Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
EoinCannon
Aug 29, 2008

Grimey Drawer
9 years is a pretty long plank

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


https://edition.cnn.com/2020/02/23/us/new-planking-world-record-trnd/index.html posted:

But no matter how much he wanted to stop, Hood said he had to keep going because he was doing this for a bigger reason than just himself. He was doing it to help raise mental health awareness.

This man is a goddamned hero. read the article y'all.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

I'm not sure which site it was from, but the headline Google News chose to show me for that story earlier today was something like "Former Marine sets record holding plank for 9 hours", so at first I though he had just stood around holding a literal wooden plank for 9 hours. While a long time to hold a plank, that really wasn't all that impressive sounding. Then I noticed the attached picture and realized what they meant. Hopefully whichever site it pulled that headline from has rewritten it since then.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Note that roosters are apparently to France what eagles are to America.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Note that roosters are apparently to France what eagles are to America.

The pun has been noted for millennia.

It took gall to own it.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

quote:

Baboons on loose at Sydney’s Royal Prince Alfred Hospital

A number of baboons have broken loose, roaming outside Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney’s inner west.

Several callers to 2GB reported three primates had escaped the hospital, with some suggesting they had now been rounded up.

“My daughter is an occupational therapist at RPA and she said “yes mum I just helped wrangle them,” a woman said.

NSW Police confirmed the baboons were roaming wild around the hospital.

“They seem to have come from the hospital,” a spokeswoman said.

Police said they have been contacted by hospital in regards to the baboons and were asked to respond.

https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1232205475652853762/pu/vid/352x640/9LEe28xrFtmv-5GK.mp4?tag=10

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019


:frogsiren:

https://twitter.com/RoseBrennan12/status/1232226699921592320

:frogsiren:

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019



Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!

"Man who believes in a just and loving God assumes Ed Sheeran is destitute"

Checks out.

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!

It's a parody account.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
"Wisconsin woman performs ritual on dead possum in road, tells it to ‘repent,’ police say"
"A woman was performing a spiritual ritual on a dead opossum in the road at Springdale & Bluemound by throwing goldfish & windshield washer fluid on it. She then pulled out a Packers lawn chair and yelled “repent” at the dead animal."

https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/wisconsin-woman-performs-ritual-dead-possum-road-tells-it-repent-police-say/Z7FXLNKWMVADHD6GJ3C77HH6AY/

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


:dawkins101: was made for this

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

"Wisconsin woman performs ritual on dead possum in road, tells it to ‘repent,’ police say"
"A woman was performing a spiritual ritual on a dead opossum in the road at Springdale & Bluemound by throwing goldfish & windshield washer fluid on it. She then pulled out a Packers lawn chair and yelled “repent” at the dead animal."

https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/wisconsin-woman-performs-ritual-dead-possum-road-tells-it-repent-police-say/Z7FXLNKWMVADHD6GJ3C77HH6AY/

The linked YouTube video at the bottom is pretty funny.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Proteus Jones posted:

The linked YouTube video at the bottom is pretty funny.

Wow, I hadn't even listened to it. "5 pounds of possum in my headlights tonight" played by two good ol' boys rocks.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Kids these days. Way back when, a warm potato or two was a good way to keep out the chill on a cold winter's night but no, they've gotta make it weird.

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
They must have a flared base, doctors added.

Ninurta
Sep 19, 2007
What the HELL? That's my cutting board.


Potato, potatoe, patootie.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

How hard is it to whittle a flared base in an old Idaho Russet anyways?

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
https://twitter.com/KlasfeldReports/status/1232461035082108928

Take the plunge! Okay!
Feb 24, 2007




Yo, dawg etc.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Predatory Songbirds: the case of the murderous tits

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

I've never liked Murderous Tits ever since they opened for Blood-Footed Boobies in Croydon.

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
Symbiote songbirds

Staryberry
Oct 16, 2009
"Hearse stolen with body inside from church in unincorporated Pasadena"

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-02-26/hearse-stolen-with-body-inside-from-church-in-unincorporated-pasadena

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Stop murderous tits with masectomies.

AFewBricksShy
Jun 19, 2003

of a full load.




Tough titties?

AFewBricksShy has a new favorite as of 16:38 on Feb 27, 2020

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

AFewBricksShy posted:

Tough titties?

Killer tits

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Reminds me of this hot mess back in the day, also in California

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Greenlee

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:

Randaconda posted:

Reminds me of this hot mess back in the day, also in California

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Greenlee

Reads first sentence
Closes tab

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

zakharov posted:

Reads first sentence
Closes tab

Hey, she didn't kill anybody, at least.

edit: also, at the time, necrophilia was not illegal in California lol

Dachshundofdoom
Feb 14, 2013

Pillbug
China will not send ducks to tackle locusts in Pakistan, says expert

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Randaconda posted:

Hey, she didn't kill anybody, at least.

edit: also, at the time, necrophilia was not illegal in California lol

enemas weren't illegal in Illinois either, but just because you can doesn't mean you should


"It so happened, that at the time of the robbery
Michael, decided to give his female victims
A little enema
Apparently, there was no law against that
But his name lives on
Michael Kenyon
THE ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT!"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_H._Kenyon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCTzgATx09o

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

All women are stinkybutts so giving them an enema is a public service.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/goslingtrain/status/1232880250142457857

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019


More like unlawful possession of a firearm by a feline

C.M. Kruger
Oct 28, 2013
No headline but a truck driver in Japan was arrested for stealing several thousand bicycle seats.
https://twitter.com/nhk_news/status/1233300650903179271
https://www3.nhk.or.jp/news/html/20200228/k10012306481000.html
The NHK article run through google translate:

quote:

Around the country, a truck driver allegedly stealing a bicycle saddle was arrested. As many as 5,800 saddles have been found in the warehouse they rented, stating that "I like saddles and can't help it. I've been stealing them for 25 years."
The arrested was Hiroaki Suda, a truck driver in Numazu City, Shizuoka Prefecture, 57.

According to police, last November, a bicycle parking lot near Kintetsu Yoshida Station in Higashiosaka City was suspected of having removed and stolen two bicycle saddles.

Police said that they had rented six warehouses near their homes to store saddles, and found that about 5,800 saddles were found and seized.

According to Suda traveling around the country on business, police believe he had repeatedly stolen saddles on the go.

He accused the investigation, stating that "I initially stole the saddle lightly to relieve stress, but gradually became fond of the saddle. I have been stealing for 25 years." is.

Google also tells me there are 247 work days a year in Japan, so he was basically stealing one almost every day for 25 years

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Weird News: I initially stole the saddle lightly to relieve stress

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply