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345, 6667,99994 that's it it has to be it.... *HITS TIME TRAVEL BUTTON AGAIN
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Apr 28, 2024 23:44
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so in this timeline the appendix does nothing? drat, there goes my favorite hobby.
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Apr 29, 2024 01:54
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Volmarias posted:This is actually pretty interesting Well, now all books are printed on brown paper with white letters, and tablets are all green screen with dark red letters. It's very disorienting. All I did was suggest a different kind of chalk to use to some cave guy in...24000 BC or so? (Volmaris' idea reminds me of one I had myself, where some people finally invent a time machine, 'Let's go kill Hitler'. They find themselves getting stopped repeatedly by some mystery time traveller, they assume he's some time travelling fascist or 'THE TIMELINE MUST BE PRESERVED AT ALL COSTS NO ALTERATIONS EVER NO MATTER WHAT' guy. It's ultimately revealed that no, he actually comes from a timeline where things went much better for Germany in the first decades of the 20th century, they became a vast empire (still under the Kaiser), but they and Communist Russia annihilated themselves in a giant war in the 1960's; in this timeline, nuclear weapons were not discovered, so both sides ended up basically turning Europe and Russia into a toxic swamp from tons of chemical warfare instead, many millions dead, but there were some 'good things' that came out of it, like Africa uniting as a continent and becoming basically the new center of global economy and culture, and the United States not interfering in so many third world nations because there was no Cold War as we knew it, and so on. But the time traveller thought that the destruction of Europe and Russia was so terrible that nothing could be worse, so he went back and altered some stuff so Germany lost the first World War. His alteration led to our timeline, and the idea was presented that time has some sort of conscious will of its own, and while it can't prevent change if beings manage to evolve enough to actually alter it, it gets to decide the butterfly effects and it REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HATES if someone fucks with its design. The time traveller that's interfering, as he reveals, is actually Jewish: the Holocaust, and it's suggested, the strange intensity of antisemitism throughout history, is because history went "Look, many millions were supposed to die. Now I have to change how it happened, but they all still have to die. And you hosed me over, so I'm going to teach you a lesson: DON'T CHANGE WHAT WAS DONE, BECAUSE IT CAN ALWAYS BE FREAKING WORSE, AS I HAVE SHOWED YOU." The interfering party is getting in their way because if they kill Hitler, then odds are the new timeline will be even worse, because that will be twice now history has changed, and the first time resulted in nuclear weapons and the Holocaust and the Cold War, so what the hell would a third 'Look, many millions have to die, this is UNCHANGEABLE' timeline look like?")
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Apr 29, 2024 04:23
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Wait, wait, wait, I made this thjs thread?! bad move from past me, thankfully I am a wiser man today than I was back then.
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Apr 29, 2024 04:43
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Look, "baby shark" is a million times better than the one that damned my original timeline. You're welcome.
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Apr 29, 2024 05:33
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i tried to kill hitler but couldnt find him so i gave up and now im back home with my pants around my ankles having a beer. maybe tomorrow
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Apr 29, 2024 10:45
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I'll keep blowing up whoever gets credited with inventing the smartphone. Oh wait you meant making things worse.
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Apr 29, 2024 12:53
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*sneezes* Ah, poo poo, now I'm shedding the COVID vaccine and we're getting 5g signal four centuries early....
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Apr 29, 2024 13:42
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So originally this time now was meant to be dino paradise with dino society evolving into a peaceful utopia of love, creativity, and kindness. Alas I sort of screwed up the dino Armageddon solution to the whole asteroid thing. Unfortunately I asked the t-rex astronauts to sign a scale model of the space ship it would be flying and it got a hand cramp, that caused it to crash, and now there isn't a dino society any more, my t-rex astronaut signed model spaceship isn't worth poo poo on ebay. 
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Apr 29, 2024 14:47
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Oh god the confederates won the civil war this is really hosed up
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Apr 29, 2024 14:48
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Enh, close enough. *wards off giant mosquitos
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Apr 29, 2024 15:39
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Ok I hosed up, time now goes backwards for some reason, don't worry I got this don't poo poo.
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Apr 29, 2024 17:22
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Smugworth posted:Oh god the confederates won the civil war this is really hosed up https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0389828/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_7_nm_1_q_csa%2520
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Apr 29, 2024 17:47
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Ground floor page 1 e: what the actual gently caress
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Apr 29, 2024 20:12
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Karate Bastard posted:Ok I hosed up, time now goes backwards for some reason, don't worry I got this don't poo poo. What the gently caress! Times going backwards now, does anyone know what the hells going on?
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Apr 29, 2024 20:48
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got an awesome idea for a palette swap of a cacodemon, going to go back in time and put it in doom 2. also, a cool bouncy enemy for quake 1, that'll liven up episode 4.
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Apr 29, 2024 21:33
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You bastard.
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Apr 29, 2024 21:37
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Well the good news is that the time machine works, flip side I lost my snakes.
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Apr 29, 2024 22:21
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i went back in time and re-invited the wheel for the first time
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Apr 29, 2024 22:49
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*zaps back to present time* whew, that was tough but i managed to convince all those sailors to let the dodo birds live... *a pair of dodo birds in cop uniforms taze me and body slam me to the ground*
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Apr 29, 2024 22:52
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*adjusts etymology of "bird" so that people call them "cock gobblers"*
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Apr 29, 2024 23:14
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Well, I went back to February 3rd, 1959 and told Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper not to get on the plane and played them "American Pie" by Don McLean. Now it seems all three lived to at least 1971 so they could take turns repeatedly punching McLean in the dick for writing such a poo poo rear end butt poop tribute song. Pretty good outcome, I must say.
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Apr 29, 2024 23:47
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A Bigger Bopper has crashed into the second corn field.
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Apr 29, 2024 23:57
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You Are A Werewolf posted:Well, I went back to February 3rd, 1959 and told Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper not to get on the plane and played them "American Pie" by Don McLean. the day don's dick died
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Apr 30, 2024 00:19
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Karate Bastard posted:Ok I hosed up, time now goes backwards for some reason, don't worry I got this don't poo poo. .ti⑁ƨ TEИƎT lɒɘɿ ɘmoƧ .ni ϱnibilƨ tƨuᒑ ƨi qooq ɘ⑁t ,γɒwγnɒ won ti⑁ƨ nɒɔ ɘw ɘʞil ton ƨ'ti llɘW Volmarias fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Apr 30, 2024 |
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Apr 30, 2024 03:17
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By my calculations two wrongs don't make a right but ten wrongs make it sorta back to normal.
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Apr 30, 2024 03:31
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Why are there so drat many butterflies???
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Apr 30, 2024 03:55
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You Are A Werewolf posted:Well, I went back to February 3rd, 1959 and told Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper not to get on the plane and played them "American Pie" by Don McLean. I went back and played them the Madonna version and they couldn't get on the plane fast enough.
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Apr 30, 2024 04:41
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Imagine it says "time machine".
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Apr 30, 2024 06:31
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God drat you Birkowski!
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Apr 30, 2024 06:35
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Redshirt, did I cause your new avatar? Blink twice for 'yes'.
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Apr 30, 2024 07:34
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aw dangit, this universe got the MLP incursion event too, time for another go. maybe only burn half of the Library of Alexandria this time
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Apr 30, 2024 09:34
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numberoneposter posted:*adjusts etymology of "bird" so that people call them "cock gobblers"* 
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Apr 30, 2024 12:44
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By popular demand posted:Redshirt, did I cause your new avatar? Blink twice for 'yes'. *blinks
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Apr 30, 2024 15:10
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, is instantly transformed into a tangled jumble of temporally displaced limbs*
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Apr 30, 2024 15:33
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Somehow I didn't get credit for my high-school gym class in this timeline and now I have to retake it as an adult but I'm late for the first class and the gymnasium isn't where I thought it was and where are my pants???
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Apr 30, 2024 18:02
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Enh, good enough *shoos away giant Shmoo
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Apr 30, 2024 18:10
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oh no mozart didn't exist back then, i must become him and write all his music! uh oops turns out he did exist and is really pissed off, also he stole my time machine
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Apr 30, 2024 18:21
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ShredsYouSay posted:oh no mozart didn't exist back then, i must become him and write all his music! duh duh duh duuuhhhhhnnmn
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Apr 30, 2024 18:31
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Good news! I found out what killed all the other timelines. It was basically the invention of the sqrnt, which is a- *entire dimension gets obliterated by time cops*
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Apr 30, 2024 18:35
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