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 The Onion Will Be Euthanizing People For Free This Sunday
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Jun 23, 2013 20:14
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The Case For And Against George Zimmerman Hits it out of the park. Also, Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar
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Jun 24, 2013 21:00
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Gap Forced To Recall Pants After Man Dies Eating 37 Pairs Of Corduroys Local Man in Coma After Eating 413 Red Lobster Biscuits
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Jun 25, 2013 03:13
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Woman Proud Of Horrible Tan Appeared on the front page, this woman is almost everyone where I live.
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Jun 25, 2013 09:09
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George Zimmerman’s Attorney Opens Second Day Of Trial With Trayvon Martin Impression Yo, my name’s Trayvon, and I’m here to say/Suckers mess with me, I will make them pay. In the Trayvon Martin Onion movie, the attorney for the defense will be played by Eugene Levy. Which works out well since his career is also more tragic than funny.
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Jun 25, 2013 20:05
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This is perfect: Silvio Berlusconi Transferred To Steamy All-Female Penitentiary
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Jun 25, 2013 20:15
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Scientists Probably Discover A New Species Of Frog They’re Always Doing That Kind Of poo poo
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Jun 25, 2013 23:24
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Professor Wayne posted:George Zimmerman’s Attorney Opens Second Day Of Trial With Trayvon Martin Impression After I told my roommate about the opening statement joke, this article became Literally Unbelievable.
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Jun 26, 2013 04:48
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Professor Wayne posted:George Zimmerman’s Attorney Opens Second Day Of Trial With Trayvon Martin Impression I'm not sure that's even much worse than what he really did. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cykCfynh36s
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Jun 26, 2013 05:11
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USA Renews 'Burn Notice,' 'Royal Pains,' 'Burn Collar,' 'Covert Notice,' 'Royal Affairs,' 'Legal Burns'
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Jun 26, 2013 05:24
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Dr_Amazing posted:I'm not sure that's even much worse than what he really did. This is... this can't be real. It's a fake voiceover added to the real footage, right?
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Jun 26, 2013 05:52
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Chicago Blackhawks Relatively Silence Boston Fans Yep, this is about right.
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Jun 26, 2013 11:53
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Jerusalem posted:This is... this can't be real. It's a fake voiceover added to the real footage, right? He's intentionally throwing the case to make sure Zimmerman will get convicted. What a noble act.
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Jun 26, 2013 16:52
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Dan Didio posted:USA Renews 'Burn Notice,' 'Royal Pains,' 'Burn Collar,' 'Covert Notice,' 'Royal Affairs,' 'Legal Burns' Someone decided to build on the joke. quote:This summer, we’re making a splash w/ #BeachLawUSA 
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Jun 26, 2013 21:01
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Happy about the Supreme Court today? Well gently caress YOUR HAPPINESS. Supreme Court Leaves Final Decision On Gay Marriage In Capable Hands Of Texas, Alabama, Georgia Nation Celebrates What Is, Technically Speaking, Progress Bigot Relieved To Learn Gays In His State Still Effectively Subhuman
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Jun 26, 2013 21:48
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God drat I must have read this as "monkey" 10 times over the past few days when I load up The Onion and only noticed on Literally Unbelievable that it was "money". I laughed at both.
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Jun 26, 2013 23:22
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Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, Alito Suddenly Realize They Will Be Villains In Oscar-Winning Movie One Day
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Jun 27, 2013 15:36
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-proud-of-cockroaches,32984/
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Jun 27, 2013 20:12
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Texas Executes 393rd Guilty Prisoner Truly America's Finest News Source (I'm seriously not being loving sarcastic).
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Jun 27, 2013 20:21
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My Mistress Makes the Best Potato Salad Such a perfect onion article, it's so good and the last line is golden (idaho potato).
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Jun 27, 2013 20:40
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'I Would Be Absolutely Perfect For This,' Report 1,400 People Looking At Same Job Posting
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Jun 27, 2013 21:07
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From 2009. I can't help but think of MRAs when I see this now: Empowered Man Murders Controlling Wife In Lifetime For Men Original Movie Also this, cause its just perfect: Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology "Praise Batman!"
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Jun 27, 2013 21:13
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Hoooooooooooooooooly poo poo  13 Adorable Photos Of Baby Farm Animals, But With Each Click, Another Appendage Will Be Cut Off Our Finance Director’s Body. How Far Will You Go? When Will You Let It Stop?
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Jun 27, 2013 21:43
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Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures
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Jun 27, 2013 21:57
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BrooklynBruiser posted:Hoooooooooooooooooly poo poo You knew it was going to come to this eventually.
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Jun 27, 2013 22:07
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quote:Texas Executes 393rd Guilty Prisoner Jesus Christ these three. They are on fire this week.
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Jun 27, 2013 22:37
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Eminem Terrified As Daughter Begins Dating Man Raised On His Music
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Jun 27, 2013 22:40
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bilperkins2 posted:Jesus Christ these three. They are on fire this week.
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Jun 27, 2013 23:45
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CIA Wants Its Officers to Stop Leaking Secrets to Reporters, Says Memo Leaked to Reporter
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Jun 28, 2013 00:42
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ultrafilter posted:CIA Wants Its Officers to Stop Leaking Secrets to Reporters, Says Memo Leaked to Reporter I read the whole thing before I realized what site it was on. 
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Jun 28, 2013 00:45
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prefect posted:I read the whole thing before I realized what site it was on. You're in the PYF Onion story thread, what did you expect?
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Jun 28, 2013 03:17
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MariusLecter posted:You're in the PYF Onion story thread, what did you expect?
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Jun 28, 2013 03:21
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CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years http://www.theonion.com/articles/cia-realizes-its-been-using-black-highlighters-all,1848/
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Jun 28, 2013 03:22
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God Proud Of Cockroaches The whole article is fantastic, but the last line is killer.
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Jun 28, 2013 04:33
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As soon as I read the article, I thought of Nas's song, "Daughters", so I hold special affection for this article because it reminds me of one of my favorite songs.
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Jun 28, 2013 05:02
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Warning: if you are subscribed to The Onion on Facebook. Never, ever look at the comments on the stories. I made that mistake today. It's full of people trying to be funny and it's incredibly pathetic.
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Jun 28, 2013 17:23
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Also some people taking the article seriously and getting defensive and offended, there is that too.
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Jun 28, 2013 18:29
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/scientists-find-link-between-how-pathetic-you-are,33003/ This is why I always leave a ten minute delay in my replies  edit: http://www.theonion.com/video/autopsy-of-a-scene-paul-feig-points-out-how-many-g,32998/ ahhahahah holy poo poo. "A GHOST! gently caress!" Chexoid has a new favorite as of 22:34 on Jun 28, 2013 |
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Jun 28, 2013 22:31
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Yeah, take it off by summer http://www.theonion.com/articles/yeah-take-it-off,20916/
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Jun 29, 2013 16:18
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Skeesix posted:Yeah, take it off by summer Now I'm picturing that guy from the Jimmy Dean commercials and its just creepy.
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Jun 29, 2013 16:27
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