|
I have to admit that my first thought when I saw that the wastes would show you ghosts of the recently deceased was that it was weird that we wouldn't see Liki because she had no portrait. I can't tell if Rask is lying about those guards or not but finally catching up to him has been a pretty big let down. It's increasingly funny how Thorn is viewed as a great man that seems to draw people to his command though in practice he's a violent buffoon who has been led by the nose by some sort of immortal puppet master that has more or less abandoned any effort to hide her manipulations. Hypocrisy fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Sep 30, 2019 |
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 03:41
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 22:26 |
|
|
I'm so glad that my advocating for blind trust in witches has turned out to be actually relevant to the plot of the game.
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 04:55
|
|
|
Lo Pheng and the Phantom Sex Offender When we last left Lo Pheng, Reet had suffered a vicious cutscene illness and we were trying to get to her wacky teleportation shortcut.    : You halt, noticing a small party of Gells on the road ahead. They drag a young, dark-skinned young monk behind them with a rope. The mountain dwellers trade in slaves, but no one in Frisia will buy a Temple servant.: "I don't think they're going sell [sic] the lad as a slave," Kendi explains. "More likely, they're taking him to a Gellian altar. They'll slit his throat, chant their songs and wash their faces in his blood. That's how they worship their gods. Shall we interfere?"  : Attack the Gells.  You all voted to use the girls, so they'll be showing up again. I just wanted to point out that someone thought this was an effect people were going to use. You can murder a party member and permanently reduce their stats for a -2 attack to all enemies. This is bad and if you use it I suggest taking night classes.  Unlike some people I could name, Lo Pheng has the fighting ability of an actual RPG hero and slaughters these morons with some help from the ladies.   This will go on Reet and never come off.  : The monk mumbles apprehensively, a silly smile on his lips. "My name is Alus. I'm traveling from menhir to menhir at the behest of the Temple of Divine Wrath. Do you know where these Gells were taking me?" Lo Pheng is not a good man.   : Ask Alus for help.Buddy, you can't say poo poo like "I can heal" and then NOT get called into this kind of thing. : You signal to Alus, who rushes to Reet and examines her. "Her life is on the line. She's suffering from a terrible curse. Even the menhir won't help, though I can't say for sure." Because I have the might of GameFaqs behind me I know to check the camp for - what, what the gently caress?  That's Ruor. We kicked him out of the party, so I can't field him as a combat unit, but why is he in our camp? Remember, this is the guy we kicked out for being a sex offender who escaped from jail. He's actually gonna talk about that, and that must be a time-limited conversation or something because I missed it the first time through.  Let's talk to the new guy. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with him.  Yea, no, some poo poo is going to go down. This being Ash of Gods, it's going to be grimdark and immature. Are you ready? I'm ready.  : So, how many menhirs have you already visited? Every one of these camp conversations has an option that will improve the guy or girl's morale secretly. I've picked them here, with the exception of Ruor because gently caress him. : Will you carry on with your pilgrimage? : I'm considering it. They say that when you're a monk, you're always on a pilgrimage-even if you never go anywhere. But I'm no longer certain I should pour blood on the sacred stones.As we know, this is a terrible idea that our enemies are doing for...some reason. : What can stop you? Huh, you don't see that every day in this game. : Why did you become a monk? : I don't see a collar around your neck.: Did you know that no Frisian monks are orphans? You want to know why? If I ran away, my entire family ends up facing the executioner.So this system is based around turning over your young children and hoping they don't make a break to get back home so you don't get killed. This is not very well thought out.   : Are you hiding anything from me?HERE WE GO GOONS!   : Is he strict?Picking the first option has Alus telling you to gently caress off because it's none of your business. Here, though...  : Why didn't you do it? Wasn't he your mentor?So if this is to be taken as insight into Lo Pheng's training, uh.... something is rotten on the Isle of Shadows.  : Well, pray that the gods grant us luck-when you have time.: What do you ask for when you pray? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
   : Everyone makes a living the best way they can. : You're making fine stitches, I see. : What else can you do? : I can't marry a foreign woman without the Council of Elders' permission. : If I offered you a finger, you'd take the whole arm, wouldn't you? : You're no longer a slave. : Banter is nice, but there are other things to do.: It's your life, Swarty. I wasn't thinking anything else. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
   : If you don't need hope, what do you fall back on? : What do you see from up above? : Our eyes are similarly narrow, but how else do we look alike? If that were true, Lo Pheng would have left Reet to die back there and Alus would be breathing his last on some godforsaken dark altar. : Where did you learn to fight? Shannet doesn't get the loyalty boost if you pick the lower option, making me suspect she's full of poo poo here. : Who are you then, Shannet? : Why would a Temple acolyte need such skills?"Also, why can't you use any of this poo poo in combat?"  : Were any of your ancestors Eikon? Taking the top option pisses her off and she tells you she's not going to be a brood mare, so let's gracefully back out here. : I don't really care about your ancestors. : Are you going to the Abode of the Humble in Raydona then?This is where Andra and Foshta lived.  : That's enough talk. I don't trust you, Shannet. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Let's get this poo poo over with.  We threw his rear end out of the party! He should not be here! This isn't me being cute for the LP, this is me being astounded that he glitched back into the camp.  I'm gonna be proven wrong about this guy's sex offenses not being mentioned in game, aren't I? I'm not sure I've ever seen this conversation. : What does the sea mean to you? : My isle is surrounded by the sea. : Sea water cannot quench thirst. Let's rip this band-aid right off. : So, you have a hard time without agreeable women? Oh boy, here we go. : Why would you cheat?This does NOT get you the loyalty boost, by the way.  That's...tamer than I was expecting? If he didn't have that line in his bio about cheating prostitutes I'd put it down to "lying about being rich", honestly. Still not sure if rape by fraud is the intended reading or not. : How did you plan to kill the Frisian commander? Lo Pheng is so full of poo poo if he picks the top option. : Weren't you afraid of his guards? : There's no reason to be afraid. Imagine you're rowing in the middle of a storm. You're drenched with cold water-your boat is about to flip over. When's the right time to be afraid? It's stupid to fear the storm before it comes-even moreso, once it's over. It's the same story with that commander's guard. I like that Lo Pheng is urging caution, despite being a bad enough dude to take on a Reaper AND his soldiers and win. Seriously, it's telling that he's the only tolerable protagonist of this game. It doesn't hurt that he doesn't map perfectly to a Banner Saga character.  : It's time for me to go. I hope that you see the sea again, Ruor.: It's easy as pie, Eikon. Pick any brook, and walk downstream. Sooner or later, it will become a river-and rivers flow into the sea. No problem at all!: What if this river flows into the Great abyss? [sic] TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
   : You know about this, too? : You'll be fine in Berkana, then. : It's still a long way to Berkana. We'll see what happens. I doubt there's work to be found during Reaptime. I'm wondering what to look for-a woodcutter's ax or a stonemason's hammer? : There are other wonders in the Great abyss. : Why don't you think up a solution?: I tinkered with one idea... You'd need to set up a crane with a pincer that folds its jaws together when lifted. That'd help you pull something out. You'd need a really strong rope though... and preferably no arrows stuck in your back. Forging such a pincer isn't a problem. : You served in the army, didn't you, Dume? : Were you lucky, Dume? : Maybe we'll chat later.: I want you to know that I hope you reach Berkana, Dume. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
   : What if someone else uses your potion?And on an unrelated note, why are you making this potion in the middle of the wilderness?  : Where was your mother from, Bolla? : (Wistfully) I know very little of her. I believe she was a slave from Gebona, but the Gebonans sold her to the Gells. So, I won't look for family roots in Gebona. A clean past leads to a clean, new life.: What if someone recognizes you in Berkana? : Where did you learn to wield a spear? : Was it a soldier who taught you?: (With a sigh) It was an old man... a Frisian veteran. I rented a room from him. I didn't bring company there, of course. I cooked him meals in exchange for lessons. I was taken... when he died. : What else can you do? : I'm sure you'll attempt to later.: (Eyes glistening) That's what I'm hoping for. Not just for hardship's sake-but to have a living being that reflects my affection. Do you even understand what I'm talking about? drat, she just hit Lo Pheng below the belt and doesn't even realize it. : Well, good luck to you, Bolla.: (Smirking) I could use some luck...and patience. A girlfriend of mine taught me to be patient. "Imagine being trapped under a rockslide," she said. Part of you can't help but rejoice at still being alive. Although, truthfully, more often, I felt myself stuck under a filthy sack. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
  Lo Pheng, no.  : Your fighting style is unusual...for a Frisian. : How did you manage to escape the ranks of temple harlots?This is gonna be stupid, isn't it.  : How much did you bet? And where did you get the money? So yes, the Temple servants are so evil that they enjoy torturing black ladies more than white ones. I don't even know how to respond to this, this is some Terry Goodkind levels of subtlety here folks. : What got you into trouble? : The heart wants what it wants. : Oh, you can tame the heart. I just didn't want to. I grew too comfortable and got soft. What good would another stinky hog do me, after all I've been through at the temple? His wife betrayed me. It turned out that she just wanted to get back at her hubby for favoring me over her....You know, given the writing of this game, I give it 50-50 odds hubby tried to get both of them to join him at once. I'm just saying. : And she got back at him. : Are you of Vandil or Frisian faith? : You're a free woman, I see. : Nice talk...: I want you to know that I'm relying on you, Kendi. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
*TGEK note: This is terrible, but it's literally what he's saying. Ramlin, Alus, and Kendi are all "Vandils", and they're all black. Just wait till we meet the cannibal dude.  Lo Pheng wants to take her to his Council of Elders, if you know what I mean.   : So the Qimra resemble Enses in many ways? : All warriors belong to one tribe or another. : (Calmly) An inscription on our temple wall says that the Reapers will come first, then the Enses, and lastly, the new people. Who are these "new people"? Where will they come from? : Where are the Qimran cities and villages located? : What makes you restless? : You've come by the nickname before! Some people call the Qimra "restless nomads". We're restless because we're waiting for the end of the world. Our tribemother, Harga, predicted it, and the past Reapings signaled the same.: Why worry about things beyond your control? Why live in the shadow of a seven-hundred-year-old prophecy? The Reaping may flay this world, but can do no worse. : Where is the matriarch of your clan buried? : How did she die? So yea, Reet here is descended from one of the twelve suicidal people from the intro. Why they didn't just stab the Reapers with those daggers is beyond me.  : You're not going back to your family, are you?: You might say that I've already seen my family, and am now going where I want... where I ought to.: "Want to", or "ought to"? : I have no further questions. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
I actually kind of like these conversations. They're not super deep or anything, but they actually tie together thematically - the women are trying to find themselves, while Lo Pheng is warming up to them and starting to question some of the things he holds dear. You'll notice he's much less wary about "oh no, I've talked too long and strayed from the way of peace", and is actually encouraging certain characters rather than his usual spiel of "you will be useful to me". If only the rest of the game was more like this... Anyway, we don't get very far down the road when we have an encounter.  Tell me these are the actions of an emotionless killing machine, come on.  You're a good man, Alus.  : Ask Reet how you can save her.  : Reet closes her eyes. Her body becomes leaden. You feel the strixes in the Eikon patterns searing your flesh. The most sacred, of which she wasn't supposed to know. The closest-guarded secret of the Shadow Clan. Reet's voice echoes in your head... Decisions lie before us! What do we do? Keep in mind, giving her our ancestor stone is a betrayal of our clan, but per her words it is the only thing that can cure her. Choose wisely.
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 05:59
|
|
Right in the feels. Bye, Bolla.
|
Stone the woman, what's the clan ever done for us?
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 06:45
|
|
|
Give her the stone! Time to break free of the ancestors.
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 07:40
|
|
|
Give her the stone
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 14:18
|
|
|
Giver her that stone
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2019 23:28
|
|
|
Well, at this point the decision is made. I assume other Eikons will be chasing us down now. I wonder if this game is cruel enough to make them as strong as Lo Pheng. Kind of a fortunate glitch for viking man. Glad he's just scummy as opposed to maximum edge.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2019 01:24
|
|
|
Lo Pheng and the Woman Who Really, Really Wanted His Magic Rock When we last left Lo Pheng, Reet really wanted him to put his magic rock inside her. The thread was unanimous in support of this decision.   AW YISS  A dialogue scene that doesn't have two characters with weapons alternating PoVs! Oh, you thought I was talking about the vaguely sexual overtones? I guess those are there.   Next thing you know he's gonna be marrying a foreign woman without the Council of Elder's permission! What is this world coming to? Also lady you were the one calling for a miracle.   We get a free rest for a day, which loses us 24 strixes but heals everyone one layer of injuries. : When morning comes, you discover Reet in a much better state. She's still pale, and her hands still tremble, but there's a determined look on her face-her jaw, set. You suspect that she has much to tell you, but you're the first to speak. Wow, guys. You can't have an explanation mark "in a detached manner". This might be the worst use of the stupid stage directions yet.  : How do you know the secrets of the Shadow Clan? : (Looking to the side) Did she teach your ancestors the art of sword fighting? : You were saying something about a shortcut. : (With a cold smile) A warrior of peace is never in a rush. I've heard rumors of the Roaming Menhir, which the Shadow Clan consider fantasy. If they are indeed true, it would explain the fabled Qimran speed. : Are you acquainted with the seeress who knows the Reapers' secret?: Don't you remember what I said? There's one person who should know how to kill a Reaper. It might be that seeress. Someone is showing a bit too much emotion for a warrior of peace.  : A warrior of peace does not seek forgiveness.: A warrior of peace does not forsake his teachings, and you just did. I'm grateful for it. I didn't foresee the curse-when I opposed the Reaper, I hoped to survive.: (Matter-of-factly) What are you hoping for now?  We continue on our way so Lo Pheng can surrender himself, I guess?  : Try to negotiate.: You order your companions to turn in their weapons; but say when Eikons lose their weapons, they lose their lives-and you don't intend to die. You promise that you won't unsheathe your blade in the marketplace, even if begged to do so. We buy some poo poo!  This owns for Lo Pheng, because he's got a pile of health but never gets any natural attack boosts for whatever reason. We grab the rune of wisdom (+1 exp per fight), the emerald amulet (+5 energy) and the amulet and figurine that just break down into strixes.  God drat look at this terrible rear end card. : You back away from the merchant and notice some concerned looks aimed at your weapon. You decide to leave the market to avoid provoking the highlanders.Anyway, before leaving I check on my party to equip stuff, and...what the gently caress?  Ruor is back! Seriously, I have no idea how that happened. My guess is that the conversation triggered this somehow? I guess we're stuck with him, gang.  So I'm avoiding that middle area partly for a future rant about some stupid events, but mostly because there's an event that triggers there that loses party morale. Basically, Lo Pheng finds some dudes murdered and tortured an Eikon so he impales them all to death. Do not gently caress with Lo Pheng.   Yea...they're slavers who want to buy our party members. While I feel like half the thread would want me to sell Ruor, we don't get that option (and honestly, that's far too evil for my tastes and I call myself TheGreatEvilKing). We butcher the slavers instead, because they are slaving racist fucks  : You shake your head. "You talk too much for your own good. I don't know why Nakoma needs so much salt, but he'll regret his choice of supplier when it never arrives."  We get gold and strixes out of that and more importantly no morale hit.  : Intervene. Uh, what?  That was a waste of everyone's time. I guess that Frisian really wanted to die?  Like I said, gotta avoid the hot springs or we piss everyone off.   : Talk to Reet later.Lo Pheng doesn't just give women the rock and leave the next day. : Reet's shoulders shake with silent sobs, and she keeps looking back at the corpses you left behind. You remain silent. Everyone deals with their own grief; some burdens can't be shared. You give the Qimran about an hour to herself.: "I know that one cannot bring back the past", Reet says in response to your stare. "But you can still see it. One of the men killed near that tree was my childhood friend. He and his companion were murdered by Enses-the very people they came to rescue and free from their curse. Thanks for the silence, Eikon."Hold up, their what now?  You know, I'm pretty sure a warrior of peace is not supposed to be comforting people. But hey, our morale went up to 20%.  I don't even know.   I don't know why "oh my god looting bodies" is treated as this horrible thing now when we do it all the time. We just took money off those slavers we killed. Anyway, we want to stop Shannet here. : Prevent the looting.: You shove your sword into its scabbard. The woman stops in her tracks, looking bewildered. "This is a suicide of honor!" you explain. "Whatever this warrior is guilty of-cowardice, thieving, or slandering an official-he cleared his name before the gods. Sooner or later, Gells will come and loot the body-but we won't do it.: You can tell the woman doesn't understand. "The pendant on his chest and the satchel on his back are there for a reason", you continue. "The marauder who claims them, also claims the dead warrior's sins. He'll arrive at the gods' altar with a burdened soul. Let's not tarry." This gets us loyalty with Shannet. I guess she's worried about her soul as a weird murder prostitute assassin?   That ends this encounter, we get another one.   I guess this is supposed to be unease from approaching an altar of dark magic? Whatever, the one guide on GameFaqs says nothing about this.   I love this reply. "Yea those guys suck, why do you care?"    Let's go down the road. I want to fight a dark sorcerer or something interesting, because these encounters are boring me to tears.  OH COME THE gently caress ON!  I elect to just stay on the other side of the road, because I have a bad feeling "punish the brats" involves swords. : You stick to the other side of the road. It's too far for the bigger rocks to reach, and the smaller ones are no threat. You've soon left the thickest underbrush behinds, and with it, the jeering and the rain of stones. Blah blah blah.  Oh look, it's the cartoonish bad guys.  And just to reiterate, we cannot go a single update without finding a grammatical error.  : Organize a raid.Hey look, something to do this update!  : Search the rightmost tent. : Try to open the chest carefully. Lo Pheng is not someone to gently caress with. : Open the chest.   Why is Ruor still here?  Lo Pheng gets sent up to bait with Cloud Tower.  The Frisians obligingly surround him. One annoying thing about fighting Frisians is that all their melee troops are spearmen who can hit at 2 range. This means no counterattacks for Lo Pheng here. However, they can't hurt him through  CLOUD TOWER so that just means the girls will have to actually work. Again.This moron gets right next to Lo Pheng and gets hosed up.  The stupid thing about these sword guys (right next to Lo Pheng) is that they have the same buffing abilities as clerics and Ense sorcerers. I'm kind of amazed at the sheer lack of creativity. The Frisians are a religious faction headed by Reapers who are fairly hardcore in the sorcery department, so why they don't have military sorcerers is beyond me. I guess this guy is supposed to be a 4e style warlord, which hilariously makes him a better leader than Thorn.  Ow.  The outcome was never in doubt.  : Join the battle.: You prefer not to waste time negotiating and draw your weapon. The Gells look befuddled, but they hold their ground. Seems they were hoping for an easy victory over your insolent bunch.The battle itself is uninteresting but I want to show off something.  Look at this cheating motherfucker. The guy by Lo Pheng. This fucklord is still standing at negative HP.  Anyway, we can fix it.    It's morally gray ha ha!  Before we can get to the Triple Menhir and advance the plot, we get one more random encounter.  : Pour water on the poor fellow's face. : Bring the merchant to his senses.: You ask Reet for help and she uses some potions on the sleeping man. The merchant awakens a few minutes later, looking rather healthy.  I buy the strixes, as I actually like this party unlike the other two. We get one last encounter before the Triple Menhir, though this one is scripted.  Yea, we kinda did betray our clan to fill a foreign woman's gaping hole, huh?   : Reminisce. : The exuberance was mixed with horror. Could the Reapers feel the same? Shadow Clan wisdom says that the Reapers begin as ordinary humans, but the transformation overwhelms them with power and hatred. Why such hatred? They're not brought up in the way of Shadow Clan warriors.And this...actually works. Lo Pheng comparing his inhuman treatment to being turned into a monster? Struggling with betraying his ancestors to save someone's life? It's a pivotal moment, as while before he'd merely just harbored an awareness that the Shadow Clan had twisted him into a monster, now he's decided to do something about it and reach out his hand. Anyway we finally reach the Triple Menhir despite Reet's best efforts to be dramatic.  Remember the intro? You should remember the intro.  COME THE gently caress ON I DISTINCTLY KICKED YOU OUT  We attack because holy poo poo, Reet the Ense expert says it's completely pointless to talk. : The obstacle must be removed, no matter what. You draw your weapon and walk straight toward the Enses. They stand still, staring at you. Clearly, they have no intention of charging. I send out Ruor because why not. He is literally exactly the same mechanically as Gleda. Why a spunky tomboy has the same combat stats as an experienced Viking pillager is beyond me, but I suspect it rhymes with "the Blash of Odds developers love Maisie."   Yea, everyone has 1 wound but that doesn't matter right now.  So uh, that assassination subplot went nowhere. : You step on a witchblade shard. The swords have lost power with the deaths of their outlandish wielders. Unfortunate-they would have made fine trophies. : "You do not have much time", you say coldly. "I would not concern myself with the wounded. You promised me a shortcut, remember?": "I remember everything, and I will not forget," she says, frowning. Didn't we just have one of these?  : Why should I trust it?This is an excellent question, considering that these monsters spill the blood of children in dark rituals.  Please tell me this isn't going where I think this is going.  Oh look, a typo that makes the sentence mean the complete opposite. Professionally edited?   Yup. The Enses are evil because they are under magic mind control from the evil church. I would compare this to actual literature, but the closest parallel I can think of it's Blizzard's shittastic writing for World of Warcraft. Enemies aren't evil because they're bad guys or are extremists trying to carry out a greater good, but every boss is "corrupted" and thus no one is responsible for their own actions. It's extremely poor writing because ultimately the conflict means nothing. : You can recruit an Ense that has not yet lost its mind?"Can we get one of those warlocks who cast that Pillar of Ash spell? That would be real dope".  Actually, poo poo, we are next to a menhir! This shouldn't work! Also Lo Pheng's blink makes him look like he's had enough of this poo poo, as have I. You deserved a better game, my friend. : You are a great sorceress. "And modest too!" Though there's part of me wondering if she's not trying to impress Lo Pheng here. : Where did they come from? : Why do they wear the masks? : It is your responsibility now.: (Incredulously) Yes. Mine and mine only. The Qimra descend from Enses. We're children of incest. Khama brings fresh blood. An Ense's lifespan is short. In two or three years, Terminum will devour all of them that still live. Someone is jealous, I suspect. Did the magic rock mean nothing?  The other options just piss her off, so... : Yes. It is not my concern. : (Indifferently) I wish to speak to it. Keep in mind, I sense dishonesty easily.TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Let's go talk to Khama.  So what we have here is...a white man with ginger dreadlocks, wearing a Freddy Kruger mask who apparently had his nipples ritually scarred off. What the actual Christ. I can't fault the devs for a lack of creativity here, at least.  : Why do their swords not obey us?: The Ense listens to Reet's translation and speaks several words in reply. His voice is odd-too soft for a man. : How do they get here?: The Ense listens to Reet's translation and gesticulates in surprise as he replies. : Why are they here?: Khama seems to guess your question before Reet can even translate it. So...they're invading to steal the land of the Terminum people by offering the blood of little children to their gods, but it's OK because they're mind controlled by the evil church controlled by fallen angels. A translation: Instead of a real conflict with stakes or ideas, we're up our own asses in genre trivia. : I have no further questions.: Khama starts speaking almost immediately. Pressing a palm to his chest, he points at your companions.: He claims that I lifted a veil from his eyes and that the skies were ablaze in his homeland. It could happen here as well. He hopes to stop some of his kin, and he's ready to fight them if need be.: Why does it wear the mask? Aren't they under direct mind control, so this doesn't actually matter? We can't actually send him away and we would get cutscene hosed if we did, so... : Let it come with us. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Let's go talk to some sane regular people.  So not only do we not get the usual Dialog Zone (tm) but we were right there discussing how the Enses murdered little kids at the command of the Frisian church. Is our resident churchman gonna talk about that?  gently caress NO! This is Ash of Gods! : Alus shrugs timidly. "Yes I'm cured... I suppose. I just cannot get over walking side by side with death." : Ask whether the monk knows anything about a sage in the steppe.: Alus looks perplexed. "There's all kinds of folk in the steppe. Hard to tell whether someone's a sage or a man-eater. Thank the gods, I've never meet [sic] either. Though, truthfully, I can't say for sure about the man-eaters..." : You turn around and leave without another word.TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
  : (Irritated) A woman can't find a place to wash without being watched! I stepped behind the menhir, but Ruor was doing his business there. That man has no shame. He beckoned to me! : How is your neck?This gets us a loyalty boost because, well, we care. : (Crinkling her nose) It's no worse. It burns, of course. But the pain eased after I walked between the stones. They restored my strength, to be sure. When will the ulcer disappear?  : Just as lethal, you mean? It has taken us three tries, but we finally, finally got one on Swarty. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 I guess this is just one of those Offscreen Women Things, like Reet arrowing the Reaper.  : What was the argument about?  : (In a detached manner) You remind me of a peacock-fanning out feathers and flaunting. No flight nor flight. Doing everything poorly, but looking good doing it. : (Through her teeth) Just remember, Eikon-a crazed peacock is no less dangerous than a rabid wolf. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 So we can now talk to Bolla and get the other half of this catfight subplot. Why this is being introduced now is beyond me. It's not even great fanservice or anything, it's just dumb.   : I saw her lunge at you. : What did you tell her? : What happened to the ruby? Holy poo poo Shannet is loving nuts! She has that wacky guy's collection of ears and torture implements. : I have no inclination to fuss over you. : (In a detached manner) I shall do exactly that. The first option gets us the loyalty boost, so... : If you wish to kill, do it.: (Smirking) I'll take your words to heart, Eikon. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
  : You could stay here.This option raises loyalty. The third option pisses him off because he thinks you think he's a thug.  : (In a detached manner) Whatever you do, the choice is yours.: If you are coming with me, get ready. We leave soon.: Don't take much these days. Straighten my clothes, tighten my belt. That's it. I'm ready.: I can't help but wonder if what they say about menhirs is true... If someone is ailing, they should walk between the stones. Obviously, you should not touch them. Like patting a rattlesnake, it is. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Oh, goddammit.   : What's wrong with the Frisian Road? : What scares you about the Hungry Path? : What's wrong with the Pilgrim's Path? : Choose the way and we'll follow. We can take either path before the Frisian legions arrive-depends on where you want to end up. However, the destination is of no consequence in the company of such beauties. Nor is the direction.: Do you know of a shortcut through the steppe?  TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Did you get the big hint?   Walking through it again just gets us this.  Anyway, now we can leave. This could be interesting, we're about to meet a magic sage in a desert and -  COME THE gently caress ON! Anyway, no vote today, but I have something else to announce. Ash of Gods Fanart Contest! Your assignment is to depict the most 'Ash of Gods' moment in the game. One moment in the game that you feel really sums up the game as a whole. The rules: -Images must be safe for work. -As funny as it would be, please don't just post the title screen for The Banner Saga. -Images must be drawn or photoshopped by you, but MS Paint is A-OK. The contest will run till October 31st, at which point the winner as arbitrarily decided by me will get a free forums upgrade of their choice. Go nuts, goons! TheGreatEvilKing fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Oct 6, 2019 |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 02:47
|
|
|
well, I'll start us off I'm sure no one will be able to top this in terms of artistry (if you can even tell what it's supposed to be)
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 06:08
|
|
|
Yes, and I'm giggling uncontrollably at 12 am realizing what it is.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 06:20
|
|
|
How'd random dudes kill an Eikon?
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 15:51
|
|
|
I give you, the pointless misery that ash of gods delights in. not even, like, good pointless misery, like in banner saga I'm inordinately proud of getting the right shade of reddit grey for fill purposes first try. that's all the actual effort I felt like putting in
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 16:50
|
|
|
Hypocrisy posted:How'd random dudes kill an Eikon? I don't think he was a warrior of peace like Lo Pheng. I assume he was a less hardcore warrior and they ambushed him. Remember, a warrior of peace is the most hardcore of the Eikons, so Lo Pheng is pretty drat hardcore. I'm already gonna be having a hard time judging this fanart contest, I can tell.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 17:39
|
|
|
 We go with "Get screwed eventually" because option 2 is really bad.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 21:17
|
|
|
fluffyDeathbringer posted:I give you, the pointless misery that ash of gods delights in. not even, like, good pointless misery, like in banner saga lmao!
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 22:03
|
|
|
the virgin ash of gods: dispenses suffering, wickednes and injustice like a drive-by shooting, throws blunt-force homophobia-facing gay priests and aristocrats-level torturer enses with no setup or followup at best and with direct contradictions at worst the chad banner saga: builds up to its gut punches through mounting hope and foreshadowing either in the plot proper or in overarching character development, makes the varl race's inevitable extinction part of a whole rather than an attempt to be Mature and Serious for the sake of it
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2019 22:52
|
|
|
Hopper Rouley and the Pointless Waste of Everyone's Time. Last time on Ash of Gods, we abandoned the only passable storyline to go back to Hopper.   I apologize, but the game threw up a dialogue screen and removed it so quickly that I couldn't screenshot it. It was Hopper and Sheck talking about Hode's injury. It was probably rambling and badly translated anyway.  However, these guys will gladly furnish us with more Ash Of Gods exposition!  Earlier in the game posted:
So that sounds suspiciously like these are Treeg's men, but...  You know what? gently caress it. If the game can't keep this poo poo straight who am I to disagree?   : Do you report my every step to the cardinal? So Ake is holding a sword eternally despite not being a combat unit. It would be hilarious if he was just pretending to be dumb, but even that minor subtlety is beyond these writers.  : And did Coronzon give you any orders regarding the prince? : (With indignation) How could you even say that!? Coronzon may be angry with His Highness, but he's a cardinal, not a highway murderer! Do you really think I'm capable of something like this? I'd sooner end my own life. ..like rescuing the prince? Who would you call if not a great warr- gently caress it. : Maybe he's asked you to stab me in the back, eh?There's really no call for this as far as I can tell. Note that Ake hasn't said what the favor was. : (Astonished) Why would I do that? Well, if you made an attempt on the prince's life or something stupid like that, I'd do it without asking. But things being as they are... what in damnation? I did not sign up for murder! : Or does Coronzon have his own stake in this game?HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU WHAT IT IS! Earlier in the game posted:
 Really? : (Interested) Believe me, Ake. Some things aren't as silly as they seem. And the cardinal is definitely not stupid.  : Perhaps I should be going.: But wait... I've been meaning to ask, why did you send Stein away?: I never liked him. Odd and secretive, keeping to himself at all times. Truthfully, I've never trusted him and I can't understand why Prince Treeg forced him on us. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
  I want to comment on this but honestly the bad writing speaks for itself. : Neither, master innkeeper. I have a question. You know that I arrived in search of Thorn Brenin and discovered something curious. Tell me, how did he quarrel with his brother-in-law, Brann Vichti?Did we really need more exposition on this?   Many of the players are probably feigning interest too! Holy poo poo! We've covered this 50 times? Maybe we could ask questions about what the hell Coronzon is up to or why Gleda is spe- no?  : But Thorn's wife perished! There is no one to hold a grudge against!  TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Maybe this will be a worthwhile conversation unlike the other two.  Hode answered this...he clashed with his grandfather and had to hide...  : (Shrugging) Someone's been feeding you stories, I see. The prince claims that the king wanted to marry him off to an elderly and unattractive Gebonan princess, but I think the true reason is completely different.Oh boy! : (Nodding) That's what piqued my interest. High-ranking individuals don't often share the rigors of service with ordinary folk. And they certainly never do so in secret!Is anyone in the audience still asking these questions?  From a mystery standpoint, we still have no idea what is with this curse or these riddles, and we seem remarkably uninterested in making even the barest attempt to find out what is going on. : No surprise there. I would be more astonished if the young scion didn't go against his elders' will. Another mystery that will never be answered is "what is the king's name" and "why doesn't anyone say it". I don't particularly care about this, but it makes for a particularly artificial dynamic between these characters. : I see now, Prince Treeg made his base in Ursus to be closer to his son. And his son joined an Odalan company of young soldiers to keep away from his grandfather's spies... Look, I get it, intelligent characters are hard to write. Hopper is not intelligent. He is not questioning. He is blindly following these riddles because a known murderer told him to. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
What a waste of everyone's time.  Oh, I guess we are looking for Gleda now. Sure, why not.  : You take in the humble furnishings of a traditional Berkanan dwelling. "Could she have escaped through the roof or a secret passage within the house?"   We then get to search the house. I unfortunately cut our search off early, but rest assured, there was "humor" about searching the outhouse.    : Inspect the table. : Move the table. Oh, no...  It's another pointless riddle, boys and girls! You'd think if our mysterious witchy friend actually needed this stuff down to the point of being careless about revealing herself she'd just...tell Hopper what to do. Seriously. She has the leverage from that curse and clear goals that she refuses to tell the player about. It's a failing of the plot that we still don't know what the point of any of this is, but welcome to Ash of Gods.  But what if we just...didn't do that? Why do we trust this again?   I'm lost. Ok, Coronzon wants Gleda. Why are we telling Sheck? I thought we were officially hunting down Thorn for escaping from jail? Can anyone tell me what Hopper's goals are, or why we are doing any of this?  This makes sense because Hopper is a magic healer who tries to save people. The rest of it doesn't.  Is there a conspiracy to kill the prince we should know about? I'm honestly baffled.   Not pictured: woman. Maybe if you don't have the budget for more characters don't introduce them into the story?   We know that Unda is made up and Philia is actually working with Chila to do...things. We don't know what these things are or why we should care. Do you guys remember that there's supposed to be a plague going on right now that kills everyone without rare magic stones? The game doesn't remember.   : Are you saying she swapped a quick death for a slow one? Should we all bow down to her in praise? What are we to do? You did well, sorting out the enchantment. But how can we save the prince?   Wait, we do? Hold on! I thought this enchantment bought us a lot more time - gently caress it.  : You pull yourself together, and make a difficult confession. "I cannot destroy this enchantment, only transfer it to another. It will not cling to me, and even if it does, it might rebound to the prince again. One of you will have to make this sacrifice."That sure is convenient, Hopper. : Sheck smirks. "Why waste one of us? Let me bring some thug from the dungeon and use him. We'll even clear him of all charges and set up a monument for him... posthumously."  : Look at Sheck. : You nod to the warrior, showing respect. "As you say. All you need to do is touch my hands. The enchantment will do..." : You watch in shock as the old woman's body collapses to the floor. You can barely move your lips. "Did you see it? She grabbed me by the hands herself!"What a complete and utter waste of time. We didn't know Tante. There was no reason for the enchantment to attack Hopper other than to waste everyone's time with a stupid Sophie's Choice style dramabomb created by contrived genre banality.  : You look at the prince intensely to make sure that all enchantments have been undone. "Well, that's wonderful. I haven't taken a life in vain. Your prince will live... in better health than ever." Oh no, not the king the game scrupulously avoided naming or showing to us!  Finally.  Oh goddammit.  I thought Philia said Unda didn't exist? You know what, I don't care.    Decisions lie before us! Which way do we go, goons? Remember, we have some riddles: And if you do not burn out, carry it. Your path leads to the West. May you not shy away from tall buildings and may you remember old friends and ancient enemies alike. Also, Friga Also, the Fanart Contest is still open until October 31st! Depict the most 'Ash of Gods' moment in the game, and if I arbitrarily decide yours is best you get a free forums upgrade of your choice!
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2019 21:04
|
|
: (Calming down) Glad to hear that. The gods were on the Cardinal's side today, let's leave it at that. Bow to the scribe, Coronzon. He soothed my anger. But don't you dare talk back to the crown prince. As for you scribe...You should greet your future companions.
: Hasn't happened yet... Enough with the weeping. A pompous nobleman is headed your way. You met my request, so I owe you one. However, if you want to ensure my good will, I'd suggest you find Thorn and bring him to Opacum. I want to have a look at him. Oh, here comes Prince Treeg!
|
I insist we take the path to Two Geese Tavern.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2019 03:59
|
|
|
Hopper Rouley and the Writers Desperately Trying To Seem Mature When we last left Hopper, we were sending him to Two Geese Tavern for memes.  Unfortunately instead of an adorable goose relieving us of our possessions, we get more Ash of Gods.  Oh no, not the nameless, faceless peasants the narrative would never hesitate to dispense with if we could wring one more Traumatic Event out of it! : Chase the Gells.: Ake fells the slowest thug in the chase's first moments, evening the sides. You chase one of the thugs to the edge of the village, and into the forest.: The Gell takes you straight to his mates. They're all waiting for the raiding party's return. It's too late to do anything about it. The Gells draw their weapons and attack you.So this battle is only notable because of one reason: I get to unlock this skill.  With this I officially don't care about combat in Hopper's sections. Ever. Remember, Hopper's basic attack restores energy, he gets a +2 attack boost when he kills someone, and he has a life-drain attack if he ever gets in trouble.  This is half or more of the health on all these assholes. If this game's combat were good, I'd complain about it being overpowered, but quite frankly skipping all the combat in a third of the remaining game is awesome! It's kind of hilarious that Hopper and Lo Pheng are this good but Thorn is such poo poo.  As you can see, they could make attack spell animations for people like Reet, they just didn't want to.  As you can see this destroys everyone. It's great! All I have to do is kite like the intelligent and handsome man I tell the internet I am, pick off anyone who gets too close with my array of overpowered melee moves (that buff me) and spam flame blade until everyone's dead.  This is your mind on bad game design.  I'm not going to show off the rest of Hopper's levelups. They don't matter. Except for one encounter in the very late game, nothing is every a threat again.  : You inform Ake that you've caught your own Gell, making the giant warrior smile. The street is completely deserted-the locals are in no rush to shower you with gratitude. You and Ake exchange glances, get on your horses and hit the road again.You didn't return their stuff. Why would they be grateful?  I take us to the ghostly tower because we're looking for tall buildings.   The little pen in the corner means yea, this is a riddle. : Get closer. See the extra G makes it more fantasy-ish or something. : You have an inkling as to who might be responsible for such sophisticated spellwork, but you keep it to yourself. You introduce yourself as well. "They call me Hopper. Hopper Rouley. Might I take a look at those inscriptions? Perhaps I could help rid you of them." : Try to answer the question.I have GameFAQs, fool! You cannot stand against me!  Cause a paradox, shut down the robots. : They will hang me.: Gregg nods. "Now tell me how you arrived at this conclusion. Could be a lucky guess." : The mage laughs and makes an inviting gesture. You enter the tower without further ado.  So at this point I'm honestly not sure why Chila doesn't just show up and tell Hopper to do stuff. She has the leverage, he's already cursed. This is just pointlessness for the sake of seeming deep and mysterious but actually being time-wasting and stupid.  Off we go!  We get this about three times during this update. You've seen it before. We give in. That gets us more skill points, but again, we are nigh-invincible right now.   : Investigate around here.   Moving on.  : "So it seems," the giant says, surveying the dead. "The bastard wasn't hanging from his neck, but from his collar! I tried to help, but there was no noose to free him from! He almost stabbed me! And then he tried to hide in the bushes. He hasn't gone far though!"    : Ask what needs to be done. : Offer to examine Ake's back.: "Are you a booklover or a healer?" Ake asks, suspiciously. "You want to put an enchantment on my back? What if it falls apart, like the Albius town hall?" I want to point out that this isn't gay, not because I'm opposed to the idea of these characters being gay but because the writers so far are 0-2 on writing gay characters without some horrible tragedy related to their sexuality. If this were gay, Ake would be relating some horrible trauma by now.  : Amused by Ake's complaints, you make him lie down, roll up his shirt, and rub his back with pine tree ointment. You run a hand along his mighty torso, carefully realigning the troublesome vertebrae. Soon, Ake is able to climb into the saddle all by himself, and you continue your journey.  : Tell Ake about the old religion of Terminum.The sad thing is we know from Alus that's not even a tall tale.  : Ake grows pale, aware of the terrible punishment awaiting anyone who so much as mentions that name. However, curiosity gets the best of him and he begs you to continue.If no one is supposed to know about it why does everyone know the punishment? That ensures everyone knows the name (so they can avoid saying it).  : Ake mulls things over. "So, what's the wisdom in this fable?" he asks. "Or is it not a fable? If it wasn't a man, but a god, why did he return again and again? Why didn't he punish the villagers? And what was the village called?"   We make it down the Reckless Path and take this route, because oh boy do I have sights to show you!  This is the place where you can see ghosts, if you remember.  Remember from the intro? Earlier in the game posted:: Say that these are the effects of the sorcery.: You shrug. "It happens, Ake. But such things usually happen when I perform basic magic-like driving the bedbugs away from a dwelling or healing feet lichen. The Ashen Wasteland is a special place. It's like sitting near an open furnace-your face reddens whether you like it or not." : Tell Ake about yourself. : Ake laughs dismissively. "Do you mean that's the Curro? Stop yanking my chain. It's been a thousand years! Understand? A thousand! There are no Curros left now-only some distant relatives perhaps. Did they have any children?" So, yeah, Hopper used to answer to the gods but is also possessing some poor dude. Now, this is traditionally an ability exhibited by demons. Draw your own conclusions!  : Join the battle.  Our good friend the Ense warlock shows up again.  He never gets a turn.  On what planet is four dudes an army?  While a demonology cult is completely unoriginal maybe something interesting will happen. Like a secret demon fight or something awesome. Please?  Uh, when I said "something interesting", I did not mean "Hopper confesses to murdering a mentally ill man to steal his body." Let me repeat that. Hopper murdered a mentally ill man to steal his body. After that poo poo I don't know why he thinks he has any moral ground to stand on.  : Reminisce. Uh, what the gently caress is a Calz?  WHAT THE gently caress HOPPER NO. :Join the battle.  Next!  So yea, Hopper is a murderer who steals people's bodies. No, we're not done with these writers' grimdark pit. This update is gonna get worse.   : Dwell upon your memory.You all are going to sit through this with me. : You close your eyes, remembering the green valley and your small squad. Rask waves his hands, laughs and whispers that you shouldn't worry about the small things. If a master like Orkan says that you'll succeed, then you must succeed. You'll have a powerful weapon! Your strength will equal that of the Reapers-or at least be enough to be dangerous!  What does "Things given will return, and the power will rise, but the spirit will dissolve" even mean?  So yes. Those stone knives at the beginning? Intro posted:Every single one was forged by the murder of a child. This is supposed to be heavy and dramatic and a terrible sin but it's really just a contrived variant of the heavily contrived trolley problem. Realistically it's incredibly rare that murdering a small child is ever going to be the right thing to do - children are smaller, take less resources, and are easy to subdue if you need to stop one from running off to go turn you into the Nazis or something. It's also very strange to compare with the self-sacrifice of all these guys murdering themselves - permanently - which is usually the mark of a selfless character or someone atoning for something terrible. The sacrifice IS usually what powers this stuff, mostly in Christian allegories like Narnia or LotR where Jesus' sacrifice allows the characters to overcome a terrible foe. Not only is this incredibly thematically incoherent for the sake of wringing drama out of this chapter, it's not even the worst thing that happens to children in this entire update.   THIS NEXT ENCOUNTER IS INCREDIBLY STUPID. I PRESENT IT IN ITS ENTIRETY, UNEDITED   : Refuse.  : Accept the will of your master.     That deserves some discussion. I'm not going to lie, as soon as I saw Dorpkhal eating the kids I burst out laughing. Not because I find injuring children funny, but because this game has literally sank this low for cliches. Remember this? Aurum Dust posted:Ash of Gods is a mix between a roguelike role-playing visual novel and an online turn-based strategy game. This is a story intending to show all the complexity and ambiguity of moral choice. Good people often become rascals while inhumans behave more human-like than humans. This is the story of “angels” who after being given free will turned the life of humans into hell in the absence of a god. This is a novel that shows you that no conflict has a right or a wrong side because even your enemies have mothers and children. This is a loving joke! The god is literally eating babies! I guess this terrifies even Dorpkhal, but we've already had two crimes against children this update (the murder knives and now..this). There is no complexity or ambiguity in this! Look, you can write about horrible unsympathetic monsters. There's nothing wrong with that. But you have to actually sell them. You can't just put a scene in with your villain eating a baby with no buildup. We just met this character and he just ate a bunch of kids while running around castrating people. There's nothing human here, and there's no reflection on that. The best villains aren't scary because of what they'll do to you, but they reflect what you fear you could become. Remember Yoda's cave in Star Wars, and how it showed Luke as Vader? That's a straightforward example, but we could use Macbeth (destroyed by lust for power), Ahab (destroyed by a desire for revenge which became a mad quest to oppose God) or even Medea (destroyed by her all-consuming love for Jason who was unworthy of it.) They all take some human flaw and go downhill from there. Conversely, you can have villains who represent a familiar evil, such as Simon Legree and his slave mastering ways being a thinly veiled stand in for usurping God. Or even the unknown, like the kids in Lord of the Flies or Kurtz in Heart of Darkness - and even then, their savagery is linked to a desire for power and freedom to crush all who oppose them. They're also built up. We never see Kurtz for the entire novel, but the characters are obsessed with analyzing him and reading his writings. Likewise the Lord of the Flies kids don't descend into savagery immediately but slowly get there as they realize more and more that they do not need to follow any of civilization's artificial laws. This is just stupid. We've never met this character, we've only had vague allusions to "gods" and now we witness that he's arbitrarily rounding everyone up, cutting their dicks and boobs off, and eating their children. The best comparison I can think of is Ed Gein, who is interesting as a true crime novel because his ghoulishness is just insanity. It means nothing. It is the ravings of a literal madman imposed on corpses. It will not surprise attentive readers of this thread to learn that this is the main villain of the game. Yes, we are meeting it now in an easily missable optional encounter. I'm ending the update here because it's late and that's enough stupidity for one day.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2019 09:12
|
|
|
Hopper Rouley And The Lack Of Pattern Recognition Skills When we last left Hopper, we learned he was some kind of demon that murders mentally ill people to steal their bodies. We also learned he used to work for an evil god that literally ate children in such a way that it horrified a Reaper. Unfortunately I'm gonna see this game to its end for you goons.   : At some point, you doze off. What comes next feels like a vivid dream, though you still see the same window-lit room and the old, but spry woman. She opens the door smiling, and nods in satisfaction. Remember, we traded Amma our Child Murder Anti-Reaper Knife for this.  So this guy is probably supposed to be sympathetic, but we just learned we was gung-ho about murdering children for power. Remember, he also hung around with Gleda a lot. : After hearing these words, you finally realize that you're awake and come to your senses. A quick look-around and you know that someone's sorcery is at work here. Realizing you've been hexed, you scramble to get your bag. The book is gone.  : My apologies, but I haven't seen any hag on the inn stairs. I've arrived after the spell dissipated. Where are you off to, Blance? And not alone, I see. Been accepted into royal service, have you?: Well, you haven't strayed so far from home by happenstance either, have you, Chirlan? You don't simply travel for the sake of it, do you? You rarely step outside your shop, especially in Reaptime. : Who is she?: Who knows? Although I've got a hunch she might be the Unda everyone's talking about. But something's off. Unda's so old, it's surprising she still lives. It's as if this hag only pretends to be Unda. SHE HAS GOLDEN EYES! Seriously, I don't think that's ever come up in dialogue. It's what makes Ake noticing the black eyes so weird - did he not realize Hopper had weird eyes and was being evasive about his abilities? Did the artists just...not talk to the writers? : You should be well aware that a name is only a garment. Take it off, if you will, and it loses all meaning. I've been considering this from all angles. All those who could be this crone died in that same battle which gave you your arrow-scars. And I've got no more ideas. No clues. : Why do you need me, Chirlan?: You should already know this. Some witch told me I could find you in these lands. And that you, too, searched for me. Should that fail, catastrophe may follow.Remember the stupid logic puzzle wizard who disappeared to give us the name "Chirlan"? It's like this is all the work of the same witch and the gears are grinding and these characters can't figure it out. The curse is connected to the Reaping, the book the witch stole is about...the Reaping. : Cut the mind games, Chirlan. My head aches even without adding your riddles. How does an old woman or witch compel you to look for someone? I don't recognize you!The same way a witch made you sleep while she stole your poo poo? It's clear the writers think that by establishing some deep mystery we're going to want to see this through to the end. We're supposed to figure out that Chila is doing things but not why, and that mystery is supposed to get us to the end of the game so we can discover what the plan is. It doesn't work because I don't care about these characters and there's no hope in this game. It's just pointless misery all the way down. : I hardly recognize myself, Blance. I've had so many thoughts lately. Got a job as an intendant at Opacum. Guided wagons through the Marsh road. I thought I'll keep quiet and survive the Reaping-but no, trouble found me again. From now on, we travel together. : What power do you mean, Chirlan? "It can't be child murder, because we tried that!" : I've already realized that. A new player has joined the game. Coronzon is seriously concerned about that. Seems like she's the one who managed to hold back the Reaping!: I don't care about that Coronzon scoundrel! And who knows if the Reaping is truly receding? What if she's not saving us, but seasoning us for the frying pan? There's something special about her! As if she holds some hidden threads... Or has some underlying scheme! Blance, I don't like it. : Enough conjecture. I've got bigger problems. : What a convoluted curse... Where'd you get this nasty thing? And why's it on your hand? What purpose? And why does it jitter? Is it... breathing?: Still haven't lost your aptitude, huh, Chirlan? Got this nasty stuff in Albius. Just near your shop. Some cunning crone left it. Now I'm roaming Berkana, trying to piece together a spell to cure me, among other things. : Well, let 'em. Why do you want to join me so badly, though? What's your aim? : Shouldn't I be asking that question? Aren't you the one who's supposed to impart the key words to me? For which I came here all the way from Ursus? It all led to you!: That's true. Dunno what book that hag stole from you, but I've also seen her. Not just in real life-in dreams, too. She seared something into my hand in one of those dreams. It burns and won't subside unless you read it. Let me just roll up my sleeve...So I just want to note that Rask connected all this poo poo to Chila unconsciously but Hopper is still acting like the woman who stole his book and the woman who cursed him are two different people.  : Ye gods! The writing's vanishing! Such a relief! What do these words mean, Blance? What are they?: I don't know, Chirlan. Need to think this through. But I won't be staying in the inn. Can't say I'd be happy about absorbing anyone else's sorcery. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 : You don't have to introduce Rask to your companions. They know the shopkeeper from Albius. However, everyone is surprised to find him in the middle of nowhere-and more so, that he's going to accompany you from now on. Oh boy, more cryptic magic bullshit!  : Thorn Brenin's daughter was waiting for him when he arrived here. Me too. It was the old woman who brought his daughter here, after all. There was also Philia - a girl from Ursis. I was asked to watch Gleda until Thorn comes. I know her from my time in Albius. Headstrong girl, that one!: So, Philia headed to Opacum and the old woman decided to cross the marshes. I was sure I'd never see her again, but when Thorn headed west with his daughter, that damned hag came to me in a dream.: She drew this drat thing on my hand and said something cryptic. I figured that there was no point trying to comprehend the message, only that I must relay it to you.: What did she tell you? And why do you think I'm the recipient of the message? : That's not much to go on... Is that it? Was there at least another word? Must I solve riddles again?: Well, life's one big riddle. She also said I need to accompany you. I'm asking, what did I do to deserve this? And she dismissed it, saying "the real trial lies in Friga." Or somewhere nearby. And that it spells certain doom for you.Gee, maybe the child murder?  TheGreatEvilKingSummary posted:
 Oh my god, really? "As if you were late to a meeting?" That's more of a modern concept but it's laughable bad. Hey, at least I missed any major grammar and spelling mistakes in these last two updates! Next time we go back to the worst characters in the game! TheGreatEvilKing fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Oct 19, 2019 |
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2019 18:09
|
|
|
Huh. The possessing spirit thing makes a lot of sense in hindsight for both umbra and reapers. Perhaps the way gods work with umbra are the way umbra work with humans? That's why umbra and reapers need to work such convoluted and indirect plans to hide the information from their ride alongs.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2019 21:56
|
|
|
Gregg does not rul ok
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2019 09:10
|
|
|
I'm also grateful that you're commenting on this so much because I wouldn't be able to follow any of this Engrish gobbledygook otherwise.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2019 09:33
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2019 10:23
|
|
|
Solitair posted:I'm also grateful that you're commenting on this so much because I wouldn't be able to follow any of this Engrish gobbledygook otherwise. So much this.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2019 01:31
|
|
|
Thorn Brenin and The Surprising Lack of Grimdark When we last left Thorn, he was headed to the White Tower to try to rescue his son Mact from the well known cannibal tribes of Europe.  Charlemagne, by Johannes Fried posted:People's lives followed the course of the sun; things proceeded at a sedate pace. Handicraft was in demand, and apart from mills, manual labor was not yet facilitated by any machines-hard work without a doubt, but on a human scale. The world was a placid place, time was not precious, and no one except fugitives from the law was hounded. The point I am trying to make is that "timely meetings" is a very modern concept alien to the supposedly medieval world of Ash of Gods. It invokes the modern corporate welfare setting where people get paid large amounts of money to work "leverage" into a sentence as many times as they can. Then again, this is one of the many "medieval" worlds that doesn't have Christianity despite cribbing heavily off Christian religious themes. It makes sense for the story they're trying to tell about the absence of God, I will grant that.  Off we go. This is the fastest path to Friga (I'm not sure if we can skip Friga and go right to the tower)  Here we go, a blatant moron trap. That's more like it, Ash of Gods!  : Ask the others' opinions about these will-o'-the-wisps.Anyone who's ever owned a D&D monster manual can tell you these are bad. I would cite mythology, but has this game ever used that? : Flitt shrugs. "There's nothing mystical about these lights. They're just bog-vapors that... happen to glow. The path they form is an illusion, and following them is a fool's errand." Back to the road...oh.  : Tell your companions about the captain.: Krieger nods and points in the direction of the burial as he remembers it. He adds, "We might as well pay our respects to the great warrior. It's not far, if you know the way." : Give up on the idea of desecrating the burial.This may look stupid when you see my strix count for the legion of caricatures I have accompanying me, but I really need the morale.  That said, I'm not sure I'd mind people robbing my grave if it was a matter of life and death. Oh well!  I'm not sure what that arrow is but I have my suspicions.  AN INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED MERCHANT! WE'RE SAVED!  You all voted no robbing. : Buy something. No strixes? Well poo poo. Um. All of his stuff is terrible. The herb bag lets you heal more on rest, but you should never rest with Thorn for reasons we will see this very update. The Mirror Shard is...eh. Paralysis stuns things for a round, and Burning Souls does...something that fucks you over just as hard as the enemy.  : Leave the feeble-minded man alone and move on.We don't get far before we get another random encounter.   : Lead your entire company to the rescue.Leaving small children to die is too evil even for me.  Oh for the love of gently caress.  Wow, even the kids are dicks in Ash of Gods.  Those fuckers! The thread voted to keep Ramlin alive! Anyway, my strix count is about to gently caress me over in three...two...one...  Well, Gleda is relatively uninjured and she also sucks, so -  Oh drat it. The thread voted to save Ramlin and kill Hode, but Hode's not here right now so we can't. I go with this:  If you'll notice, a lot of our characters are 1 hit away from death now. It's another reason why Thorn's party is so painful - your characters are weak and there are so many of them that you go through strixes incredibly fast. We probably don't need both Skoor and Vai, but I hate killing off PCs in video games. Sue me.  : A sergeant hails you. "Hey, where are you headed? Haven't you heard we're abandoning Friga? Name's Sieglif and I make sure everything goes smoothly on this road. So let me have a look at your papers, just in case.": You show him the papers drawn up by Rask. "What's happening over there? We're coming from Marsh Watch, so we're behind on fresh news." : You ask, "And what about Prince Treeg of Jerana?" It's the middle ages. News travels by horseback at best and you're not guaranteed to hear everything everywhere. We literally took the speediest route from where Hopper heard the news at its source and somehow it beat us across the weird magic wasteland to this random sergeant in the rear end end of nowhere. Come to think of it, wouldn't the Magic Necromancy Land be a natural border for the Berkanan whateverthefuckitis?  Thanks to that pointless exposition dump I have to reallocate my lack of strixes. Woo. We get a short cutscene at Friga, most of which I don't capture.  I still don't know why the game wants us to stop here instead of going right to the White Tower (there's a route to it that lets you bypass Friga) but maybe there's a store or something?  : Krieger swears. "Who wages war like this? No patrols! No guards! Gates open wide as a whore's legs! You could take this fortress with a dozen scouts!"The people abandoning the fortress? : You shake your head. "While Friga holds the road, the only way in is through the main gate. Still, there should be someone stationed here. Perhaps it's all hands on deck." Inside the city is...not much better.  : Eyes wide, Gleda looks beyond the gate, to the bloodstained mountain path that leads toward the forest. "Dad, that horn signaled a retreat, right? Why's that squad not withdrawing? The enemy is pressing the attack!" So maybe I should have had a vote on this, but I'm exercising my power as LP Tyrant to have us join the fight. I've never done it before and I desperately need strixes. : Join the fray. See every time I hit this fight I usually run out of strixes from trying to save all these assholes. This time is no different.  We're pretty battered!  I try the fight conventionally and it doesn't go very well. Have this shot of Thorn jumping like a doofus. So after a lot of time wasted on failed attempts, I just say "gently caress it" and pull out the Thorn Brenin circlejerk. I give you this knowledge so that if you ever decide to play this game you can just not give a gently caress no matter what route you're on.  As you can see, Thorn, Skoor, and Ramlin are going to sit in the corner having a buff fest in a totally nonsexual way. Skoor is going to use his healing spell to raise Thorn's HP so he can wander off into that crowd of dudes and not die. Ramlin has a dope spell called "loan" that can raise people's attack by 3/turn when upgraded, and thus is an important part of any circlejerking strategy. He spams this on Thorn every turn. Thorn sits there until he has buffs. In theory you could use his anger buff to raise his attack, but that drops his health and energy, both of which you kinda need. Just wait for the idiots to wander over to you.  Now we send out Thorn by himself. Unfortunately the bandits are not impressed by him being a legendary Baron Swordsman Liki-banger, so he's gonna have to jump up and down like a doofus. There are two ways to go from here: -Have Thorn use Fightback, giving him counterattack equal to his idiotically high attack stat. Then slap Spirit Armor or something on him so idiots wander into him and get counterattacked. Yea, that's one of the optimal strats in this game. -Have Thorn use his Jump Like An Idiot attack, which does a metric fuckton of AoE damage. Like, instant kill levels. He then gets damage reduction equal to a high percentage of his attack (I think 2/3?) which lets him shrug off piles of mooks. That's it. You don't care about doing Thorn's fights anymore. Remember to use buff cards to stall for time for idiots to surround Thorn!  COME ON AND SLAM! AND WELCOME TO THE JAM!    And that's how fighting with Thorn is going to be from now on. Also, my god, we needed those strixes.   As you might imagine, looking for Hederlig just gets him killed outside the wall. gently caress you!  : I am Thorn Brenin of Albius in Odalah and a captain in retirement. I'm looking for Prince Hederlig.One actually good characterization of Thorn is that he insists on being called a captain when he's also a noble with title.  Anyway, meet Hederlig. Hederlig is actually a pretty decent guy, and to my knowledge the only gay person in the cast who doesn't get completely hosed over for it.  : Why are you fighting among the common soldiers? : My people are exhausted, Thorn. We'll have to abandon Friga, but the refugees need time to reach Heiborg. Our fighting buys them that. Nothing inspires soldiers like their prince fighting alongside them.This dude has had one conversation, and he's literally twice the protagonist Thorn is. Can we keep him? : You could have been slain!: (With a smirk) Even princes are mortal. Had we faced a more clever foe, I'd not be standing here. I'm not one to cower and hide.I feel kinda bad for not intervening in those last two playthroughs now.  Holy poo poo! Even Thorn's realizing what a baller Hederlig is! I don't think we've seen Thorn respect...anyone really. Even the guys who fight under him. (I just checked out the window. No horsemen, 7 headed beasts, or lambs breaking seals. We're good!)  Seriously. Why isn't this guy a protagonist? He's noble (in the character sense), courageous, a good leader, people like him, and he's actually a beacon of hope in the shittastic world of Terminum. : Why is the siege so poorly organized?: I am no less surprised. I knew the Gells and Vandils were different to Frisians, but I did not expect to have to repel at random. It's as if someone is driving these bastards to die at the walls of a fortress they've no need of taking.: You're right. It's not a proper siege, and Friga will not fall. Something else troubles you though. Is it the Frisians? Do they approach?: (Nodding) Of course, the Frisians wouldn't miss their share of the fun, but we'll leave Friga before they arrive. What's troubling is this chaotic siege. It's vexing. It appears as though Frisia has hired the tribes to do it, but I know that's impossible. : Do you know the whereabouts of my son, Mact Brenin? : Who is this Drooket and where can I find him?: He is one of my men. And dare I say-the best. He's looked after Mact since the lad arrived in Friga. You should speak to Lon first. He's commander of the guard here. You'll probably find him in that house over there. I shall ask him to assist you.Lon and Hederlig are a thing, btw.  : Thank you. That's all I wanted to know.: Wait. I hesitate to say this, but... I owe you my life. I shan't forget it. If this pestilence doesn't destroy us, find me. I'm sure it'll be easy.: Yes, Your Highness.: Take your leave. I hope you find your son. He's a good lad, and now I know who he takes after. Farewell, Captain Brenin. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 And just when the game manages to do something right, it shits the bed by glitching the Hederlig fight option onto this menu as unselectable. Ash of Gods, ladies and gentlemen!  Poor Lon doesn't get a character portrait in extras, alas.    If you didn't click the link in the summary, click it now! The man is Sean Bean with all the likelihood of surviving this update that entails.  : What's happened to him? : He was ambushed. The place was crawling with thugs. It's as if someone gathered them up from all across Terminum, purposefully drove them mad, then herded them to Friga. Mact's had a run of especially bad luck. Some... unusual bandits have taken him prisoner.: (Harshly) Cannibals, right? No need to mince words. I've seen much in my lifetime. Is there any hope that Mact still lives? : Do you know where he is? You know what? You're a good man Drooket. Seriously, if we made Hederlig, Lon, and Drooket a protagonist party over Thorn and the Failure Gang this game would be so much better. : (Surprised) What can you tell me about the White Tower?: Wait... It's a death-trap, even for cannibals. Though, considering all this madness... I've yet to search there. How did you learn of the White Tower?  : Why are you looking for him?: The prince appointed me to look after Mact as soon as he arrived. I was like a mentor to him. You have an able son, Thorn. Quick learner, but what a hot-head. He acted rashly while in my charge. Please... forgive me.: Nothing to forgive. I remember myself at his age. I, too, would sneak away, looking for adventure. : Let's go and search for him.: No time to lose-every hour counts.: Will the prince not object?: Hederlig's strict. He spares no more soldiers for the search, and all of Mact's men are already dead. But the prince won't stand in our way. He's not heartless, and he was fond of Mact too.I suspect the prince would have everyone out searching for Mact if the fort wasn't under siege.  TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Or we could not go, and talk to Fisk instead. Is he stalking Gleda now?   The weird thing is, Thorn was! The last conversation we had had Thorn say things like: This loving game posted:
and talk about how he was personally awarded a decoration by the king!  Oh, I see. The intern must have wrote those last two moderately enjoyable conversations, and we are back to the regular Ash of Gods writers.  : Well... they're all kind of white in these parts. Oh, wait! There's a watchtower a few days' travel from here-but it was destroyed a long time ago. Some say it's cursed!: Do you know how to get there? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 I leave just like poor Friga intern did. I'll never forget what we shared, Friga intern. A few moments of me not hating this game.  Ok, let's go get our son and -  gently caress off! This wastes time (though we do get loyalty with Vai) and it turns out the monks have all been slaughtered as the regular Ash of Gods writers are desperate to piss away any good incurred by Friga intern. : Stay on the road.: You decide to continue your journey and avoid distractions. The road dives and hides beneath the debris of past landslides. You dismount and lead your horses on foot. When you're almost clear of the debris, you hear the twang of a bow-string. You duck-just in time.Hey, guess what faction never fields archer units?  These fuckers!  Translation: Gleda is force deployed on the next mission, fucker!  However, instead of fighting our way across the map to her which would be an interesting tactical challenge and a penalty for doing the Buff Man Dance, we get to place her, and eschew tactics to do...the Buff Man Dance.  Oh, look, they're all dead.  This is the background when we reach the White Tower. I guess those are Mact's men who have been eaten by the cannibals?  : Drooket points to the ruins. "The tower looks empty. I fear the bastards might panic and slaughter the prisoners. If you distract them, I'll sneak up from the side. I know this place, so I'll find a way."  Uhhhhhh. What the gently caress? : (Tense) My name is Thorn Brenin. You like to ask and answer your own questions, I see. Is this guy like 12? : (Looking around) If you're going to eat me anyway, what's the point? Wow, this guy is a fat shirtless cannibal with a mental age of 12. How did he manage to ambush and kill a column of armored men, and how is he still alive if this is the only way he gets food? : Well then, tell me your riddle. So I don't trust the translators and I invoke the power of GameFAQs. : Truth. You know what bothers me about this guy? He's a fairy-tale troll in a game that is very much trying to be serious and mature. Now fairy tales have some pretty dark stuff, but the tone is completely off for this Serious Grimdark Adventure the game wants us to have. Mabok here being a black guy instead of a troll is not helping the writers.  TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
   So this chapter has been all about rescuing our son from cannibals. You'd expect a climactic fight, right? Mabok is supposed to be some kind of shaman, maybe he left dark blood magic for his followers to use? Maybe insane cannibal warriors who gained strength by feasting on the flesh of their enemies?  Joke's on you! This is Ash of Gods! Seriously, these enemies are bog-standard thugs. One of them is literally named "Farm Laborer", for god's sake! They don't even have ranged weapons! It's a massive letdown. I don't think we've had anything that really qualifies as a boss fight outside of Lo Pheng chapters where he fought Atraakh. I mean, I know the Ash of Gods devs have an unholy terror of making unique enemies (probably because their code is a godawful spaghetti mess and I suspect abilities are tightly coupled to units). It's Chapter 6 of 10. We're still fighting these boring generic enemies but with bigger numbers. This is a climactic chapter-ending battle where we are literally fighting for our son's life. Hell, it wouldn't even be hard. Give Mabok Hopper's flame blade at a lower power level and different casting animation. Draw some demon-possessed looking guys and give them the Thorn's anger ability (raises attack and defense at the cost of health and energy) but have the casting animation for it be gnawing their own arms off or something. Hell, reuse some of the battle card animations as spell attacks for Mabok. This is not hard once you have the engine set up. Hell, if you want to be really cruel put Mact as a neutral unit and have him be tied to a stake. The cannibals can go eat him for health and you need to zerg across the battlefield to save him. There you go. I've given you a more interesting boss fight than this battle against farm laborers. You're welcome.  Oh, wow, look at that, it has the same solution as every other fight in the game. Cheese it with protagonist AoEs. They do have a nasty surprise in that they have a battle card that exchanges everyone's health and energy, but it really doesn't matter because you can just refresh the fight and be sure to buff Thorn's energy too.  I've had more climactic dumps.  : Gleda pushes past you. She stoops over Mact and smiles through her tears. "He's alive! Passed out, starving, bruised... but still alive! Praise the gods, it turned out all right!" So, remember that timer I was talking about all game? If you show up on day 33 Mact loses a hand. After that? Mact gets eaten by the cannibals. This is why I never rested and used gamefaqs to skip most "waste a day" events. I have literally never gotten any other ending than Mact being eaten here, and even that is pretty lame. You'd expect Thorn to run off swearing vengeance on Mabok, but he just breaks down with "hole in my heart" style dialog. It's not very interesting, and I'm glad I don't have to show it because this path, the one we are actually on, works! We have actual hope! We have set a goal and succeeded at something rather than just pointless, idiotic suffering!  Hell yea Drooket my dude, have a hug! : The warrior laughs as you rise, wrapping you in a bear hug. Under different circumstances, you might protest, but the relief of saving Mact is too great. You free yourself from Drooket's mighty embrace and smile at him. "How can I possibly thank you.[sic] We've just met, and I'm already in your debt. Without you, we'd have stood no chance.": "drat them!" Drooket growls. "Too bad we didn't kill them all. Especially the leader. The bastard ran away! One day I'll find him, and he'll beg for a quick death!" Grammar mistakes AND pointless death? The regular writers are back for certain.  You're in on the pointless cryptic mystic bullshit too? Drooket I thought you were cool!  : Ask about the woman.Maybe she can fill the gaping hole in Thorn's heart. By letting Thorn fill her hole. See, she was trying to dig a foundation but there were snakes and -    See how much better this works when there's actual contrast between some hope and a world full of pointless suffering?   Mact is a cool dude because he only lets us pick one of these dialogue choices. : What would you have done if you were me? : I'd have saved my son, Father. Our differences are few; any quarrels between us mean nothing. Hell yea! So Mact is our last playable character as far as I know. I've never actually recruited him, so I have no idea what he does! Knowing this game he'll be a generic warrior or some poo poo.  Things are looking up, goons! Remember, the fanart contest is still open until October 31st! TheGreatEvilKing fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Oct 23, 2019 |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2019 04:50
|
|
: Wow! I'm hungry! Is that a sword mister? It's so shiny!
|
Oh hey, I just discovered this and it looks EXTREMELY up my alley. Will probably avoid the bulk of the LP until I get to play it myself, but as a huge fan of this genre I’m super glad you’re doing this.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2019 02:12
|
|
|
Lo Pheng and the Opportunity To Please A Lot Of Women Well, it looks like I hosed up and might have to travel more for work, so you all get more Ash of Gods! YEA LO PHENG! When we left Lo Pheng, he was on an adventure to go to a magic teleporting rock and spill blood to teleport to the Isle of Shadows. He also is going to get punished for betraying his clan to save an attractive woman. Personally, I understand.  Let's take the Qimra Path, shall we?  The thread voted to have Lo Pheng be a nice guy, so... : Give the Ense some water.This also makes Khama like us more. : Ignoring the Gells, you examine the stranger. He's not dead, but close to it. You produce a flask and pour some water through the opening in his mask-but the Ense begins seizing. He dies a moment later.We tried.  But...why? Khama already told us that thieves can't use the rings. : You swear you see a glimpse of tears through the slits in Khama's mask. You ask, "Why didn't they finish him off? Why didn't they spare him from the suffering?"We are going to get a lot of Lo Pheng's lessons on suffering this update.  : Find out where the Gells found the Ense.: One of the Gells shrugs, regarding Khama anxiously. "It's here, not far away. There are many dead Frisians-but only one of his kind. We'll bring him to the nearest watch." Remember, the only time we have seen Lo Pheng use torture is when he wanted to get the Frisian guards to talk. Lo Pheng commits violence out of what he sees as necessity, not because he enjoys it. (We don't talk about Shannet. That girl is nuts.)  So, uh, torturing animals is usually a sign of psychopathy. : Tell Khama to kill the Gells.Reet will get pissed if we ask her to do it, but these guys just tortured Khama's friend, so we get a loyalty boost.  Huh, writing that actually works. What the hell?  This works on multiple levels. Remember what initially started our journey? Pelko Soturi asked us to kill Reet for Nakoma's amusement, and we refused. We then proceeded to give Nakoma the rear end whooping of his life because he took umbrage with our decision. Anyway, we get three random encounters on this stretch of road. Beat 2:  : Shannet winces in revulsion. "Such people don't survive. Look at her-she's practically dust. Giving her water is a waste of time. It won't make a difference. The only merciful thing to do is kill her." We're Nice Pheng by vote. : Save the woman.: You approach the woman and bring a flask of water to her lips. The water runs down her cheeks until finally, she seems to swallow. "Take the child and try to make him drink," you tell your companions. "Those ready to give a child their blood to drink deserve respect."The respect of a warrior of peace is not easily earned.   Lastly, we meet this poor guy on the road.  : Remind them that water is scarce.I guess we ran out of water after helping out the pregnant lady? : You say that those who give away their water must wait until the next well for a drink. The words sting your companions like a shepherd's whip and they quiet down. Who is John Galt? : You move on, but hear Reet shouting behind you: "We can't do it, Eikon! We're people!"  This is the one time the route you take in Lo Pheng's path actually matters. The Path of Mercy lets you do good deed that raise your team's morale and might get you out of a bad ending. The other path, if I recall correctly, involves a lot of torture and murder.  Lo Pheng has a soft spot for the ladies. : Intervene.: You move past your companions and kill most of the dogs with a few swift strikes. The rest of the pack scatters, whining. Still, the woman is beyond salvation. She clutches her ripped throat and wheezes for air. You've no choice but to put her out of her misery. With medieval medical technology...yeah. Though we do have Alus who has magic healing powers. It's a shame we don't get the option to ask him to help. He'd be all for it!   That raises our morale by 10%. Watch the gauge as we get through the update.  : How many years have you worn the mask?Get ready for an infodump, readers!  : If one year here also lasts three hundred days... it'd be five years. But I wasn't made when I put it on. It was a sign of valor. There were many who sought admission to the Sacred Hunt. There was talk about the end of the world. We were the ones to delay it.: (Detached) But you couldn't do it, could you? : Do you think the same fate awaits our world?: Do you ponder fate while in battle? You just fight. This is an EXCELLENT question and the non-JRPG answer is, you don't. The Bible posted:That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” This is the only piece of mythology I can think of where a mortal comes close to overpowering a deity, and even then God is kinda holding back here. Jacob impresses God with his strength, but in a straight up fight God would just smite him with flame. There's Diomedes, but he needed divine blessing to do it, and so on. The usual result is something like Moby Dick, where Ahab leads his men on a damned quest to fight God, foolishly baptizes himself in the name of the devil, rejects God's mercy by continuing to chase the whale, and is ultimately killed by the harpoon he forged in the Devil's name. Don't fight God, kids.  Um... : Whom did the Sacred Hunt target?: The people. Those called heretics. Those renegades who hadn't gone mad, and fought us wearing black painted masks. Those who tried to destroy the sacred stones, thinking that they were the source of all woes...So the Enses are also those racist half-white half-black alien idiots from Star Trek. Good to know. : Did you kill them? : What made you believe in the end of the world?: There were many signs. The sun grew brighter and brighter, burning everything out. The plague chained poor folks' throats and wrists. Most importantly, many changed into monsters-the spawn of the abyss. We massacred entire villages if we saw just one of them.Wait, we could have been having cool monster fights this entire game? gently caress you! : But it didn't help you... : So the evil brought you here... : Were there always only voices? : Did those Umbra look like people? : Did the menhirs give them strength? : Haven't you tried killing those Umbra?Lo Pheng, you tried it and he just respawns like a cheating rear end in a top hat. : Others did. Our enemies wore black masks. But as far as I know, no one succeeded. The Umbra had to deal with some internal conflicts though. They didn't die, in the end. They're incorporeal beings.: So, if the Umbra fought each other, but the gods nurtured them-does that mean the gods opposed each other? : Do you no longer hear voices?: I hear breathing-like a mighty warrior's been crushed under a mountain and can't awaken. It's terrifying.: Someone must have been in charge here, right? And there we go, more grammar errors. : Alright, I won't bother you with conversation. TheGreatEvilKingSummary posted:
Back on the Path of Mercy.   : Ask the merchant if he has anything for sale. He turns out to have some strixes, some awful battle cards, and a nifty item I can't afford that has an 80% chance of preventing injuries when you fall in combat. Whatever, I buy the 16 strixes and move on.   : Ruor scratches his head. "That's some foul sport! It's good for dogs to fight a wolf once in a while, but not if it's bound! That's outrageous!" : Free the animal.: You step before the women with your sword drawn. Three swings is all it takes to cut the ropes binding the animal. The dogs scatter with their tails between their legs. The wolf limps toward the forest. : The Gell's eyes are full of hatred. "It was killing our cattle!"  Buddy, Lo Pheng beat a Reaper and a bunch of soldiers at the same time. You're gonna fight him with a stick. : Threaten the Gell.: You step forward, striking the Gell below the knees with one fluid swing of your sword. "Because he can," you reply as he topples to the ground.  Lo Pheng isn't a good man, but he's not a complete monster either.  Again, stick to the Path of Mercy.  : Attack the Frisians and send one of your companions to rescue the woman.This is...a good encounter! You get to choose whether you want to stick to your clan's awful teachings, or whether you want to become human. : You pick the best person for the job. "You won't have much time," you say quietly. "Try to rescue the children. That's more important than killing the Frisians."  The upcoming battle is pretty unremarkable, so let's talk about Khama. : Khama is a weird unit who gets a few ranged attacks and the spearman's AoE thrust. He has a very high attack stat and is the only character in the game to my knowledge who can gain multiple points of attack in one level. The downside to Khama is that he is slow as gently caress and will never get anywhere you need him to, so you might as well just send the Phengster out alone and reserve the other party members as cheerleaders. One of the annoying things about fighting Frisians is that their mainline infantry carry spears that can be used to stab Lo Pheng without taking counterattacks. Neither of the other two protagonists has had to face Frisians yet, so I am convinced this is the designers loving you over for being good.  poo poo. That gives Lo Pheng an injury.  I've never used the time cards. I think they just screw with the turn counter for using battle cards, rather than undoing turns or something. I may try them out if I get all the pieces.   Whaaaaa?  Something tells me the Council of Elders would not agree with Lo Pheng here. However, he got to put his magic rock in a cute redhead while they sit around yelling at young whippersnappers, so who's really in the right here?   "Like, hypothetically, if I were sexually attracted to a warrior of peace, could we gently caress on the island?" : Describe the slaves on the island.: You see genuine curiosity in her eyes and decide to answer truthfully. "We have very few slaves. Peasants tend to their own fields, women to their children, craftsmen to their trade. We only need slaves to train our warriors." Someone didn't pay attention during the memory sessions.  : Laugh it off.: You decide to laugh it off. "Oh, we used to temper Eikon blades inside them. We'd nourish and pamper them for a year to fatten them up. For most of them, it was the happiest year of their lives.": Swarty grows pale. "But you don't do it any longer? Why?"  This raises squad morale by 10%, but it's also important for Lo Pheng as a character too. Remember when he was talking to Swarty and realized he'd spent too long chatting with her? Or how Swarty was sobbing because Lo Pheng seemed like an emotionless human monster? It's amazing how one act of defiance can bring a whole regime crumbling down.   : "Your stone absorbed the curse and died," she adds as she leaves. "I don't know how the stones die, but that's how it felt. It's just a strix now. This magic is very powerful, Eikon."RIP Nameless Warrior Guy.  : Reminisce.  "Yea girl, like what you see?" Anyway this is the last random encounter before the wandering menhir, I swear.   We do it all the time in gameplay - where else do we get all that gold? Anyway, the correct answer is: : Kill the marauder.  That gets us to 50% morale, which is seriously the highest I've ever seen Lo Pheng's party get.  Goddammit Khama.   : Take it off.  : And nobody could do it?: I heard that the black-masked warriors did it, but I can't be sure. It's possible they painted masks taken from people like me. I've unmasked those that I've killed-and have only found ordinary faces.: Who were those black-masked warriors? : Do you remember your home? : Memories of home are painful for me, too.: Did you burn it down and kill your loved ones?: No. I renounced them. In his own way, Khama is a foil to Lo Pheng as well. Where Lo Pheng's clan abused him, Khama's religion did. I don't think it works as well because Khama never had free will because all the Enses are mind controlled, but the intent is there. : Did the gods destroy your world? HMM WHAT OTHER WOMAN DO WE KNOW WHO HAS BEEN MANIPULATING ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT? : What do you mean?: Ask her when you see a delicate shadow wielding immense power. A light bow will be slung over her shoulder-and not even a band of warriors will be strong enough to draw it. Do not attempt to sweep aside the black tresses covering her face. There is only death underneath.Sound familiar? The Prologue posted:Look to the right. : How many Reapers have you seen? : Good talk, Khama.: Here's my advice. When you've got time, warrior, find peace in your heart. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
That's some "gaping hole" poo poo right there, goons!   : Ask about waiting for a menhir.: You try to understand the reason for Reet's unease. "How quickly is it going to appear? Does it appear every time? What's the best way to lure it?": Reet looks back, catches your eye, and approaches.We get a pan across the desert, and then...   : Weapons, armor, and all? : How soon will the menhir appear? : How much blood do we need to spill? : Is there any other way? Girl if you wore a full shirt you wouldn't have to hold it up all the time.  : Who is this guardian?: Not one of the Qimra. He's... master of these lands. He has no castle or army, save for the bandits in the Vale of Mercy. And they're just a diversion. He serves the Roaming Menhir. : Wait for the menhir to appear.: (In a detached manner) If it does not appear by the end of the day, I would say that there is no shortcut. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Decisions lie before us! Remember, if we kill anyone, we piss off the guardian. If you vote to sacrifice, name a character. Also, fanart contest is still open! Bust out your MS Paint and depict the most "Ash of Gods" moment by October 31st for a free forum upgrade on me! Choose wisely.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2019 05:03
|
|
|
Let's give spilling some blood a go, but if that doesn't work give up on the shortcut. Lo Pheng has come too far to sacrifice someone now. (but if other people do vote to sacrifice, we have an easy candidate in the guy we meant to leave behind who glitched back into the team!)
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2019 05:23
|
|
|
sacrifice Ruor. I wanna see this guardian, and it's not like Lo Pheng couldn't take him
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2019 16:12
|
|
|
professor metis posted:Let's give spilling some blood a go, but if that doesn't work give up on the shortcut. Lo Pheng has come too far to sacrifice someone now. Agreed with this.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2019 16:42
|
|
|
Voting closed, we go with option 2.
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2019 16:22
|
|
|
Lo Pheng and the Parade of Magic Bullshit When we last left Lo Pheng, he was contemplating whether to murder one of his companions to do some teleporty bullshit with a magic rock.  : We should spill blood.: Reet speaks up. "When the Reaping began, everything changed. We must leave the plain, but the Roaming Menhir might not appear in time. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what it'll take to lure it out. All I know is that blood must be spilled."  SHANNET YOU GOD drat MORON! Ok, breaking this down this is kind of ironic. Shannet is a lying liar, but she HAS been brutalized at the hands of the temple. Her going for revenge is completely in character. The irony is, of course, that Alus got kicked out of the church for refusing to brutalize women.  Oh, and if you didn't put your sacrificial stone in Reet immediately? You don't save Khama and Alus gets murdered. You can avoid this by killing off Shannet in battle.  Why does this card exist? It's gently caress awful!  We have got Lo Pheng, and they have not. Though Lo Pheng's party members are really coming into their own. The archers are still good, Khama is actually obscenely good because his heavy hitting attack is on a cooldown and gives him energy (and is also an AoE) and Shannet has a ranged attack that life drains. Also the archers get back health on killing people making their dead shot usage more survivable.  Of course, Lo Pheng will absolutely dominate any section of the battlefield you put him in thanks to the almighty Cloud Tower, free counterattacks, and vicious array of sword strikes.  The only possible outcome!   The menhir teleports in with a pretty nifty animation that is utterly lost by my poor screenshotting skills.  : You look around. "Help? With what? Are the Gells not all dead?"Yea...we seem to be breaking our rules on third person/first person again. : Reet shakes her head. "Enses. I can sense them already. They flock to the menhirs like bees to flowers. Prepare to fight."  Oh, look, our friend the Ense warlock.  Git gud scrubs! I missed the screenshot, but he used his Pillar of Ash fire attack on Lo Pheng, who completely no-sold it with Cloud Tower. This game is a lot better when you're not saddled with Thorn's useless rear end.    : Nod to the stranger.: Either the stranger did not see it, or he did not interpret your nod as a greeting. That's...probably bad.  We have some chatty companions this update! We start with Alus, who is terrified after the attempted murder.   : I will keep an eye on Shannet. You know all the women can hear you right! TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
This increases his loyalty. Now let's talk to Khama.    : Who destroyed your world?: I know not. When I could still hear, I heard that a mad god did it. But I cannot be certain. There was the sun that burned everything. And poison, falling like rain.Brutal, dude. : I am trying to understand you, Khama. What drives you? Is it your duty? Your faith? Repentance?: Why did you rush to Alus' defense? Why did you stop Shannet? Out of mercy? The first option kinda pisses him off, so let's not do that. : You knew about this?: True, but I acted as if in a fog-as if I was drunk. Now, my eyes are open. I understand the truth. Spilling innocent blood is a quick way into the abyss, nowhere else. Wisdom-that is what drives me.For example, if you write a game about pointless misery people will give it bad reviews and not want to play it. : What do you talk about with Reet? : Who are you now? Khama is just like Lo Pheng, a monster regaining some measure of humanity. Unlike Lo Pheng, he is more open and communicative, outwardly admitting that what he did was wrong and he seeks to correct it. Lo Pheng has just been silently improving and becoming more human, whether it's joking with Swarty (who has herself progressed from being terrified to kinda into him) or saving women from fires.  He's also been showing a lot more emotion and seems to be forcing himself to be somewhat detached.  : How much time do you have?: As long as the Reaping lasts. Perhaps less. We feed on the power of the menhirs, but not because we cannot eat food. The spells binding us need the power of the menhirs. Those same spells kill us when the Reaping ends. These spells cannot be broken.Didn't Reet...do that? Khama's here because she broke the spell on him. : The longer the Reaping, the longer your life?It seems kinda stupid to throw away your whole army for...we still don't know what the point of the Reaping is, do we? Presumably the Reapers can still run around killing people? I think this game's plot needs a bonus update.  : How much time does this world have?: I do not know. It is not as bad as it was in my world... yet. But it does not take long for water to boil over flames. If the one who destroyed my world comes here, it will be over quickly.:Will you sense his arrival? : We will talk again, Khama.: If our fates are willing and our fortunes align. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Let's talk to the crazy woman who tried to murder Alus.  Now that I think about it, do any of these characters know Lo Pheng's name? Did he ever tell them?  : You must not kill for pleasure.: You knew the Gells were approaching. You probably heard them! Didn't we kill a man for doing this? : What are you playing at, Shannet? Why did you escape Wodan if you seek death? Is there something I should know? : Try not to tear apart the lives of others.: Look who's talking! Do Eikons not kill over trifling matters? Do they value the lives of others? : To each his own. People find relief their own way-get drunk their own way, breathe their own way, and die their own way. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
Finally let's talk to the magic teleporting man.   We just saw it teleport. I believe Khama mentioned the menhirs teleport you. Why are we skeptical? I suppose this is better than Thorn blinking dumbly every time Chila shows up to give him free poo poo.    : How does one kill a Reaper? Why would you ask this? The Reapers are assholes who murder children and castrate people. At that point, even an answer of "I want to flay Dorpkhal alive and hear his screams" is good enough. : To oppose the Reaper! Are those questions? Where was the editor. Why is this so bad.  : I know a bit about it. Hundreds of years ago, fourteen stone knives were fashioned-each as powerful as a small menhir. The chance to use them against the Reapers never came. Still, the price for them was high. The Ashen Wasteland is proof of that.Also, they were forged by child murder. This completely spits in the face of the "do the right thing" theme they've been going for. More on that later. : At the battle of Drowsy Deep, twelve curros-runaway servants of the gods-had to kill themselves with these stone knives. There was no other way to stop the five Reapers that stood against them. One knife remained with Blance, the thirteenth curro. Another was stolen.We know Amma has the knife. What we don't know is why the 13 guys from the intro didn't just stab the Reapers. Seriously, Lo Pheng beat the poo poo out of Atraakh in hand to hand combat twice.  Are you sure? Lo Pheng looks as exasperated with this stupid poo poo as I am. : Where will this shortcut take me? :: What keeps the stone afloat? : I say we can move on. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
*This really happens! Be sure to save Khama or Lo Pheng's entire party dies.    This is probably the most romantic thing any woman has ever said to Lo Pheng. : Why would you want to die by my side?: Because if I die by your side, I'd know death was the only option. If it were anyone else, I'd be afraid of dying far less nobly.: Let me tell you something else. Look closely at Reet. It could be the color of her eyes...or their shape...can't put my finger on it, but she could be Orkan's daughter. Or granddaughter. Or great-granddaughter. Orkan looks like an ancient lich with red hair and Reet is a hot redhed in maybe her 20s? Clearly, a resemblance. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
So the developers have Lo Pheng and Reet as the official couple, but it seems like Lo Pheng and Swarty have actual chemistry while Reet acts as an exposition fairy. Lo Pheng is certainly interested in her, so I can't tell if Reet is just bad at showing her feelings toward him for giving her the magic rock, naturally reserved, or the traditional Ash of Gods excuse of "bad writing." That said, I am really glad the devs didn't try to put in some kind of awkward sex scene.   "Appease existence"? I don't understand what that means. : What do we have to do? Kinky! I guess I spoke too soon! : What are we going to see? I don't - what does this even mean when talking about space? This is barely allowable when discussing metaphorical darkness as evil. : What are we going to feel? : How much more time do you need? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Energize!  It's a big loving rock!  : Ask Orkan whose blood he needs.: Orkan chuckles. "Mine is sufficient. It's only human blood, regardless of what you may think. Your blood is needed elsewhere. Save it for now.That's not ominous at all! : You stand transfixed. In a flash, you see into the heart of the steppe roamer-a thousand years of pain and longing.  We immediately get the battle preparation screen.    How is this Lo Pheng's fault? This was Reet's idea! Maybe she just has a thing for Swarty.   Whatever happens, we have got Eikon Lo Pheng, and they have not   This might be the most characters we've ever seen in the Dialogue Zone (tm) : (Adjusting his mask) I have forgotten what the snow and cold feel like. You have beautiful mountains here! Everything else fits. There is a metallic taste in my mouth. It is what a pathway should feel like.Given the way the characters are placed I will offer an alternative explanation for "beautiful mountains". This is probably not what the writers intended posted:Ok, yes, it's immature, but when you don't have your writing and art teams talk to each other this is what happens. Khama is adjusting his mask staring at Reet's sideboob while talking about beautiful mountains. If you don't want your readers to draw these conclusions, coordinate your art and writing!  Not shown: footprints. : I see no footprints. : If anyone can see footsteps here, it would be a Qimra. A dog can track scents no man can detect....She just called herself a bitch. : (In a detached manner) Orkan could have been more precise. He could have at least warned us. I thought he liked you. : We should try to find our way.: That's what I'm doing. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Ha ha holy poo poo. Go back and look at the very first update. We've been teleported to Amma's house! Remember her?  It's super convenient because she has Hopper's knife. : There is no menhir or altar in sight, but you can immediately tell that the decrepit hut is inhabited...and that a group of Enses blocks your way, ready for battle.Not pictured: Enses.  We get pitched into a fight and the usual happens.  Instead of ineffectually burning Lo Pheng for 0 damage, join my party. Come on.  Your loss.   Be honest. Did you really think they were just going to leave Amma out of the plot?   Oh, poo poo! She's right incidentally, you can't get here if you stick to the Eikon teachings and you get cutscene killed. : Who are you? Why do you look familiar? : Do you think we have much time? : An ignorant man is fearless. Those who have little time do not prize it above all because they never recognize its true value.: I have heard that fortunetellers give vague answers that are open to many interpretations. You are no fortuneteller-that much is clear. But how can you be a seeress or healer without another living soul around? You might be getting the impression that Amma doesn't put a high value on human life. It gets worse. : What does the future hold for me, Amma? How does that follow at all? Also, she literally said "I will see the future for you". Amma kind of sucks. : Does Orkan know that we are here? : How long will the Reaping last? : What are Gells doing here, Amma? To repeat: We slaughtered her personal guard and she refers to those men as "it". She can see the future and instead of ordering them to let us through, she had them fight to the death against an Eikon warrior of peace. Given what we've seen of Umbra magic (Hopper is able to use a lot of mind control) it is highly likely that those men were not there by choice but rather enslaved. Amma is a monster. It gets worse! : Where will you go? We have no reason to go there. : I'm headed in a different direction.: You know not where you're going yet. But you're headed the right way, despite your past blunders. Yea...that's not ominous at all. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Khama we've talked to you at least twice this update already.   Yea that's not suspicious at all! : You are learning our language quickly.: I absorb everything like a sponge. My world ceased to exist. I can feel it. So, I must now absorb this world...and its tongue.: (In a detached manner) Will you take your mask off? : Is it the rock herself? : Where I come from, they are akin to terrible demons. They served the gods... one of them at least. The more insane he was, the more terrible his servants became. Only now do I understand this. : How many Umbra servants are there?  This raises an excellent question: Where the gently caress is Atraakh, and why hasn't he attacked us? : Who are the Reapers?: High Umbra who have absorbed the spirit of their divinity. Since nobody controls them, they become Reapers and gorge themselves on the menhirs' power. I cannot guarantee any of the Umbra will not become Reapers. Tibibar gets like 1 line at the end of the game : What can you tell me of the gods from your world? Wow, great job editors!  : And the last question for now... I think we're missing an "is" there, Lo. : They are not the only remnants, Eikon... Somewhere in the depths of Terminum, there lies an ark full of my kin, waiting to be rescued. It is possible that I was suspended within it all these years. It is also possible that the Reaping is meant to purge this world for us to rule.Seeing as you all die post-Reaping, I wouldn't count on that. : Are you prepared to kill me to reduce this risk? Old Lo Pheng wouldn't have hesitated. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 This is gonna be stupid, isn't it?   : Were you thinking of approaching her?: You always expect wine from an uncorked barrel to be sweeter than the open cask. Imagine it poured into a silver jug... but I'll not climb that high. Too easy to break one's neck.Good, he's not a complete moron. : This is what I cannot grasp. She probably is wise... and likely still deft. But what is her power?Seeing the future?  Are you telling me we could have fought necromancers this whole time? Or witches? Then again, we nearly fought a shaman but the effects budget ran out. : The ones that can make warriors fearless?  I cannot tell if this is supposed to be because he wants to insert his penis or because she's using witchcraft. : I suppose so... What do you know about Opacum?: It's a large, enchanted fortress. Sorcerers feel nauseous in its proximity, and it heats certain amulets. Legend says it's never been taken, yet every ship eventually sinks.: Do you think the time has come? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
  You can't be detached with an exclamation point!  : What exactly do you mean by "fine"? So the characters will blink if the screen is left alone. It's why Bolla looks like she's rhapsodizing here. : (In a detached manner) I care not who you are or who you think you are. You cannot see yourself from the inside, can you? Why should I care who you are now if you will just change after a moment. If you want to know where the arrow will strike... : Are you like a seed eager to impregnate the soil?: (Smirking) Take your pick. I care not if it's the soil, the womb or a flower pot. But I can tell you one thing, Eikon-never again will I be a slave.  Can any ladies in the thread confirm how this works? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Last conversation, yes!   : What kind of deeds?: She foresees the future. That's quite something. Believe me, guarding a floating menhir is not the strangest thing in Terminum. That woman, though, she is a mystery...I need to step back a bit. Thorn's dialogue with Chila made it sound like seers were rare but not unheard of. Now Reet, our local Cutscene Magic Expert, is completely lost. Huh? : (Taken aback) Tell me, what troubles you? What could happen if Amma says something to make me accompany her? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Taking the Nintendo Power advice lets us talk to Amma. Are you ready for a doozy?  NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING RUN AWAY  Uh, how do you know what's in the Eikon temple? : The temple is hundreds of years old. Have you forgotten the generations of sculptors and stonemasons who worked on it?I do like that Lo Pheng is willing to entertain the possibility that some Eikons might just...tell their girlfriends sacred secrets or whatever.  : (In a detached manner) What wisdom do you speak of? : (Flabbergasted) Who are you, Amma? Why do you look so familiar?  We've actually had the Great Ancestress briefly, briefly mentioned: Earlier in the game posted: That's, uh, something alright. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
Amma is a monster. Lo Pheng's memories posted:Remember all these? How Lo Pheng was forced to kill his family? Foreigners? Tortured endlessly? How this has been done generation after generation to produce the best warriors? Now we know why. So that Amma, in this moment, here and now, can get an escort. Amma is a monster.  And this idiot has terrible taste in women. TheGreatEvilKing fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Oct 26, 2019 |
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2019 21:41
|
|
|
I lost track of what the gently caress Khama and the Ense's deal was supposed to be like three updates ago and I suspect they just made it up as they went along
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2019 22:59
|
|
|
The added hilarity of Lo Pheng's entire life being A Wizard Did It is that had he actually acted and lived like he was trained to, he would be dead right now and future seeing woman would have done all that for nothing.
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2019 23:49
|
|
|
fluffyDeathbringer posted:I lost track of what the gently caress Khama and the Ense's deal was supposed to be like three updates ago and I suspect they just made it up as they went along Khama really feels like the writers realized they didn't actually explain what the plot was or who the antagonists were and now they had him they were going to stuff as much exposition about them as possible. Of course, this being Ash of Gods, Khama's long exposition dumps are actually kind of contradictory because he's still hearing voices from the mind control or some stupid poo poo. Putting it together with some of the stuff various characters have said, we get this: -The Enses are extradimensional aliens from a dead world called "Calz". -Khama and the Enses' job is to come in and cause as much pain and suffering as possible to power up the menhirs, which is why they do poo poo like coat blade pyramids in children's blood. -The menhirs teleport Ense attack squads to them with this power, but also power up the Reapers. -The Reapers are out of control rampaging through Terminum because it's funny. They used to answer directly to the gods of Khama's world (Calz) but one of the gods went nuts and fought the other four. Those other four apparently died(?). Khama changes his position on whether all the Umbra served the mad god or whether they fought each other, so go nuts. -Blance (Hopper) and the guys from the prologue ran away and decided to be free, becoming "curros". They were the lesser Umbra who reported to the Reapers. -The mad god destroyed the Enses' world with acid rain and an evil sun and poo poo. Why he did this is unclear, but the only time we actually see him in the text he was literally eating children after having Dorpkhal run through a village cutting off boobs and dicks. He was so evil even Dorpkhal was horrified. -The Enses are under some kind of mind control spell that might be the gods talking to them, which is either the mad god or all the Calz gods or I don't even loving know this writing is piss. There's some more poo poo we really don't care about, like an Ense civil war in the dying world or some kind of "ark" full of Enses that teleported to Terminum, but those are the important points. Khama straight up contradicts himself with some of this because he's still recovering from the magic spell they put him under, and quite frankly some of the contradiction is dumb minutia we don't care about. First Reet breaks the spell that binds him. Then it turns out that's not true, because an evil curse will make him die if he takes off his mask. Said curse is unbreakable. Then we teleport through the Roaming Menhir and suddenly he can not only adjust his mask, but also take it off if he wishes (he does not wish to). The sad thing is that we still don't know what we're trying to achieve. Chila has sent Thorn and Hopper to Opacum. Now Amma is having us go to Opacum. We don't know why or what we're supposed to do there, aside from bringing Reet and Gleda because they're special. We know there's a threat of the mad god returning, but we don't know how because by all indications the Reapers aren't actually following his orders and have just been pointlessly rampaging because they're assholes.. We can guess that there's a high probability Chila the witch is actually Childao, the archer Reaper from the prologue (given her speeches on how she serves no master and the golden eyes of an Umbra, this is highly likely). We don't know what Amma wants or why she wants to go to Opacum, but we know Dorpkhal was interested in Gleda. Obviously the writers thought they were crafting an intriguing story and teasing the reader who would be curious to find out what's going on, but the problem is that all the answers that are revealed are stupid and uninteresting. Why are the Enses so brutal and refusing all attempts to communicate? Magic. Where do they come from? Magic. Do they have any clear goals? No, they mostly show up on the road and attack our heroes. Are the Reapers doing anything? No. If our heroes are so important to the Reapers, why aren't they interacting with us at all? Why are we on Chapter 6 of this game where the Reapers are the main antagonists only having interacted with 2 of the 5 briefly? I am getting unpleasant flashbacks to  where the black smoke monster appeared rarely to kill and/or judge people, and the ultimate reveal was that he was an evil dude who lived on the crashed slave ship and wanted to destroy the cave powering the afterlife on the island because...he was a bad guy, I guess? Having said all this, it's clear the dark god was supposed to be the game's main antagonist if you read the online preview chapter of the prologue. Why they made the decision to bury all that in Chapter 6, rather than foreshadow to the player that a dark and hungry god is coming, is a complete mystery to me.
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2019 07:20
|
|
|
Thorn reminds me of something. TheGreatEvilKing posted:I am getting unpleasant flashbacks to He wanted off the island, which might have ended the world because of reasons. Duh.
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2019 09:36
|
|
|
TheGreatEvilKing posted:the summary we don't deserve, but the summary we need holy gently caress thank you
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2019 16:35
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 22:26 |
|
|
Fan art competition is now closed! Judging Monday.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2019 23:30
|
|