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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
The morning commute on Interstate 5 near Lakewood was thwarted Monday morning by an unlikely series of events involving shrimp, cheesecake, a burning semitruck, and an SUV that crashed into multiple emergency-response vehicles while fleeing law enforcement.

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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


here's the text behind the adwall:

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/transportation/nb-i-5-closed-at-lakewood-due-to-semi-fire-and-a-fleeing-suv-that-hit-firetrucks-and-cop-cars/ posted:

The morning commute on Interstate 5 near Lakewood was thwarted Monday morning by an unlikely series of events involving shrimp, cheesecake, a burning semitruck, and an SUV that crashed into multiple emergency-response vehicles while fleeing law enforcement.

All northbound lanes were closed during the height of the morning commute, and the Washington State Department of Transportation advised drivers to delay their trips and avoid the area. Schools in the Clover Park School District opened two hours late.

It all started just before 1 a.m., when a semitruck from Cheesecake Factory that was full of shrimp and cheesecake caught fire near the main gate of Joint Base Lewis McChord and Berkeley Street, according to the Washington State Patrol. The cause of the fire has not yet been determined.

RELATED Some of the weirdest things that have caused major traffic jams in the greater Seattle area
While emergency response crews were at the scene of the fire, shortly before 4 a.m., an SUV crashed into two fire trucks, a patrol car, a WSDOT vehicle and a civilian vehicle, Trooper Johnna Batiste said on Twitter. The WSDOT vehicle’s driver-side door was ripped off.

The SUV driver and passenger were taken to a nearby hospital with serious injuries, Batiste said, but no other injuries were reported.

The driver of the SUV had been fleeing Thurston County sheriff’s deputies, Batiste said. She did not say why the driver was being pursued. Deputies had ended the chase, but the SUV driver continued north on I-5 to Lakewood, where the crash occurred, Batiste said.

The roadway’s left shoulder was opened around 6 a.m. to let some backed-up traffic get through, according to WSDOT. Two lanes of the freeway reopened just after 9 a.m., but the pace of travel through the area remained at a crawl into the afternoon. Even at noon, backups stretched for 13 miles. All lanes were reopened by 1:45 p.m.

The bizarre events behind the backups had some Seattleites recalling the many weird traffic stories the city has seen over the years. Here are some relatively recent ones.

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

"Later it was discovered the hero wasn't even a licensed medical professional. Just a pervert in the right place at the right time."

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/sacbee_news/status/1198051927302574092?s=21

The MSJ
May 17, 2010


I can see this is one of those contraband that mysteriously disappears after being confiscated.


The implied title of that video is even better.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



chitoryu12 posted:

black market bologna

Mods, username change plz

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

But can my cat have a little for a snack?

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004




These people have a mental disorder...
:stare:

https://news.yahoo.com/extreme-surfers-catch-record-waves-portuguese-town-014628289.html

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004




:psyduck:

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Knifecrime Island rises (or sinks) to the occasion.

Aramoro
Jun 1, 2012





It makes slightly more sense when you realise the film was Blue Story and not Frozen 2, a detail they made up to make it a funny story.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Aramoro posted:

It makes slightly more sense when you realise the film was Blue Story and not Frozen 2, a detail they made up to make it a funny story.

They made a movie about the BFC poster?

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Aramoro posted:

It makes slightly more sense when you realise the film was Blue Story and not Frozen 2, a detail they made up to make it a funny story.

Sorry, are you trying to say The Sun just made up some bullshit? Surely not!

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

Stolen from the Cursed thread in GBS:

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

This is less weird in the traditional sense of the thread and more in the WHY??/??? sense


WeWork Founder Adam Neumann 'Helped Kushner Craft Mideast Peace Plan'

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Just in case the thread gods demand something more traditional.

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1198246332105969670

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
So does barking scare the piss out of the frog and the semen is incidental, or does the frog have a barking fetish?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy

Inceltown posted:

Just in case the thread gods demand something more traditional.

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1198246332105969670

Taken from the popular documentary, Beerfest.

Captainsalami
Apr 16, 2010

I told you you'd pay!

Captain Hygiene posted:

:hmmyes:

See the face on the billboard? Well, that man is me

It is I, Ted Nugent!

great big cardboard tube
Sep 3, 2003


Inceltown posted:

Just in case the thread gods demand something more traditional.

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1198246332105969670

Cum is stored in the piss? This throws a real wrench in the balls equation, now I'm even more confused

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


That's why there are two balls: the left one is for piss and right one is for jizz.
It's like a hot and cold tap.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

By popular demand posted:

That's why there are two balls: the left one is for piss and right one is for jizz.
It's like a hot and cold tap.

Which one Hitler had?

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

By popular demand posted:

That's why there are two balls: the left one is for piss and right one is for jizz.
It's like a hot and cold tap.

Bark at one for pee, meow at the other for jizz.

Preferably while backing out the room.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


The MSJ posted:

Which one Hitler had?

Hitler had a malignant right nut which is why he was always full of piss.
Cancel makes it hyperactive.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
When they removed the left nut hitler lurched suddenly to the right

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Milo and POTUS posted:

When they removed the left nut hitler lurched suddenly to the right

:hmmyes:

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Milo and POTUS posted:

When they removed the left nut hitler lurched suddenly to the right

No, no it was national socialism so it was left wing and furthermore :unsmigghh:

artsy fartsy
May 10, 2014

You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Million Dollar Duck reboot looking, uh, a little more sexual.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/thetimes/status/1198941676636688384?s=21

M_Sinistrari
Sep 5, 2008

Do you like scary movies?



Tunicate posted:

generally less burn and more explode into dust due to uneven heating and internal stresses


might wanna crosspost to the lapidary/gemstone megathread

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3894756&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

I asked over there and at the right temperature an emerald will turn to white ash. For something like the stone described in the links, it's an interlocking combination of differing minerals with varying heat points so what parts didn't go to ash are ruined from the soot. Gemstone thread is calling bullshit on the valuation claimed.


Reading the article, I really wonder what sort of security system did they have in place? I know they make it look all high tech in the movies and that movies lie, but I think there's better security at the call center jobs I've had.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

M_Sinistrari posted:

I asked over there and at the right temperature an emerald will turn to white ash. For something like the stone described in the links, it's an interlocking combination of differing minerals with varying heat points so what parts didn't go to ash are ruined from the soot. Gemstone thread is calling bullshit on the valuation claimed.

I enjoy that the first three pictures in that thread look like infections or skin consitions

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

A sad Professor Plum
sitting on a toilet.
https://twitter.com/Queerty/status/1199035031085125633

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Well, where is he going to find his next husband otherwise?

dumb.
Apr 11, 2014

-=💀=-



https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/gaming/man-bought-video-game-character-million-sold-friend-china-a9217206.html

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

lol

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


And the judge actually made the buyer return the character.
This are toddler fight rules applied to adults.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

By popular demand posted:

And the judge actually made the buyer return the character.
This are toddler fight rules applied to adults.

Counterpoint: these are not adults.

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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
How do you spend that much on an MMO game? The article doesn’t say and the court transcript thing is in Mandarin. Even Star Citizen doesn’t have enough stuff to spend a million bucks on unless you’re buying like 10000 of every ship and package they have

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