The cast of Star Wars VII has been announced

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The cast of Star Wars VII has been announced

That Fucking Sned: Oct 28, 2010

Milky Moor posted:

the CD star wars thread has been saying this for the past elventy billion posts

they unironically think the prequels are masterpieces because of it

It's like if everyone in the Duke Nukem Forever thread thought "SuperMechaGodzilla is right, this is a work of art!"

# ? Apr 30, 2014 16:39

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 14:22

Funkstar Deluxe: May 7, 2007; 「☆☆☆」

please do not bring SMG into this thread

tia

# ? Apr 30, 2014 16:40

SuperMechagodzilla: Jun 9, 2007; NEWT REBORN

Who is playing Jar Jar.?

# ? Apr 30, 2014 16:58

Blast of Confetti: Apr 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

First Bass posted:

han and leia became the cool parents that get stoned and gently caress all the time, han will probably smoke with you on the porch if it's a good day on kashyyk, and let you have a house party in the basement with everyone from the jedi academy, while luke disapproves

probs because that jerkass came in and stole his chick

# ? Apr 30, 2014 16:59

Blast of Confetti: Apr 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Frankenstyle posted:

Having watched a couple episodes of Girls,

self owned

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:00

King of Internet: Nov 16, 2013; High King Internet of Internet

Why are they going from episode 3 to episode 7

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:05

General Dog: Apr 26, 2008; Everybody's working for the weekend

Oscar Isaac is a pretty big deal.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:08

Four Score: Feb 27, 2014; by zen death robot; Lipstick Apathy

Stormfang1502 posted:

Kushyyk

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:14

plain blue jacket: Jan 13, 2014; IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS

Rumour is that Bill Cosby will be playing Jar Jar's great grandson. He'll provide comedic relief in scenes that otherwise would be to dark e.g. when Jar Jar mistook all the dead younglings as asleep and scolded them for not being in their space dormitories.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:15

reallivedinosaur: Jun 13, 2012; Ogdober subrise! XDDD

Who the gently caress calls children "younglings"? Is it some sort of power autism combined with homeschooling, so that they've never seen human children before?

That's the worst thing about the prequels, and it totally ruined my childhood.

Anyways.

Han shits first (he is an old man in diapers).

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:19

Blast of Confetti: Apr 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

reallivedinosaur posted:

Who the gently caress calls children "younglings"? Is it some sort of power autism combined with homeschooling, so that they've never seen human children before?

That's the worst thing about the prequels, and it totally ruined my childhood.

Anyways.

Han shits first (he is an old man in diapers).

they called them younglings so obi wan wouldnt have to say the words "murdered children" in a movie made for children

also i liked star wars a lot growing up but lo loving l at saying the prequels ruined your childhood

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:20

King of Internet: Nov 16, 2013; High King Internet of Internet

Milky Moor posted:

the CD star wars thread has been saying this for the past elventy billion posts

they unironically think the prequels are masterpieces because of it

Misandrist Duck posted:

I grew up in the Star Wars EU. I spent 20+ years immersed in it, knowing the how and why to everything that made up Star Wars. It was mine. SW knowledge was my (admittedly lame) super power. And now it's gone. I don't know anything more than anybody else who has seen the movies and it feels like... I don't know. Feels like I imagine a Jedi Master would feel if his connection to the Force just disappeared one day.

It makes me regret the absurd amount of time I spent living in a universe that wasn't my own. I used it as an escape and I shouldn't have. Up until today, I still did. And I shouldn't. I'm 27 years old and I know more about the history of Coruscant than the history of Earth. Or I did, anyway. It's time.

I will see the new movies, passively. When I have time. Maybe I will like them. Maybe my kids will. I always imagined I would be heartbroken if my kids didn't like Star Wars, but right now, in this moment... It just doesn't seem important in the least.

This used to be my universe.

Now it's Disney's "legend".

I can't help but think of all the useful things I could have been reading, could have been passionate about as a child, teen, and adult.

Is it time wasted? Is there a lesson to learn in all of this?

It doesn't matter. I think I'm done here. Those of you hanging on for the next chapter, enjoy the ride. I'm sure it will be great.

The Force will be with you... Always*.

*unless Disney decides it isn't

Lmbo

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:25

reallivedinosaur: Jun 13, 2012; Ogdober subrise! XDDD

Blast of Confetti posted:

they called them younglings so obi wan wouldnt have to say the words "murdered children" in a movie made for children

also i liked star wars a lot growing up but lo loving l at saying the prequels ruined your childhood

Why would you make "murders children" a plot point in a movie for children?

There's got to be plenty of ways to let people know Anakin is a bad guy now.

I don't get this trend of putting super grimdark stuff into stupid manbaby bullshit. I bet it comes from anime. Anime is always doing stupid poo poo like that.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:27

Crewmine: Apr 26, 2012

so will Han Solo be like a chaste monk who's never touched a girl as is the jedi tradition, or as he's the last jedi will he be teaching a free love version of being a jedi that's basically a weird magical harem

gotta be one of the two, no half measures.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:33

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

King of Internet posted:

Lmbo

"but sir this will invalidate reams of fantasy bullshit that tens of people have devoted their entire shutin lives to memorizing"

"if you're trying to discourage me, it's not working"

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:38

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

King of Internet posted:

Lmbo

he thinks he's gonna have kids, that's the real fallacy in his life

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:48

Maldoror: Oct 5, 2003; by R. Guyovich; Nap Ghost

Good diet and exercise pay off.

Carre Fisher, DOB October 21, 1956:

Denise Austin, DOB February 13, 1957:

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:52

Fishy Joe: Apr 19, 2005; Eat at Fishy Joe's

Maldoror posted:

Good diet and exercise pay off.

Carre Fisher, DOB October 21, 1956:

Denise Austin, DOB February 13, 1957:

I aint seen nostrils like that since the last time I bought one of those coconut monkeys in jamaica

# ? Apr 30, 2014 17:59

Stormfang1502: Jan 26, 2003; The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

Fishy Joe posted:

I aint seen nostrils like that since the last time I bought one of those coconut monkeys in jamaica

# ? Apr 30, 2014 18:04

King of Internet: Nov 16, 2013; High King Internet of Internet

reallivedinosaur posted:

it totally ruined my childhood.

lol did you have literally no friends

# ? Apr 30, 2014 18:56

youknowthatoneguy: Mar 27, 2004; Mmm, boooofies!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeK10F6iA8E

# ? Apr 30, 2014 19:39

reallivedinosaur: Jun 13, 2012; Ogdober subrise! XDDD

King of Internet posted:

lol did you have literally no friends

I care deeply about star wars and also star trek and anime, they are dear to my heart.

NuGBS takes every post seriously. Everyone thinks they're the only one shitposting. lol

Maldoror posted:

Carrie Fisher is playing the child of Jabba and Leia from her days when she was his sex whore.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 19:44

...of SCIENCE!: Apr 26, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Baller Time posted:

One of the subplots will involve Luke Skywalker hiding in a closet while using the force on Han Solo's impotent dick, in order to get the now bitter and sex starved Leia on board for new adventure.
What I'm saying is that you better get ready for a few years of jokes about the old age of these people.

Lensflare jokes totally didn't become tired and hackish 5 years ago when the first JJTrek movie came out, I'm totally looking forward to another few years of that. It's going to make the jokes about a guy who had his face reconstructed after a motorcycle accident and a woman who had major drug problems looking older after 30 years have passed look like high art in comparison.

That loving Sned posted:

It's like if everyone in the Duke Nukem Forever thread thought "SuperMechaGodzilla is right, this is a work of art!"

That's the exact opposite of what SMG said about Duke Nukem Forever, though? If you're going to carry on this weird years-long grudge against someone who writes funny reviews of movies at least base it on stuff the dude actually said.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 20:21

The Whole Internet: May 26, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

Raku posted:

Give Guillermo del Toro Star Trek now

# ? Apr 30, 2014 20:54

phobo: Aug 7, 2008

Star Wars is terrible.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:08

King of Internet: Nov 16, 2013; High King Internet of Internet

phobo posted:

Star Wars is terrible.

True...If ur retarded

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:19

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Star Wars? Lol why should i give a poo poo

Wake me up when they pay Abrams to make an X Files film

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:30

Setzer Gabbiani: Oct 13, 2004

Milky Moor posted:

the old actors are back, that's okay. i guess.

but no lando.

Due to overwhelming nerd screaming lando has been recast by idris elba

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:33

Spatula City: Oct 21, 2010; LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING

Attack the Block owns and this will not be anywhere near as good, but I am happy for John Boyega. :3:

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:34

Tezzor: Jul 29, 2013; Can't post for 3 years!

supermechagodzilla is a hack idiot

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:34

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

JJ abrams is really good at making mediocre stuff

Stuff you can watch without getting bored but ultimately it's just really fuckin unexceptional

# ? Apr 30, 2014 21:52

BOAT SHOWBOAT: Oct 11, 2007; who do you carry the torch for, my young man?

Zzulu posted:

JJ abrams is really good at making mediocre stuff

Stuff you can watch without getting bored but ultimately it's just really fuckin unexceptional

I was bored out of my mind in into darkness it's a lovely movie
. I hope this movie is actually cloverfield 2.

# ? Apr 30, 2014 23:58

DeepQantas: Jan 13, 2008; Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

Can't wait for the two hour review. Hope the movie is a catastrophic mess and not just kinda good.

# ? May 1, 2014 00:09

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

DeepQantas posted:

Can't wait for the two hour review.

literally the best thing to come out of the prequels

# ? May 1, 2014 00:11

BOAT SHOWBOAT: Oct 11, 2007; who do you carry the torch for, my young man?

if you don't think that the avatar sequels will be unquestionably better films than these star wars sequels you are a blithering retard

# ? May 1, 2014 00:28

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

BOAT SHOWBOAT posted:

if you don't think that the avatar sequels will be unquestionably better films than these star wars sequels you are a blithering retard

wanna see an avatar sequel where they get sick of the white guy and kick him back out of the tribe

# ? May 1, 2014 00:32

ijii: Mar 17, 2007; I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.

The old cast better just be making a cameo appearance, preferably through just voicing CG characters or else. :smithicide:

# ? May 1, 2014 00:50

DeepQantas: Jan 13, 2008; Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

Mark Hamill can voice Andy Serkis.

# ? May 1, 2014 01:30

King of Internet: Nov 16, 2013; High King Internet of Internet

ijii posted:

The old cast better just be making a cameo appearance, preferably through just voicing CG characters or else.

Yeah better be or else

# ? May 1, 2014 01:32

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 14:22

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

theyre old people so cast them as wise old people in robes

kind of like that wise old guy in robes in the first movie

# ? May 1, 2014 01:33

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