Zamujasa posted:

the desert lot should be called 'elon musk's locker'; a deserted, barren place full of broken vessels that sunk the namesake

BrainDance posted:

They're probably explosive when they show up dead too.

I'm not ordering live animals, for the record. Friend tried to buy a squirrel and they kept shipping boxes of squirrels to him. Told him to always just take a video of opening it because if he could prove it was dead on arrival they'd ship out another for free. It took so many tries before he got a live one, and the unboxings were nasty. They ship it with a little thing of food and that's basically it.

When he finally got a live one it suicided out his window

Jedit posted:

Owning Trig has been a thing for a while now. Somewhere, he wipes a tear from his eye and sniffles, thinking "How quickly they grow up".

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

"The archaeologists carefully pried open the sarcophagus, only managing to lift the lid 5cm before the horrific stench forced them to close it again according to Egyptian news outlet El-Watan.

Egyptian military engineers later helped them to open the sarcophagus completely - and the experts found more than expected.

Inside were the putrified remains of three people, sat in filthy red sewage water. "

This reminds me of something that happened to me. Sorry for off topic.
I had been at the new not yet open location of a restaurant I managed in Baltimore, with a co worker, helping with getting it ready to open.
Behind the restaurant was a short alley that when the previous occupant was in the building 5 years before, had connected to the street on one side. In that 5 years another building was built, effectively disconnecting the alley from the main roads and making it into a completely closed off courtyard, aside from a chain link door so that you could get out in a fire.

There had been a huge dumpster in that alley, used by the restaurant before us, but since they closed and the new building went up had never been emptied, and was also completely full of water and trash. We wanted to put seating in the courtyard and knew we had to get rid of that dumpster eventually. So I figured I'd drain it and then cut it up into moveable pieces. We recruited the help of the college dudes that lived on the second floor and from their balcony. Somehow like 8 of us managed to push this thing over to get the "water" out.

What happened next is very hard to describe with language. The second we got the thing tipped past the point of no return and it dropped hard there was a smell that was just impossibly bad. I can only describe it as not just smelling bad but painful like eating a way too spicy hot sauce you weren't expecting to be so hot. The city official who would go on to be in charge of the week long cleanup effort, described it as worse than the body he found rotting in an RV all summer while he was a police officer. Every single person involved in the tipping of the dumpster was instantly projectile vomiting, along with the construction workers immediately inside the restaurant working on the wiring. We had to tear out and replace drywall because there was a pool of vomit in the wall behind it. Across the little courtyard was a hisptery tech startup with a big glass window looking into their open floor-plan office. We noticed people in the building running away and covering their noses within seconds.

After running back into the second floor apartment with everyone and regaining my composure despite it still smelling really bad, we started to hear quite a few approaching sirens. We went out front onto the street. This was in the middle of a main business district and everyone walking by was complaining about the smell so I started walking around and it was basically everywhere on the whole block people were gagging and covering their noses, some old lady fainted from the smell. In the bars on one side of the courtyard literally every table was abandoned with food and beer on it. The firefighters and poo poo were circling the block trying to figure out wtf so we flagged them down and explained everything, so they follow us back and the group vomiting commences again, this time with firefighters. The whole block or so was evacuated as a precaution for an hour.

Everyone retreats outside, firefighters are like gently caress this poo poo. They call in this vacuum truck and like 5 guys with pressure washers for ever single surface this poo poo touched. This was a Monday, and by Friday the smell was basically gone, after constant pressure washing.

I stuck around while they were vacuuming and saw:
3 raccoon skulls
1 cat skull
30+ or so rat skulls couldn't really tell because they were dissolving
assorted bones obviously
Multiple bags of 5 year old food trash
1 partially decomposed pigeon
A poo poo ton of needles
Way too many condoms and bottles of Zelko Vodka

But the big one was since the place before us made pizza I think basically their last day I think they threw out all the dough and yeast on hand.
Before all the water the dough and yeast had basically congealed into a foot high layer on the bottom. This would explain why my early attempts to drill holes in it to drain it did nothing. I just figured it was wider on the bottom and my bits weren't long enough. The yeast still being active when the thing filled with water started fermenting the sugars in the trash which I suspect drew in animals who then got drunk and fell in, the sugars in which also fermented.

So basically the restaurant that closed down brewed rotting trash and meat beer and left it out for 5 years.

We never even got in trouble, the riots started a week later and the city was just like meh, you're fine.

Samuringa posted:

What happened to the good old days when mothers would do their own birthing process with a combat knife

Karate Bastard posted:

One person enters, two persons leave.

ulex minor posted:

*shows a story about spiders infesting a beehive hairdo* a cautionary warning or just...

...a web of lies?

*nest segment about a man who was married to a woman for 40 years and could never get her to undress in front of him, after her death the coroner gasps when he discovers she was born with a donkey tail* it's up to you dear viewer, is this story fact, or merely...

...an old wives tale?

*finishes with a story about a series of people run over while landscaping by a lawnmower that used to be owned by a deranged serial killer* now is this true, or have we been leading you...

...up the garden path?

QUACKTASTIC posted:

We Know Catheters posted:

Mutual masturbation

President Beep posted:

charging up their I/O crystals

Baron von Eevl posted:

BB:FoF is on Prime and it's all so good. The first season is a little rocky and you have James Brolin instead of Frakes (and it's really clear they shot all of his segments in an afternoon), but even he had his charm. Whereas Frakes delivers puns with an impish smile, Brolin blurts the final reveals out in a Steve Brule-esque manner. "Did you think this could possible be true? Guess what, it is you dingus. Fact!"

Blind Rasputin posted:

The mentos and coke interaction is not simply an acid base interaction, it is actually a subtle and highly complex organic reaction that we learn about in graduate organic chemistry as almost a prelude to understanding higher order electron spin state geometries. If you notice on all bottles of coke/Diet Coke there is a warning that they contain phenylketones. This warning has been a part of the label for several decades, every since an industrial accident in the 1930s, nearly thirty years after the beverages’ invention. To put it simply, Phenylketones and the organic proteins in mentos combine to create a complex and unstable electron-proton spin duplex throughout the fluid, propagated by the carbonation, that when they finally breakdown release massive amounts of energy. You can imagine then, if one bottle and a few mentos can cause such an explosion, how an industrial disaster could lead to inclusion of a small warning on all bottles for what’s now almost 100 years later.

Gumby posted:

This was a lot of work to just post an acrostic that spells "titty."

Karate Bastard posted:

We're all just feeding him ammo for the great cataclysmic mega-own that I'm sure he's bound to drop any time now. It may well be the one prophesied by the 8-bit scholar. I pity the poor fool that will stand before it cause I'm pretty sure we're talking ultimate hustler levels of pwnage here.

Noblesse Obliged posted:

They'll use the big white tent for the Musk/Grimes wedding reception since it's used to disapointment being assembled there

MisterOblivious posted:

Have you seen his music video? I'm not sure it's a "cataclysmic mega-own" but it's pretty great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDhTbRTZuWg

rodbeard posted:

Well I didn't hate him until I listened to that.

twistedmentat posted:

I have that, i got it at a used store and its in terrible shape, but yes...a lot of boobs. Though they're usually connected to lobster women or something.

rodbeard posted:

Well I didn't hate him until I listened to that.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Guess which subforum

buglord posted:

where's that one D&D thread about abortion rights or whatever, but some dude posts his workout log multiple times until he figures out what he did

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Wow. You are gonna be so embarrassed. Turns out he is in here too.

Garrand posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3543702&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=5#post414408653

Collateral Damage posted:

I'd say my favorite is the guy who posted his balls in half a dozen subforums.

Trig Discipline posted:

Ten days and counting every second!

And there's a good chance we'll be in the same place more permanently something like 6-10 months from now. Nothing definite, but some promising options.

Karate Bastard posted:

Are y'all still in research? Kind of a poo poo field for a family man it would seem.

Karate Bastard posted:

Are y'all still in research? Kind of a poo poo field for a family man it would seem.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

How else will he develop new and outrageous ways to own people if he doesn't test his hypothesizes on goons?

Especially when his own mother provides such a high-scoring statistical sampleset for proving and disproving how sexually promiscuous other goons mothers are.

Trig Discipline posted:

Honestly I've just been putting too much of my brain into work and art projects to post much these days. I've just been so busy, and as a result me and all of your mothers have been growing apart lately. We'll see how long this hard-working productive lasts though; my previous record is on the order of six months.

Sagebrush posted:

you sound like a fat loser

BeanpolePeckerwood posted:

educate the masses

Dapper_Swindler posted:

she looks so lost its funny. also its probably like landmarks and poo poo and thats cool.

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Still, it was in pretty poor taste to put all those skeleton mobs in Buchenwald

Pick posted:

Seriously though, it was a woman I know who tried to make S'mores by putting the component parts on a paper plate which she held directly over an open flame. The fire burned the plate and the graham cracker and chocolate and whatever fell into the fire. Then she repeated this action, as if the fire burning the paper plate had been some kind of unexpected, once-in-a-lifetime outcome.