purple death ray posted:

Das Bus and Principal and the Pauper both have exactly one funny joke, which are Otto yelling "Zeppelin rules!" as he's being sucked underwater, and "Can I borrow your copy of Swank, Armin?"

frankenfreak posted:

Das Bus has the epilogue of "Eventually they were rescued by, uh... let's say Moe."

Principal and the Pauper gains a bit in the German sub because it's not just "torture" Judge Snyder threatens, but "torture to the blood".

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

Crow Jane posted:

It didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped (shoulda made his legs the middle two fingers and used the whole hand to represent his girth), so I'm not gonna make it dance, but let it be known I spent the last ten minutes making a Chris Christie hand puppet:

It could be the lighting or maybe you erased/smeared a bunch of ink before you finished that version, but it looks like you might have mild peripheral cyanosis. If you are on hormonal BC pills, taking anything with pseudoephedrine daily, or if you or anyone in your family has ever had a history of low blood pressure or circulatory issues, then I would definitely ask a doctor next time you're there.

Also, if you ever wear tight jewelry or anything that is very constricting to your wrists or upper arms, then you should try to not wear them until you confer with a doctor. Especially if you are very thin or tall.

It's not a major issue, but it can be indicative of something that is serious if you go untreated for a while.

frankenfreak posted:

Das Bus has the epilogue of "Eventually they were rescued by, uh... let's say Moe."

Ah Pook posted:

"cums for the poor, sir, cums for the poor" whimpered the orphan, holding out her empty sock. Ebenezer Spooge reached into his pocket, and felt it full of warm semen. he smiled at the young girl, and held out a handful of the glistening baby batter for her to see. "would you like some, little lamb?" he asked. her eyes twinkled, and she nodded so vigorously her whole body bounced. Ebenezer quickly pulled his hand back to his face, and greedily lapped up the sticky glob. "then you shall have to earn it," he sneered, "just as i did." as he walked away, her quiet sobs were just as satisfying as the sensation of thick, bleachy jizz coating his mouth and throat

rodbeard posted:

I think "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's" has got to be my favorite huge slam out of nowhere.

morallyobjected posted:

I still use it to this day when I'm hungry, sometimes.

but I never actually eat at Arby's

syscall girl posted:

I like Arby's and took offense at this. drat ivory tower elitists can eat at white castle up in Capitol City all they want

morallyobjected posted:

I still use it to this day when I'm hungry, sometimes.

but I never actually eat at Arby's

Neo Rasa posted:

ONCE YOU BEAT THE CAPRA DEMON AND
CLEAN OUT BLIGHTTOWN YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO WIN, AREN'T YOU? AREN'T YOU? WHERE'S
YOUR CURE FOR THE HOLLOWING CURSE AND
TICKET TO ANOR LONDO? WHAT THE HELL
IS THIS? IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO END THIS
WAY!


IT STINKS LIKE THE GAPING DRAGON, BUT
LOOKS LIKE THE NEW LONDO RUINS. LOOKS
LIKE YOU'RE STUCK ON THE SHORES OF
LORDRAN, THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH.


TO CONTINUES THE DARK SOULS EXPERIENCE,
PLAY DARK SOULS II AND ITS AMAZING
SPIRITUAL SUCCESSOR, BLOODBORNE!

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

morallyobjected posted:

The Onion's shot at them is still one of my favourites, too. we used to be living in a heyday of Arby's slams

fruit on the bottom posted:

What have I become
My dearest guest
Everyone I know
Has at least touched a breast

If I could start again
And give this life the splits
I would please myself
I’d come back with tits

tactlessbastard posted:

Sigh. I hope my daughters are lesbians.

Blade Runner posted:

Did you mean to post this or search it on Pornhub

Grouchio posted:

He's talking of when the Iroquois basically went and demolished/massacred all of their native opponents from Ontario to the Ohio Valley to the point of threatening New France directly.

Uglycat posted:

I've collected an oral account of the events; no idea just how accurate they are, it's more of a 'pre-history' thing...

but the way to make a merkin is to take a beaver pelt, pluck the long hairs, felt the short hairs, cut it to shape and attach it with spirit gum

and this was a driving factor

infernal machines posted:

are we supposed to counsel against self harm in here?

Schadenboner posted:

We read your posts so clearly avoiding self-harm isn’t a high priority?

Johnny Walker posted:

Choco1980 posted:

David D. Davidson posted:

Not quite, where's the brick?

Johnny Walker posted:

Call Your Grandma posted:

Attn: Carolina Hurricane Goons

Although the rain and wind will be your first concern, make sure you're prepared for any alligators that wash into your neighbourhood.

The alligators will creep up on you nonchalantly and even though they look goofy and harmless on land, be very careful around them. Once an alligator gets within ~10 feet of you it will try to knock you into the water where it is much stronger and faster than it is on land and you will quickly become lunch meat. They can be pretty aggressive but will back away temporarily if you give them a good bop on the nose with a flashlight or an oar or something.

Alligators are good at crawling so they might get into a house when it floods. Make sure you patrol around your windows to make sure they can't get in. Luckily they hunt mostly during the day and often make a lot of noise so you should be able to figure out when an alligator is nearby. If you have a gun, they are not endangered so I think it's okay to shoot them. A live alligator in your basement could mean trouble because they are hungry and will eat any meat or fish or birds in your house.

Although they are dangerous, it can sometimes be useful to trap and keep an alligator once it gets into your basement. They tire out easily so after its initial struggle you should be able to quietly sneak up on it and tie it to any of your home's exposed structure. Even with its limited ability, it will still be able to hunt any fish or mollusks that come by so it might help you feed yourself if the roads stay closed for a long time. Just make sure you bop it with a rolled up newspaper if it tries anything sneaky!

Below: a pack of alligators (called a congregation) in the wild. You can spot the difference between the male and the female based on the broadness of their head and the darkness of the crest on their bellies (sometimes referred to as a vest). You will generally see them stalking around in pairs but be careful: they hunt in packs and there could easily be 2 or more behind you.


Keep a watchful eye to make sure these bastards can't harm you or your pets or children or wife or grandpa. Good luck and stay safe and dry!!

Violet_Sky posted:

SLOSifl posted:

If you stare at this like a magic eye picture you can hear the COPS theme song

Bobby Digital posted:

get that OUT of my face posted:

"you cannot name a team for a frequent regional natural disaster" lectures whiny man to team that willingly named itself for a string of hurricanes that hit the Carolinas in 1996 and 1997

Goon Danton posted:

Embrace it, name every hockey team after the things that kill people there. The Pittsburgh Opiates, the LA Wildfires, the Colorado Avalanche, etc.

Hodgepodge posted:

The New York Jets...

Neo Rasa posted:

Mikl posted:

sebmojo posted:

Strong finisher

Burt Sexual posted:

No kidding. I like tracing back into threads like that and seeing how many times dude was empty quoted.

Guy Mann posted:

But they're so #relatable, nothing makes me want to eat overpriced lovely sandwiches more than some guy on twitter cutting That Thing You Like out of Arby's boxes and posting it on Twitter.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I forget who made that cartoon way back in the day that did that joke. Think it was The Chicago Fire, some other team, and then the NY Jets with the guy spitting his food everywhere.

elmer chud posted:

The incest trend in pornography is destroying multiple generations.

Milo and POTUS posted:

i blame got. For many things, actually.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Oh absolutely. And then every other premium show wrote in an invest plot.

Sponge Baathist posted:

I blame mad men, mad money, and shark tank.

Phthisis posted:

we can date just how old the joke is by analyzing the meme format originally used



checks out to be 8 years or so old

Canned Panda posted:

Luvcow posted:

the reality of who still buys abercrombie and fitch clothing

StupidSexyVaultGuy posted:

This guy's just being shown a picture of someone in a well-tailored suit.

Jaguars! posted:

zoux posted:

Normal and clean, OK is what they mean

Gawp mouthed stare, it's a racist standing there

burial posted:

Fruit-boots is the best at that game.

china bot posted:

fruit on the bottom posted:

So my question is which version you heard it as, because I was definitely thinking of Johnny Cash at the time.

fruit on the bottom posted:

So my question is which version you heard it as, because I was definitely thinking of Johnny Cash at the time.

burial posted:

Oh-

oh no.


(but yeah, I guess that does make more sense in some way that I can’t put any fingers on.)

china bot posted:

the Nine Inch Nails version, am I still allowed to be moved