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Why's his name big raper?
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Jun 23, 2015 03:42
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The Valuum posted:Here it is! Dude that is some poo poo. I sliced my knee open on Saturday and had to get stitches. They gave me a numbing agent and washed that out with a poo poo load of water. Prison stitching though  . That could get infected so fast, and gently caress doing that without some kind of painkiller.
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Jun 24, 2015 05:43
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A Saucy Bratwurst posted:Why's his name big raper? "Ray" would be part of his name, the Ray-per was just kind of a joke.
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Jun 24, 2015 17:07
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Stroop There It Is posted:Laughed out loud at this: We called them turtle suits and seeing someone acting up get locked in one for a day was hilarious. You should watch someone try to eat a hard boiled egg with 1 hand while strapped in a wheelchair.
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Jun 24, 2015 19:22
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How do prisons handle contractors or maintenance guys who have to come in and fix a plumbing issue or something similar? Are inmates just moved out of their way or do they work under CO supervision? I'd imagine sooner or later something breaks beyond the point where you can ignore it and a guy comes in to repair it, does that actually happen?
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Jul 13, 2015 11:41
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I read that someone said that the way your farts come out/sound you can tell if their anus is more stretched out. I don't know why I first heard this in someone else's ama about jail
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Jul 13, 2015 13:52
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I heard if you swallow a watermelon seed it will grow in your stomach.
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Jul 13, 2015 16:09
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i heard if you stick a watermelon up your rear end, your farts sound hella weird
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Jul 13, 2015 16:12
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I heard if you do that, the prison has to get a plumber in to get it out, then you can escape by taking his hand hostage with your anus
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Jul 13, 2015 18:06
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Reiley posted:How do prisons handle contractors or maintenance guys who have to come in and fix a plumbing issue or something similar? Are inmates just moved out of their way or do they work under CO supervision? I'd imagine sooner or later something breaks beyond the point where you can ignore it and a guy comes in to repair it, does that actually happen? That's what I do at the state prison - plant operations. We have a full metal shop, carpentry shop, auto shop, HVAC shop, paint shop, electricians, landscapers, plumbers and general maintenance guys - about 45-50 people for a prison with ~2500 inmate capacity. The place is old and falling apart, so a newer facility would probably need fewer people. Each worker usually has a couple inmate helpers, and some are pretty skilled. There's two inmates in the machine shop that do excellent work, as good as any journeyman machinist that I've ever seen. When we go into the cellblocks or dorms to fix poo poo, typically the CO's just move the inmates away from our immediate area and we fix whatever is broken. The big exception are the SHU and AdSeg(the hole) units, we have to wear stab vests at all times and inmates are moved well clear of us and watched carefully. The inmate workers can't come with us to those units, either. The only time we need outside contractors are when the high-voltage (440v+) stuff takes a poo poo, one of us escorts the outside guys to the area and stays with him/her at all times.
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Jul 14, 2015 01:51
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The Valuum posted:It becomes a way for these guys to provide for their families while they're incarcerated. Being the guy with "the bag" is a huge deal in prison, poo poo it's a big deal in the world too. Did anyone call this guy out for plagiarizing true detective?
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Jul 15, 2015 06:58
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Fish Cant Hold Gun posted:Did anyone call this guy out for plagiarizing true detective? Plot twist: it was all a dream
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Jul 15, 2015 08:46
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goodness posted:Plot twist: it was all a dream If you look at just the right angle and just the right moment the shitposts form a spiral in the sky
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Jul 15, 2015 23:12
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Reiley posted:How do prisons handle contractors or maintenance guys who have to come in and fix a plumbing issue or something similar? Are inmates just moved out of their way or do they work under CO supervision? I'd imagine sooner or later something breaks beyond the point where you can ignore it and a guy comes in to repair it, does that actually happen? To add to to Jnny's informative post: in women's jail, we also had on-site maintenance, sometimes plant guys like Jnny and sometimes male inmates from the jail, depending on the situation. Either way, we'd be instantly alerted to the fact because one of our (always female) CO's would walk into the pod screaming "MALE ON THE FLOOR!" so you could cover yourself up if you were changing or taking a poo poo or whatnot. Of course, the way some noses were suddenly pressed to the glass after the siren song of "MALE ON THE FLOOR", I'm surprised more women didn't actually strip for the guys. (Did I get horny being away from my bf? Sure, but I didn't drool over the dude fixing our microwave simply because he had XY chromosomes. But some of those gals, yeesh.)
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Jul 15, 2015 23:43
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It's because of this thread that I got really annoyed today when some random guy said "Hey man, lemme get a cigarette from you..." when he saw that I had a pack in my hand.
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Jul 16, 2015 01:14
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Its informal and it allows to person to easily say "no" without feeling bad. It says a lot about someone who gets irritated over that. Were you to pussy to say no? Like the guy who spends hundreds of dollars his family gives him on drugs but resent people asking for Ramen noodle seasoning. Im just teasing OP this was a good thread good luck and hope youre ok.
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Jul 16, 2015 13:26
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This is a great thread, read the whole thing when I discovered it a couple of months ago. I just read a New York Times article about a couple of guys who were in prison who now take released inmates on their first day out to get food, buy clothes, and give them information about how the world has changed since they've been inside. They deal mostly with people put in prison in the early 90's when the 3rd strike policy was implemented, people doing 20-life who are released into an unfamiliar world. Its kind of a long read (as Times articles tend to be) but it kept me interested the whole way through. You Just Got Out of Prison. Now What? E: Posting from my phone so I changed the link from "mobile.nytimes.co...." to "nytimes.com". I assume it works let me know if there are issues though om nom nom fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Jul 16, 2015 |
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Jul 16, 2015 21:02
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Rap Music and Dope posted:Its informal and it allows to person to easily say "no" without feeling bad. It says a lot about someone who gets irritated over that. Were you to pussy to say no? Like the guy who spends hundreds of dollars his family gives him on drugs but resent people asking for Ramen noodle seasoning. Im just teasing OP this was a good thread good luck and hope youre ok. Actually no, I'm pretty sure it's pretty impolite to a total stranger, and implies you're entitled to something that isn't yours. If you had heard the discussion earlier in the thread maybe you would have understood that. Of course I didn't give him my cigarette.
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Jul 16, 2015 23:18
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dinoputz posted:Actually no, I'm pretty sure it's pretty impolite to a total stranger, and implies you're entitled to something that isn't yours. If you had heard the discussion earlier in the thread maybe you would have understood that. I did read the thread idiot how would I have known about the seasoning anecdote? Good job standing up yourself and saying no. A TOTAL STRANGER asking you for a cigarette. OMG!
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Jul 17, 2015 16:54
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I bummed a smoke to a homeless dude last night and had an interesting conversation about bicycles. Sometimes giving your poo poo away isn't the worst thing in the world.
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Jul 17, 2015 17:32
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That NYT article is great.
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Jul 17, 2015 22:40
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JacquelineDempsey posted:To add to to Jnny's informative post: in women's jail, we also had on-site maintenance, sometimes plant guys like Jnny and sometimes male inmates from the jail, depending on the situation. Either way, we'd be instantly alerted to the fact because one of our (always female) CO's would walk into the pod screaming "MALE ON THE FLOOR!" so you could cover yourself up if you were changing or taking a poo poo or whatnot. The women in county flash the guys when they walk by all the time, haha. Wow, the "lemme get" thing really blew up. It's different in prison because it's every day. It's a sense of entitlement, it isn't really as much about a have-not asking a have for something, because 2 broke dudes will do it to each other. It's just this sense of obligation and entitlement to share. Also the guy who wrote the buck fifty story wants to know if you guys want to hear some other stories? He's got a good story about being extradited from Nevada to Michigan. Speaking of true detective, I sent him "Galveston" which was written by the guy who made True Detective. He said he loved it. Here's an excerpt from his latest email. " i do have to thank you for at least not sending me another bathroom beefcake boy shot. i swear the inspector was about to flag my mail for gay porn if you sent me one more flexshot. cant you send these girls rear end and titty shots? or is it a face only deal?" In reference to me sending him pictures of my bodybuilding progress, haha. The girl I'm dating now is doing a good job keeping me clean off dope, I'm trying to shy away from the blogging aspect of this thread, but she's a good one  Chunky as hell too!I get off tether Thursday!
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Jul 26, 2015 00:32
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The Valuum posted:The women in county flash the guys when they walk by all the time, haha. I used to see guys down on the floor at night by the back door of our block saying ridiculous romantic notions at their girls mopping in the hallway. And then girls out in the yard at the work center who would make eyes at you but no boobs. My boy who worked the late night laundry said he got a little piece once though. It seemed like there was a possibility that it happened but it sounded like tales out of school. quote:I get off tether Thursday! If you work it you're worth it so keep working and keep coming back. We lost a forums poster back in February to the disease. I knew a few of his problems beyond being a computer man and watched him slip away having a little too much to drink and then going back to old habits.
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Jul 26, 2015 01:18
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The Valuum posted:I'm trying to shy away from the blogging aspect of this thread Don't loving apologize for this, you're a dude with a good head on his shoulders who made some bad decisions and now you're trying to get out from under them. You blogging your poo poo is better than 99% of SA and I've learned more from this thread than all of GBS. Also congrats on the tether!
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Jul 26, 2015 02:08
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Valuum, do you think this whole thread and writing has been therapeutic for you? Has it helped to voice your thoughts and have an outlet? I imagine in general it has, but what about with regards to relapse?
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Jul 26, 2015 02:10
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syscall girl posted:I used to see guys down on the floor at night by the back door of our block saying ridiculous romantic notions at their girls mopping in the hallway. And then girls out in the yard at the work center who would make eyes at you but no boobs. My boy who worked the late night laundry said he got a little piece once though. It seemed like there was a possibility that it happened but it sounded like tales out of school. In Macomb county jail they do what's called toilet talk. There's a way you can clear out the water of the toilets and talk through them to the women's cell. The guy in the OP, Brian (the one who met his girlfriend via this thread) met one of his ex girlfriends via toilet talk. Thank you! bitcoin bastard posted:Don't loving apologize for this, you're a dude with a good head on his shoulders who made some bad decisions and now you're trying to get out from under them. You blogging your poo poo is better than 99% of SA and I've learned more from this thread than all of GBS. Also congrats on the tether! Thank you, I guess I'll talk about her more. First of all she LOVES getting on IRC and TCC's tiny chat. She wants to post something on here sometime. I know I'm always getting girls and talking about them but this one actually cares about my well being. She HATES heroin and actually looks out for me. Instead of using me for money she's actually bought me stuff. She also works 2 jobs which makes her more of a success than any other girl. She wanted me to post this picture so show how happy we are.   She's also the first girl that my family has actually liked. I go to parole every 2 weeks and have to drop, I had just dropped that day and she was smoking weed (only drug she does). I asked her for one hit (I would have been fine) and she wouldn't give it to me. It's nice to have someone that truly cares about me and not just what I can do for them. I'm gonna see her Thursday and she wants to write something on here. swickles posted:Valuum, do you think this whole thread and writing has been therapeutic for you? Has it helped to voice your thoughts and have an outlet? I imagine in general it has, but what about with regards to relapse? Yes, in a small way it makes me feel accountable. I feel a ton of support from this thread. When I was in rehab I got a few letters. It also makes me really proud that I brought entertainment to so many people. It makes me happy when people tell me they like my writing, that the thread was informative or entertaining. It feels like I accomplished something based on an empire of lovely experiences at least. I don't know if this thread could prevent a relapse, but it makes me feel guilty when I have relapsed. I was thinking of doing some kind of contest for my friend. He doesn't have any family or friends that visit him in prison. I wanted to get something going where people mail him stuff, stupid poo poo, serious pen pal letters, whatever. I'm not sure how I'd do it but I was thinking maybe of having a month period where people can send him poo poo and at the end he picks the winner, and I give the winner a $25 amazon gift card. If we get the formal rules worked out I would purchase the amazon gift card ahead of time and give it to JDempsey to hold in escrow. Any interest? I think it would be funny to see if the comedy option or the pen pal option would win. He is another legit good guy. Stood up for me many times, he didn't have poo poo but if he borrowed a noodle he paid it back. If I needed drugs and he had the connect, he wouldn't pinch of make anything off of it. He just doesn't really have anyone and some mail would really cheer him up.
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Jul 26, 2015 04:15
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Hey man, been reading this thread for months now and I'm really glad you're headed in the right direction. When something bad happens, whatever it may be, think back to how well you're doing now and what you're capable of man. Best of luck to you man, I'm pulling for you.
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Jul 26, 2015 05:39
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The Valuum posted:I was thinking of doing some kind of contest for my friend. He doesn't have any family or friends that visit him in prison. I wanted to get something going where people mail him stuff, pictures of dicks, serious pen pal letters, whatever
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Jul 26, 2015 06:26
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I'm down with writing letters.
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Jul 26, 2015 17:26
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Just post the details
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Jul 27, 2015 04:49
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Volmarias posted:Just post the details I'm probably down with sending one, but I'm not sure how to go about it since I live outside of the US. I got the impression earlier in the thread that you needed some special stamps or something.
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Jul 27, 2015 09:49
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Zom Aur posted:This. No, you just put the special stuff under the stamp.
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Jul 27, 2015 15:10
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The Valuum posted:Also the guy who wrote the buck fifty story wants to know if you guys want to hear some other stories? He's got a good story about being extradited from Nevada to Michigan. Speaking of true detective, I sent him "Galveston" which was written by the guy who made True Detective. He said he loved it. Here's an excerpt from his latest email. gently caress yes. Give us stories! The Valuum posted:The girl I'm dating now is doing a good job keeping me clean off dope, I'm trying to shy away from the blogging aspect of this thread, but she's a good one She sounds pretty awesome and you guys look very happy together. I hope things go well for you. Me hoping won't do much so stay clean! You owe it to yourself and to her. She doesn't need to be visiting you through arranged visits. Also if you have a decent place to work there in Michigan, I want to move back there some day.
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Jul 28, 2015 14:28
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It's burgin' time! 
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The Valuum posted:
Just saw this post after catching up. I'm happy to help in any way! I think a contest would be great fun. Is your friend allowed postcards? We had crazy strict mail regulations in jail (no paper over 6x9", we couldn't keep the envelopes, etc), but prison seems a bit more lax. After I got out, I ran a shop at a flea market. Some of the heavy hitters there (the guys who buy whole storage units) would give me boxes of crap they didn't want to deal with to sell in my little stall, and I have a box of postcards from the 70's/80's. If your friend would like drawings or letters on the back of a "come see scenic Bumfuck, West Virginia!" postcard, I got him covered.
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Jul 30, 2015 05:18
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Can you post more stories like the crackhead one and the police raid please? Also the guy with the cut face was good too
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Aug 8, 2015 00:18
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My 50 year old ex-con cousin is full of stories that I'm 99% sure are bullshit. He's 5'6" and claims to have won every fight with everyone. He's covered with white power/nazis home made prison tattoos. He's offered to tattoo others but only if they bring him a cassette player so he can make a home made tattoo gun. What questions can I ask him to see if he's full of poo poo?
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Aug 16, 2015 18:08
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Crayvex posted:My 50 year old ex-con cousin is full of stories that I'm 99% sure are bullshit. He's 5'6" and claims to have won every fight with everyone. He's covered with white power/nazis home made prison tattoos. He's offered to tattoo others but only if they bring him a cassette player so he can make a home made tattoo gun. I have seen tiny dudes crush big ones and was bunked with a Ghost Face gang member (white power). He had nazi, satanic symbolism tattooed across his whole face and body. Pretty nice dude though.
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Aug 16, 2015 23:43
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goodness posted:I have seen tiny dudes crush big ones and was bunked with a Ghost Face gang member (white power). He had nazi, satanic symbolism tattooed across his whole face and body. Pretty nice dude though. Based on my interactions with a guy known as the Swamp Nazi this month (it was a work thing), even a hardcore violent Neo-Nazi can be a pretty amiable guy as long as he's not in a safe space for his attitude and is dealing with white people. Outside of his tattoos (at least 5 visible swastikas an Italian fascist eagle, and a Confederate flag taking up 2/3 of his neck, among others), the only visible indication of his real views was unwillingness to deal with a Latino employee and seeming a bit flustered when we mentioned that Ronnisha would be printing for him. Outside of that, he has a felony for beating a Hispanic man in 2010 and was part of a group arrested a few years ago for planning a race war and an attack on a protest.
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Aug 17, 2015 00:37
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goodness posted:I have seen tiny dudes crush big ones and was bunked with a Ghost Face gang member (white power). He had nazi, satanic symbolism tattooed across his whole face and body. Pretty nice dude though. I got put in a two-man bunk for a couple days with a tiny Latino dude. I'm 6'4" and I wisely (accidentally?) gave him a wide berth and listened to his advice on etiquette. Turned out he was not only connected as gently caress but a violent little brawler who would have handed me my rear end if I'd kept belching after our awful meals. When we got into a real dorm other people were telling stories about this guy. The only one he told me was about him starting a riot in the twin towers of LA. I almost believe it. See also Begby in Trainspotting.
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Aug 17, 2015 00:55
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I have a question for people who have been to prison. I came home last October and I'm still having problems fully adjusting. my girlfriend constantly complains that I don't show my emotions. I won't laugh or smile in front of people and I could be boiling mad and no one would know. e dry time she brings it up I apologize and tell her I'm not even aware that I'm doing it. another thing is crowds. I still tense up and feel very uncomfortable. like something bad may happen. I won't go in her fridge, I make her do it. I simply refuse to touch other people's stuff even if they give me permission a million times. the only time I seem to be really happy is when I'm alone with my dog duke. or if in around my friend of over a decade. he just got out of prison. when we are around each other it's like talking to one of your bros on the yard and not like someone you've known half your life. I feel like prison has left me an angry and incredibly broken person.
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Aug 17, 2015 18:05
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