I Am Canadian and Glad

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SpannerX: Apr 26, 2010; I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.; Fun Shoe

dev286 posted:

Guys I had a Coffee Crisp yesterday for the first time in a while and... It wasn't very good! Did it aways have a core made of wax?
Is Nestle cheaping out on ingredients?

gently caress, don't eat nestle products.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 00:27

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 08:49

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

Ignore Me posted:

What retard came up with that idea?

How do you pour the milk into a cup from a big bag with out it going everywhere and making a mess?

Jesus, gently caress what a stupid way to sell milk.

Man, I covered this already

RandomFerret posted:

The bags, for the confused, are a plastic bag that holds 4 litres of milk, separated into smaller clear bags. No, not four 1-litre bags, silly, 3 1.3-litre bags. If you want 1 litre, go buy a carton or a jug. But you should know that we only keep those around for Americans coming up north to shop, just so we can post the security camera footage to yankeefails.ca, the most popular website in Canada. There's a video going viral right now of Americans trying to drive in August without snow tires, and it's a laugh riot. I'd post a link to it, but it would come up 404 for anybody outside the country. Don't try to use a proxy either, we're one step ahead of you. We are always one step ahead of you, as evidenced by our superior milk conveyance technology.

Once you have bought the bag and removed a smaller bag, you put it in a pitcher. No, you don't pour the milk into the pitcher, moron, you put the entire bag into a pitcher specially designed to keep 1.333 litre bags upright. Then you take a pair of scissors and snip the corner of the bag to make a pouring spout. Don't have one? Go buy one. You going to complain that you have to buy glasses to drink out of, too? What's next, buying car seat covers and then complaining that you can't use them without a car? You sicken me.

This system is obviously superior to any other milk pitcher used in the rest of the world. You want to be the one washing a pitcher every couple of days? Of course not. This way you get a pristine, untouched spout every 1.333333333 litres, and it's to your exact specifications. Do you want it so narrow that the milk shoots in an arc over your cereal bowl and across the table, or do you want it so wide that half the milk pours out at once, causing the bag to collapse and flop out of the pitcher and onto the floor, bursting and spilling the rest? The choice is yours, and the choice is those two.

No, there is no way to reseal the bag. gently caress you.

I had to type out the quote tags by hand since the original thread has long since been closed and it made me realise that I haven't posted anything funny in years or indeed at all

# ? Nov 16, 2016 00:49

SpannerX: Apr 26, 2010; I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.; Fun Shoe

quote:

Do you want it so narrow that the milk shoots in an arc over your cereal bowl and across the table, or do you want it so wide that half the milk pours out at once, causing the bag to collapse and flop out of the pitcher and onto the floor, bursting and spilling the rest? The choice is yours, and the choice is those two.

I've done both.

edit:

SpannerX fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Nov 16, 2016

# ? Nov 16, 2016 00:52

Ignore Me: Nov 11, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

RandomFerret posted:

Man, I covered this already

I had to type out the quote tags by hand since the original thread has long since been closed and it made me realise that I haven't posted anything funny in years or indeed at all

Jesus loving a holy cow in a pig sty, thats just too much work and too many utensils just to get a glass of milk.

You Canadians make me sick.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 00:55

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usFFKNRB2z8

You're welcome Canada.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 00:59

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr0FPRC82j4

# ? Nov 16, 2016 01:03

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

RandomFerret posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr0FPRC82j4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxJvrD80nJ4

# ? Nov 16, 2016 01:05

Ignore Me: Nov 11, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

RandomFerret posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr0FPRC82j4

The Littlest Hobo. I loved that show!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 01:05

Grandma Panic!: Nov 4, 2006

Away all Goats posted:

Being from Scarborough and on the internet I had learned one thing: we might as well be another country to anyone east of the Don Valley and South of the Danforth

"how many gunshots do you hear a week" a serious question that was I was asked in University

Pretty sure Scarborough is home to our very own forums superstar Dare, so it's got that going for it too.
I live in the Upper North Beaches, myself.

:duckie:

Edit: we got a constant large duck issue too http://goose-watch.uwaterloo.ca/
If you're gonna visit be sure to memorize the etiquette :duckie:

Grandma Panic! fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Nov 16, 2016

# ? Nov 16, 2016 01:09

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

I'm from Hamilton AMA

Note: the answer to every question will be "Go back to Toronto"

# ? Nov 16, 2016 01:18

Kia Soul Enthusias: May 9, 2004; zoom-zoom; Toilet Rascal

I think 4L jugs are just gallon jugs filled a little higher.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 01:38

CrcleSqreSanchz: Aug 21, 2002; I'm feeling something new...something...I'm happy??!!

Littlest Hobo is legit

# ? Nov 16, 2016 02:00

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Bonzo posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFgPX0hnNfA

Is it possible to go find rubes in Canada that are uneducated, racist, and poor while pretending to be an actual journalist?

I think not.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 02:17

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

is dare why no one says to go to scarborough

# ? Nov 16, 2016 02:25

milkrun: Mar 7, 2007

CrcleSqreSanchz posted:

Winnipeg!

Highest murder capitol in Canada (still I think?)!

Winnipeg!

Where driving on our roads reminds you what it is like driving on bombed out roads in warzones!

Winnipeg!

Where it reaches -60 in the winter, but don't worry you're still expected to get to work!

Winnipeg!

We have a Human Rights Museum that we were pumped for as it would bring tourists to Winnipeg to see....atrocities..but then we got the Jets back so gently caress that museum!
....also they take bribes to show/not show certain atrocities.

Winnipeg!

Racist capital of Canada! Anything you Americans say about Mexicans or African-Americans we say about Indigenous people and then hold our noses up at your racism! gently caress there are reserves that haven't had clean water in over 40 years!

Winnipeg!

We have a new football stadium on our University because the guy that promised he would pay for it himself by building a mall and putting it somewhere sensible ended up not building the mall, making us pay for it and couldn't put it somewhere sensible so he used his University connections to turn land that was for Dorm rooms into a football stadium so he could still control the football team (it was a dream of his) until he blew the budget and got kicked out!!
...oh and there is only two ways into the Stadium right now so traffic gets bottlenecked, surrounding neighborhoods get noisy and the students have to gently caress off when there is football. CANADIAN FOOTBALL

Winnipeg!

We actually have a kick rear end music scene, some good festivals, diversity of amazing food and have a small town feel even though we're supposed to be a city.

WINNIPEG!!!!

also the home to the only Biosafety Level 4 facility in Canada so watch out for ebola

# ? Nov 16, 2016 02:34

Lacey: Jul 10, 2001; _{Guess where this lollipop's going?}

Fsmhunk posted:

Beta seems to mean kind and polite, in my expierence.

It also means Americans suck rear end at creating insults. Canadians have cool insults like hoser and tool.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 02:42

dev286: Nov 30, 2006; Let it be all the best.

Lacey posted:

It also means Americans suck rear end at creating insults. Canadians have cool insults like hoser and tool.

Don't forget goof and poo poo disturber

# ? Nov 16, 2016 04:41

JawKnee: Mar 24, 2007; You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Rutibex posted:

i dont know where they come from (maybe the government?), but every canadian owns a milk bag holder

Actually as I said only those in the east were selected for the extremely hush-hush semi-sentient plastic milk-jug program. The predecessor to CSIS (Canadian Spies In Space) determined that the British Monarchy would be best served by a public that had learned it's place as true servants - and how better but by having subliminal messages piped directly through your stomach via milk that had been interacting with a semi-sentient plastic?

Sadly they failed to account for the jug's inherent hatred of Plastic Bags, and no such messages were ever detected - the program was shuttered before it could reach the west.

Now for a more lighthearted fact: Many people of Earth are aware that Hockey Is Important To Canada. Even our friendly neighbors to the south (but not too far south) have picked up on the sport as fun and exciting and male dominated. However, did you know that traditionally it is in fact the Canadian mating ritual - or, at least, the first few steps in a year long courting that involves danger, intrigue, immense amounts of ice and flannel, luck, and no small amount... of love?

It's True!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 04:42

JawKnee: Mar 24, 2007; You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Did you know Canada has it's very own fleet of Welcoming Beavers? It's True!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 04:45

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

i like curling, legitimately

# ? Nov 16, 2016 04:49

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

FuhrerHat posted:

i like curling, legitimately

Women's. Hot butts

# ? Nov 16, 2016 04:52

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Blazing Zero posted:

it might be a nice tropical getaway in 30 years

# ? Nov 16, 2016 05:18

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

I am American and Glad.
I fly the American Flag.
When Trump got elected.
I felt real rejected.
Now I'm Canadian and Glad.

Some more limerick fun for our friends up north. Enjoy.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:04

Reince Penis: Nov 15, 2007; by R. Guyovich

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
"If Trump wins I'm moving to Canada"

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:24

DamnCanadian: Jan 3, 2005; Perpetuating the stereotype since 1978.

Blazing Zero posted:

it might be a nice tropical getaway in 30 years

There's been an on-again, off-again movement for Canada to annex the Turks and Caicos Islands.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:29

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
"If Trump wins I'm moving to Canada"

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:33

Fsmhunk: Jul 19, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
"If Trump wins I'm moving to Canada"

I don't think we should let this guy in.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 18:48

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rSBmOgpcDE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxlEqO_MA04

# ? Nov 16, 2016 20:15

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 08:49

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

if its ok to eat.. (if its ok to eat)
like a muffin or a beet! (like a muffin or a beet!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AuLkMBAFZg

# ? Nov 16, 2016 20:21

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