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Yeah, I shave in the shower. Does that make me a hero? Should you model your whole life around me? I mean, probably. |
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Feb 7, 2018 02:55
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Twenty Four posted:I'm the moderator of the message board at work. The physical cork and push pin message board. I will put this here just because I am proud of that joke about being a mod and the chat thread goes fast by byob standards! Also to add to the cheap one off dumb joke thread!
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Feb 7, 2018 16:06
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"I can't believe I just got hit by a loving car!" -future astronaut https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 7, 2018 18:43
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Splatmaster posted:"I can't believe I just got hit by a loving car!" *riding my astrobike thru the vacuum of space* finally i found the one way to escape the toxicity of car culture... now to take a big sip of HydrationGel
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Feb 7, 2018 18:48
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now that ive seen the earth from space, my life has been changed forever. i now realize we have to live as one, helping each other through hard times and loving and laughing during the good. we must work to end war, hunger and poverty so that everyone can find happiness on this little blue ball drifting through space. *flips off other driver in traffic* |
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Feb 7, 2018 18:49
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EXTREMELY SUAVE DICTATOR, LIKE ROBERT EVANS, BUT IN A MILITARY UNIFORM WITH WAY TOO MANY MEDALS ON IT: Are we ready to start recording? RECORDING ENGINEER: y-yes, Savior Of The People. STEVE: *lowers sunglasses, blows cigarette smoke from his nose *Hey kid, call me Steve* RECORDING ENGINEER: O-ok Ste... *looks at armed soldiers guarding the door. one shakes his head curtly* ook. Ready when you a-are. STEVE: Hey gang, let's cut to the chase. No pussyfooting here. My story, like all the great stories throughout history, is chockablock with sex, drugs, betrayal, and a pogrom against ethnic Albanians. My god, if these walls could talk *takes deep drink of bourbon* well, I'd have to have them shot. ---------------- |
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Feb 7, 2018 22:49
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Riding around town in a converted ice cream truck trying to unload some fresh, sour pickles. |
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Feb 8, 2018 01:01
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Riding around town in a converted ice cream truck trying to unload some fresh, sour pickles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM1pnZ5omyw |
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Feb 8, 2018 01:26
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Hey... Check this out... slanguage |
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Feb 8, 2018 03:37
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A slang language |
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Feb 8, 2018 03:37
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vanisher posted:Hey... Check this out...  vanisher posted:A slang language  i'll get the head of the local linguistics department and the local jokes department on the horn
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Feb 8, 2018 03:55
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https://www.noslang.com/reverse/ |
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Feb 8, 2018 04:06
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Hey, this thing actually works  
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Feb 8, 2018 04:13
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Autistic people are just like everybody else: we put our underwear, pants, socks and shoes on one leg at a time, just like everybody else. |
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Feb 8, 2018 04:37
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A rebellious drow named Burrrrt Ha'Zurd. |
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Feb 9, 2018 00:34
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A rebellious drow named Burrrrt Ha'Zurd. his car has a mind-flayer head painted on the roof |
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Feb 9, 2018 00:34
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He's being pursued by an actual pigman who rides on a spider |
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Feb 9, 2018 00:35
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mysterious frankie posted:EXTREMELY SUAVE DICTATOR, LIKE ROBERT EVANS, BUT IN A MILITARY UNIFORM WITH WAY TOO MANY MEDALS ON IT: Are we ready to start recording? Dictator For Life, Dear Leader Robert Evans is a solid concept and I would post in this thread, fwiw
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Feb 9, 2018 00:45
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darth_pizza posted:Dictator For Life, Dear Leader Robert Evans is a solid concept and I would post in this thread, fwiw I say go for it because I'm honest with myself and know if it was mine I'd try too hard and probably not be funny and then no one would want to post and it would be v empty and sad, because that's how I roll. Sort of a real Frasier in that way. ---------------- |
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Feb 9, 2018 03:49
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mysterious frankie posted:I say go for it because I'm honest with myself and know if it was mine I'd try too hard and probably not be funny and then no one would want to post and it would be v empty and sad, because that's how I roll. Sort of a real Frasier in that way. Yobbers are very chill and funny and can spin even my terrible unfunny threads into comedy gold, maybe not for long. I've gotten a good laugh from every thread I've made. Papa Was A Video Toaster fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Feb 9, 2018 |
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Feb 9, 2018 04:15
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I think it'd be funny if we swapped the vegetables and the chocolate bars by the checkouts at the grocery store. And maybe instead of magazines they'd have classic literature. |
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Feb 9, 2018 05:23
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DavidAlltheTime posted:I think it'd be funny if we swapped the vegetables and the chocolate bars by the checkouts at the grocery store. And maybe instead of magazines they'd have classic literature. those soap opera gossip mags but about classic lit Big Whale Reveal Are Hamlet and Ophelia Through? AMANTILLADO SHOCKER |
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Feb 9, 2018 05:29
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and the vegetables have extreme candy names: Cornbursts, Flavor Blasted Beets, Xtreme Squash.
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Feb 9, 2018 05:41
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Corn meal is still just corn meal: the absolute median of the grocery store purchases. |
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Feb 9, 2018 06:40
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The Wayne's world "hi I'm in delaware" gag but it's about obtaining cornmeal |
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Feb 9, 2018 13:33
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alnilam posted:The Wayne's world "hi I'm in delaware" gag but it's about obtaining cornmeal HEY! I live in cornmeal! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 9, 2018 13:38
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hey take it up with the hypothetical grocery-version of wayne campbell |
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Feb 9, 2018 13:41
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alnilam posted:hey take it up with the hypothetical grocery-version of wayne campbell He's too busy trying to buy that guitar and win over Cassandra https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 9, 2018 13:51
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"whats the deal with cornmeal? Sure, it's probably corn, but it doesn't look like corn, and it sure isn't a meal!!!!" |
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Feb 9, 2018 15:10
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*two guys with cornmeal all over their faces sitting at a table with a pile of cornmeal on it*: "You feel anything yet?"
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 9, 2018 15:20
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A black & white fist opens revealing a small pile of yellow corn meal. Announcer: "Dusty. Yellow. Same." |
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Feb 9, 2018 15:56
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Children of the Cornmeal
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 9, 2018 16:00
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"hey can you get this blog up today? Sorry for the short notice." *tugging my collar and sweating and making "errrahhhhhhheerrrrrrrrhhhhhhummmmmerrr" noises, consulting my spreadsheet p2p.xlsx and noticing I still have three hours today blocked off for posting but only 5 hours left till I go home* "Sorry, have too much to do today. I'll get it up Monday." |
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Feb 9, 2018 17:15
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Hey can you sharpen this pencil? *shock and disgust registers across my features. I tumble off of my stressless yoga ball. My face, now pale, twists into anger as my nostrils flair and I ready a curse. I scramble on the floor, as though to launch an attack. My footing is lost over my cubicles sandy floor and I fall into my decorative waterfall fountain, knocking myself unconscious* |
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Feb 9, 2018 18:47
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I walk into the sales office "hey can you sharpen this pencil?" "You know, I like to start all conversations assuming people know nothing about pencils, even though they do, to make sure they make the best decisions." I really just need it shar... "First off, you can choose from a mechanical pencil, a carpenters pencil, a number 2, a number 5..." (20 mins later) "I hope you learned a lot about pencils today!" Are you going to sharpen my pencil? "Sorry I really only handle giving out new unsharpened pencils" |
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Feb 9, 2018 18:56
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"My computer won't load any webpage except for satan.devil can you come take a look?" My spine turns into jellyfish meat as I slide into a heap in the floor. All the air in my body is forced out in a titanic sigh. |
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Feb 9, 2018 19:45
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"My computer won't load any webpage except for satan.devil can you come take a look?" Reaches for mouse, it is a cup of eyeballs now |
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Feb 9, 2018 21:36
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"My computer won't load any webpage except for satan.devil can you come take a look?" my computer must be haunted, because I keep seeing a gangly man shrieking through a mouthful of milk about gay video games wanting to rape his butt on youtube... no wait, it's 2018 ---------------- |
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Feb 9, 2018 22:11
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Bergmann's Pretzel Ball - If you're going to choke on a pretzel, make it a Bergmann. |
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Feb 9, 2018 22:40
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| # ? May 26, 2024 09:08 |
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At the beginning of time, the Cosmic Hen laid a speckled egg. When the egg cracked open the shell became the heavens, the goo spread out to form the sea, and the yolk became the earth. This is how all things began. At the far end of time, there lies the great Scramble and the end of all things. |
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Feb 9, 2018 22:43
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