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Those FMV games were all complete trash. I remember my parents buying me a game when I was like 8 for my birthday and it ended up being the most awful obtuse FMV adventure game and it disappointed me so much because it was pretty rare that I got a game. I don't remember which one it was, it was set on a spaceship but I think I played it for half an hour before giving up.
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Aug 1, 2023 15:38
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Phantasmagoria was pretty good FMV game
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Aug 1, 2023 15:47
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Caesar Saladin posted:Those FMV games were all complete trash. I remember my parents buying me a game when I was like 8 for my birthday and it ended up being the most awful obtuse FMV adventure game and it disappointed me so much because it was pretty rare that I got a game. I don't remember which one it was, it was set on a spaceship but I think I played it for half an hour before giving up. Starship Titanic?
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Aug 1, 2023 15:49
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However, "A Fork in the Tale" was not.
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Aug 1, 2023 15:49
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Blue Footed Booby posted:Starship Titanic? Naw that wasn't it. I just remember it having a lot of live actors. I'd say it was like, 97ish.
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Aug 1, 2023 16:23
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Caesar Saladin posted:Those FMV games were all complete trash. I remember my parents buying me a game when I was like 8 for my birthday and it ended up being the most awful obtuse FMV adventure game and it disappointed me so much because it was pretty rare that I got a game. I don't remember which one it was, it was set on a spaceship but I think I played it for half an hour before giving up. Something these new fangled kids will never get to enjoy is buying a game collection just to get one game you want, then on a slow summer day giving the rest of them a try. I did that for Command & Conquer for Mac and later fired up Return to Zork. I foolishly thought all adventure games would be as great as Sam & Max. This was a bizarre kinda Myst knockoff with awful video clips of characters giving dialogue and the world was a mix of old west, dungeons, random technology, etc. The humor and acting was middle school level and the puzzles were incoherent. One highlight is that you could hit any character with your sword and get a clip of the actor dying, after which a mysterious figure would confiscate your inventory but not end the game, although it was now unwinnable. Which I guess is a slight improvement over Sierra adventure games allowing you to misuse critical items then save and play for more hours not knowing you can’t win.
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Aug 1, 2023 16:27
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JossiRossi posted:
NES version owner here. It didn't crash, but it was still awful. Caesar Saladin posted:Those FMV games were all complete trash. I remember my parents buying me a game when I was like 8 for my birthday and it ended up being the most awful obtuse FMV adventure game and it disappointed me so much because it was pretty rare that I got a game. I don't remember which one it was, it was set on a spaceship but I think I played it for half an hour before giving up. Spaceship Warlock? Hyrax Attack! posted:Something these new fangled kids will never get to enjoy is buying a game collection just to get one game you want, then on a slow summer day giving the rest of them a try. I did that for Command & Conquer for Mac and later fired up Return to Zork. I foolishly thought all adventure games would be as great as Sam & Max. This was a bizarre kinda Myst knockoff with awful video clips of characters giving dialogue and the world was a mix of old west, dungeons, random technology, etc. The humor and acting was middle school level and the puzzles were incoherent. Zork predates Myst! I know it's somewhat beloved, but not sure if that means any of them were good. Special achievement award to Sierra for releasing just enough good games to lull a younger, stupider version of myself into thinking they were consistent.
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Aug 1, 2023 16:46
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Vile_Nihlist666 posted:How about a bad, buggy game with horrendous gunplay that, in my opinion, is still accidentally fun? I have, somehow, fond memories of playing this broken mess: I rented this game so many times from Albertsons until I beat it. I’m sure it’s completely unplayable today but I have such fond memories of it.
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Aug 1, 2023 17:03
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:
Hahaha incredible Also ngl i really dig that simpsons track
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Aug 1, 2023 17:28
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Something these new fangled kids will never get to enjoy is buying a game collection just to get one game you want, then on a slow summer day giving the rest of them a try. That was a weird one. Interplay had a pack too that had Fallout 2, MDK, Giants and some other stuff in it. That can still happen those with all those PC Key bundles.
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Aug 1, 2023 17:31
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 This game was loving awful, but not as bad as  Gaints: Citizen Kabuto was loving awful
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Aug 1, 2023 17:39
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Vampire Panties posted:
i thought this thread was for terrible games, not terrible opinions
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Aug 1, 2023 17:41
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uh yeah what the hell those slap
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Aug 1, 2023 17:51
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Caesar Saladin posted:Those FMV games were all complete trash. I remember my parents buying me a game when I was like 8 for my birthday and it ended up being the most awful obtuse FMV adventure game and it disappointed me so much because it was pretty rare that I got a game. I don't remember which one it was, it was set on a spaceship but I think I played it for half an hour before giving up. The Journeyman Project games were decent
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Aug 1, 2023 18:53
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A game that stands out to me for being real fuckin bad despite how good it looks and sounds is Second Samurai on the Genesis (or I guess Mega Drive is more accurate since it was a Europe-only release). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE_9N3Y4Gc8 Completely different from the Amiga game of the same name so they built this game from the ground up for the Mega Drive and clearly put a lot of effort into the presentation, and yet it's still really bad because from the first stage, you've got poo poo like endlessly respawning enemies that just will not leave you alone, finicky platforming "puzzles", and just all around awkward mechanics as if they never bothered playtesting it, which is entirely possible given the circumstances of its release. Wikipedia posted:Development for the game was going smoothly, and plans were even in place to release a Mega-CD version alongside the Mega Drive. In 1993 however, Sony acquired Psygnosis as part of their ramp-up for the PlayStation and mandated that existing console projects be cancelled. Vivid Image was able to negotiate a settlement, allowing the release of the Mega Drive version, and a full payout. The Mega-CD version was never released.
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Aug 1, 2023 19:17
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Cyks posted:Guessing you missed the Xbox arcade version with 4 player support and updated graphics. Was only on the original and the live services shut down a whole 13 years ago (JFC that just made me feel old). Lol, yeah I missed it. Updated graphics aside, it looks just as terrible. I did play the PSX game Gauntlet Legends  It was decent, but the graphics were super ugly.  
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Aug 1, 2023 19:36
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Top Banana for the Amiga ST is so terrible, that it looks like it's trying to be. But it also has a special place in my heart.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k4CFYiBrPE Sloppy, corrupt looking graphics. Weird/awful audio samples. What more do you want? Good Sphere fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Aug 1, 2023 |
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Aug 1, 2023 19:48
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Considering the era and that it was trying to be as faithful to the cabinet version as possible the Gauntlet console ports didn't seem bad to me. As for my personal bad game, there was a dos based rock band simulator game I had as a kid that sucked really hard as an actual game due to the mechanics being opaque but had some tippy effects for drug use/overdosing despite being purely ascii based graphically. But anyway it sucked because no matter what you did it'd railroad you to getting hooked on hard poo poo and overdosing. Some random person, from your drummer, to your manager, to your mother would offer you heroin and even if you declined it was a coin flip on if you'd actually decline. Frustrated the gently caress out of me since I couldn't figure out how to get very far on anything but the baby difficulty since even managing stress levels ended with getting strung out and dead most of the time.
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Aug 1, 2023 19:54
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sim city 5 
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Aug 1, 2023 19:56
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maybealabia posted:
I'm with you. People say E.T. was the worst game of all time, and I'm like buddy, it wasn't even the worst game *that year*.
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Aug 1, 2023 20:02
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this game was impossible. i'm astounded at the patience for this playthrough
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Aug 1, 2023 20:21
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Bogus Adventure posted:Drakkhen i had this for Amiga when i was a kid. it looked a bit better than this snes port, but not by much, though it had some decent background art in interior spaces. the main problem with the game was insanely powerful dragons would just appear in the sky all the time and one-shot all your characters and then it was game over, and it would happen randomly everywhere in the world, there was nothing you could really do to deal with them. also the plot was incredibly obscure however, for 1989 the 3d first person interface was actually pretty cool Earwicker fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Aug 1, 2023 |
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Aug 1, 2023 20:31
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Poor gameplay is a much bigger sin to me than graphics issues. A good game can be ugly and still be good. The worst are games that look great but super repetitive click and level up. I can't remember the name but one I bought 10 years ago or so was this magic casting game where you'd progress up stairs to each small, identically shaped level where you'd kill stuff, get more powerful, add a ferret familiar, go up the stairs and do it again with your ferret also killing stuff but they're more powerful too. So pointless. Having said that the first game we got with our C64, maybe it came free but I could swear we bought the game from the little local store with the PC was Grave Robbers, a text game with ascii graphics. It was not good. 
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Aug 1, 2023 20:57
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crispix posted:sim city 5 The modular building idea seemed so good, shame it was basically the only good change
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Aug 1, 2023 21:00
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Big rear end On Fire posted:
Those are my socks, give them back, they don't even fit!
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Aug 1, 2023 21:09
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Vampire Panties posted:
MDK owns though
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Aug 1, 2023 21:13
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hi thread, it's me. I'm the complete dingus moron dipshit idiot who visited a retail establishment and exchanged money for a new copy of Rocko's Modern Life: Spunky's Dangerous Day  it's a densely mazey, frustrating, tedious platformer with mandatory escorting of your very dumb, very fragile dog. there are parts where you need to fight things, and you have maybe three offensive moves but really only one b/c the rest feel like pushing poor Rocko through neck-deep mud, and basically everything is faster than he is already. zero input from the series creator, kicked out the door to accompany the first season, iirc. I struggled my way to the end of that game, friends--on original hardware, so no save states, all the drat way through normal difficulty, in search of even a faint glimmer of the fun I'd had watching the show. and for my efforts I got a single screen saying, in effect, "oh, you thought this was where an ending goes? Nah. You don't get one of those until you do it all over again, on Hard." never touched that game again. still a bit salty about it, tbh
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Aug 1, 2023 21:21
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There was some lovely FMV game that came with a computer my family bought in the early 90s, Iron Helix. Game was nearly unplayable, and I'm seeing on wikipedia it got a good reception when released in 93, I couldn't disagree more it was dumb as hell and some security robot would just come and kill you 99% of the time
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Aug 1, 2023 21:26
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SatansOnion posted:hi thread, it's me. I'm the complete dingus moron dipshit idiot who visited a retail establishment and exchanged money for a new copy of Rocko's Modern Life: Spunky's Dangerous Day Okay, let's see what this is about...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1fH7SJQRMk Oh... Oh no...
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Aug 1, 2023 21:28
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I bought this PC game called Dinosaur Safari, thinking it was a game where you were a badass hunting dinosaurs with guns and such. Instead, it's some educational game where you go take photos of dinosaurs and answer quizzes and lame aliens are involved. Later on, I ended up getting the actual dino hunting game and I played it significantly less than I played DInosaur Safari, so maybe that game wasn't so bad after all since I cannot even remember the name of the hunting game and I ended up barely playing it. Unperson_47 fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Aug 1, 2023 |
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Aug 1, 2023 22:24
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SatansOnion posted:hi thread, it's me. I'm the complete dingus moron dipshit idiot who visited a retail establishment and exchanged money for a new copy of Rocko's Modern Life: Spunky's Dangerous Day Oh my God, I grew up with this game. gently caress this game dude, gently caress it completely and sincerely. Nonsense level design. Also while we're at it gently caress The Tick for SNES. It wasn't completely without charm thanks to the IP, but it was just janky enough to feel unfun, and it gad no save or password system, so you're just not beating it, ever.
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Aug 1, 2023 22:39
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Something these new fangled kids will never get to enjoy is buying a game collection just to get one game you want, then on a slow summer day giving the rest of them a try. I did that for Command & Conquer for Mac and later fired up Return to Zork. I foolishly thought all adventure games would be as great as Sam & Max. This was a bizarre kinda Myst knockoff with awful video clips of characters giving dialogue and the world was a mix of old west, dungeons, random technology, etc. The humor and acting was middle school level and the puzzles were incoherent. The first screen of the game had a plant where if you pluck it by hand instead of digging it up with a shovel (not sure if you even started with the shovel) you can't progress to a key area like 5 hours later.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:02
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Mechanics beat graphics every time. I've been playing NetHack for a zillion years and at BEST you get a graphically generous ASCII set.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:04
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Presenting, the Duke Nukem 3D experience, as seen https://i.imgur.com/6veATe3.mp4 And y'all thought 32X Doom was bad.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:11
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Blue Labrador posted:Oh my God, I grew up with this game. gently caress this game dude, gently caress it completely and sincerely. Nonsense level design. Looking up more about The Tick game to jog my memory: the music is actually kinda rad and it's not ugly, but it has 44 loving levels! In a Beat em up without any kind of progress-saving mechanism! Yeah gently caress that forever.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:21
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Bogus Adventure posted:Suddenly remembered another lovely PC game I had, Zorro: Capstone was a real crap factory. I bought Operation Body Count from a discount bin for about $5, and it was still too much. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUIrCYc2uDU&t=130s There was nothing redeeming about this game. None. An entire 1/3 of the game is just identical sewer level after identical sewer level. Then there was TekWar, one of the first games to use the Build engine, which I thankfully didn't buy because the demo was so bad. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vho7k1qON_w The video pretty much sums it up: you slog around a map while enemies you can't see shoot you from across it. Things like those Mega Man DOS games at least had the excuse that they were made by one person. Capstone was an actual company with whole teams working on this garbage.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:53
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Something these new fangled kids will never get to enjoy is buying a game collection just to get one game you want, then on a slow summer day giving the rest of them a try. I did that for Command & Conquer for Mac and later fired up Return to Zork Worth it for the Want some Rye? guy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHKKq7kMF8w
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Aug 2, 2023 00:03
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The_Franz posted:Capstone was a real crap factory. I bought Operation Body Count from a discount bin for about $5, and it was still too much. lol, that TekWar clip You can see Billy Shat is just doing it for the dollars, lmao
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Aug 2, 2023 00:10
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Beartaco posted:It still looks infinitely more playable than the officially licensed Super Mario Special. I've played both and while Super Boy 1 isn't quite as wretchedly awful as Super Mario Special was, it's loving DIRE as poo poo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTYdE9l5inM The hitboxes are truly special, the controls have the inertia of a small ocean liner, the music is awful, the game is buggy as poo poo (half the time getting hit as big Mario will just outright kill you, you can sometimes stand on lava etc) and for some reason they've randomized where the power ups appear. After the first couple of levels where they kinda tried to replicate the levels from Super Mario 1 they just started doing their own poo poo and the results are unbelievably bad.
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Aug 2, 2023 07:25
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Presto posted:I'm with you. People say E.T. was the worst game of all time, and I'm like buddy, it wasn't even the worst game *that year*. Sword quest (any of them really) is my vote because it's such a wtf is happening game you have to reference an included comic book to find the letters of a cipher that is the goal of the game. There's also the insane prize incentive that made them completely pointless after the prize was awarded.
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Aug 2, 2023 07:42
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