Sony PlayStation 4: dumbasses in this thread: "Fireman Sam is a dentist"

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Sony PlayStation 4: dumbasses in this thread: "Fireman Sam is a dentist"

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Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

BeanpolePeckerwood posted:

lol, i [lolling] loll'd aloud

I typo'd because I was watching Regular Car Reviews and it turns out I'm too fuckin' old to do two things. Wait'll y'hear ME wax lyrical about lovely games.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 02:53

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 22:38

Baggot: Sep 9, 2009; Hail to the King, baby.

BeanpolePeckerwood posted:

Quantum of Phallus: Imagine this: some beanpole games under the earth in a cavelike dwelling. Stretching a long way up toward the daylight is its entrance, toward which the entire thread is gathered. This beanpole has been in this dwelling since childhood, shackled by the legs and neck. Thus he stays in the same place so that there is only one thing for him to look that: whatever zelda game he encounters in front his face. But because he is shackled, he is unable to turn his head around. A 4K tv is behind him, and there is a wall between the 4K tv and the goon.

Quantum of Phallus: Some light, of course, is allowed to him, namely from the 4K tv that casts its glow toward him from behind, being above and at some distance. Between the 4K tv and the goon who is shackled [i.e., behind his back] there runs a walkway at a certain height. Imagine that a low wall has been built the length of the walkway, like the 1440p computer monitors that internet trolls put up, over which they show their memes. The images are carried before the 4K tv.

Quantum of Phallus: So now imagine that all along this low wall of computer monitors internet trolls are making all sorts of threads that pile up and go gold higher than the wall: goatses and animes and other memes made of stonks or doges and many other artifacts that goons have made. As you would expect, some are talking to each other [as they walk along] and some are silent.

Escobarbarian: This is an unusual picture that you are presenting here, and these are unusual posters.

Quantum of Phallus: They are very much like us humans, I [QoP] responded.

What the beanpole sees and hears

Quantum of Phallus: What do you think? From the beginning a beanpole like this has never managed, whether on his own or with the help by others, to see anything besides the memes and posts that are [continually] projected on the wall opposite them by the glow of the 4K tv.

Escobarbarian: How could it be otherwise, since they are forced to keep their heads looking at a Zelda game for their entire lives?

Quantum of Phallus: And what does he see of the things that are being carried along [behind him]? Does he not see simply these [namely the memes]?

Escobarbarian: Certainly.

Quantum of Phallus: Now if he were able to say something about what he saw and to talk it over, do you not think that he would regard that which they he on the wall as ed threads?

Escobarbarian: He would have to.

Quantum of Phallus: And now what if this thread also had a derail reverberating off the zelda game in front of him [the one that he always looks at]? Whenever one of the posters walking behind those in game (and carrying things) would make a shitpost, do you think the beanpole would imagine that the derail were anything other than the memes passing in front of them?

Escobarbarian: Nothing else, by Zeus!

Quantum of Phallus: All in all [I responded] those beanpoles who were chained to the zelda game would consider nothing besides the memes of the derails as the truth.

Escobarbarian: That would absolutely have to be.

Make this entire post the new thread title.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 03:39

MechaSeinfeld: Jan 2, 2008

my girlfriend is leaving me because I won�t stop describing things as beanpole.

�this is such a beanpole show�
�this ribollitta you made is beanpole-esque�

# ? Feb 9, 2021 04:55

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

I call it "the Allegory of the Basement Dweller."

# ? Feb 9, 2021 04:58

MechaSeinfeld: Jan 2, 2008

Quantum of Phallus posted:

�Gems� such as Duke Nukem Forever, Singularity and Fear 3

I�m genuinely considering buying Haze, I have this fascination with terrible console FPS games.

I�m gonna finish DNF ASAP and then move on to Killzone 2, which arrived today

Singularity is cool.

I�d be worried for you if you were tracking down copies of Darkest of Days or Rogue Warrior

# ? Feb 9, 2021 04:59

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

BeanpolePeckerwood posted:

beanpole indifferent to nintendo babygames. call me when nintendo makes a good animes and until that happens shove the babygames up your butt and around the corner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4YhSHj8blQ&t=174s

They hired Platinum to do it but still it's been like five years man!

# ? Feb 9, 2021 08:01

Quantum of Phallus: Dec 27, 2010

MechaSeinfeld posted:

Singularity is cool.

I�d be worried for you if you were tracking down copies of Darkest of Days or Rogue Warrior

Haha I had Rogue Warrior on PC, it was dreadful.
Never heard of Darkest of Days though 👀👀👀👀

# ? Feb 9, 2021 08:29

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

MechaSeinfeld posted:

Singularity is cool.

I�d be worried for you if you were tracking down copies of Darkest of Days or Rogue Warrior

Rogue Warrior is worth it for the amazing lovely upscaled cover art.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 08:46

Quantum of Phallus: Dec 27, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc7eLZqvwZM

*me when i see ten new posts in the thread*

# ? Feb 9, 2021 08:51

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Control + DLC being this month�s PS+, I loaded it up again

Shore is putty

# ? Feb 9, 2021 09:32

twistedmentat: Nov 21, 2003; Its my party
and I'll die if
I want to

I think i need to stop playing GoT on work nights because it end up playing until 4am. Though I do work at 1pm, so its not that bad, its still omg this game is so good, there's cool stuff everywhere and always more Mongols as Murder Hobo Jin's blade hungers for invaders blood. It's been a really long time since something that wasn't a 4x game engrossed me like this. I'd say HZD, but that had towers and maps that would unlock the map, GoT you just have to run around to uncover the map yourself. I need to pet all the foxes.

I even found a hidden quest tonight and the White Dye Merchant as well. Do flowers respawn like other resources? And sometimes the birb shows up and I have no idea where its leading to. At Golden Temple a birb flies around the central structure but that's about it. And I got over my hatred of the Bamboo Cuts and got a few of them done. They're still annoying but its one of those things where once they're done, they're done.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:19

Vikar Jerome: Nov 26, 2013; I believe Emmanuelle is shit, though Emmanuelle 2, Emmanuelle '77 and Goodbye, Emmanuelle may be very good movies.

Cdpr just got ransomed wared. Or "capcomed" as i like to call it these days. Nothing on the gog side or player data, but source codes for cyberpunk, witcher 3 and gwent. Expect modders to fully patch cyberpunk in a week.

Theres also emails and everything so uhhh hmmm... drama continues

Hoping to see the early versions of witcher 3 with the red inventory and that canned remake of witcher 1 and the first version of witcher 1 without geralt and witcher 4 deets. Gotta look on the bright side.

https://twitter.com/CDPROJEKTRED/status/1359048125403590660?s=19

Vikar Jerome fucked around with this message at 10:35 on Feb 9, 2021

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:30

Escobarbarian: Jun 18, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Who still uses the word �pwned� it is 2021

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:34

Quantum of Phallus: Dec 27, 2010

code:

! ! ! ! Hello BP ! ! ! !
Your have been EPICALLY pwned!!

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:37

Vikar Jerome: Nov 26, 2013; I believe Emmanuelle is shit, though Emmanuelle 2, Emmanuelle '77 and Goodbye, Emmanuelle may be very good movies.

Tbf, it should come back

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:37

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

Dewgy posted:

You say this now but you also didn�t get into Bloodborne at first.

I�m giving it two years tops before you try Yakuza 7, love it, and then marathon your way through half the Dragon Quests.

It is very possible.

However, with Bloodborne I stopped after getting past Father Gascgoine.

In regards to turn based jRPGS I have started an absolute ton (including Persona 5, FFVII, FFVI, Chronotrigger, Earthbound, Pokemon) and even the slow combat style rpgs (Baldur's Gate, Torment, Fallout 1 and 2, Star Wars KOTOR) and I completely bounce off of them.

I think it is just not something I am very much into, which is a shame considering how loved a ton of those games are and how I would like to get along with them.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:41

Escobarbarian: Jun 18, 2004; Grimey Drawer

I plan on trying Yakuza 7 once I eventually finish the others but I�m not gonna actually buy it until I�ve finished them all so it�ll be cheaper and if I bounce off it I won�t have spent as much.

Veeg maybe u should do a Dark Souls Tuesday today

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:45

MechaSeinfeld: Jan 2, 2008

Quantum of Phallus posted:

Haha I had Rogue Warrior on PC, it was dreadful.
Never heard of Darkest of Days though 👀👀👀👀

oops not a PS3 title! My b. I was mainly on pc around then so that whole generation is a blur to me. I�ll recommend the mediocre Aliens vs Predator game and Syndicate. also technically not a fps but my first PS3 game was Wanted, a perfectly average title. you can curve the bullet just like James McAvoy

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:46

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

Escobarbarian posted:

I plan on trying Yakuza 7 once I eventually finish the others but I�m not gonna actually buy it until I�ve finished them all so it�ll be cheaper and if I bounce off it I won�t have spent as much.

Veeg maybe u should do a Dark Souls Tuesday today

You know, it sure has been a while since I last clubbed some baddies. I am in the garden by the crystal giants...

Oooh, I am very tempted to Dark Souls it up when I get home

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:47

Quantum of Phallus: Dec 27, 2010

MechaSeinfeld posted:

oops not a PS3 title! My b. I was mainly on pc around then so that whole generation is a blur to me. I�ll recommend the mediocre Aliens vs Predator game and Syndicate. also technically not a fps but my first PS3 game was Wanted, a perfectly average title. you can curve the bullet just like James McAvoy

I have Syndicate! I love Starbreeze so I wanted to try it out. It wasn't particularly exciting but it was OK! I'll finish it some day. It runs backwards compatibile on Xbox so that's handy. I wish the Riddick game would work on newer consoles.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 10:55

Heavy Metal: Sep 1, 2014; America's $1 Funnyman

Bust Rodd posted:

I miss Trauma Team and all their incredible films

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GicYEjTdN8I

Troma is still around, their auteur the legendary Lloyd Kaufman still makes movies too. Good times for sure. I recommend Poultrygeist and Return to Class of Nuke 'Em High. And just watch some Lloyd Laufman interviews and stuff, he is still the greatest. Big fan, and air conditioner.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 11:15

BeanpolePeckerwood: May 4, 2004; I MAY LOOK LIKE SHIT BUT IM ALSO DUMB AS FUCK

Quantum of Phallus posted:

code:

! ! ! ! Hello BP ! ! ! !
Your have been EPICALLY pwned!!

i am not pwned! i am not pwned!

# ? Feb 9, 2021 12:17

Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

Heavy Metal posted:

Troma is still around, their auteur the legendary Lloyd Kaufman still makes movies too. Good times for sure. I recommend Poultrygeist and Return to Class of Nuke 'Em High. And just watch some Lloyd Laufman interviews and stuff, he is still the greatest. Big fan, and air conditioner.

Remember, Lloyd Kaufman helped Sly Stallone make Rocky (and cameos in it!) and gave James Gunn his break in the business with Tromeo And Juliet. Dude understands the language of film on a level most humans can only imagine, and is like the least pretentious dude around. He rules.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 12:47

Handsome Wife: Feb 17, 2001

twistedmentat posted:

And sometimes the birb shows up and I have no idea where its leading to. At Golden Temple a birb flies around the central structure but that's about it.

That means there's a headband at the top of the structure, but you may not be able to get up there yet. I wouldn't worry about it unless you're going full completionist.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 13:12

goblin week: Jan 26, 2019; Absolute clown.

man nurse posted:

Is this thread seriously in the �Nintendo games are stupid and for babies� phase

I think even adults can enjoy pathetically easy platformers

# ? Feb 9, 2021 14:27

Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

goblin week posted:

I think even adults can enjoy pathetically easy platformers

false

no one can enjoy them

# ? Feb 9, 2021 14:48

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

double false.

I love them and am an adult.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 14:51

Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

triple false

you are a meat popsicle

# ? Feb 9, 2021 14:58

Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

i love many things I do not enjoy to be clear

# ? Feb 9, 2021 14:59

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

quadruple false.

I am, and have said many times, that I am a sentient collection of cartridges, cassettes, DVDs, CDs, Blu-rays and usbs that acts like an ~~adult~~ dummy.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 14:59

fridge corn: Apr 2, 2003; NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN

I dont think I can enjoy platformers anymore because I am an empty husk of a human being

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:00

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

fridge corn posted:

I dont think I can enjoy platformers anymore because I am an empty husk of a human being

I am having a blast with Wonder Boy

I think platformers can still be ace. Maybe I should look into making the ultimate platformer. I always wanted to make a game. Platformer would be dearest to my heart. I love messing about in SMM2

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:01

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

I enjoy deplatformers, where you navigate the arcane and labyrinthine map of social media outlets to shame and discredit sex criminals.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:01

Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

quintuple false

this is what it looks like when you pretend to look like an adult or a fish i honestly havent really figured that one out yet but here I am posting because my hands and neck hurt from waking up early to play nioh

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:02

Escobarbarian: Jun 18, 2004; Grimey Drawer

I tried to play some SNES platformers on my switch last night and I didn�t enjoy any of them

I�ve played through Super Mario World and a healthy amount of DKC and others before but I just don�t seem to dig it at all anymore. Very excited for the 3D World rerelease though I will play it to death!!!

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:04

Casnorf: Jun 14, 2002; Never drive a car when you're a fish

Now y'got me thinking about what would constitute a deconstructivist platformer. Like a turn-based version of 1-1 that retains the precision but asks different skills. Hm.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:08

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

Platformers are great and i want more of them especially with quirky gimmicks.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:13

Vikar Jerome: Nov 26, 2013; I believe Emmanuelle is shit, though Emmanuelle 2, Emmanuelle '77 and Goodbye, Emmanuelle may be very good movies.

Escobarbarian posted:

I tried to play some SNES platformers on my switch last night and I didn�t enjoy any of them I�ve played through Super Mario World and a healthy amount of DKC and others before but I just don�t seem to dig it at all anymore. Very excited for the 3D World rerelease though I will play it to death!!!

same on switch but on their actual consoles with correct controllers i play them to death and love them very much. its weird. dont think its the joycons etiher.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:14

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Astro's playroom for PS5 is a platformer easier than the easiest nintendo game i have ever played and everyone of you loving raved about it for a month straight, lmao, you all secretly love platformers for babies.

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:25

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 22:38

Escobarbarian: Jun 18, 2004; Grimey Drawer

3D platformers for babies own

# ? Feb 9, 2021 15:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Sony PlayStation 4: dumbasses in this thread: "Fireman Sam is a dentist"

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