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Fantastic Flyer posted:People are just frustrated because admins traditionally melt down in a spectacular explosion of drama and never return. The people need their entertainment, FAU. Yeah dude, it's really selfish how reasonable you are being about this, FAU.
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Nov 10, 2019 04:38
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It amazes me how many people on these forums are basically just Springer/Maury fans who literally cannot exist without being "entertained" by random boring drama and ~*meltdowns*~. Especially the people who are awesome and cool and popular and post in the always hilarious and never  pink forum.
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Nov 10, 2019 05:20
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I hope FAU continues to deny them their fun, then. They can get their entertainment elsewhere. I recommend the r/relationships thread, there's always a steady stream of meltdowns there. It's like Old Faithful but with geysers of poo poo instead of water
Malachite_Dragon has a new favorite as of 05:25 on Nov 10, 2019 |
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Nov 10, 2019 05:20
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Elephant Ambush posted:It amazes me how many people on these forums are basically just Springer/Maury fans who literally cannot exist without being "entertained" by random boring drama and ~*meltdowns*~. nice meltdown
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Nov 10, 2019 05:24
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Elephant Ambush posted:It amazes me how many people on these forums are basically just Springer/Maury fans who literally cannot exist without being "entertained" by random boring drama and ~*meltdowns*~. I mean, what thread are you posting in?
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Nov 10, 2019 05:25
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Elephant Ambush posted:It amazes me how many people on these forums are basically just Springer/Maury fans who literally cannot exist without being "entertained" by random boring drama and ~*meltdowns*~.
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Nov 10, 2019 05:30
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Hi. I'd just like to post in the thread called "GREATEST SAGAS" to tell you all how surprised I am that you people seem to be attracted to scandal and spectacle. Shame.
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Nov 10, 2019 05:32
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FactsAreUseless posted:This is something people project onto FYAD more than something FYAD actually is, but the internet has a lot of weird ideas about FYAD - especially on Twitter, which talks about it way more than SA does. Weird I guess I’m not looking for SA specific stuff on Twitter enough because I’ve never seen a single mention of it there E: ok you’re right but I already regret looking into it Snowy has a new favorite as of 06:27 on Nov 10, 2019 |
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Nov 10, 2019 06:22
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snoo posted:looking back on that, the mods/admins here aren't therapists or social workers. I feel that kind of situation, the e/n poo poo and knowing they have a responsibility to report abuse, etc., probably aren't things they anticipate having to deal with. and people aren't perfect. but there's a huge difference between what bobbie did (and didn't) do and the subsequent ban, vs. the way FAU handled it and stepped down.
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Nov 10, 2019 09:30
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i like nice words
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Anne Whateley posted:The joke (horrifying disgusting thing) is that irl, Bobbie Wickham is actually a professional social worker. That doesn't make you terrified about what she gets paid to do but actually covers up all day every day, does it Didn't someone say she was actually like a social-services hotline intake worker, or something like that? Something where her implying she was a social worker was way overstating her qualifications, but at the same time, one where she had much less access to vulnerable people than being a full social worker would imply.
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Nov 10, 2019 09:54
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Laughing at people on the internet, disgusting.
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Nov 10, 2019 10:00
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Antivehicular posted:Didn't someone say she was actually like a social-services hotline intake worker, or something like that? Something where her implying she was a social worker was way overstating her qualifications, but at the same time, one where she had much less access to vulnerable people than being a full social worker would imply. quote:I'm a licensed clinical social worker with a masters degree and work in child protective services. Bobbie is an eligibility worker who assessed people for programs and services, which is usually a bachelors level position in social services. Social work is a very diverse spectrum, and doesn't always imply advanced education or a therapy license. She's also a mandatory reporter. Even a suggestion of possible child abuse and she's legally required to report it so that it can be investigated. Bet that happens a lot. To be clear, I'm not saying she was supposed to approach e/n with the same level of seriousness as a day job. But her decisions in e/n were so mindblowingly bad they were worse than an average person's common sense. In a position of authority, she was authoritarian, spiteful, and held grudges. Those things are what make me worry about where else her terrible judgment plays out. Anne Whateley has a new favorite as of 10:45 on Nov 10, 2019 |
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Nov 10, 2019 10:39
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Anne Whateley posted:Here's what Mocking Bird said, from the thread linked earlier Okay, yeah. Sorry, I mis-remembered what MB said about it. God, everything about the Careful Drums thread is still so gross. I don't think it was entirely Bobbie's fault -- the thread starting as a finance thread in BFC, where the wife being the big spender made her the villain by default, certainly set the tone -- but Bobbie was clearly projecting her own issues with her mother onto CD's wife, and it contributed a lot to the thread just uncritically swallowing so much of what CD was saying. This is probably less of a sin than her being incredibly blase about CD repeatedly alluding to committing child abuse, but there were a lot of layers of terrible going on in that thread.
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Nov 10, 2019 10:54
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Screaming Idiot posted:Oh, now you're an expert on child abuse. snoo posted:a few years back I contacted FAU, because he seemed like the most active admin at the time, in regards to a goon that I knew was a sex pest/pedophile because of what had happened to me. he handled it really well and I appreciate that, and it made me feel better about being back on SA. Also, I was genuinely shocked because I got three pages into that thread (after everything had gone down) and he dropped a pretty casual reference to hitting the kids right away. Everyone who read that thread when it was happening is equally at fault IMHO.
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Nov 10, 2019 11:07
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Antivehicular posted:Okay, yeah. Sorry, I mis-remembered what MB said about it. That reminds me of what happens in the r/relationships thread a lot, where people vaguely skim a post and mostly make up the details based on what their own issues clearly are. I imagine once things get particularly personal people are gonna fly off the handle really badly when you point out what they've ignored.
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Nov 10, 2019 11:20
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Anne Whateley posted:The joke (horrifying disgusting thing) is that irl, Bobbie Wickham is actually a professional social worker. That doesn't make you terrified about what she gets paid to do but actually covers up all day every day, does it 
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Nov 10, 2019 14:26
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The whole BW situation sucked but I’ve cracked myself up like a loon on more than one occasion thinking of “oh my god, there are like three tarot cards that describe your situation perfectly” out of the blue.
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Nov 10, 2019 15:23
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I had no real opinion on FAU ("he seems reasonable and efficient, I guess?) until I interacted with him in PMs. Some weird poo poo had gone down - a goon actually confessed committing a rape to me over email, and I talked to FAU about it. He has been extraordinary in every interaction I have had with him since then.
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Nov 10, 2019 16:15
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He never replied to my PMs, so he is clearly a poo poo.
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Nov 10, 2019 16:18
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WrenP-Complete posted:a goon actually confessed committing a rape to me over email what the gently caress
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Nov 10, 2019 17:01
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bradzilla posted:what the gently caress Exactly!!!
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Nov 10, 2019 17:15
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The weirdest part is that it was through email of all things. "To whom it may concern, I have committed a crime most foul. Sincerely, A. Goon"
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Nov 10, 2019 17:18
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The pokémon thread in games is getting pretty heated.
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Nov 10, 2019 17:23
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WrenP-Complete posted:Exactly!!! Is this person banned or something, because Jesus christ
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Nov 10, 2019 17:46
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Is this person banned or something, because Jesus christ
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Nov 10, 2019 18:24
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:The pokémon thread in games is getting pretty heated. They shouldn't have left their charizard out overnight.
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Nov 10, 2019 18:28
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Also, I was genuinely shocked because I got three pages into that thread (after everything had gone down) and he dropped a pretty casual reference to hitting the kids right away. Everyone who read that thread when it was happening is equally at fault IMHO.
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Nov 10, 2019 18:37
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:They shouldn't have left their charizard out overnight. I'm reminded of an old post about how Detective Pikachu made it clear why most people in-universe don't evolve all their Pokemon; you leave your adorable Litten outside too much and eventually you get Incineroar ripping the front door off its hinges and demanding only wet food.
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Nov 10, 2019 18:39
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Anne Whateley posted:I was reading the thread and picked up on it, but I didn't feel like there was much I could do. I don't have plat, but even if I bought it to report, the report would've gone straight to Bobbie. Who was already active in the thread and fine with the abuse. She would've called me a stupid piece of poo poo again and banned me, and nothing would've changed for CD or the kids. I did make a post trying to gently gently gently suggest that his wife had some points and valid feelings while flying under Bobbie's radar, but I doubt that accomplished much. I didn't have any reason to think admins would care since they didn't care when Bobbie was covering for a sex predator. I think probably a good handful of people were in the same boat. That's understandable, and I apologize for not remembering you'd posted! I'm used to being vigilant for child abuse with students, so maybe what I recognized as a clear sign wasn't so obvious to others. E: I guess I feel guilty for not reading it when it was live and I'm projecting.
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Nov 10, 2019 19:26
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No worries, it was a huge thread! I think there were a bunch of people who didn't pick up on it, but also a bunch of people who did pick up on it but didn't have any good options to act on it. There's no reason you should feel guilty for not reading the thread, nobody could read all the threads.
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Nov 10, 2019 19:31
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Also keep in mind that abusers tend to be really good at using societal norms to gather allies and defenders - see how CD used the terminology of therapy to present the idea that he was trying to get better while using it as a cover for his abuse. Ultimately the blame lies with the abuser, and guilt over missing that is one of the ways they manipulate people. (I read a book about it after this went down, Why Does He Do That, and it's quite good. Strong recommend.)
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Nov 10, 2019 19:33
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Good riddance to bad trash on that.
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Nov 10, 2019 19:38
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I'm glad that we can generally assume known abusers are banned on these here dead forums.
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Nov 10, 2019 19:46
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FactsAreUseless posted:Also keep in mind that abusers tend to be really good at using societal norms to gather allies and defenders - see how CD used the terminology of therapy to present the idea that he was trying to get better while using it as a cover for his abuse. Ultimately the blame lies with the abuser, and guilt over missing that is one of the ways they manipulate people. Okay but there’s such a thing as complicity and being a bystander, and that thread is like a textbook example of a bunch of people enabling an abuser because they just “figured” it was the best that could be done, or they feared mild discomfort or a $10 reregistration fee. As soon as you were made aware, you demodded her, so it seems pretty straight forward to me that at a community level, this forum has a bystander problem.
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Nov 10, 2019 20:01
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To be fair, huge red flags had been raised about BW before that were ignored and a lot of people said part of the reason they didn't report the incident that got her canned was because they didn't believe reporting that time would be any different
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Nov 10, 2019 20:04
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Who What Now posted:To be fair, huge red flags had been raised about BW before that were ignored and a lot of people said part of the reason they didn't report the incident that got her canned was because they didn't believe reporting that time would be any different I personally wouldn’t then engage with the abuser as if his behavior was acceptable or normal and he just needed advice, but that’s just me I guess.
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Nov 10, 2019 20:08
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Yeah, not saying there's not still things for SA to learn and room for growth - just that I don't think people should feel guilty about it, because it's both normal and unproductive.
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Nov 10, 2019 20:08
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Reminder that a big part of the reason this blew up was that QCS is actually a working subforum now and helped bypass Bobbie Wickham's ability to just shut criticism down. And getting QCS to that state was a lot of work.
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Nov 10, 2019 20:37
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Anne Whateley posted:I was reading the thread and picked up on it, but I didn't feel like there was much I could do. I don't have plat, but even if I bought it to report, the report would've gone straight to Bobbie. Who was already active in the thread and fine with the abuse. She would've called me a stupid piece of poo poo again and banned me, and nothing would've changed for CD or the kids. I did make a post trying to gently gently gently suggest that his wife had some points and valid feelings while flying under Bobbie's radar, but I doubt that accomplished much. I didn't have any reason to think admins would care since they didn't care when Bobbie was covering for a sex predator. I think probably a good handful of people were in the same boat. Being called a stupid piece of poo poo and getting banned is like the only reason I spend so much time and money on this creaking old website.
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Nov 10, 2019 21:55
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If I was called a stupid piece of poo poo and banned, and in exchange the kids stopped getting abused, that would be a fantastic trade and I'd do it all day every day. What would actually have happened: I'd be banned, I wouldn't be able to say anything else, 20 people would have reassured him I'm a crazy bitch and he's a good man doing his best, and he would've doubled down
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Nov 10, 2019 22:22
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