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I've edited worse things into coherency. I mean that, truly anything you assholes produce could not top the paper from hell which I refused to have my name affixed to in any way.
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Jul 12, 2012 01:57
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To be clear, I'm sure its all written well, content aside. I just feel that the only way we can truly descend into 50 Shades of Grey/A Song of Ice and Fire is if this poo poo makes barely any sense.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:00
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IRQ posted:I've edited worse things into coherency. Well don't leave us hanging, what was it like?
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Jul 12, 2012 02:09
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IRQ posted:I've edited worse things into coherency. Good. I may also need a ghost writer for the intro/outro. Also, while it's flowing like ranch dressing on GRRM's game day chicken wings, what sex chapters aren't taken?
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Jul 12, 2012 02:09
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Kavak posted:Well don't leave us hanging, what was it like? An rear end in a top hat who knew she was leaving her job plagiarized a bunch of poo poo for a massive whitepaper that I later got stuck working on and found out nearly the entire thing was lifted wholesale. And it was due to go out in like 2 weeks. You know that supposed software universities have to detect poo poo like that? It's a myth. A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Good. I may also need a ghost writer for the intro/outro. I'm good at editing, mostly because I don't care if I hurt anyone's feelings about it. Also it's easier than writing!
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Jul 12, 2012 02:18
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I haven't even started writing yet.  I guess I know what I'll be doing tomorrow.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:20
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Any consensus on names for not-the-arbor and not-dorne so that we can reduce all grape varietals to [location] red/gold?
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Jul 12, 2012 02:23
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Scrubs, my rough draft is already done.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:25
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What chapters are left?
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Jul 12, 2012 02:30
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Headline: Fifty Shades trilogy breaks 20 million sales mark in US
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Jul 12, 2012 02:34
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We are going to be so loving rich.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:37
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1stGear posted:We are going to be so loving rich. What kind of sex swing are you guys going to buy first?
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Jul 12, 2012 02:39
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Cirofren posted:Any consensus on names for not-the-arbor and not-dorne so that we can reduce all grape varietals to [location] red/gold? "Darne/Darnish" is my fill in name right now. I also have no idea what side characters are named, so I'm using [Eddard] etc.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:39
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IRQ posted:What kind of sex swing are you guys going to buy first? Heavy duty.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:40
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You're going to make about three dollars. If your mothers buy it to make you feel better. Anyway, continuing to read through 50 Shades, and I think you're missing the character of a perfectly nice young man who has a crush on a female character for readers to feel sad for because he's not as super-amazing as the love interest.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:44
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Jeffrey needs to have a crush on someone to get a nice love quadrangle going. Make it Kate, for the MILF crowd.
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Jul 12, 2012 02:45
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Give Jeff some daddy issues. Serious daddy issues.  Also: pm me if you want to be my proofreader for the prologue. I want to make sure it succeeds in making you sad and frustrated when every single introduced character dies. 
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Jul 12, 2012 02:47
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I'm thinking about taking chapter 1, but these are the chapters that are left (don't have a name next to): Chapter 1 – Sensa A couple of months after the prologue. Sensa is moping because she's having to pack up and leave Autumnfall. We get introduced to her mother, brother and sister as well as the fate of Sir Hogor (he was discovered by and returned to Autumnfall by the same search party that went out to look for the King and Lord Nathyn after they failed to return home and now seems almost completely dumb, speaking only his name "Hogor". Sensa is sad to leave home, but happy to be travelling to Emperor's Crossing because she gets to meet her betrothed King Jeffrey. The family, sans Brendan, pack up and leave. Chapter 9 - Sensa [SEX] Sensa, ready with her new sexperience, makes a date with Jeffrey. The two swoon about and flirt for a while and then retire to the king's chambers where they do it. Sensa is swept up in the moment and actually improves the technique or whatever and Jeffrey is really pleased. He falls asleep and Sensa is right pleased with herself. Chapter 11 - Kate [SEX] Kate has set up a meeting with Faras Byrell. The midderlands are lands of pasture and field, so she arranges a picnic in a beautiful field of wildflowers. The two ride out chatting, and Kate notices Faras has brought a strange pack with him. They have their picnic while discussing politics and Faras has a simple enough request – he wants a place at court for his daughter and a captainship of the royal guard for his son. He says that he’s been speaking with Thayor and he spilled the beans how they had sex. He says he’ll go along if Kate will do the same for him. She agrees and he goes for the pack, revealing ropes and bindings. He asks Kate to bind him up and dominate him and obviously have some kind of sex. They do and he agrees. Kate feels she may be getting a reputation but is pleased things are going well. Now there is only the two southern lords, the historically quarrelsome Southern Lords. (They don’t get along.) Chapter 13 – Ardi Ardi comes to Sensa with the knowledge that their father and the former king were killed by someone in Emperors Crossing. The two contemplate this and decide on a course of action. Sensa will keep her eyes open around the castle while Ardi rides for Autumnfall to see if she can get anything out of Hogor since he was the only survivor. They know it is a long shot, but it’s the only chance they have. Plus, if enemies are in the castle, Sensa would rather have her little sister out of danger. Sensa asks her to leave immediately and to take Genden with her. She’ll cover for her here at court. Genden and Ardi set out. Chapter 15 – Sensa [SEX] Sensa and the women sneak into Jeffrey’s room while he’s out hunting. She strips down and the two women decorate her with flowers and delicate edible treats and leave just as Jeffrey comes into his room. She calls him over and he is very excited and surprised at such a treat. Sensa is VERY turned on while Jeffrey appreciates her body and begins to eat off of her. He eats maybe a quarter of the food before taking her right on the table she is lying on. She is excited and happy, but is somewhat distracted by the plot against her father. Chapter 16 – Kate Kate sets up a meeting with the two southern lords. She tries to have a nice dinner and show them a good time, but the two lords are constantly fighting and eventually blow up over some ancient dispute. They both need it resolved by the crown before they’ll swear. They storm off and Kate is left to contemplate how to reconcile these two long enough to get them to swear fealty to Jeffrey. Chapter 20 – Brendan Ardi arrives at Autumnfall with Genden and they tell Brendan they really need to try to get something out of Hogor. Brendan tells them of his new powers and wargs into Hogor. He discovers the plot was set up by James and Sarah and Ardi, Genden, Brendan, Miri and Hogor set off back to Emperors Crossing at top speed. Chapter 21 – Sensa Sensa approaches James and, assuming he is a good man because of his relation to Jeffrey, tries to enlist his help in her search for the conspirators that killed her father. James plays along and says they must go to the king immediately with the information. They hurry to the throne room, but find Sarah on the throne and Jeffrey nowhere to be found. Sensa is confused, but Sarah says the king has simply gone out for a while on some routine trip as kings do. James tells Sensa to tell Sarah what he knows. The throne room is completely empty but for the three of them. The two begin to turn and threaten Sensa and James pulls a sword. Sarah goes and opens a door and half a dozen loyal guards come in. Things look bad for Sensa. Suddenly, the throne doors burst open and the crew from Autumnfall (sans Brendan who elsewhere controlling Hogor) come in. They see the danger, and guessing what is going on, engage the troops. After a fight, they come out on top and capture James and Sarah. James says it doesn’t matter anyway, because the lords will never swear fealty to Jeffrey and the Lincolnshires have them paid off. Kate arrives with the all the lords, Blacksun and Orion holding hands. Hogor explains the plot, and the lords explain they will swear to Jeffrey and demand to know where he is. He is being held in the dungeons and they go to release him. Chapter 23 – Sensa [SEX] Sensa goes to Jeffrey’s room and finds The Pound already there. Jeffrey tells Sensa that Sender has been telling him about how the two of them have been having sex. Sensa is surprised and worried Jeffrey will be upset. He is not and says that he knows he won’t always have enough time for Sensa, being a king and all and tells her to not worry about having relations with the Pound. Besides, he says, the Pound and he have been gently caressing each other since they were boys. Sensa realizes what this means and the trio have a celebratory threesome.
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Jul 12, 2012 03:02
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I'll take 9. I don't think I'm on one yet.
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Jul 12, 2012 03:10
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IRQ posted:What kind of sex swing are you guys going to buy first? Only it's a sex swing.
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Jul 12, 2012 03:13
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whowhatwhere posted:You're going to make about three dollars. If your mothers buy it to make you feel better. It's not about the money. People are trying to create some art here.    
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Jul 12, 2012 03:17
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Put me down for chapter 1, although I might pull out if I don't have time this weekend.
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Jul 12, 2012 03:17
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Chapter 21 absolutely must include the line "Hogor smash".
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Jul 12, 2012 03:19
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Hogor is really fine to write. Whenever I don't know what to do next: "Hogor," Hogor said happily/sadly/confused. Every single time. Oh and email sent.
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Jul 12, 2012 04:07
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whowhatwhere posted:But then the style will be incoherent Thats why you are our continuity expert and fact checker, so you can explain why the Molybdenum Throne is decorated with gilded lilies. Wait, I can answer that one. Because the Wyvern Lords were baller as gently caress. Also the Bartholemew lands are now run by Roger's brother Renard. Or Reynault, whichever is better.
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Jul 12, 2012 06:44
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I feel it my duty to make sure we don't leave out a love scene that takes place among the swaying branches of a heart (hard?) tree. For inspiration/reference: http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Heart_tree  (alternatively it could just be cover art)
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Jul 12, 2012 07:03
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^Bran's totally macking on Miri there in my chapter Uh what are you guys calling the godswood?
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Jul 12, 2012 07:10
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Gotswood of course.
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Jul 12, 2012 07:12
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OldPueblo posted:Gotswood of course. Götterwood.  That's not correct German but those dot thingies are cool.
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Jul 12, 2012 07:14
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The Carnival Grounds. We worship the Duo, for the Mirthful Messiahs are our only salvation.
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Jul 12, 2012 07:18
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What do we say to the god of sex? Oh God, yes! Yes! Harder!
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Jul 12, 2012 07:21
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I'm calling the Czario/Ardi sex scene in book 2
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Jul 12, 2012 07:26
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Ambiguatron posted:What do we say to the god of sex? If this isn't in a Gotswood chapter I will be disappointed. if no one claims a particular chapter I will take it. and be as bad thread as possible with it. Azure_Horizon fucked around with this message at 07:49 on Jul 12, 2012 |
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Jul 12, 2012 07:46
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OldPueblo posted:I feel it my duty to make sure we don't leave out a love scene that takes place among the swaying branches of a heart (hard?) tree. For inspiration/reference: Um. There's an open mouth. Right. There. We all know what that scene needs to include.
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Jul 12, 2012 07:57
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Hogor performing sacrilegious acts under Sudsyank's control
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Jul 12, 2012 08:05
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Is there such a thing as a man-tree-train? If not someone should invent such a thing, perhaps in literature.
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Jul 12, 2012 08:12
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Ambiguatron posted:What do we say to the god of sex? Ambiguatron posted:Götterwood. You want to know the worst thing I came across just to say mein gott with a proper umlaut. This. This is probably the worst thing that I can put in what didn't use to be but properly deserves the title "the bad thread." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUYFbr3mDFE I guess we can all imagine this piano playing along the teary trail of our collective King's Road.
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Jul 12, 2012 08:34
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gently caress you, this is always the Once and Future Bad Thread.
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Jul 12, 2012 08:57
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Ambiguatron posted:I sent an email. hes of the night, yo
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Jul 12, 2012 10:34
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I don't think I can write anything gross enough to satisfy the requirements of this book but I will proofread for anyone. I proofread for fun anyway. A protip on dialogue for anyone writing, the proper form has a commas within the dialogue whenever it is attributed, except for exclamation and question marks. Like this: "I am only saying one sentence this time," he said. "But I will say two," she said. "I broke them up in the middle, though. Since they were two distinct sentences, I put a period after my attribution." "What if I wanted," he asked, "to attribute in the middle of a sentence?" "I think you need a comma after the attribution, then. Didn't you just did it correctly?" she said. "Yes, I am awesome. Now everyone can write their sex banter properly!" he said. "This book is going to be disgusting." But still she read on. Sophia fucked around with this message at 12:33 on Jul 12, 2012 |
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Jul 12, 2012 12:23
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