alnilam posted:I'm not seeing what's so entertaining about these crackers, seem pretty boring to me crackers are pretty good with cheddar they tend to keep all of it ---------------- |
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Jun 21, 2018 21:18
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Trying to be hip on social media but also trying to sell this vinyl siding You can't have Waluigi, but you can have our RainRuiner poly-vinyl siding! Woman 1 (Cedar Shingles) Man (New Home Owner) Woman 2 (Mite Fright Vinyl Siding) |
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Jun 22, 2018 03:17
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Is this real wood? No, it is an affordable synthetic alternative developed by Hortenbach Chemie AG. |
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Jun 22, 2018 03:19
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a wiener dog that has a giraffe proportioned neck |
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Jun 22, 2018 17:51
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Frustrated 1970s prop comedian Gallagher recently tried to get into the public spotlight by defacing one of America's most sacred symbols: a print of a painting of dogs playing poker.
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Jun 22, 2018 19:41
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Kthulhu5000 posted:Frustrated 1970s prop comedian Gallagher recently tried to get into the public spotlight by defacing one of America's most sacred symbols: a print of a painting of dogs playing poker. Gallagher vs. a Whack-a-Mole https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 22, 2018 21:24
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Splatmaster posted:Gallagher vs. a Whack-a-Mole Hungry hungry hippos crossing the Delaware |
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Jun 23, 2018 12:36
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wario wear, a fly by night clothing company staffed by d-list video game characters and, of course, run by wario himself |
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Jun 23, 2018 20:20
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exquisite but ex squeeze it, another way of saying sex with ex after breaking up. |
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Jun 24, 2018 18:38
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naked and afraid but with animals: a deer and a rabbit must survive 21 days in the wild with no clothes and only 1 survival item each, will they make it the full 21 days or will they tap out!?
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Jun 24, 2018 22:53
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Luvcow posted:naked and afraid but with animals: a deer and a rabbit must survive 21 days in the wild with no clothes and only 1 survival item each, will they make it the full 21 days or will they tap out!? the dating game but with woodland animals. when the contestant is a prey animal they are trying subtly but very earnestly to suss out whether the bachelors are predators. "so, bachelor #2, is your romantic style more, uh, searching and gathering, or do you prefer the thrill of the chase?" |
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Jun 24, 2018 23:38
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Manifisto posted:the dating game but with woodland animals. when the contestant is a prey animal they are trying subtly but very earnestly to suss out whether the bachelors are predators. lol
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Jun 24, 2018 23:48
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A robot that shakes a new trashbag to open it for you. A yogurt incubator that doubles as a chest warmer. Popcorn desheller. |
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Jun 25, 2018 03:17
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a bluetooth toaster that perfectly toasts a toaster strudel when your alarm clock goes off |
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Jun 25, 2018 15:15
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I don't care how bad the actual condition is, and that it may be life-threatening if untreated. There is no way I'm going to ingest "clown toe jelly".ShortStack posted:a bluetooth toaster that perfectly toasts a toaster strudel when your alarm clock goes off um this is the thread for good jokes, not excellent invention ideas. ---------------- |
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Jun 25, 2018 22:58
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We have the Sunrise Strudeler or, for the carnivores in the audience, the Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey fried breakfast alarm. Simply load the Wakey Wakey with a dozen eggs, a rasher of your favorite bacon, and a quart of low-fat cooking oil, then place the stain resistant Alarm Mat (19.99), set the egg doneness meter, and put on your eye safety Sound Sleep Goggles (39.99). |
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Jun 26, 2018 00:44
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this handy bluetooth device will alert the farmer to plant wheat, the hens to lay eggs, the pigs to, uh, continue to fatten themselves (which, let's face it, they would do anyway), the real estate speculators to buy up florida land allegedly suitable for citrus. when your alarm clock goes off, it will not have breakfast ready--far from it--but you will wake to the comforting knowledge that wheels have been set in motion, that a vast and perhaps incomprehensible chain of events is unfolding that will, most assuredly, one day furnish you with a hearty breakfast. |
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Jun 26, 2018 01:19
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Manifisto posted:this handy bluetooth device will alert the farmer to plant wheat, the hens to lay eggs, the pigs to, uh, continue to fatten themselves (which, let's face it, they would do anyway), the real estate speculators to buy up florida land allegedly suitable for citrus. when your alarm clock goes off, it will not have breakfast ready--far from it--but you will wake to the comforting knowledge that wheels have been set in motion, that a vast and perhaps incomprehensible chain of events is unfolding that will, most assuredly, one day furnish you with a hearty breakfast. sounds like a prayer to me. you just skip the middleman i guess, or the device is the middleman. but if the device itself is a middleman, and the middleman for a prayer is god, and both prayer and device do the same thing, does that mean the bluetooth device is a god? |
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Jun 26, 2018 01:30
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Someone start the breakfast tech thread. Shortstack, I'm looking at you! Or whoever, I'm not a cope |
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Jun 26, 2018 02:28
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a life affirming plate that says "good job i'm proud of you for eating today" no matter what you put on it
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Jun 26, 2018 03:08
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Someone start the breakfast tech thread |
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Jun 26, 2018 03:12
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1. Cut open your salmon 2. Take out the guts and bones 3. Fill with butter, lemon, garlic, and Reese Peanut Butter Cups(R) 4. BBQ until it is done. Brought to you by Reese(R)! |
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Jun 26, 2018 03:22
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Let us not forget the traditions and harmony with the seasons that our ancestors had. Let us remember that late each fall, they would scrape together the fixings for the single Yuletide blooming onion appetizer, which was meant to last them through the long, chilly winter until spring returned. Done properly, the last deep-fried onion wedge would be consumed just as the Earth thawed and brought vivid life back to the soil. It was a time for celebration and merriment then, for it meant that two appetizers and two entrees with unlimited steak fries and bottomless beverages for $21.95 were back on the menu. ---------------- |
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Jun 27, 2018 05:28
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have you ever thought "look at this vegitable, why isn't it fried?" well think no longer because I present to you the vegitable fryer. Just pour some grease or oil or whatever in there an toss in your favorite vegitable and get to frying that thing up until it loses all semblence to the chemical make-up it had originally, but now in its superior form, is now so crunchy and greasy. Enjoy.
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Jun 28, 2018 01:55
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
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Dick Bastardly posted:have you ever thought "look at this vegitable, why isn't it fried?" well think no longer because I present to you the vegitable fryer. Just pour some grease or oil or whatever in there an toss in your favorite vegitable and get to frying that thing up until it loses all semblence to the chemical make-up it had originally, but now in its superior form, is now so crunchy and greasy. Enjoy. Yes but can it play J-Kok 109.7 at 6:30 every morning? |
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Jun 28, 2018 02:03
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Yes but can it play J-Kok 109.7 at 6:30 every morning? that and so much more
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Jun 28, 2018 02:33
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Alright my dear and lovely quippers, post your finest ideas for cutting edge Breakfast Tech. |
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Jun 28, 2018 13:32
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Alright my dear and lovely quippers, post your finest ideas for cutting edge Breakfast Tech. thanks shinybirdteeth theeth |
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Jun 28, 2018 13:40
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Elbowing my way through the reporters' scrum to shout, "Pink starburst or orange? Senator, Senator, pink or orange?" |
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Jun 28, 2018 22:33
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I hope this isn't too political but: The story of the first guy to ever cleverly and sometimes underhandedly barter his way into owning all of the huts in his village. It's a parable. Or he could end up with all the tulips and unable to buy anything. Money is weird guys. Money is weird. |
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Jun 29, 2018 00:20
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Elbowing my way through the reporters' scrum to shout, "Pink starburst or orange? Senator, Senator, pink or orange?" "No comment!!" |
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Jun 29, 2018 00:26
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Nevvy Z posted:I hope this isn't too political but: I cornered the market in tulips, only to learn too late that the true flowering beauty was inside my loved ones all along... |
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Jun 29, 2018 04:23
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Elbowing my way through the reporters' scrum to shout, "Pink starburst or orange? Senator, Senator, pink or orange?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=155_EYRGyO8 These are just regular people leaving a strip mall who have no idea what is going on, from the Eric Andre Show, lol. Look at my suit!
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Jun 29, 2018 10:38
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hold on: a black metal tribute to wilson philips |
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Jun 29, 2018 13:23
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get up and go away: a bluegrass tribute to godsmack |
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Jun 29, 2018 13:24
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the lamb skanks down on broadway: a ska tribute to genesis |
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Jun 29, 2018 13:25
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Its a project I've been working on for... let's just say it's been too long. *polite chuckling* But seriously, I'm happy you're all here for my opening. Its been a struggle, and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices along the way. Friends, family... love. But I believed in what I was doing, and today I can finally be finished with this. The piece is entitled "Long Hard Road out of Hell in a Cell". It's contents: every single Undertaker match with his face digitally replaced by Glenn Danzig, and finally overdubbing his voice with Danzig telling people to turn their cameras off. |
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Jun 29, 2018 13:48
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*getting flexed on by the 5th grader down the street with the mohawk bike helmet and wifebeater* uh, sorry, yeah I buy my lunch, but I don't really carry cash on me anymore, you know? Do you want me to just etransfer you? |
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Jun 29, 2018 13:52
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| nips | |
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Jun 29, 2018 14:53
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| # ? May 26, 2024 15:00 |
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A Navy SEAL is a highly trained commando. As such, candidates trying to become one are made to undergo rigorous tests of their mental and physical endurance in order to prove their mettle. Crawling through mud, pushups in the pouring rain, freefalling into the ocean, and so forth. But even those who make it through all of that aren't yet good enough to be SEALs, not until they pass the final test: the "mayonnaise grenade". It's pretty straightforward; candidates get on their knees and root around inside of a ten gallon tub of mayonnaise for a dummy grenade and its pin, and then put the two together. It sounds like a pretty trivial and goofy exercise, but it breaks sixty percent of SEAL trainees who attempt it. ---------------- |
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Jun 29, 2018 20:18
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