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Bloody Hedgehog posted:Destroy Hollywood, replace it with Rolliewood. I met Rollie Fingers at a Casino conference in the spring. He's alright.
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Oct 6, 2016 07:42
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i fingered a fat chick at mohegan sun's bathroom once make a heist movie of it with the fat guy from parks and rec as the dude that waltzed into the stall next to us and cut the dankest loaf
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Oct 6, 2016 07:43
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Kuato posted:I met Rollie Fingers at a Casino conference in the spring. He's alright. This will be the tagline for an upcoming Rollie casino heist movie.
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Oct 6, 2016 08:01
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this is still the answer just go back to that and movies will be good again
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Oct 6, 2016 08:10
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If you make an animated movie you have to hire actual voice actors. No more A Lister poo poo heads that can't do it.
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Oct 6, 2016 08:22
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Wolverine versus Catwoman versus Jor-El, the musical, with a cameo by Borat.
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Oct 6, 2016 08:27
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thathonkey posted:a return to 80's-style synth heavy soundtracks imho
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Oct 6, 2016 09:07
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The Cold War's back in a big way. Pay James Cameron (or Steven Spielberg) a ludicrous amount of money to walk away from Avatar (or Ready Player One) to direct a trilogy based on Tom Clancy's Red Storm Rising.
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Oct 6, 2016 09:14
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More dong. Get real gay with it.
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Oct 6, 2016 09:25
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Like smellovision, except instead of spraying chemical scents, it sprays out aerosolized poo poo from a homeless man infected with ebola and aids.
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Oct 6, 2016 09:36
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Name movie sequels correctly. Look at what happens when you just don't even know what to do and everyone just does whatever they feel like: Alien Aliens Alien³ Alien: Resurrection Now let's see something with some sensible structure: Police Academy Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment Police Academy 3: Back in Training Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach Police Academy 6: City Under Siege Police Academy: Mission to Moscow First movie title, numeral, subtitle. Simplicity, itself. But look at how it ends there. They knew they were on to something. Let's call it a compromise. A naming scheme that's a little more forward thinking. Let's see this applied a little shakily at first, but then correctly. X-Men X2 X-Men: The Last Stand X-Men: First Class X-Men: Days of Future Past X-Men: Apocalypse Ok, there was a little setback with the first sequel, but look how they pulled through. Look how much nicer those titles look than: Batman Begins Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, The Nolan, you piece of poo poo! 
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Oct 6, 2016 09:52
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Toadvine posted:I disagree with the op, good movies still get made. Older movies just persevere while all the many bad old movies are forgotten. Yep. Also you're getting old and stupid , generally Although if you want a real answer OP its fix general American education
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Oct 6, 2016 10:35
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Movies have always been this bad. You really need to watch more movies.
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Oct 6, 2016 13:32
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times have changed for the worst if people can't get their dicks out at the next king kong or mighty joe young screening
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Oct 6, 2016 14:01
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Declare a new dogma- no special effects. real blood, real bullets, real wounds if their characters dies so do the actors.
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Oct 6, 2016 15:33
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The fundamental concept of cinema and films in general is not that is a depiction of reality but that it tells a story using its own symbolic language. Even the most realistic documentary cannot give an accurate representation of reality once it's assembled onto celluloid. The problem isn't so necessarily the way that film-makers present the didactic story or film, but the way the uneducated audience perceives it. Because it is a language it needs to be learned as a language. Individuals can't learn a language simply by watching people speak it, they must engage in speaking, writing, and listening. The same goes for the cinematic. The visual syntax is not a literal representation but means something more complex than its two-dimensional projection implies.
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Oct 6, 2016 16:05
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The major studios are taken into democratic public ownership and, with no profit motive, creativity will be allowed to flourish. Basically, full socialism now.
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Oct 6, 2016 16:22
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:This will be the tagline for an upcoming Rollie casino heist movie. It's Oceans 11, only starring the '82 Milwaukee Brewers instead of the Rat Pack or George Clooney. Rollie disables the security cameras by throwing baseballs at them. Robin Yount hits security guards with a bat. Gorman Thomas drinks lite beer and plays video poker.
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Oct 6, 2016 16:39
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Neutrino posted:The fundamental concept of cinema and films in general is not that is a depiction of reality but that it tells a story using its own symbolic language. Even the most realistic documentary cannot give an accurate representation of reality once it's assembled onto celluloid. The problem isn't so necessarily the way that film-makers present the didactic story or film, but the way the uneducated audience perceives it. Because it is a language it needs to be learned as a language. Individuals can't learn a language simply by watching people speak it, they must engage in speaking, writing, and listening. The same goes for the cinematic. The visual syntax is not a literal representation but means something more complex than its two-dimensional projection implies. So you're saying it's the public's fault we didn't like the Star Wars prequels?
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Oct 6, 2016 16:50
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Neutrino posted:The fundamental concept of cinema and films in general is not that is a depiction of reality but that it tells a story using its own symbolic language. Even the most realistic documentary cannot give an accurate representation of reality once it's assembled onto celluloid. The problem isn't so necessarily the way that film-makers present the didactic story or film, but the way the uneducated audience perceives it. Because it is a language it needs to be learned as a language. Individuals can't learn a language simply by watching people speak it, they must engage in speaking, writing, and listening. The same goes for the cinematic. The visual syntax is not a literal representation but means something more complex than its two-dimensional projection implies. you're using this word wrong
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Oct 6, 2016 16:55
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clone vince gilligan over and over.
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Oct 6, 2016 16:58
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FreudianSlippers posted:Movies have always been this bad. You really need to watch more movies. I watch a lot of forgotten poo poo from the 80s and this couldn't be more true Granted old bad movies tend to fail in a more fun way instead of the modern boring calculated way, I gotta second whoever said the Cannon films approach needs to make a comeback. Bad movies from the 80s are in their own realm of watchability compared to the mid-90s and forward and I think cocaine is to thank for that
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Oct 6, 2016 17:08
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Starcraft Movie Trilogy. Movie 1 Human Kerrigan with tits normal human penetration. Movie 2 Zerg Kerrigan with tits tentacle penetration. Movie 3 Whatever Kerrigan is now with tits and Protoss penetration.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:30
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proof of concept posted:this is still the answer Evidence of the exact opposite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPdQn2eqdyM
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Oct 6, 2016 17:37
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actually that rules
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Oct 6, 2016 17:39
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Bring back the Hayes Code
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Oct 6, 2016 17:41
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proof of concept posted:actually that rules Well I hope you brought enough blotter acid for everyone, cause that movie was a two-hour dayglow trainwreck. Even with all that yayo everyone's practically visibly cringing in every scene.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:56
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I can't find a YT version but check out how they do "Maxwell's Silver Hammer": http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x306xwf No amount of irony is saving that.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:01
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Is that Magenta in that? Holy poo poo I forgot that everyone ever is in it; it's like the cokeboat safely docked in Hollywood Harbor.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:12
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Chlamyllionaire posted:Well I hope you brought enough blotter acid for everyone, cause that movie was a two-hour dayglow trainwreck. Even with all that yayo everyone's practically visibly cringing in every scene. beats the poo poo out of a bland bowl of cinematic gruel that's had anything remotely interesting stripped out of it by the time it makes it through the 20 focus groups it has to pass through
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Oct 6, 2016 18:15
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Point taken. Most recent films I've enjoyed were low, low budget horror/suspense movies, the farther from Hollywood the better.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:22
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Actively seek out only projects that have been stuck in development Hell for 4 or more years and fast track them for funding. You can tell those are the good projects because the suits keep saying no.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:51
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LegoPirateNinja posted:ban all sound archives. now you have to produce original sound effects for 100% of your film. I don't watch things often, hardly at all actually, but it's incredibly jarring to hear the exact same crocodile or fart stock noise across the two movies I get forced to see each year.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:54
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More movies about people who have a fetish for car accidents
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Oct 6, 2016 18:58
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Egbert Souse posted:Give exactly one million dollars and ten months to any unknown filmmaker with a finished script to make anything they want. The ones that produce a somewhat watchable film get to move on to the $10 million / 18 month tier. There might be a $25 million tier above that but that is the limit. There will be no more $250 million movies with a marketing budget of several hundred million. These budgets also guarantee no remakes or comic book movies because you can't really afford the rights.
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Oct 6, 2016 19:36
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if i was in charge of hollywood movies couldnt be longer than 15 minutes and theyd all be on youtube
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Oct 6, 2016 20:29
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Market a high-minded psychological thriller as the most generic family-friendly movie I could think of. Downplay that it's rated R and has scenes of realistic violence and gratuitous nudity. Like how I imagined Nine Lives was going to be when I first saw the trailer.
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Oct 6, 2016 20:35
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No more live-action. 100% anime. It is obviously the superior medium for storytelling
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Oct 6, 2016 21:40
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Some real good ideas in this thread. I really like LegoPirateNinja's point: gently caress stock sounds. They sound like poo poo if you're not braindead.
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Oct 7, 2016 01:23
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Manic Mailman posted:Starcraft Movie Trilogy. who is karrigen and what does he/she look like
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Oct 7, 2016 01:31
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