states that life is hell and everyone goes to heaven when they die? Maybe I misunderstood or something.

Summarising from Wikipedia aided by a vague memory of having read about them before:

Gnosticism holds that while there is a good supreme creator god, this material universe was created by a lesser evil god, trapping spirits into it. They try to integrate this with Christianity by saying that Jesus was a messenger from the non-material realms sent to help us rediscover the spiritual spark we carry from before we were trapped down here. As i understand it, the idea is to allow us to live better lives by understanding our true nature and the impermanent and imperfect nature of the world?

Also, this makes God of the old testament the bad guy and the serpent in paradise good, in some interpretations. Which is sort of neat. (Another take is that God is well-meaning but incompetent. Somehow both takes were considered heretical by the mainstream church.)

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

jenny jones fan
Dec 24, 2007

2 similar events that took place only 150 years apart

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

jenny jones fan posted:

2 similar events that took place only 150 years apart

2 events...
300 years ago was 1722...
150 is my answer to "do the math"

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Nelson Mandingo posted:

Lowtax was framed and shamed. He was completely honest about everything and there is a convenient excuse for literally everything you could criticize him for in his favor.

Except the Goldbelly. That was his one sin.

this is really gross

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos

YeahTubaMike posted:

Isn't there a religion that states that life is hell and everyone goes to heaven when they die? Maybe I misunderstood or something.
There's certain karmic interpretations that actually it's a good thing life on earth sucks because you'll tend to accrue more good karma than bad by just not being an absolute fucker and get reborn as a deva or asura if not a fortunate human.

This kind of ignores samsara as a cycle where devas, asuras, and fortunate humans have much less opportunity to accrue good karma (or achieve nirvana like you're supposed to want) and will probably end up as a rabbit, ghost, or in hot hell.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Computer viking posted:

(Another take is that God is well-meaning but incompetent. Somehow both takes were considered heretical by the mainstream church.)

This sounds like almost the exact inverse of what I would expect God to be.

edit for more honesty/clarity

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

zedprime posted:

There's certain karmic interpretations that actually it's a good thing life on earth sucks because you'll tend to accrue more good karma than bad by just not being an absolute fucker and get reborn as a deva or asura if not a fortunate human.

This kind of ignores samsara as a cycle where devas, asuras, and fortunate humans have much less opportunity to accrue good karma (or achieve nirvana like you're supposed to want) and will probably end up as a rabbit, ghost, or in hot hell.

Yeah there’s a lot of poo poo written about karma that indicates if human sacrifice yields good results, it’s worth it. Like karma will elevate your social status if the sacrifice ends up good. Like take away a man’s backhoe and give him a shovel, the job still gets done because it’s his life and his children get sick if he doesn’t. And since he never got to use the backhoe there is no difference, the job got done. And karma will reward him in the next life, because he is now broken in this one.

Mr. Smile Face Hat
Sep 15, 2003

Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy
Karma kramers into our lives.

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011

by Pragmatica
There has never been Aliens or UFO's that were not earthly creatures in its broadest sense.

Tighclops
Jan 23, 2008

Unable to deal with it


Grimey Drawer
The technology to make cheap, reusable spaceships using conventional rocketry has existed since at least the mid-late 80s and was suppressed by the owners of the aerospace industry so they could keep selling multimillion dollar expendable boosters to the world's governments. The space age was strangled in the crib partially so that a tiny group of rich people could get richer. Since the end of the Shuttle program they've gotten sloppy about keeping a lid on the industry and another of their kind moved in on their territory to feed his own ego. Now the legacy launch providers are getting hosed by a narcissistic idiot because of their own shortsightedness and greed, and for the most part the rest of the industry internationally is moving on.

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011

by Pragmatica
James Web whatever scope and all that space crap is a pipe dream for a small percent 1000 years from now

And its brings weirdos comfort.

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Sid Vicious posted:

this is really gross

I figured it was clear that was sarcasm. I'm poking fun at the people who "heroically" defended him and the cult of personality for years.

Nelson Mandingo fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Jul 16, 2022

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011

by Pragmatica
I always remember the domestic on cops. Like when a child was the supposed instigator.

"The child was remanded into state custody for a minimum of 12 months"

They all go off to some insane brutal readjustment camp

Sirhan Sirhan

etcetera

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Nelson Mandingo posted:

I figured it was clear that was sarcasm. I'm poking fun at the people who "heroically" defended him and the cult of personality for years.

ah i love you and am sorry

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Sid Vicious posted:

ah i love you and am sorry

:discourse:

B Squad Leader
Nov 1, 2009

HGTV and similar home improvement programming have been popularizing "open floor plans" for years, this is a psyop from Big Tech so that your webcams and smart speakers can see and hear more square footage

bartok
May 10, 2006



I don't really have any personal conspiracy theories but had a foster mom that was convinced that cats and dogs were fitted with microchips and hidden cameras to keep tabs on Americans. She was also part of one of those churches that are obsessed with being debt-free.

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

bartok posted:

foster mom that was convinced that cats and dogs were fitted with microchips

that part's true, maybe they're used for spying on top of pet IDs

Hector Delgado
Sep 23, 2007

Time for shore leave!!
The pets thing checks out cause I know mine had to know where I was and what I was doing at all time, especially the bathroom

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

My Lovely Horse posted:

Just read on the news that Ivana Trump died and I feel like any scenario where he had her killed seems much more likely than any other one.

They adjourned a deposition Trump was supposed to have because he's "grieving." Wouldn't put it past him at all.

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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
There are secret sexualities that only that top 0.01% are allowed to know about. Things like Hyper-Homosexuality. I can't say any more than that, I'm already putting myself in too much danger as it is.

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