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I started getting a little bit of anxiety about not having a crib around 24-26 weeks, got one, felt better and then didn't actually assemble it until closer to 36 weeks
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Feb 16, 2023 11:54
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Doll House Ghost posted:How does that work with breastfeeding? Yeah, I guess I forgot about that although it only happened 4-5 times. we would get a call from the nursing station to try and my wife would go down to try, (which... well she never did it when we got home and were bottles for everything) I only went once because the nurses didn't want me there.
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Feb 16, 2023 12:36
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We had just about everything on hand (but not assembled), and at the beginning of week 36 we decided to use the following weekend to get everything in order: assemble furniture, set up the baby's room, pack the go bag for the hospital. It was a 3-day weekend thanks to the 4th of July; it was the perfect time! So obviously, we were in the hospital that Saturday evening with none of that done, and the baby was delivered July 4th 
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Feb 16, 2023 21:41
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Last time I got to do the short glucose screening, negative, but this time I got chucked straight onto the long one. Mad headache, achey arm, so glad my vampire doctor is nearly out of tests to put me through and I can .... *checks notes* give birth.
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Feb 28, 2023 01:30
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Ugh, I'm getting chucked straight into the long one this time around too. My A1C at my initial appointment was .1 above the cutoff. Hope your values are all OK!
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Feb 28, 2023 02:10
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I am confirmed dibeetus free! But I have to redo the UTI screen cos that was elevated... And also didn't mention the GBS test results so I might still be a terrible poster. Mind you, the only problem I had with GBS+ last time was that they needed 3 attempts to get the antibiotic cannula in my hand so I was bruised up real bad. The exciting world of pregnancy pathology!
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Mar 1, 2023 04:49
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I made a drat baby! I was convinced we'd go at least a week overdue because I had basically no labour indicators and baby was still hanging fairly high. I was also pretty sure that my labour would be long, mainly because they have been in my family I guess? Well, I was wrong on both accounts lol. Woke up at 39+6 with my waters started dribbling. Hanged out at the hospital for 10 hours (positive GBS) with maybe five contractions coming during the whole time. Had my waters broken again manually and then things escalated pretty hardcore and I went from 0 to 10cm in 4-5 hours. The midwife at induction ward was taken quite by surprise lol. Baby made his grand entrance around an hour after that. Those were some intense hours, enough that the idea of asking for pain medication sort of flew over my head so I mainly used TENS machine and squeezed a comb in my hand. At some point I croaked at the attending midwife that I might go crazy with the pain so I got a shot of oxy. They rushed to put an epidural at the last possible minute and half of it didn't take, so I felt everything with my right buttcheek and thigh. That was kinda fine? Helped me to push at least. Baby's heartbeats started getting weaker so het got assisted out with a plunger and I got an episotomy with extra tearing. Baby is solid 10/10 and I can walk without a waddle again, so worth it. Doll House Ghost fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Mar 3, 2023 |
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Mar 3, 2023 20:37
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Congrats on meeting your tiny person 
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Mar 4, 2023 03:26
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Congrats! We now have a two week old and are learning more every day. From the start of contractions my wife was in labor for 24+ hours, about 14 of that from arrival at the hospital to delivery. After pushing for a while and trying pitocin, we ended up getting a c-section due to failure to progress, and baby's heart rate was starting to drop during pushing and because of the meds. Everybody at the hospital was helpful, and mom and baby are healthy, so there's not much more we could have asked for even though we weren't planning on a c-section. If anybody is looking for books to read during pregnancy, my wife enjoyed The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill.
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Mar 5, 2023 00:51
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Seconding the appreciation chat from earlier regarding the advice and experience posted here, the conflicting info from health professionals is frustratingboquiabierta posted:Best of luck to you. I hope she is able to breastfeed if that's what she wants to do, and gets nothing but support if it doesn't work and she goes to formula. The only thing that matters is that the kid gets fed. That point gets so lost in the ridiculous "breast is best" dogma. The only vaguely sciencey sounding thing that stuck with me is that supposedly the baby gets its immune system trained/boosted by breast milk. I don't have a medical background and can't tell if this is true. Is there anything we should keep in mind or do if the mom wants to go full formula after birth to make the baby's immune system keep up? Do we need to take it outside and roll it around in the dirt for a bit?
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Mar 7, 2023 09:50
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Somaen posted:Seconding the appreciation chat from earlier regarding the advice and experience posted here, the conflicting info from health professionals is frustrating Fed baby is best baby. Breast or formula are both fine. A mix is fine. Wherever makes the baby sleep, grow, pee and poop... Their immune system will get plenty of exercise, especially if they're going to daycare or spend time with other kids. Outside time is great for a thousand reasons but I don't think there's any specific thing to do that'll make the baby immune to stuff other than exposure. Varied foods, exposure to pets, people, and the great outdoors are supposed to help. Don't disinfect everything in your house, I guess?
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Mar 7, 2023 12:42
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It looks like the antibodies from breast milk coat the inside of the intestinal tract https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12850343/ The antibodies don't go into the blood of the infant and provide immunity in the traditional sense. I guess if you want formula and also want intestinal immunity you can sign up with a local breast milk bank and give it to them a couple times a week The more I read about the benefits of breast milk the less convincing their arguments are
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Mar 7, 2023 14:41
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Yeah, imo the real benefit to breastfeeding, if it's going smoothly and you're the birthing parent, is if you're out and about, baby gets hungry, and you're comfortable with it, you can whip out a boob. That's a lot of caveats though, and it's not like you can't just carry formula and water in a bottle.
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Mar 8, 2023 00:45
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Breast feeding is convenient if it works well for mom and baby, because it can turn into an instant off switch for your baby no matter where you are! Crying? Have the boob! Sleepy but fighting it? Boob! But like it’s not some kind of miracle must-do. Plenty of babies have off switches that aren’t a boob.
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Mar 8, 2023 04:48
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Thank you everyone, happy to learn all this! We're kind of pioneers among our peers in getting our tiny clone so a lot of the wisdom from the surroundings we get is, uh, questionable ("if you don't do X your kid will have autism") and that includes medics ("but formula isn't natural"). *Scribbles down* daycare, dogs, dirt..
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Mar 8, 2023 10:12
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Emily Spinach posted:Yeah, imo the real benefit to breastfeeding, if it's going smoothly and you're the birthing parent, is if you're out and about, baby gets hungry, and you're comfortable with it, you can whip out a boob. That's a lot of caveats though, and it's not like you can't just carry formula and water in a bottle. The other biggie for my wife was at night. Baby wakes up, mom rolls over and snags them from the bassinet and pops the boob in. No getting up and warming formula or anything. It's also very handy to have the food source travel with you. Just a burp cloth and a cover-up, and baby is happy while you're out and about. Somaen posted:Thank you everyone, happy to learn all this! We're kind of pioneers among our peers in getting our tiny clone so a lot of the wisdom from the surroundings we get is, uh, questionable ("if you don't do X your kid will have autism") and that includes medics ("but formula isn't natural"). advice is like assholes
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Mar 8, 2023 14:37
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duck trucker posted:In a perfect world it would have been but it took numerous doctor visits insisting on it, and I believe for insurance it was listed as necessary due to "anxiety". Our son was almost 7 lbs and my wife is very tiny, so if we had waited until her contractions began they more than likely would have had to do one anyway due to his size. our daughter was a week overdue and came out 8lbs 4oz. i have a very petite build, my partner is a huge giant man. she got stuck in the birth canal for 4 hours. i learned my lesson for next time
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Mar 20, 2023 22:24
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My wife and I just had our first a few days ago. We had planned on using a birthing center but at 37 weeks and 3 days, she registered a high blood pressure two days in a row. That immediately DQ’d us from using the birth center and we had to go up to the hospital to get induced. We get there, and within an hour or two they tell us that they can’t handle the high BP situation, so we get transferred again down to the bigger hospital in Springfield, MA. Since she was on magnesium for high BP, the pitocin they were giving her didn’t really take and she never dilated past 3cm even with her water being manually broken. We had to go with a c-section. We got transferred to a new room in the “high risk” area, then the next day transferred *again* to another room, and we’re just waiting for my wife’s BP to come down so we can finally go home. It’s been kind of a nightmare with a giant parade of people coming in and out of the room preventing us from getting any sleep, and that situation is keeping my wife’s BP high in and of itself. I can’t wait to get the hell out of here - it’s been almost five days now.
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Mar 23, 2023 00:53
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Necronomicon posted:My wife and I just had our first a few days ago. We had planned on using a birthing center but at 37 weeks and 3 days, she registered a high blood pressure two days in a row. That immediately DQ’d us from using the birth center and we had to go up to the hospital to get induced. We get there, and within an hour or two they tell us that they can’t handle the high BP situation, so we get transferred again down to the bigger hospital in Springfield, MA. Since she was on magnesium for high BP, the pitocin they were giving her didn’t really take and she never dilated past 3cm even with her water being manually broken. We had to go with a c-section. We got transferred to a new room in the “high risk” area, then the next day transferred *again* to another room, and we’re just waiting for my wife’s BP to come down so we can finally go home. It’s been kind of a nightmare with a giant parade of people coming in and out of the room preventing us from getting any sleep, and that situation is keeping my wife’s BP high in and of itself. I can’t wait to get the hell out of here - it’s been almost five days now. You can tell them to not disturb you except for required medications. We had a loving IT tech wake us up at 0400 to replace a keyboard our first night at Brigham.
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Mar 23, 2023 01:31
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Necronomicon posted:My wife and I just had our first a few days ago. We had planned on using a birthing center but at 37 weeks and 3 days, she registered a high blood pressure two days in a row. That immediately DQ’d us from using the birth center and we had to go up to the hospital to get induced. We get there, and within an hour or two they tell us that they can’t handle the high BP situation, so we get transferred again down to the bigger hospital in Springfield, MA. Since she was on magnesium for high BP, the pitocin they were giving her didn’t really take and she never dilated past 3cm even with her water being manually broken. We had to go with a c-section. We got transferred to a new room in the “high risk” area, then the next day transferred *again* to another room, and we’re just waiting for my wife’s BP to come down so we can finally go home. It’s been kind of a nightmare with a giant parade of people coming in and out of the room preventing us from getting any sleep, and that situation is keeping my wife’s BP high in and of itself. I can’t wait to get the hell out of here - it’s been almost five days now. My wife had a similar experience, HELLP at 37 weeks and a C-section. The Magnesium is brutal and it took my wife a few days to get back to her normal self after they took her off of it. Seconding that you can tell them to not disturb you except for medications at night. Is your baby in the room with you or did they need the NICU?
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Mar 24, 2023 16:00
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We brought the little guy home yesterday after six days in the hospital. My wife has had some initial trouble with her milk coming in but our doula had some other clients who were willing to donate some extra milk so we were able to feed him just fine between that and the little formula samples the hospital gave us. She’s really intent on breastfeeding but the donor milk had the side benefit of allowing her to sleep through most of last night while I fed the kid. Edit: He was with us in the room the entire time except for a two hour stretch where I drove home to walk the dogs and the nurses took him so my wife could get some sleep. And that same day they finally got the picture and put up a do not disturb sign on the door, which helped. Necronomicon fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Mar 24, 2023 |
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Mar 24, 2023 16:10
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Fed is best! Congrats and glad you were able to come home eventually. Having to stay in the hospital longer than expected suuucks and so do the constant interruptions. Hope you're both getting some sleep and breastfeeding is going well.
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Mar 24, 2023 18:02
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Induction for our 2nd kid is scheduled for this Tuesday. My wife is very ready to be done with being pregnant, and less ready to be dealing with the nurses that are going to try and pressure her to breast feed despite the fact it just didn't work with our first kid.
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Mar 24, 2023 18:28
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As a former postpartum nurse who was very much trained to pressure to breastfeed, it was much easier to back off when patients were clear about not wanting to breastfeed at all. If she is upfront that she's not interested, I don't think she'll get much pushback. The patients who have the hardest time with the pressure, IMO, are the ones who want to breastfeed but are having trouble/it's not going well for whatever reason. Hope everything goes smoothly and she gets nothing but support.
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Mar 24, 2023 19:38
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I'm worried about that for my wife because she wants to try again. I don't know why, since we had 0 luck getting any milk to come in for the first baby and I don't know why it would be any different with the second. If that's what she wants to do though I am not going to stop her.
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Mar 24, 2023 20:09
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You never know, each pregnancy is different and the body is strange. Hope it works out for her and that the lactation support she gets is good.
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Mar 24, 2023 22:08
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Not to get too E/N in here (and I can post this somewhere else), but I'm wondering if anybody else who had experiences of childhood trauma found it a little overwhelming to suddenly be in charge of a new outer child when your own inner child is still in pretty rough shape? I'm obviously still in survival mode at the moment since the little guy is only like six days old so far, but he looks *just like me* when I was an infant and it's really throwing me for a loop. FWIW I'm in therapy for the childhood trauma stuff and have been for a while and I'm not like, freaking out or desperate or anything. Just curious if anybody else has had a similar experience.
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Mar 25, 2023 16:16
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Yep, having a kid when you had childhood trauma is a great way to trigger said trauma. Reparenting is a big deal and requires a ton of emotional energy regardless of how much trauma you actively recall. Expect to be triggered by every action your child takes that you were punished for. I also hear that you get to unearth a bunch of sibling trauma (if you've got it) when you have a second one. I'll find out this summer when we have our second! The Your Parenting Mojo podcast has been a great resource for me for dealing with this, by the way.
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Mar 27, 2023 02:58
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Stick with the therapy and keep slowly chipping away at it. It's tough, but with the right help and enough time, you'll get there. Understanding that you have a problem and being able to recognize it is a huge step, one that many people don't ever achieve. My mom died when my son was 9 months old, and it took a year to really come to grips with that and the damage that my father did when I was growing up. I'm working through it, though. One day at a time, one day at a time. \/\/ It gets easier, eventually. The problems will be different, but they aren't so drastic if you're lucky. Until they get a lot older, then the problems can be pretty crazy, or so I hear. Family (if they're actually loving useful and listen and do the things that you need them to do) can be great. (or not) sharkytm fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Mar 28, 2023 |
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Mar 27, 2023 13:19
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sharkytm posted:One day at a time, one day at a time. More like two hours at a time, at least until the little guy starts to put on more weight. Before this I had no idea babies ate so often! I'm sure the lack of sleep (and my wife's recovery from the c-section) is making this feel a little more pronounced. Luckily we have (safe) family coming to help out soon, and a few postpartum doula visits lined up this week to help us get the house in order / take naps. take me to the beaver posted:The Your Parenting Mojo podcast has been a great resource for me for dealing with this, by the way. I'll check this out, thanks!
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Mar 27, 2023 20:44
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My wife is pregnant (18 weeks) and is feeling overwhelmed & understandably a little scared about the process. She likes to have a plan for everything and feels like there are so many unknowns. I am trying to help her through but this is our first and I don't know anything about being pregnant & giving birth either. Are there any good resources for dads? Also, what is a doula or a midwife. Are they normally recommended by Drs? And if not then why? What do they do for you? My wife is considering one because shes feels like the 2 doctors we've seen are rushing her through the appointment and she wants a little more support. She is generally less trusting of medicine than I am and although I know doctors are not always right I'm more skeptical of anything "alternative". I want to make sure she feels secure and confident but I just don't know enough to make an informed decision.
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Mar 28, 2023 14:02
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A doula is a support person to have with you during labor. They do not replace an OBGYN or nursing staff. For midwives, if she wants to go that route instead of a doctor, make sure you look for a certified nurse midwife as they actually have training that's appropriate and accredited by a reputable accrediting agency. Certified professional midwives could be any Joe Blow off the street and do not replace an OBGYN. (Assuming you are in the US anyway. Other countries have different rules and standards around midwives so YMMV there).
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Mar 28, 2023 14:10
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Thank you. A doula seems like it could be a good fit for the support she needs. We were referred to our doctor by a good friend of my wife's who is an OBGYN, so we're confident in her recommendation but I think the first time pregnancy thing is daunting.
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Mar 28, 2023 14:29
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I had a doula and loved it!
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Mar 28, 2023 14:30
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Doulas are great. Everyone should have one. They are associated with better pregnancy/delivery outcomes. Even if you don't feel like you need one for the emotional piece, it's good to have someone to advocate for you who isn't your loved one.
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Mar 28, 2023 15:41
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I went with a midwife and definitely recommend. There was a network of them affiliated with the hospital so it was all legit. It didn’t seem much different than going to a dr. but I knew I would always get a woman seeing me (something that was important to me) and they seemed a bit more chill and I got to stick the qtip up my own butt for the gbs test.
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Mar 28, 2023 16:50
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remigious posted:Pregnancy Megathread II: I got to stick the qtip up my own butt for the gbs test.
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Mar 28, 2023 17:34
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remigious posted:I went with a midwife and definitely recommend. There was a network of them affiliated with the hospital so it was all legit. It didn’t seem much different than going to a dr. but I knew I would always get a woman seeing me (something that was important to me) and they seemed a bit more chill and I got to stick the qtip up my own butt for the gbs test. It's nice you said this because the biggest reason my wife is anxious is because she doesn't want to see male doctors. I think we're getting one for an ultrasound and although it's not an OBGYN appointment I can totally understand why she'd be weirded out. And LOL I had no idea there was going to be any butt stuff.
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Mar 28, 2023 17:46
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remigious posted:I went with a midwife and definitely recommend. There was a network of them affiliated with the hospital so it was all legit. It didn’t seem much different than going to a dr. but I knew I would always get a woman seeing me (something that was important to me) and they seemed a bit more chill and I got to stick the qtip up my own butt for the gbs test. Same, except for the swabbing my own butt thing and I personally don't care that much about always being seen by a woman. Honestly with how late they do that test, I don't know how well I would have done. I'm sure it's not as bad as a covid test but it seems like it would require a bit more dexterity than wiping does.
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Mar 28, 2023 18:00
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I liked having a doula because I could text her stupid non-critical-things like ‘do you think I’m in labor’ and ‘what can I do to get this baby off my spine’ and she would text back sane things that come from experience of seeing a ton of pregnant women but also know when to defer to an actual medical professional. I had two weeks of pretty intense false labor with my son, so sometimes it was nice to have someone tell me that poo poo was normal, outside of my OB’s reassurances that everyone was healthy.
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Mar 28, 2023 20:00
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