What will you do for your mid life crisis?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What will you do for your mid life crisis?

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Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Genital enlargement surgery

# ? Nov 29, 2022 17:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 03:53

OB-GYN Kenobi: Dec 4, 2017

Genital reduction surgery

# ? Nov 29, 2022 17:23

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Mod edit: Removed

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Somebody fucked around with this message at 18:41 on Nov 29, 2022

# ? Nov 29, 2022 17:56

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Genital duplication surgery

# ? Nov 29, 2022 18:45

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

Toxic Mental posted:

Eat a loving turd

Whoah there! Eating a regular one should be enough for a mid life crisis! Save something for late life ...

# ? Nov 29, 2022 19:55

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

kntfkr posted:

Mod edit: Removed

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

I want to know what this was

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:03

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

Genital displacement surgery.

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:06

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

I want to know what this was

mods are gonna edit my post if i tell you so let me just say taht our beloved knutfucker is being a rascal again but we love him very much

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:11

Brain Curry: Feb 15, 2007; People think that I'm lazy
People think that I'm this fool because
I give a fuck about the government
I didn't graduate from high school

Got the wife some fake tiddies now that we�re in our mid 40s :mamacita:

cancer took the originals :negative:

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:18

Nyan Bread: Mar 17, 2006

genital rotation surgery

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:21

olives black: Nov 24, 2017; LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

Brain Curry posted:

Got the wife some fake tiddies now that we�re in our mid 40s

cancer took the originals

I'm sorry to hear that. Glad to hear that she's alive and well now, though

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:21

Veryslightlymad: Jun 3, 2007; I fight with
my brain
and with an
underlying
hatred of the
Erebonian
Noble Faction

Strange. There should have been a global alert that I had begun casting the Spell of Mastery.

# ? Nov 29, 2022 20:33

Pontificating Ass: Aug 2, 2002; What Doth Life?

Impregnate several women, but not be able to support any of the children. Cocaine overdose a few years later

# ? Nov 29, 2022 21:08

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Pontificating rear end posted:

Impregnate several women, but not be able to support any of the children. Cocaine overdose a few years later

A guy I went to HS with did this with probably 15-20 women by the time he was 35. Instead of dying from an OD like a man though, he now loudly complains about liberals and feminism on Facebook. He also lives with his mom as a 44 year old.

E: he also has an alternate name of Demon Dragon. Very scary indeed.

# ? Nov 29, 2022 22:09

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

I�m gonna open a hot dog truck guys

also post something that gets removed AND gets me probed

# ? Nov 29, 2022 22:32

Neukoln19: Oct 27, 2005

gonna find the one armed man who killed my wife, op

# ? Nov 30, 2022 02:28

OB-GYN Kenobi: Dec 4, 2017

Buy the dream car the guy next door always talks about, and when he gets upset with me do a sick burnout.

# ? Nov 30, 2022 02:38

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Astronaut!

# ? Nov 30, 2022 04:03

TelevisedInsanity: Dec 19, 2008; "You'll never know if you can fly unless you take the risk of falling."

Probably move to Brooklyn and just be the awkward guy who eats by himself while just looking at his phone ignoring everybody.

It's that or one of those "escape room" creators

# ? Nov 30, 2022 05:25

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

TelevisedInsanity posted:

Probably move to Brooklyn and just be the awkward guy who eats by himself while just looking at his phone ignoring everybody.

It's that or one of those "escape room" creators

There's more than enough people "doing a thing" in Brooklyn

# ? Nov 30, 2022 06:03

Relevant Tangent: Nov 18, 2016; Tangentially Relevant

Sex Labyrinth designer and tester

# ? Nov 30, 2022 16:38

CumBlast Radius Jr: Nov 1, 2022; by Azathoth

release a black metal album on cassette

# ? Nov 30, 2022 16:42

naem: May 29, 2011

perhaps one day soon, my very own Jan will settle for me

due to her own midlife crisis

# ? Nov 30, 2022 17:00

olives black: Nov 24, 2017; LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

CumBlast Radius Jr posted:

release a black metal album on cassette

shoot me a pm when you're ready, i'll preorder it :black101:

# ? Nov 30, 2022 17:31

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Ditch the knife and dual-wield forks

# ? Nov 30, 2022 19:40

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

kntfkr posted:

Mod edit: Removed

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

I'll probably do whatever this was because it is guaranteed to be litty

# ? Nov 30, 2022 19:42

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Shank a screw in a prison riot

# ? Nov 30, 2022 19:58

credburn: Jun 22, 2016; President, Founder of the Brent Spiner Fan Club

God if I have a midlife crisis now then I'm only halfway done :negative:

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:09

sigher: Apr 22, 2008; My guiding Moonlight...

CumBlast Radius Jr posted:

release a black metal album on cassette

No joke, me too.

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:14

olives black: Nov 24, 2017; LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

sigher posted:

No joke, me too.

olives black posted:

shoot me a pm when you're ready, i'll preorder it

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:24

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Break dancing???

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:26

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Pastel color pants

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:30

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Icochet posted:

Pastel color pants

Way waaay past you on that one.

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:40

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

sigher posted:

No joke, me too.

I'll make the wiki. Goon metal will rule!!

# ? Nov 30, 2022 20:40

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

Smugworth posted:

Genital enlargement surgery

OB-GYN Kenobi posted:

Genital reduction surgery

Genital maintenance surgery

# ? Nov 30, 2022 21:30

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Genital cryogenics

# ? Nov 30, 2022 21:31

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Scrotum tuck.

# ? Dec 1, 2022 12:21

Ape Fist: Feb 23, 2007; Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

im gonna make my balls really big but my dick really small, maybe even a dick that goes inside, like an inner dick, so when like i get a hardon or get horny from looking at ladies or really anything at all ill get a big boner that actually goes inside rather than outside lol, i think that would be really crazy and id definitely do it

# ? Dec 1, 2022 12:47

fresh_cheese: Jul 2, 2014; MY KPI IS HOW MANY VP NUTS I SUCK IN A FISCAL YEAR AND MY LAST THREE OFFICE CHAIRS COMMITTED SUICIDE

Get my rear end hair lazered off.

# ? Dec 1, 2022 13:14

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 03:53

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER: Nov 11, 2020; H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R

dogging and piking in the campervan

# ? Dec 1, 2022 13:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What will you do for your mid life crisis?

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