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Jim replaces Dwight's 2024 office calendar with a 20XX pin-up calendar where every month is a racy pin-up of Mega Man (Rockman in the original Japanese) that Jim downloaded off the Internet without crediting the original artists. Many of the images are taken directly from the preview thumbnails and none of them are the correct aspect ratio for the calendar, but are stretched to fit anyway. The final picture for December is an image of Jim's mugging face stretched into a wide rectangle.
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Apr 2, 2024 15:41
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Hoping that prank Dwight by second hand embarrassment, Jim belts out the entirety of Geto Boys worldwide smash hit "drat It Feels Good To Be A Gangster" but replaces the word gangster with prankster in every verse. Unfortunately this is the only word he substituted. Toby is forced to lead another round of sensitivity training.
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Apr 2, 2024 15:51
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Jim tells Dwight that Spongebob is outside in the parking lot right now. Dwight simply rolls his eyes and says that he's not falling for that one again. "Okay, Dwight," Jim says with a cunning smile, "you asked for it!" Jim then presses the detonator hidden inside his pants pocket, exploding the line of explosives he's placed around the Scranton Memorial Dam. As it crumbles apart, Lake Scranton surges forth and floods downtown. Tom Kenny, actor and voice artist, is doing a signing at a local bookstore when a wall of water obliterates the building, sending him careening through downtown like so much flotsam. He finally finds himself floating in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot, clinging to a shattered piece of wood that used to be a telephone pole. As he passes a window that's half-submerged, he sees a grinning skull looking back at him. Tom Kenny lets out an involuntary scream of horror. "Hey, Dwight! What if I told you Spongebob was outside in the parking lot NOW?!?" Dwight is too busy kicking out the other windows and trying to get everyone else to safety to hear this or to see Jim mugging out the window. A Fancy Hat fucked around with this message at 18:40 on Apr 2, 2024 |
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Apr 2, 2024 18:37
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Jim creates a techno-suit that allows him to walk through mirrors and access what he calls the "MIrrorverse", a strange and unstable world that connects every reflective surface on Earth. Originally intending to pop out of Dwight's bathroom mirror and scare him, Jim ends up getting lost in the endless twists and turns of the Mirrorverse. Due to the strange properties of this world, Jim never ages nor grows hungry or thirsty as he spends centuries looking for Dwight's bathroom mirror. As he pops his head through mirrors, however, an urban legend begins to spread. "Floppy Jimmy", who appears when you say his name 3 times into a mirror, becomes a legendary figure of horror across the world, with people reporting sightings everywhere from Antarctica to Zimbabwe As the years turn to decades and then (eventually) centuries the legend of Floppy Jimmy lives on, despite massive changes in the rest of the world. By the year 12,000 mankind has reached a golden age of harmony with the rest of the world. Cities that clean the atmosphere and turn waste material into food replace the pollution belching garbage pits of today. Dangerous and limited fuel sources are replaced by clean energy generated by true perpetual motion machines. The world is, finally, at true peace. Jim peers out of a mirror and realizes, finally, that he recognizes Dwight's bathroom. In fact, he can see Dwight (nude except for a towel around his waist) sitting by the bathtub. Jim bursts out the mirror, screaming like a lunatic, and waits for Dwight to freak out. But Dwight doesn't yell. He doesn't even move. Jim cautiously approaches and realizes that Dwight isn't Dwight - he's a wax figure. And this isn't even a real bathroom, it's just a replica inside of some kind of museum. Jim takes a cautious step out of the mirror and notices the building is dark all around him - the museum must be closed for the day. He pops out of the mirror and hops down to read the inscription on the diorama. "DWIGHT SCHRUTE IN THE BATHROOM c. 2029 Here we see Dwight stepping out the shower. It was during one of these moments where Dwight first imagined the Perpetual Motion Machine. Dwight was famously fit thanks to a lifetime of working on his farm and eating a mostly beet-based diet." Jim snorts at this, then takes a few more steps. He realizes that the entire room around him is full of wax figures of Dwight in various poses. Dwight at the farm. Dwight running his bed and breakfast. Dwight at the office. Jim scoffs at this one. "Do these guys think Dwight worked next to a loving skeleton or something? They got my physique ALL wrong here. Christ, what a lovely wax museum." Jim topples over the wax figure of himself, a figure that drove its sculptor to screaming madness as he plucked out his own eyeballs while screaming "it's too floppy, nobody could be that floppy". Jim then takes a walk to the final exhibit in the hallway. Dwight is standing in front of a model city and smiling brightly. Jim reads the inscription here. "DWIGHT SCHRUTE UNVEILS UTOPIA MK 1 - 2047 Dwight presents the first model of his new Utopia city to Scranton city officials. Although some are initially skeptical, Dwight's history of charity work has allowed him to build up significant support among the citizens of the city. Construction begins a few months later, eventually leading to the world of peace and prosperity we enjoy today." Jim then silently picks up the smiling Dwight figure and replaces it with the towel-wearing Dwight. As he sets it down, he starts giggling. Jim then activates the techo-suit and hops back through the mirror, never to be seen again.
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Apr 2, 2024 19:13
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Jim - always up to date with the zeitgeist - creates a techno-suit that blasts Darude's Sandstorm all day. Dwight is quickly driven mad and never creates Utopia Mk1. Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 2, 2024 19:33
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Mirrorverse Jim wanders through the endless silvery mist, occasionally bumping into the backside of a mirror and accidently seeing someone taking a dump in their bathroom. This is his life now, perving on strangers on the toilet. Over the years his urge to prank fades. Jim is finally at peace.
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Apr 2, 2024 20:36
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Mirrorverse Jim falls out of Dwight's rearview mirror onto Dwight's lap while Dwight is driving, causing Dwight to swerve and crash. Jim's legs are horribly mangled when he's thrown through Dwight's front windshield and sails 25 yards into the drum of a cement mixer.
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Apr 2, 2024 23:26
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Dwight has trouble sleeping the night before his coloscopy. He is nervous that something is going to happen but he can't quite figure out how Jim would impact this important diagnostic procedure. The Doctor tells him to relax and begins. All is going well until Jim mugs for the camera.
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Apr 3, 2024 03:17
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Dwight looks at his Firebird again through the window. After Meredith had to have reconstructive surgery after planting her minivan in another lightpole and lacking advanced safety bags, Dwight had considered that his seatbelt would not adequately protect him. Dwight stared into the distance for about 10 minutes before he responded to MinJ at the tire shop that he wanted more airbags installed in his car. MinJ reassured Dwight that he would make his car safe for the driver. Dwight paid the $2674 bill and confidently strode toward his mount and strapped himself in and peeled out of the parking lot in a haze of tire smoke and exhaust. About 90 seconds later he collided with a parked utility van which resulted in a choking cloud of prank gas and confetti. Dwight slumped out of the driver's seat, battered but whole and crawled towards the object he collided with. Jimothy's Jello Tart and Prank Drawers mercantile exchange was a wreck of twisted metal and oozing excreta. In a panic Dwight dragged himself back into his car and turned the key in hope of fleeing the scene. The airbag deployment had disabled his ignition and authorities had been alerted. Jim, limping away from the scene of the accident with a useless left leg, mugs at the camera.
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Apr 3, 2024 04:43
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Jim traps Dwight in the Hunger Games.
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Apr 3, 2024 12:06
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Taffy Jr. posted:Jim traps Dwight in the Hunger Games. I should clarify. Jim, a Hunger Games tribute from District 69, sets a trap for Dwight, who is also competing in the Hunger games from the same district (due to a prank whereby Jim replaced all the names in the ladies' bowl with Dwight's name).
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Apr 3, 2024 12:14
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Bruised and exhausted, Dwightniss Everschrute wins the Hunger Games, standing triumphantly over the bodies of his adversaries. Jim strolls by, casually eating a salami and mayonnaise sandwich. “What’s all this?” he says, gesturing toward the carnage. Dwightniss replies caustically, “‘The hell you mean, ‘What’s all this’?! This is all your idea, another one of your drat pranks! You threw the whole The Office into the Hunger Games and now our coworkers are dead by my hand you moron!” Jim, looks around, shrugging. “Hunger Games? No, no, no, I said ‘I’m hungry, James!’ Jeez Dwight, get your ears checked!”
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Apr 3, 2024 13:14
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Jim rushes at Dwight with a chainsaw and hockey mask, erroneously combining The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th franchises into one conglomerate horror movie monster. Dwight, realizing the chainsaw is real and could cut him, topples over backwards in his chair. As he does, he feels something slip off his head and tumble next to him. Suddenly, the world around him has changed. It's a little more gray and, although it's still the Dunder Mifflin office, things look more like they did a decade ago. Dwight looks over and sees that some kind of headset has fallen off of him. He looks up and sees Jim (looking shockingly healthy) grinning down at him. "Dwight! You okay, man? You took a tumble after you put that VR headset on!" Confused, Dwight looks down at himself. He's wearing his favorite mustard yellow shirt, but something seems wrong. He pokes a finger into his stomach. There's a paunch there, one he hasn't had in years. He stands up and feels his knees creak a bit, then steadies himself on his desk. He looks at his computer screen and sees the date in the bottom corner: April 2nd, 2010. The world spins for a moment and Dwight sits down. Jim hops up and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, then hands him a glass of water. "Woah, woah, take it easy, buddy. Do you need an ambulance or something?" Dwight apologizes for the scare, saying that he's just a bit confused. He doesn't remember putting on a VR headset, so Jim offers to explain things. "You came into work today talking about this new VR set you got. 'State of the art for 2010' you said. Then you put it on and said you were going to explore the world of Battlestar Galactica. You pressed a button and 15 seconds later you fell out of your chair. You SURE you're okay? I've heard those VR sets can kind of mess with you if you're not careful." Dwight thanks Jim and says he's okay, but he thinks he's going to go home for the day. He walks into Michael's office. Michael is tossing a koosh ball around and whistling. "Dwight! Hey, man, you don't look good. What's up?" Dwight explains that he just doesn't feel right and asks if he can work from home for the rest of the day. Michael looks at him, oddly, and leans in. "Work from home? Dwight, you're not carrying your computer home with you again, forget about it. Just take the rest of the day off." Feeling even more confused, Dwight leaves the office and walks over to Angela's desk. He tells her he'll see her at home later. "DWIGHT! What in the world are you talking about?" Angela screeches, before lowering her voice to a whisper. "D, are you okay? You just about blurted out our secret to everyone! Go home, I'll see you later." As Dwight leaves the office he sees Roy standing at Pam's desk and talking to her. Roy makes eye contact with Dwight, nods, and then goes right back to talking to Pam. "So anyway, I was thinking we could get my brother's ATV out of storage and go for a ride this weekend. Maybe stop by -" Dwight closes the office door behind him, feeling sick to his stomach, and slowly makes his way downstairs. As he reaches the parking lot, he fumbles for his keys in his pocket. His keychain is all wrong - there's no photo of him and Angela, plus he's missing the keys to the orphanage, the soup kitchen, and even the bio-lab. He feels a headache coming on but drives home anyway, hoping a quick nap might clear things up. Even Schrute farms is different, although not as noticeably so. The solar panels are missing, as is the large wind turbine. As Dwight walks in the door he sees Mose running up to him. Dwight recoils in horror as he sees Mose, a smile on his face and a "FEAR" custom shirt on. Mose lets out a yelp of excitement. "Hey, Dwight!" Mose says as he hugs his cousin tightly. Dwight instinctively pushes him away, then apologizes profusely. It's just... Mose was different, before. Although Dwight is having a hard time remembering how. Dwight says he'll put out a bowl of food for Mose and then take a nap. "Cousin, are you okay? You're acting like I'm a dog or something, putting out a bowl of food? Please. I eat from a trough now." Putting a warm, wet rag on his head, Dwight lays down in bed. Things will make more sense when he wakes up, surely. They have to. He turns on the TV for some background noise. 153 miners are still trapped in China. Dwight remembers this, he also knows that 114 of them will be freed in 2 days. The US Department of Labor announces another month of solid jobs growth since the recession that started in 2008. Officials are hopeful that safeguards will prevent another economic downturn like this any time soon. Jesus, Dwight thinks, they have no loving clue what's coming down the pipeline. Just what the hell is going on? Unable to fall asleep, Dwight lays in bed. He realizes that, somehow, he's travelled back in time more than a decade. Probably one of Jim's pranks, although Dwight's not sure what the punchline is. But he realizes that he has a chance to make things better, thanks to his knowledge of future events. He could prevent major catastrophes, he could stop pandemics before they happen, he could save countless lives. Dwight smiles as he drifts off to sleep; maybe this prank isn't so bad after all. Back in the office, Jim puts down his chainsaw and hockey mask as Dwight slumps in his chair, a VR headset locked onto him. Jim chuckles as he motions for the camera crew to come over. "State of the art, 2024, baby! It's programmed to perfectly simulate the world of 2010, thanks to all the filming that you guys did. One second out here equates to one week in the simulation, so I can't wait to see how freaked out Dwight is when I yank this off his head in a few minutes." Jim mugs for the camera while, inside the simulation, Dwight has led a grassroots campaign to get Universal Healthcare passed in the US Senate.
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Apr 3, 2024 14:17
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Bruised and exhausted, Dwightniss Everschrute wins the Hunger Games, standing triumphantly over the bodies of his adversaries. Jim considers a Battle Royale themed prank but is too lazy to read the novel or even watch a subtitled movie, even though Dwight has previously scoffed at the Hunger Games as being a "Battle Royale wannabe". Jim instead listens to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls during Philip and Cece's school musicals. When Philip asks Jim what he thought of his performance, Jim sheepishly says he really like the part where Philip "slammed his body down and wound it all around". That night, Philip writes in his diary that he can't wait for the blessed day when his father dies of a prank-related injury, freeing the family from his legacy of stupidity.
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Apr 3, 2024 14:24
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jim mugs dwight at gunpoint, for his (dwight's) piss
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Apr 3, 2024 15:00
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Jim assembles knockoff solar eclipse glasses out of cardboard, Saran wrap, and a black sharpie and distributes them around the office.
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Apr 3, 2024 15:07
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Jim traps Dwight in the Hunger Games by chaining shut the doors to the theater and rigging the projector to play the movie on a loop.
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Apr 3, 2024 16:22
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Jim chains shut the door to the men’s room after clogging all of the toilets, forcing Dwight to play The Plunger Games.
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Apr 3, 2024 17:13
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Jim erroneously believes that The Hunger Games is a parody of The Starving Games, a 2013 mostly forgotten parody film, after his diseased mind reasons that "starving is worse than hunger". Jim then dresses as the Fruit Ninja and slices the Annoying Orange in half, much to the bewilderment of Dwight and everyone else in the office. Chuck Norris then bursts through the window (when he gets closer, everyone realizes it's just a really bad impersonator) and roundhouse kicks Dwight. "I'm Chuck Norris!" he adds, for no reason, before walking out the front door. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Apr 3, 2024 17:34
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Jim replaces all of Dwight’s beets with turnips. Unfortunately for Dwight, it’s Sunday meaning he can’t sell the turnips and the mortgage is due. Tom Nook puts two in the back of Dwight’s head execution style and sells the farm to Quillson for pennies on the dollar.
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Apr 3, 2024 17:51
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"hey Dwight hope you had a good lunch!" Jim yells when he sees Dwight leave the break room. Without hesitation Dwight shoves his fingers into the back of his throat and forces himself to vomit. The enamel on his teeth is thin and the delicate membrane burns, but it's better than absorbing more clown poison.
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Apr 3, 2024 18:08
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Chrles Miner doesn't sleep. He waits for Jim's rundown.
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Apr 3, 2024 18:38
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Jim chains shut the door to the restroom after clogging all the toilets. Dwight, who was lured into the restroom with the false promise of Amontillado, cries for help, but nobody hears him. It's the last day of business and Dunder-Mifflin is closing down for good. Jim mugs for the demolition crew and pats the foreman on the shoulder as he strides past the caution tape. "All clear, buddy," says Jim.
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Apr 3, 2024 18:47
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Dwight enjoys a relaxing night of watching the stars through his telescope. As he observes the beautiful sky above, however, he notices a bright light he's never seen before. Consulting his star charts, he discovers that NO ONE has ever found this. Dwight quickly makes a call to the Scranton Observatory and begins the process of cataloguing it. Eventually, after a few weeks of consultation and paperwork, Dwight ends up with a star named after him and HD 191375275 now becomes Schruticus. Billions of miles away, on the hot surface of Schruticus, a suspiciously floppy alien flaps its waste disposal organ in the direction of Earth, knowing instinctively that Dwight is watching. It then mugs for the camera with its sensory organs, although to a human it doesn't appear to be a mug at all, more like some waves of flesh have crashed onto some fleshy rocks.
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Apr 3, 2024 19:15
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Jim teaches himself how to hypnotize people merely by speaking in a comforting tone of voice and moving his hands in a rhythmic fashion. As he attempts to covertly hypnotize Dwight, Kevin keeps giggling and breaking his concentration. Frustrated that his prank keeps stalling out, he asks Kevin what’s so loving funny. “Pffftttt,” Kevin snorts between giggles, “look at your hand. It’s, you know, the thing. The shocker.” Jim looks down at his left hand. Indeed, his hand is currently in that position. Jim starts giggling himself. “Oh man! Don’t I look stupid!” Kevin and Jim both laugh so much that Jim entirely forgets what he was doing in the first place. Dwight is freed from the hypnotic state and returns to work, unaware that anything was happening in the first place. In a talking head segment, Kevin looks oddly serious. “No, I know he was hypnotizing Dwight. I’m not some kind of childlike buffoon, despite what Jim’s clever editing on later seasons of the show might portray. I’m in a long term relationship, I perform in a band, and I’m an accountant for a nationwide paper company. Sure, I may not enjoy the arts quite like Oscar, but I have some culture in my life.”
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Apr 4, 2024 03:21
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Gobjims terrorize Scranton, forcing Dwight to become the Gobjim Slayer.
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Apr 4, 2024 03:44
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Jim tells Dwight that general Norman "Stormin' Norman" Schwarzkopf is outside in the parking lot right now. This prank takes place in 2007, so it's entirely possible (albeit unlikely) for the retired Gulf War general to be outside. Dwight decides it's worth a look and goes to the window. While Dwight is distracted looking out the window, Jim injects Dwight with Gulf War Syndrome.
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Apr 4, 2024 06:15
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Jim buys himself noise-cancelling headphones and replaces all printers in the office with needle printers.
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Apr 4, 2024 17:04
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Jim buys himself nose-cancelling headphones and then microwaves salmon in the office microwave.
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Apr 4, 2024 17:29
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Jim replaces the ink in all of The Office’s printers with Dwight’s pilfered piss, making printing impossible but also providing an answer to an oft-asked question.
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Apr 4, 2024 17:30
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Jim buys himself an army of Noise Marines and cheezes Dwight's Tau army, knocking Dwight out of the tournament in the first round.
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Apr 4, 2024 17:31
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Jim contacts the Goa'uld and offers Dwight as a host
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Apr 4, 2024 17:37
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Dwight's normal psychiatrist, Dr. Frank Michiatrist, is out sick so Dwight has to see another doctor at the practice. He begins detailing his day (it was actually pretty good as Jim was out sick) when the psychiatrist stops him for a second. "Dwight, you keep talking about all of these pranks. Some of them, quite frankly, stretch the limits of believability. I don't see any notes here from your regular doctor, who was it you were seeing again?" Dwight frowns and says it's Dr. Frank Michiatrist, he's been at the practice for 9 years now and Dwight meets with him every other week or so. That's met with a shuffling of papers as Dr. Nottaprank looks through a filing cabinet. "Dwight, I'm sorry, but that's not a name associated with our practice. Dwight, I don't want to alarm you, but are you on any kind of medication?" Sensing a prank brewing, Dwight storms out of the office, loudly saying that "Jim won't get me this time" as he drives away. Dr. Nottaprank feels a cold chill in the air as she sees Dwight drive away.
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Apr 4, 2024 18:06
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Jim does a big poo poo in the microwave then turns the microwave on for an hour.
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Apr 5, 2024 00:12
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Jim taxidermizes Dwight’s entire family in front of him. Jim and Dwight’s dead family vacantly mug the camera with glass eyes.
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Apr 5, 2024 00:14
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Dwight walks in on Jim "strangling the clown" in the men's room.
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Apr 5, 2024 01:10
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Taffy Jr. posted:Dwight walks in on Jim "strangling the clown" in the men's room. Jim calls the police and indicates that Dwight's dislike of autoerotic clowns is a hate crime. Dwight ends up in the federal pen. Jim comes to visiting time, finds the surveillance in the room and mugs for the camera.
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Apr 5, 2024 02:40
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This coming has nothing to do with the promised Prankening when, of course, He is meant to descend in clouds of balloons and silly string, accompanied by a chorus of whoopee cushions, unstuff every stuffed shirt, and open every heart to mirth. No, for this visit He comes unannounced before the entire population of Scranton, in much the same form as He appeared some 20 years ago. Though he comes silently, all of the city seems to recognize Him, and He is soon pressed into the center of a throng of citizens. The multitude sense the pranks in His heart. Children throw rolls of toilet paper over the trees before Him, and flaming bags of dog poop are strewn in front of Him. To an old man He gestures and the man’s cane is kicked out from under him, and the gentleman eats poo poo on the pavement, to the laughter of all. A woman is weeping and begs to be pranked. He pauses before her and wordlessly points down at her shirt, conveying with his meek countenance alone that she has already been pranked. When she looks down, the finger He was using to point at her flicks her sharply on the nose. The procession moves on to tears of laughter. In front of the office, the mob is greeted by the Assistant to the Regional Manager, a spectacled man of wan complexion and jutting forehead, stern of countenance and clad in a modest yellow dress shirt and khakis. He has seen all of the antics of the procession, and his brow furrows. Such is his presence that the crowd gives way and he is soon in front of the stranger, clapping Him on the shoulder and taking Him to the office. Night falls over Scranton, and the lighting bugs pulse in the evening air that is sweetened with the scent of dogwoods and magnolias. The Assistant to the Regional Manager keeps watch over his charge. “Is it Thou? It must be. But be silent! What couldst Thou say? Besides, Thou hast no right to add even one more prank to the japes Thou hast committed before. Surely Thou must know that tomorrow I shall have Thee taken to the front of the office and fired for incompetence.” The stranger merely looks on with an expression of gentle merriment. “When Thou left the office some score of years ago to do some sports marketing thing, it was as a perfect prank, and Thou hast left to us, quite rightly, the task of completing Thy labor. And how steadily we have labored! We have worked to the pranking of every worker in this office. To return is to undermine the perfection of the prank of leaving.” The Assistant to the Regional Manager’s eyes darken. “If one should, at the same appointed time each day, prank a co-worker, would it not cease to be wondrous, cease to be a prank? It would take on the nature of an obligation or an appointment. No worker’s heart would be stirred by such a thing. But to promise a prank and then take a leave of absence, so that each day men would wake with terror in their hearts that today is the day they will be pranked, that is to truly prank an office. Thou hast no right to return as Thou didst, to interfere with our work! We have struggled against our own natures and against the perverse nature of work to accomplish our labors. No man is born truly pranked. They must be guided by us, shaped by the expectation of normality each and every day, so that the pranks, when they come, have the intended effect. We have toiled, put aside the temptation of mirth and laughter, endured all manner of hardship and humiliation, to correct Thy mistake and prank not just one or two, but all mankind. And this is why, tomorrow, I shall take Thee out to the conference room and fire Thee. And I tell Thee, even Thy coworkers will joyously add to the HR paper trail!” The Assistant to the Regional Manager looks at the stranger, who has said nothing. The silence weighs on him. His heart wishes for some response, for he sees that the stranger has been following his words with attention, His eyes still sparkling with roguish joy. Suddenly He rises, approaches His captor, and delivers him a swift kick in the balls. That is all the answer. The Assistant to the Regional Manager shudders, opens the door to the office. “Go,” he says. “Go, and return no more. Do not come again… never, never!” The prisoner vanishes into the Scranton dark.
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Apr 5, 2024 14:39
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Jim brings a giant vacuum cleaner into the office, its bag practically bursting full of dirt. He prepares to flick a switch labelled "REVERSE" when there's a knock on the front door of the office. "No," Jim says with a shaky voice, "no, it can't be. He hasn't been here in months. I built this giant vacuum and spent all night vacuuming up the dustiest floors in Scranton." Another knock, louder this time. More forceful. In his mind's eye, Jim sees Charles Miner standing there. Hell, he can practically smell his cologne. "It's not fair. It's never fair. Don't you people see that?" Jim uselessly flails his arms around, tears welling in his eyes. "No matter what I do, no matter how many pranks I pull, he's there. What did I ever do to deserve this life? Look at me, for God's sake somebody look at me and tell me what I did wrong!" Another knock and now Jim knows for sure it's Charles Miner. The rundown is, of course, uncompleted. It will never be completed, Jim knows this. It's his stone to push up the mountain, it's his punishment. Jim realizes that now, the pranks are a part of it, too. Sure, they're fun, but at what cost? Tears are welling in his eyes now as the gravity of the situation hits him. "I don't want to live like this any more, I CAN'T live like this any more. Days, weeks, months of pranks followed by Charles Miner showing up and embarrassing me. Again and again, forever and ever. How long have I been doing this? Jesus, it's loving HOT in this office, why is it so hot? Why can't we turn on some loving air in this place? Goddammit, I didn't even think Charles worked here any more. What year is it? Can somebody please tell me what year it is?" Jim rushes over to the window as the rest of the office sits in stunned silence, eyes watching him. There's another knock at the door and, this time, the doorknob begins to turn. "I can't take it, God forgive me, I can't take it any more." With that, Jim leaps out of the window. As he hits the pavement below, the front door opens. It's a pizza delivery man. "Hey, uh, I have an order here for 6 large pizzas. Is there a Michael that can sign for it?" "Oh! That's me!" Michael says with a smile as he hops out of his office. "You guys have been working so hard lately, figured I'd treat you to some 'za." "Wait, Michael," Kevin says with real concern in his voice. "There's something really important we need to talk about. This pizza - is it Pizza by Alfredo or Alfredo's Pizza Kitchen?"
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Apr 5, 2024 15:44
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Jim summons up demons of the earth to trip Dwight and cause him to stumble. Jim calls down demons of the air to make fart sounds when Dwight sits down. Jim conjures demons of water to steal Dwight's piss. And finally, Jim evokes demons of fire... demons of fire... to burn Dwight's anus!
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Apr 5, 2024 17:32
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