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Inspector Gesicht
Oct 26, 2012

500 Zeus a body.


For some annoying reason the game checklists all the vehicles you have driven, only there's one vehicle that spawns in oe select mission so gently caress you.

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bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




There’s a hunting mission in Blood Dragon where your quarry are four mutated tortoises in a sewer wth pizza boxes scattered around

Strom Cuzewon
Jul 1, 2010

Riatsala posted:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon might be the greatest work of satire in the video game medium, and it's definitely up there for being the tightest 10 hours of FPS gameplay ever. It's a fast paced shooter set in the far flung cyber-future of 2006 by way of 1983, where a rogue general and his army of cyber commandos threatens to destroy all mankind. It's a perfect, over the top, 100% shameless send up of 1980s action/sci fi movie excess. You play Rex Powercolt, a Mark IV cyber commando voiced by Michael Biehn of Terminator and Aliens fame, an FPS hero that begins the DLC already a hair more powerful than Jason Brody ever becomes in Far Cry 3, and who by the end is an unstoppable killing machine. This game is filled to the loving brim with little things I could mention, but there is one that I want to mention here. All the tropical wildlife from the main game appear in this game, except that they receive cyber upgrades like neon claws and eyes or chrome skin. Not so for the wild boars who, in classic dystopian 80s movie fashion, are covered in gang tag style graffiti.

Alternatively, the bit about the lever in Deadpool, with the lever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea9DeDncFO0

Mr Luxury Yacht
Apr 16, 2012


Erotic Wakes posted:

And the soundtrack was fantastic because they got an actual retrowave synth musician to do it and licensed the band from Miami Connection for the credits.

That end credits song was loving amazing and I sincerely hope the Miami Connection guy got some royalties for it.

Twitch
Apr 15, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Safeword posted:

I have no idea what's going on in Black Ops 3 and it's amazing.

I'm also a new Call of Duty player getting into Black Ops 3 because of PS+, but I've only done the tutorial levels in the campaign so far because I got hooked on the multiplayer. This is good to hear.

The last CoD game I tried to get into was the first Modern Warfare, and that sorely needed parkour and a jetpack.

Safeword
Jun 1, 2018

by R. Dieovich
It's an insane sort of bonkers. Starts off kind of dry but goes off the rails within a few chapters.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

bitterandtwisted posted:

There’s a hunting mission in Blood Dragon where your quarry are four mutated tortoises in a sewer wth pizza boxes scattered around

Isn't that in one of the Borderlands games? Or did they both make the same joke?

StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

haveblue posted:

Isn't that in one of the Borderlands games? Or did they both make the same joke?

They both made the same joke, yes. I guess game developers really want those ninja turtle fuckers dead.

codenameFANGIO
May 4, 2012

What are you even booing here?

There is also a hidden level in Nuclear Throne called the Pizza Sewers where the only enemies are four turtles and one rat. People who make video games love killing the Not Ninja Turtles.

doctorfrog
Mar 14, 2007

Great.

Blood Dragon does seem to understand the Far Cry series better than any of the other Far Cries do. I've only played Far Cry 2 myself, and really enjoyed it, but there was this theme park vibe to things, like it was some Sahel version of Westworld staffed by paid actors or robots.

As a game that makes the thinnest of pretenses for you to run around shooting people and buying guns with the only currency available in the game, the game world and backstory itself also makes the thinnest of pretenses for its main character to run around shooting people and buying guns with the only currency available in the game. It may as well be as ridiculous as possible.

Safeword
Jun 1, 2018

by R. Dieovich
In Black Ops 3 there is an ability that makes your victim's cybernetics and power armour go nuts. This acts as a glorified stun against more advanced enemies, but against standard grunts it forces their joints, spine and neck to twist far beyond what they're meant to.

It's horrifying but hilarious at the same time.

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

StandardVC10 posted:

They both made the same joke, yes. I guess game developers really want those ninja turtle fuckers dead.

Punch Club has a sidequest where you fight four mutant, martial-arts-knowing crocodiles.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Safeword posted:

In Black Ops 3 there is an ability that makes your victim's cybernetics and power armour go nuts. This acts as a glorified stun against more advanced enemies, but against standard grunts it forces their joints, spine and neck to twist far beyond what they're meant to.

It's horrifying but hilarious at the same time.

You'd think power armor would have physical constraints to prevent that from happening.

Captain Lavender
Oct 21, 2010

verb the adjective noun

Samuringa posted:


And they build up in a good "You don't gently caress with the Assassins" moment in Revelations where Ezio sends the entire brotherhood against a target and you get unlimited uses of the squads, meaning you can wander inside the compound and just let your dozens of companions murder everything that stands in your way.

Ack! I loved this. I saw it coming like, right before it did, so when it did it was really satisfying. I can't remember if the game forces you to walk instead of run, or if I just did that to be cool, but I remember walking leisurely though the chaos while my assassins did all the work on my way up to the bad guy. Felt good.

As an aside, I'm replaying KoTOR, and I can't really credit the game for this, but I got a utility that lets you play in 1920x1080, and it actually looks pretty good. Sometimes when you blow up an old game like that, you see how ugly the textures are, but it actually looks great considering it's age. Kind of has a new feeling to it.

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
Fun Shoe
If you're gonna have a sewer level, TMNT is one of the few pop-culture references you can make that isn't passing judgement on something, because they actually live in the sewer.

Aleph Null
Jun 10, 2008

You look very stressed
Tortured By Flan
The other thread mentioned KOTR2 and I remembered one of the many things I loved: you could never make Kreia happy. Whatever you picked, she berated you over it and forced you to think about why you picked that option: white, black, grey, whatever. Why the gently caress did you do that? Are you sure? Maybe you should think about the consequences of your actions? Maybe you should just do nothing and leave everyone alone? Have you considered that?

Riatsala
Nov 20, 2013

All Princesses are Tyrants

doctorfrog posted:

Blood Dragon does seem to understand the Far Cry series better than any of the other Far Cries do. I've only played Far Cry 2 myself, and really enjoyed it, but there was this theme park vibe to things, like it was some Sahel version of Westworld staffed by paid actors or robots.

As a game that makes the thinnest of pretenses for you to run around shooting people and buying guns with the only currency available in the game, the game world and backstory itself also makes the thinnest of pretenses for its main character to run around shooting people and buying guns with the only currency available in the game. It may as well be as ridiculous as possible.

I agree. Blood Dragon was a direct response to people who didn't buy Far Cry 3's storyline. It *may* be a fluke, but if it's not it means Ubisoft is a lot better at being funny than they are at being self-serious, which is a real shame since that's a rare talent and they're wasting a lot of time and effort giving ridiculous (if mechanically solid) games the thin illusion of depth or social commentary.

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Aleph Null posted:

The other thread mentioned KOTR2 and I remembered one of the many things I loved: you could never make Kreia happy. Whatever you picked, she berated you over it and forced you to think about why you picked that option: white, black, grey, whatever. Why the gently caress did you do that? Are you sure? Maybe you should think about the consequences of your actions? Maybe you should just do nothing and leave everyone alone? Have you considered that?

I actually remember one very specific instance where Kreia praised me: In the planet where there are two warring factions(Dantooine), you can play your cards in a way that you stay neutral to both to the very end decision. She was actually proud and commended me for keeping my cool and having everyone under my thumb before acting out.

Poops Mcgoots
Jul 12, 2010

Since people are talking about Blops 3 again, I liked that (ending spoilers I guess) it's heavily implied by the pre-mission debrief texts that zip by that the surgery to make your character a cyborg was unsuccessful and you died. All the missions that follow the vr tutorial are your mind living through memories of Christopher Meloni's character. There was a post on reddit that explained it all. Sure, it has the same problem as all twists of this kind, but at least this time around it's actually in the game and isn't just people trying to make a lighthearted story more edgy.

1stGear
Jan 16, 2010

Here's to the new us.
I always really looked forward to the Treyarch CoD's because while the single player in other CoD games is generally just "Gruff warmans fight wars" played straight, the Treyarch campaigns just got increasingly nuts. World of War is probably the last straightforward one they did, but all the Black Ops games have been ridiculous.

1) The game opens with you attempting (and failing) to assassinate Castro. Then you are captured by the Russians who program you to kill JFK except a different Russian programs you to kill the first set of Russians and you hallucinate that Russian leading you through Vietnam and breaking into a weapons research facility.

2) Not-Occupy Wall Street is a terrorist organization! Manuel Noriega helps you take down a drug lord! Then you play as that drug lord as he ax murders his way through a bunch of Panamanian soldiers! Tony Jay says cocksucker literally every other goddamn word! And lest I forget:

U!

S!

S!

OBAMAAAAAAAAA

3) THIS GAME OPENS WITH A ROBOT TEARING YOUR ARMS OFF AND BEATING YOU TO DEATH WITH THEM

John Murdoch
May 19, 2009

I can tune a fish.

haveblue posted:

Isn't that in one of the Borderlands games? Or did they both make the same joke?

Same reference, different joke. The Borderlands version is played pretty much straight since it's really just leaning on the reference, but in Blood Dragon it's literally just four turtles. Like totally normal turtles from regular old normal Farcry 3, hanging out in a sewer. Except they've somehow set up traps to try and stop you from killing them.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Poops Mcgoots posted:

Since people are talking about Blops 3 again, I liked that (ending spoilers I guess) it's heavily implied by the pre-mission debrief texts that zip by that the surgery to make your character a cyborg was unsuccessful and you died. All the missions that follow the vr tutorial are your mind living through memories of Christopher Meloni's character. There was a post on reddit that explained it all. Sure, it has the same problem as all twists of this kind, but at least this time around it's actually in the game and isn't just people trying to make a lighthearted story more edgy.

Also in the second level, which is you getting VR training in your brain during the surgery, there’s flashes of a distressed Taylor being dragged away from you by a team of surgeons, heavily implying the whole “you dead” thing before it gets more obvious.

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

John Murdoch posted:

Except they've somehow set up traps to try and stop you from killing them.

They /are/ ninjas. Traps are very in-character.

Dewgy
Nov 10, 2005

~🚚special delivery~📦
[quote="1stGear" post=""485315946”"]Tony Jay says cocksucker literally every other goddamn word
[/quote]

Ahem, I believe when he says it it’s spelled “COCK-SSSSSUCKA”.

Also it was Tony Todd, Tony Jay’s been dead for far too long. :(

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
I'm not huge on the kotor games or star wars in general, but I absolutely adore that whenever you try to mind trick a mandalorian, it always fails because they recognize what you're doing and immediately open fire on you :allears:

Erotic Wakes
May 19, 2018

by Lowtax

haveblue posted:

Isn't that in one of the Borderlands games? Or did they both make the same joke?

codenameFANGIO posted:

There is also a hidden level in Nuclear Throne called the Pizza Sewers where the only enemies are four turtles and one rat. People who make video games love killing the Not Ninja Turtles.

Cleretic posted:

Punch Club has a sidequest where you fight four mutant, martial-arts-knowing crocodiles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrEPm68FUk4

Aleph Null posted:

The other thread mentioned KOTR2 and I remembered one of the many things I loved: you could never make Kreia happy. Whatever you picked, she berated you over it and forced you to think about why you picked that option: white, black, grey, whatever. Why the gently caress did you do that? Are you sure? Maybe you should think about the consequences of your actions? Maybe you should just do nothing and leave everyone alone? Have you considered that?

One thing that works almost universally with getting approval for Kreia is saying that you'll take what she's said into consideration or that you'll think about it. No matter what action made her pipe up in the first place she really just wants an audience for her rambling and to be taken seriously.

Polaron
Oct 13, 2010

The Oncoming Storm

Aleph Null posted:

The other thread mentioned KOTR2 and I remembered one of the many things I loved: you could never make Kreia happy. Whatever you picked, she berated you over it and forced you to think about why you picked that option: white, black, grey, whatever. Why the gently caress did you do that? Are you sure? Maybe you should think about the consequences of your actions? Maybe you should just do nothing and leave everyone alone? Have you considered that?

This is why I loving hated Kreia. It's the same thing Spec Ops: The Line does: force you to make a bad decision (or not give you a choice at all in the case of The Line) and then ask you why you were such an rear end in a top hat to do that.

Plus, KotOR2 makes it pretty clear that Kreia is the villain and yet people keep acting like she's got some amazing point.

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

1stGear posted:

I always really looked forward to the Treyarch CoD's because while the single player in other CoD games is generally just "Gruff warmans fight wars" played straight, the Treyarch campaigns just got increasingly nuts. World of War is probably the last straightforward one they did, but all the Black Ops games have been ridiculous.

1) The game opens with you attempting (and failing) to assassinate Castro. Then you are captured by the Russians who program you to kill JFK except a different Russian programs you to kill the first set of Russians and you hallucinate that Russian leading you through Vietnam and breaking into a weapons research facility.

2) Not-Occupy Wall Street is a terrorist organization! Manuel Noriega helps you take down a drug lord! Then you play as that drug lord as he ax murders his way through a bunch of Panamanian soldiers! Tony Jay says cocksucker literally every other goddamn word! And lest I forget:

U!

S!

S!

OBAMAAAAAAAAA

3) THIS GAME OPENS WITH A ROBOT TEARING YOUR ARMS OFF AND BEATING YOU TO DEATH WITH THEM

All of those except the last point are from BLOPS 2, which just shows that the entire BLOPS trilogy is insane from toe to tip

Erotic Wakes
May 19, 2018

by Lowtax

Polaron posted:

It's the same thing Spec Ops: The Line does: force you to make a bad decision (or not give you a choice at all in the case of The Line) and then ask you why you were such an rear end in a top hat to do that.

Captain Martin Walker is the rear end in a top hat. You're just playing as him. You are still a good person.

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011

Internet Wizard posted:

All of those except the last point are from BLOPS 2, which just shows that the entire BLOPS trilogy is insane from toe to tip

The first is definitely BLOPS1, because that's the only one I've played.

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
Fun Shoe

Erotic Wakes posted:

Captain Martin Walker is the rear end in a top hat. You're just playing as him. You are still a good person.

If the game presents me with options of "be a dick" or "stop playing", there's decent odds I'll take the latter.

I just finished playing Momodora III (as far as I can tell, a prequel to the probably-better-known Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight). It's a cute little linear action platformer with basically zero explanation of anything. I beat the final boss and there was a fade-to-black and then an explanation that though I had killed the Queen of Hell, ghosts were still plaguing my village, BAD END. Oh cool, that's the motivation for the game then I guess.

Turns out all you need to do to get the GOOD END is beat the boss, but then talk to her at the end, instead of execute her. This causes her to die anyway! But she gets replaced by a cute fuzzy thing (apparently the new Queen of Hell) which apologizes for all the fuss and promises to fix everything.

It's completely unexplained and ridiculous, and I love it. :allears:

Zinkraptor
Apr 24, 2012

Spec Ops was very specifically a takedown of campaigns in games like Call of Duty and other military shooters - the point isn't about having a choice, the point is that you do the same things you do in those games but with more "real" consequences. The idea isn't so much that it criticizes the player for doing things in Spec Ops: The Line (where they're framed very clearly as Bad Things), it's criticizing all the things that similar games do to make you feel like a hero that are actually kinda hosed up. Spec Ops doesn't really work if you look at it purely in a vacuum, since it's very much a game about the genre as a whole.

Spec Ops: The Line is full of little things that have been discussed to death, but one thing I don't hear talked about much is the amount of oddly specific lines there are for when you order your companions to attack something. There's a dinosaur skeleton that shows up all of once that has a bunch of lines associated with it, for example.

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
I've been enjoying how Dragon Quest Builders different settings change the gameplay enough to not make it a simple, boring builder. The first town you're in is simple enough, it's just the usual grassy forest, you build houses, kitchens, forge armor and weapons and eventually defenses to stand against a giant golem.

Now in the second town things take a different turn; first, it has a more specific goal: It's a land that's been cursed by a blight and your main objective is managing a Sick Bay and taking care of patients. You have an Alchemist who helps you build concoctions and a Nurse/Nun that cares for the sick, while you go around looking for what is needed to cure them. As there are no blacksmiths this time, instead your armor are clothes you sew and your weapons tend to be axes. Since the main theme is the negative buffs, you deal and eventually build immunity rings to each of them - and also one to all of them, if you look around. You also learn how to Fish and Harvest, and both of those play a part in curing people.

The third town brings back the forges, but there's another issue: The citizens of the region were inspired by your actions in the two previous lands and began fighting back, so the monsters are more aggressive, to the point that the first mass attack against the city happens almost as soon as you reach it; even the - mute - main character comments that they were not supposed to be attacking this soon. It's first half also takes place in a desert and a volcanic land, so you need to scrap a bit for food - learning to cook Cacti - and wood - gathering seeds from trees and planting them at your homebase. Since you're at a disadvantage most of the time against your foes, the game introduces the Party mechanic: You can now ask your denizens to tag along with you and help fight whatever is in your way. There's also the problem of Elemental enemies: At first, you're attacked by Fire Elementals who are immune to your normal weapons and you have to rely on killing their summoners while dodging their attacks. Eventually, you save a Welder/Weaponsmith that turns things around: By harvesting Lava from the volcanic half of the land, you can make fire bullets and kill Ice Elementals, and by harvesting Ice from the snowed half of the land you can make ice bullets and kill the Fire Elementals. She also develops traps and eventually a way to mix everything and create magic ingots and make more advanced weapons.

These changes remind me, in a way, of Startopia: The gameplay is essentially the same, but the objectives and mechanics are twisted around enough during missions to keep everything fresh.

There's also a very good thing they added, that's hardly little: Early in the game, you learn to craft the Colossal Coffer, a giant chest that stores everything you catch. So if you ever run out of space in your inventory, the items are immediately sent there and you can access it anytime you want, just opening the menu and going into Items, so you never have to worry you left something behind.

Polaron posted:

This is why I loving hated Kreia. It's the same thing Spec Ops: The Line does: force you to make a bad decision (or not give you a choice at all in the case of The Line) and then ask you why you were such an rear end in a top hat to do that.

Plus, KotOR2 makes it pretty clear that Kreia is the villain and yet people keep acting like she's got some amazing point.

You missed the point if you reduce Kreia as something as simple as a "villain". She's the last person you fight in the game and has an antagonistic personality but there's more to the whole story than just a Big Bad you gotta beat in the end.

Captain Lavender
Oct 21, 2010

verb the adjective noun

Samuringa posted:

You missed the point if you reduce Kreia as something as simple as a "villain". She's the last person you fight in the game

Welp...

Ah whatever, it's a 15 year old game, I brought this on myself. Character building is never an important part of Obsidian games anyway.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Avellone has a fetish for all-powerful old ladies who speak in cryptic nonsense. Like, dude, Ravel was okay in Planescape, stop putting her in everything you write.

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

Screaming Idiot posted:

Avellone has a fetish for all-powerful old ladies who speak in cryptic nonsense. Like, dude, Ravel was okay in Planescape, stop putting her in everything you write.

I liked Ravel and Kreia but then i realized its pretty much what he always does.

Durance in PoE has a similar sort of nihilistic philosophy that gets grating because he just kinda dumps a whole ton of TEXT on you with EMPHASIS and all the dialogue options just kinda make your PC seem like a dullard so he can ramble some more about how you don't UNDERSTAND.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Of course Kreia isn't happy with anything you do. She's a broken, manipulative nihilist who wants her last act to be shaping you into a weapon, a tool to destroy the thing she hates, and she hates herself for doing that. She says as much in one of the Ebon Hawk conversations - that maybe she's the only wise person in a galaxy of idiots, or maybe these are just the tired ramblings of a bitter old woman who has nothing left but regrets, venting to the one person who still listens to her.

You should still be able to shove her out an airlock instead of letting her be the main character of course, but these games are linear to a fault :shrug:

Safeword
Jun 1, 2018

by R. Dieovich
There's a dialogue exchange in Assassin's Creed Brotherhood which has aged magnificently.

quote:

Shaun: Bloody Third World country!

Rebecca: You're talking about Italy?

Shaun: No, just Europe in general.

Rebecca: I didn't know England was a Third World country.

Shaun: England isn't in Europe, Rebecca. We tolerate Europe. Like a person tolerates herpes.

:allears:

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

RagnarokAngel posted:

I liked Ravel and Kreia but then i realized its pretty much what he always does.

Durance in PoE has a similar sort of nihilistic philosophy that gets grating because he just kinda dumps a whole ton of TEXT on you with EMPHASIS and all the dialogue options just kinda make your PC seem like a dullard so he can ramble some more about how you don't UNDERSTAND.

And yet the characters he writes are still almost always the only competently written ones in a game either way.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


Durance is an archaic word meaning "confinement" or "prison." An apt metaphor for the writing of Chris Avellone!

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