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Joramun posted:At least take us out to dinner first. We aren't just some floozies. Sophia and Joramun supped on chargrilled cheeseburgers with lettuce and relish, thin-cut french fries in lashings of salt, crispy battered nuggets of fresh chicken and a McFlurry.
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Apr 26, 2013 23:18
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Sophia posted:Every single person in this thread would go to bed for nothing more than a wink, a smile and a heartfelt reading of a Game of Bones excerpt and you know it! "We could erotically rub our genital scars against one another?" one Bad Thread poster whipered seductively. "Well," sighed the other, "if we really must needs do so, have on with it."
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Apr 26, 2013 23:20
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Rarity posted:Sophia and Joramun supped on chargrilled cheeseburgers with lettuce and relish, thin-cut french fries in lashings of salt, crispy battered nuggets of fresh chicken and a McFlurry. Please tweet this to GRRM so he may put it in his next work.
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Apr 26, 2013 23:33
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Rarity posted:Sophia and Joramun supped on chargrilled cheeseburgers with lettuce and relish, thin-cut french fries in lashings of salt, crispy battered nuggets of fresh chicken and a McFlurry. GRRM would put this into his next novel, but the Jets just did something and he needs to write about it.
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Apr 26, 2013 23:39
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He could write you into TWOW like he plans to do with Ros. Sophia Stark, the hidden 7th Stark child nobody knew existed and comes out of hiding as a major new contender to the Iron Throne. Her ambitions to emerge from the Game of Thrones victoriously are only held back by her preoccupation with a distracting new invention of Maester Qyburn's, a glimmering magic box playing adaptations of all her favorite Westerosi works of literature on an endless loop.
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Apr 26, 2013 23:42
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More importantly, it displays a wonderful sport where men throw a ball amongst themselves. This new activity serves as a level playing field between the humans and the Others.
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Apr 27, 2013 00:00
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Holy Calamity! posted:What is the thread title referring to? When this thread was writing A Game Of Bones, we may have been overly optimistic about how much revenue it would generate and some of us started talking rather enthusiastically of how we'd blow our earnings.
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Apr 27, 2013 00:10
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Sophia posted:Hang on I'm spooling up my egregiously hyperbolic fangirl waxing machine to unhinge myself all over your asses Don't stop, Sophia. 
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Apr 27, 2013 00:44
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Sophia posted:Hang on I'm spooling up my egregiously hyperbolic fangirl waxing machine to unhinge myself all over your asses gurm just beat off to this
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Apr 27, 2013 00:47
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nuncle jimbo posted:gurm just beat off to this The arousal of Sophia's unspooling rear end waxing machine was arousing. Sophia posted:Every single person in this thread would go to bed for nothing more than a wink, a smile and a heartfelt reading of a Game of Bones excerpt and you know it! But your charms are wasted on me, my dear. I lust after only one thing. Terrible shitposts from dumb assholes that are lovely butts.
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Apr 27, 2013 01:36
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:What are the Bad Thread's words? Absolute Fat poo poo.
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Apr 27, 2013 01:50
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And the Bad Thread's sigil is a fat pink mast rising out of a Myrish swamp. Diarrhea is cascading from the wetly glistening tip.
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Apr 27, 2013 01:59
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Threw up in my mouth a little. And pants (in the front). Congrats Rarity, on your first good joke!
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Apr 27, 2013 02:03
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SaviourX posted:Congrats Rarity, on your first good joke! Oh god I'm becoming a Bad Thread poster 
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Apr 27, 2013 02:37
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Sophia posted:"GRRM's A Song of Ice and Fire series has dialogue that is miles beyond any other fictional work," says person who has never read a another book in their lifetime. "Deep characterization! Realistic tension! More descriptions of food than the entirety of Better Baking's back catalog!" raved the completely blown-away man after finally reading his first literary work without any accompanying pictures. "Two thumbs and my penis way way up!" I can buy his comment if he meant to use the word "fantasy" rather than "fiction". Because ASOIF is miles ahead of most other books in its genre in terms of its prose and well everything. e: wait not everything.  is still creepier with his fixation on rape and objectivism.
Ginette Reno fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Apr 27, 2013 |
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Apr 27, 2013 03:13
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Rarity posted:Oh god I'm becoming a Bad Thread poster Gooble gobble, we accept you. ONE OF US.
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Apr 27, 2013 03:25
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Vigilance posted:e: wait not everything. This man rapes things into objects. GRRM would like to look down and see his feet. Discuss.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:13
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Gooble gobble, we accept you. Now for phase 2. Rarity, do you want to call dibs on any chapters in the upcoming BESTSELLER A Storm of Schwanz? We'll be adding new POV's like: Samantha Gamgee: the morbidly obese comic relief gal-pal of Jen Ice. Burstin Salami: disgraced Emperor's Guard, now sworn to Demi Turduckyen Yarasha Gayjoy: sister of Thelonius Gayjoy, heir to the Copper Islands Dago Semenworthy: called the Ruby Starfruit knight, Fist of the pretender queen Stella Bartholomew.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:14
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Jamie Lanitor: I have no right hand and I must fist.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:22
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James Lincolnshire, I believe it is.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:30
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Lincolnshit. Y'all missed an obvious one there.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:32
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Vigilance posted:I can buy his comment if he meant to use the word "fantasy" rather than "fiction". Because ASOIF is miles ahead of most other books in its genre in terms of its prose and well everything. I don't think ol Gurm is as much of the goon that he's made out to be. The rapes and the shock factor is there, but that's not missing from any historical period and it was a part of literature way before the Victorian era skewed our understanding of the past (and present). How many rapes, mutilations, or rapes followed by mutilation are in the Bible, for starters? It's the same thing with the Lemoncakes. You look for it, it's there, but it's not distracting if you know what kind of book you're getting into. It's true I haven't read any fantasy series other than Dune, but if that's any indication, it probably isn't exactly the most risqué genre around. Some of that realism needed to be there in the book and the reaction is more confusing to me than anything. What was it a few pages back where Dany was compared to "a rape victim...Stockholm syndrome," whereas there wasn't really anything unusual about her arranged marriage when compared to actual arranged marriages. One of the reasons I've always stayed away from the genre is just the reputation of its penchant for preaching or relying on all of the day's tropes to make its heroes and villains. If there was some sort of objectivist/marxist/whateverbullshit-ist lean to these books, then I wouldn't read them. There isn't a class that is evil in these books. There's no way the typical goon would restrain himself at all when creating his own world.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:51
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Now for phase 2. Rarity, do you want to call dibs on any chapters in the upcoming BESTSELLER A Storm of Schwanz? What is a Schwa... No wait, I really don't want to know.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:54
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^^It's German for penis.stawk Archer posted:words. To which I reply The Pear Shaped Man and his creepy blogging about his sisters and the child actors of the show.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:55
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Rarity posted:What is a Schwa... No wait, I really don't want to know. I believe they deliver ice cream and other frozen foods to homes across the nation.
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Apr 27, 2013 04:55
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rypakal posted:I believe they deliver ice cream and other frozen foods to homes across the nation. Used to give me free popsicles when I was little. While I agree that the world-building in these poo poo books is pretty much the greatest example of any world-building in contemporary fiction, the dialogue is often miserable, pointless, stupid, and awful. That said, who's the better songwriter, GRRM or Tolkien? my cat is norris fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Apr 27, 2013 |
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Apr 27, 2013 05:14
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"Sticky Princes" "Fat Pink Mast" "Myrish Swamp" "She couldn't tell if he was inside her, or she was in him" "The sight of their arousal was arousing." "Tummy" -American Tolkien
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Apr 27, 2013 05:27
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Now for phase 2. Rarity, do you want to call dibs on any chapters in the upcoming BESTSELLER A Storm of Schwanz? Already disciplining her brother in my chapter.
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Apr 27, 2013 05:30
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stop insulting Terry Goodkind, he is no mere fantasy author, he transcends genre to weave a tale of people doing extraordinary things
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Apr 27, 2013 08:58
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The true fantasy genre starts and ends with Robert E Howard. Solomon Kane is a badass. 
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Apr 27, 2013 12:15
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:The true fantasy genre starts and ends with Robert E Howard. Solomon Kane is a badass.
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Apr 27, 2013 12:21
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:The true fantasy genre starts and ends with Patrick Goonfuss. Kvothe is a badass and sexes hot babes with magic penis powers. Fixed.
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Apr 27, 2013 12:29
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Ugh, no, no! That movie has hardly anything to do with Solomon Kane!  Go buy The Savage Tales of Solomon Kane off Amazon or something, partway through it goes from disconnected short stories to a bewilderingly awesome serial tale.
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Apr 27, 2013 12:30
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Like I have time to read the books. I'm too busy writing endless essays about the movie instead. La la la can't hear you, the source material does not exist!
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Apr 27, 2013 12:39
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:But your charms are wasted on me, my dear. I lust after only one thing. Terrible shitposts from dumb assholes that are lovely butts. The first published author since James Joyce to be more excited by butt egress than ingress.
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Apr 27, 2013 14:49
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In. Out. As long as a butt is involved, millions of GRRM fans will be there, pink masts glistening in unison so their arousal might cause others arousal.
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Apr 27, 2013 15:05
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Ugh, no, no! That movie has hardly anything to do with Solomon Kane! For gently caress's sake, why can't the Solomon Kane readers go to their own thread and talk about Solomon Kane without spoiling things?
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Apr 27, 2013 15:15
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Does Solomon Kane ever get dysentery?
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Apr 27, 2013 15:33
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stawk Archer posted:Some of that realism needed to be there in the book and the reaction is more confusing to me than anything. In all seriousness, if you haven't you should read this blog post for a very considered and non-alarmist discussion of what realism means and how real it actually is in genre literature / culture generally and ASoIAF specifically. Though the person who wrote it did not get far enough to delve into the Theon storyline which might have informed it differently, I think you might find it interesting (and again this is a serious post).
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Apr 27, 2013 18:45
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Rarity posted:Oh god I'm becoming a Bad Thread poster I knew I could bring you to the dark side. 
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Apr 27, 2013 19:38
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