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Computer viking
May 30, 2011
Now with less breakage.

My mom just mailed me a bag of coffee beans. Which is perfect, I had like one cup left.

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Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

a primate posted:

I think I’ve come to the realization that Starbucks is gross. It always has this burnt rubber/plastic smell and taste that’s kind of off-putting.

I like dark roasted coffee, like I drink a lot of Italian roast stuff which is kind of diesel-y, but there’s something about Starbucks I’m not too fond of.

It's reputation is based on the fact that it's better than all of the other large coffee chains, which is an extremely low bar to clear. Also, their 'default' roast is gross, and their other ones are better.

That said, french press crew reporting.

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

Total Clam

Computer viking posted:

My mom just mailed me a bag of coffee beans. Which is perfect, I had like one cup left.




Are there any more informational labels? I'd like to order some of this.

thelizzerd
Nov 12, 2021
Everyone in the world seems to be all about the french press. I'm using a Kurig I got for free and coffee cups I found on clearance at Walmart for $0.15 for a box of 12. And I bought a bunch of boxes. All coffee tastes like rear end to me so might as well just drink rear end.

a primate
Jun 2, 2010

Doctor J Off posted:

It's reputation is based on the fact that it's better than all of the other large coffee chains, which is an extremely low bar to clear. Also, their 'default' roast is gross, and their other ones are better.

That said, french press crew reporting.

Pike place tastes like trucker piss

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

thelizzerd posted:

Everyone in the world seems to be all about the french press. I'm using a Kurig I got for free and coffee cups I found on clearance at Walmart for $0.15 for a box of 12. And I bought a bunch of boxes. All coffee tastes like rear end to me so might as well just drink rear end.

When the only tool you have is rear end, everything is another rear end. :psyduck:

a primate posted:

Pike place tastes like trucker piss

800mg Ibuprofen

That's the magic ingredient that makes every truck stop smell so loving awful. I got a throat infection and was taking a poo poo-load to eat/sleep/drink/talk. It was awful.

Nyan Bread
Mar 17, 2006

Buschmaki posted:

I've been wanting to try making turkish coffee for like 1-2 years but never bought the stuff for it. Yesterday I found a cezve on a walk and it's turkish coffee time >:)

I'm no covfefe consultant like Genesplicer's bro, but from experience the secret to making Turkish coffee is having the beans be ground as fine as concrete dust, so that you get a good amount of sedimentation in the cup after pouring one from the cezve.

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
Just a reminder that light roasts exist and can be very, very good. If you think of them as weak coffee-light you don't know what you're talking about.

The Real Amethyst
Apr 20, 2018

When no one was looking, Serval took forty Japari buns. She took 40 buns. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.
I'm convinced the only reason most people like the taste is because the stimulant kick.

I mean amphetamine paste taste horrible and burns the back of your nose and that sweet toxic chemical post nasal drip is glorious...but only because we associate it with the stimulant kick.

Anyway know what else feels good? Having a nap after a cup o cawfee


Well time for my 4am coffee

:synthy:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjTZfbfr3QI

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

shmups are da best come play some shmups they're cheap and good and you like them
Plaster Town Cop
light roasted Ethiopian beans are next level. one of the best flavors imaginable

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod


Computer viking posted:

My mom just mailed me a bag of coffee beans. Which is perfect, I had like one cup left.



I'm the "& mars bar"

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

If you've never tried cafe de olla give it a whirl sometime :discourse:

Stalizard
Aug 11, 2006

Have I got a headache!
i used to go get a cappuccino a couple of days a week from the place down the street. there was only ever one person who knew how to use the espresso machine and she was usually on the phone in her car when i came in and she'd always get real frustrated that i wanted a "fancy" coffee. door to door the whole calamity usually took about thirty minutes if there wasn't anybody in line ahead of me, and the price was never the same

then i got a jura machine for christmas so now i just press a button and get a pretty good cappuccino in the quiet of my own home and it only takes two minutes. there are some days i miss the social interaction and the feeling like i'm part of the community, but also gently caress waiting thirty minutes for a dang coffee? hard to say.

styls trill epic
Dec 28, 2021

by sebmojo
I am sipping an early morning cup as well

Computer viking
May 30, 2011
Now with less breakage.

Son of Rodney posted:

I'm the "& mars bar"

Yeah, I wondered about that one. I guess the most unique taste there is the malt and meringue, but ... I don't think that's in the list of reference tastes.

Computer viking
May 30, 2011
Now with less breakage.

Genesplicer posted:

Are there any more informational labels? I'd like to order some of this.

It's this - but they're Norwegian, so unless I've missed something, shipping to you is likely to be prohibitive.

init
Jun 20, 2021

a primate posted:

I think I’ve come to the realization that Starbucks is gross. It always has this burnt rubber/plastic smell and taste that’s kind of off-putting.

I like dark roasted coffee, like I drink a lot of Italian roast stuff which is kind of diesel-y, but there’s something about Starbucks I’m not too fond of.

I used to have the same problem with Starbucks. Now I just get starbucks lattes with ristretto shots, which for some reason taste less burnt (at least at the stores around here).

This is what I usually order: Venti hot latte with 4 ristretto shots and almond milk. It usually turns out pretty good.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007
An alright dude.
Starbucks taste like poo poo to me , its too bitter.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Hollismason posted:

Starbucks taste like poo poo to me , its too bitter.

:hmmyes:

I like dark roasts but Starbucks doesn't seem like a good dark roast. It just seems like they gently caress it up.

Anyway, I don't have time to make a proper coffee today so I got 100% Columbian cold brew coffee from Costco and added 3 Stevia packets and a few tablespoons of Fairlife milk. :)

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

Venti caramel macchiato. With an extra stopper stick for my 2 year old to play with.

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002
Pillbug
Made some coffee in my old rear end french press, enjoying it before all the dumb errands today.

Got a Nespresso for Xmas and enjoying that too - way less hassle than getting an espresso machine. Have a moka pot but it's mostly for making tiramisu.

Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010

Alucard posted:

Got a Nespresso for Xmas and enjoying that too - way less hassle than getting an espresso machine. Have a moka pot but it's mostly for making tiramisu.

We got a secondhand Nespresso at work and I use it everyday and I'm sure it sucks relative to real fancy espresso makers but I like it.

ps im drinking coffee right now

BounceBanana
Feb 3, 2021
poo poo. Now I need to get off my rear end and go make coffee. I too use a french press even though I'm mostly straight. I want to get one that can make about 8 cups and keep it insulated. Right now I pour my first cup and pour the rest into a thermos to keep warm but my press and thermos only make/hold about 4 cups.

Pug Rodeo
Feb 20, 2007

BRING IT ON BRING IT ON YEAH


a primate posted:

I think I’ve come to the realization that Starbucks is gross. It always has this burnt rubber/plastic smell and taste that’s kind of off-putting.

Starbucks whole thing is that you can go to a Starbucks anywhere in the world and have it taste exactly the same. How they pull that off is by roasting the poo poo out of it to the point that it just tastes charred and relies on their massive selection of syrups to mask the taste.

When I have to go there I have found that the one item I can stand is their cold brew that they float a bunch of cream on top. It covers the burnt taste without turning it into quite as much of a sugar bomb as the flavored syrups.

Stalizard posted:

then i got a jura machine for christmas so now i just press a button and get a pretty good cappuccino in the quiet of my own home and it only takes two minutes. there are some days i miss the social interaction and the feeling like i'm part of the community, but also gently caress waiting thirty minutes for a dang coffee? hard to say.

You know this isn’t a typical experience for getting a cappuccino right? 30 minutes is insane.

WorldsStongestNerd
Apr 28, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
Me: desperate for the perfect cup. Hiding raw coffee beans in my cats bowl. With shaking hands I pick thru the catshit in the litter box.

"It'll work it has to work" I mumble as tears cloud my eyes.

styls trill epic
Dec 28, 2021

by sebmojo

Szyznyk posted:

Venti caramel macchiato. With an extra stopper stick for my 2 year old to play with.

Possible choking hazard OP?

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




Starbucks burns their coffee so much not just for consistency, but also they can get away with cheaper, worse beans because the ashy flavor overpowers everything else. They also assume that most people are gonna get their coffee with a bunch of other stuff mixed in like milk, sugar, and syrup, so they need the coffee itself to have a strong flavor that stands out. You're not really meant to drink it black.

I always go for their "light" roast (which isn't all that light) if I have to visit a Starbucks. The beans are usually a better product than what they use for their dark roasts because they know you'll actually be able to taste it.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
My moka pot came in today. Gonna try it out tomorrow morning. :getin:

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side

Bad Purchase posted:

Starbucks burns their coffee so much not just for consistency, but also they can get away with cheaper, worse beans because the ashy flavor overpowers everything else. They also assume that most people are gonna get their coffee with a bunch of other stuff mixed in like milk, sugar, and syrup, so they need the coffee itself to have a strong flavor that stands out. You're not really meant to drink it black.

I always go for their "light" roast (which isn't all that light) if I have to visit a Starbucks. The beans are usually a better product than what they use for their dark roasts because they know you'll actually be able to taste it.

I never understood that. "Dark roast" from Starbucks to me looks more like "Spanish roast" which is pretty much fully carbonized ash. Don't know what people like about it, it's awful.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

im already wearing my flame retardant suit but im gonna say that i dont enjoy french press for coffee because of the grittiness. much prefer paper filter.

i make an exception for espresso because its such a smaller volume of liquid, good espresso is really good

Toys For Ass Bum
Feb 1, 2015

Get some decaffeinated beans, for making extra super loving strong coffee without overdosing on caffeine.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Americans like "dark roast" because it sounds better, dark is bold and rich. We like things that sound like more. We want strong dark coffee because we work hard and have hard dicks.

Light sounds like less, like diet food. Light sounds like the bad ice cream your aunt whos "watching her figure" buys. Or light beer.

People also assume light roast has less caffeine. So youve got generations of coffee drinkers who just assume coffee is meant to be this muddy bitter affair brewed from beans that look like rabbit turds.

I implore all coffee fans to try a single origin light roast pourover. Black. So so so delicious, like expensive tea.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

styls trill epic posted:

Possible choking hazard OP?

Nah, she just likes to flick it and carry it around Target like a loon.

Commie Lasorda
May 15, 2009

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

Pennywise the Frown posted:

My moka pot came in today. Gonna try it out tomorrow morning. :getin:

Yo it'll change your life. Just be sure to run cold water over the bottom right as it starts to gurgle.

BounceBanana
Feb 3, 2021
They have this machine called Nescafé at my wirk. It dispenses these little wax coated paper cups and fills it with coffee. I drink about 6 or so cups a night. I'm drinking one right now. It tastes pretty free.

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Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
I am curious to what is the popular way to filter your water. Zerowater is a big name along with Brita. I am going to try putting Brita filtered water into my Zerowater to to make it last longer.

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